Discussion in 'K-pop' started by ajmkv, Mar 14, 2017.
But I actually like "I", so don't mind me.
One of our girls is getting down to the wire,
I guess this rate is not her party...
Jessica - Celebrate
High Score: 9 x 2 (@Reboot , @Alouder98 )
Low Score: 5 x 2 (@Deja-Boo , @send photo )
My score: 7
Our favorite Ice Princess Jessica continues to lose her songs, bringing her down to only two remaining in the rate. Today we're saying goodbye to the third track from Wonderland, Celebrate. This song (as all other songs from this album) failed to reach any charts anywhere, but it is also one of the few songs that Jessica has performed, so it's nice to see her having fun while performing solo. What a fun little dance routine! (More on that later~)
This is the kind of Jessica that I want to see, one that is able to let loose a little and dance to a cute bop, and Celebrate is definitely a cute bop. I think that of all of the songs from this album, this has the most interesting instrumental. That groovy guitar playing throughout is a great little touch, and the electronic elements are a good backdrop to her voice. Usually I make fun of her for her really sweet and sometimes nasally tone, but I think that with this type of song it works. She sounds good and this is a quality bop from her.
To be honest, though, and I'm going to be admitting that I'm just the messiest unnie on this forum, the main reason this has grown on me is because I've been watching the performance while reading the lyrics and... girl. Jessica released a covert sex jam. Watching that video where she is wiggling her booty the entire time, including a scene where she straight up rubs it and then grinds it around while saying "I'll show you how to have a good time"... what? Queen of backdoor anthems, I love it! I'll show you how to rock babe, indeed. Seriously, "It’s what you feel inside, let the groove get into you", mmmmhmm Jessica, all right, the groove~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I'm currently learning the dance because it's subtly filthy and I can't get enough. (Unnies, watch the video, it's hilarious.)
I searched for Jessica Jung butt gif on Google and got really strange results so I'll settle for this~
So, y'all naughty unnies, did you like this? First up is Squashua who is on the fence: "Feel good office Christmas party tune. The electronic fuzzes are what take it up a notch, some of the lyrical content tries to pull it back down. Really the Wintery companion to Taeyeon's summery Good Thing." I want to go to that booty-shaking bash! Reboot is definitely feeling the groove: "I love the English version of this. It’s such a happy, positive song," and Alouder98 agrees wholeheartedly (while still throwing some shade like he usually does with our dear Sica): "Basic like the other Jessica songs , but it honestly gives me really good and positive vibes which i can not give it a low or an average score , my favorite on the EP after the title track." A glowing review from you!
There are some haters, though. Slice of Life is not feeling the groove: "There is too much happiness here. It's not for me, I guess." It is for me, then~ And He does not have a sweet tooth for this jam: "another extra sugary track." Cyst, we all need a bit of sugar sometimes!
In retrospect, I should have given this a higher score, because I've been coming back to it a little bit more in the last few days, and the video of her performing made me appreciate this more because it's probably the closest we will get to a "scandalous" Jessica performance, but it wasn't ever going to have a much better result, so I guess this is where its story ends in this rate. Sorry Sica!
The choreography in that video looks so good though & really helps the song POP (even if y*s Unnie it is indeed basically just a lot of butt touching & hip wiggling - what's not to like about that?).
Crying a tad at @Slice of Life morphing into the Grinch to Jessica's Cindy Lou Who from Whoville.
I gave this 9 too @ajmkv. I really thought this one's going to be in top 20 but not even the top 30 ?? Tragic.
The choreography of Celebrate is indeed quite good. It's a shame that she's losing songs so quickly.
Oops, it's fixed now! I hadn't marked you as the high scorer on the spreadsheet. And yeah, poor Jess. If I had given her the 8.5 she deserved for this song she would have beaten the next song and would have been at least #27...
Accept the sugar in your life, cyst!
(Sugar Free remains THAT jam.)
Greatest of all T-Ara songs. Worst of all Jessica songs.
Oh boy, do you believe this situation?
You better keep this a...
Yuri & Seohyun - Secret
High Score: 10 x 3 (@send photo , @Squashua & @ajmkv )
Low Score: 2 (@Sanctuary
My score: 10
Unnies, this is an emergency! It seems like I have been flipping my well-conditioned hair way too much and somehow I let this song be eliminated... I am crying, y'all, crying.
