"Gay loneliness" | Page 26 | The Popjustice Forum
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"Gay loneliness"

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Raisin Hell, Mar 5, 2017.

  1. I've only been to the cinema alone once to see the first Sex and the City film, haha. I'm pretty sure I was still in Sixth Form so I skipped lessons and went mid-morning. There was only two other people in the theatre and it was a great experience! The film is so long and a little meandering at times so I'm glad no one came with me because I think they'd have got restless. I would definitely go alone again if I wanted to see a film and no one else did, the actual experience of watching the film is a solitary one so I don't miss the company while inside, the only thing you miss is the interactions before and after, but you can tell people all about it once you get back.

    I've been to plenty of gigs by myself and I don't mind at all. I don't really go to big pop shows anymore, and prefer smaller intimate venues, so it's never an issue. You tend to meet people there if you feel able to say hello and have a conversation about the artist you're seeing, and if you like to see the same artist multiple times, you begin to recognise other fans and become friendly with them.

    I used to go out and eat lunch alone at a previous job because our break times were staggered and never lined up. It felt a little strange at first to be sitting in cafes, or alone in parks with a take-out, but after a while you begin to see so many other people doing the same that it becomes pretty normal. I don't enjoy eating out much, but I'd definitely do it alone if I had to.
    ImaginationS likes this.
  2. I purposely booked a seat in the corner at the back. When I booked there were hardly any seats taken and 2 empty ones next to me. Perfect.

    When I got there, every bloody seat was taken and the cinema was packed!
    andru and Terminus like this.
  3. I've eaten alone many times while away for work. It's really calming and I look forward to it.

    There's no rule that says tables of less than two people aren't welcome. If you try it, you'll probably find it liberating... No arrangements to make, no chatter about someone's idiot ex while you eat, no-one texting at the table (I hate it when people do that).
  4. True. They should do single tables/seats like on some buses ha.

    I'm actually going to a gig tonight in London... solo.
    LoveSoSoft, andru and mcuk like this.
  5. Great stuff. Who you seeing?
  6. I've come out to my sister and her reaction has been disappointing to say the least. Welp, i have no desire to do anything.
    LoveSoSoft, andru and Ivan Mani like this.
  7. LoveSoSoft, andru and mcuk like this.
  8. Obviously I'm not too sure what's happened exactly, but I do know it's difficult when the reaction isn't what we'd hope for, but give it some time. As much as everyone's family and friends should react well, I think we have to remember sometimes that we've lived our whole lives coming to terms with it and navigating our way through to self-acceptance privately, the people around us have to go through a similar process when we come out sometimes too. Hopefully in a few days, or weeks, she'll start to come round.
    spillett, LoveSoSoft and enjoy like this.
  9. Have a great time!
    spillett likes this.
  10. A few friends of mine recounted the people they thought would be fine with it took it the hardest - I suppose if said person is entirely clueless, it can be a shock. The good news is that all of those people came around, it just took a little time.

    Actually, my sister was a bit of a twat about it at the time. I remember her saying she wanted nieces and nephews and me being gay ruined that. OK love, I'll just switch back. Some people do manage to make your 'big moment' about their own priorities.
    Last edited: May 16, 2018 at 1:25 PM
  11. Yeah, my mum was like that, her initial reactions were very melodramatic and all about her. I'm paraphrasing but it was essentially, "I'll have to quit my job, how can I face the world knowing I have a gay son?" Like, thanks for that. Luckily it's improved over time, but it's still a thorny subject at times.
    LoveSoSoft likes this.
  12. It's fascinating how they manage to make someone else's coming out all about them. The sheer melodrama of it all. Worthy of some daytime soaps!
    andru and LoveSoSoft like this.
  13. "This is not normal."
    "I beg you, don't do this to me"
    "Im gonna lose my brother"
    "If i were in your shoes, id want someone to tell me im wrong and steer me in the right direction"
    "Do not throw your eternal life for someone you don't even know" etc

    Like congrats you lost me with these asinine and thoughtless comments not because i'm gay. I understand where you guys come from and agree at the end but something in me just wants to drop them.
  14. He


    You are within your right to do so.

    You do not owe them any patience when they're reacting so badly to something so important to you. Make that clear, though.

    Do what feels best for you right now.
    mcuk, enjoy, andru and 2 others like this.
  15. There it is. Self, self, self.

    What, exactly, is being done to her?
    LTG, gagapourgaga, Rem and 7 others like this.
  16. I'm not doing this to you, calm down.
    HighRise, enjoy, andru and 2 others like this.
  17. I dont even want to find out her reasons. I just replied fine and havent contacted to her since.
    LoveSoSoft and Sam de Jour like this.
  18. Solenciennes

    Solenciennes Moderator

    When I came out, my younger brother was perfect about it and came to my defense at the time and years later when my mum had some kind of... episode where it became an issue again, and sometimes I remember that he was 15 years old and handled a lot of shit that he really didn't have to and get a bit emotional about it. Coming out can affect people in all sorts of ways and it's usually to do with worrying about what other people will think and worrying about the person who has come out, dealing with shattered imagined futures, all that kind of thing.

    My older brother was so fucking messy about it though literally his first question was asking me so are you on Grindr like fffFFFFFFF get me! My dad tried to be the intermediary with my mum but made me feel kind of shitty saying stuff like "there are plenty of people out there who will make his life hard for him without you doing it too" to my mum, like, ok thanks for trying to get her to calm down and making me paranoid about the rest of the world at the same time.
  19. Well, I mean, he's not wrong at all.
    LoveSoSoft, andru and Solenciennes like this.
  20. Solenciennes

    Solenciennes Moderator

    He's not, but it felt like a bit of a slap in the face at the time. Thankfully it's all gotten better in the years since!