Secret was one of the August 2016 SM Station singles, and it was a collaboration between Yuri, Seohyun, and Pantene (I love how Pantene is credited as an "artist" on the single cover, on YouTube, and on Wikipedia.......). It didn't do too well, as it only reached #147 on the Gaon Singles Chart, though it did reach #10 on the Billboard World Chart. Here, it bows out right before the Top 30. It actually tied with Jessica's Celebrate, but Secret has three 10s and Celebrate had none, so Secret juuuust edges out that song. A small consolation prize for Yuri & Seohyun, but oh well. And finally, this is also Yuri's only song and Seohyun's first song to leave the rate, leaving Luna as the only girl with an intact record in this rate.
I don't know how I could possibly write something more relevant than @Squashua and his incredible write-up for this song in the 2016 rate, but I'm going to give it a shot. Honestly, for me this song is probably THE biggest banger of this whole rate and when I took over the rate it was the ONLY song in the entire thing that had ever even entered my personal charts, so I was so ready to give it my 11 (that didn't happen in the end buuuuuuut...) I still come back to this and stomp down the French streets~ This is a song good for any situation:
Studying at the library and the noisy unnies won't calm down?
Walking a drunk friend home while ha drunk ass won't stop flirting?
See a smokin' hot ahjussi at the shops?
Getting married to the oppa of your dreams and you need to throw a hot party?
Truly a song for every occasion, this one. SeoYuri both sound great on this electro-bop, especially Yuri. I'm really happy that she got to shine on this, even though a lot of her parts were whispers. I love all the synthy details in this song, I even love the first non-chorus and the devil-speak right before it. The drums at the beginning of the song get me every single time, and I can't help but put a little pep in my step and run my hand through my hair wishing it was as luscious as Seohyun's high pony in the video. One day, unnies, I will be as fierce as this song, the video, and these two girls are. This is truly an elimination that cuts deep because it's one of the songs I love the most here. Eotteoke!
So who are the greasy-haired heathens that have knocked this (and Yuri) out of the rate? It's naming and shaming time! Heathen #1, Sanctuary, finally offers some commentary for the constant lowest-scores: "This… has everything that should make me love it, but it’s kind of awful and faceless. The video saves it a bit, but a waste of a STATION track." Awful and faceless? Unnie, you are hereby banned from all salons! Heathen #2, Reboot, is not holding back at all... "Overrated as fuck." I hope your next haircut gets botched! Heathen #3, Slice of Life, doesn't have much to say: "I love the hairflips. And... yeah, that's about it." I hope your next bottle of 2in1 shampoo+conditioner springs a leak! Love you all, I'm just salty~
Some of you deserve the best haircuts in the world, like He, who admits that this is the basic bop the world (and all the scalps there) needs: "Bop and a half. I knew very little about Yuri or Ari-hyun, but they sell this extremely basic bop to hell and back. It’s so trashy and bare bones, but oh so delicious. Pantene got their money’s worth." send photo is also running their fingers through their silky-smooth hair: "This is a downright facking bop. I know I’ve ripped on EDM on other songs but this gets a pass because the production has some interesting quirk. Those hairflips in the video are iconic." And finally, the unnie with the shiniest and glossiest hair, Squashua, is flipping ha hair with gusto: "If you can promise me that using your shampoo will allow me the power to perform perfect slo-mo hair-flips, straddle black diamond motorbikes and ride cybernetic subways with my underwear clad sub-unit then of course, sign me up, buy me a bottle. Cleanse me with your soapy industrial house goodness. Whatever the haters say, this is one of the straight up BIGGEST bangers of 2016 and one of SM Station's greatest creations." All I have to say to this love declaration is...
Which means that...
Yuri, your hair flips are iconic
And your endorsements are well-conditioned,
But this isn't the Home Shopping Network.
Though you are going home tonight,
We will make sure to wash our hair extra well tonight,
and there won't be a greasy scalp to be seen.
You will be missed.
Now, say goodbye to the other girls.
>> You know what, it's OK. I'll keep doing what I do best, selling things... I'm confident in the knowledge that I had the best hair here, anyway. I'm just sad that I'm leaving before my sister, Seohyunnie. Hair flip this competition into submission, girl! Show Taeyeon who's really the boss, all right? And to the rest of y'all... have you tried my Yuri-brand smoothies yet? They're just the best... *sniffs* <<
SEVEN GIRLS ARE LEFT.
WHO WILL BE ELIMINATED NEXT?
NOOOOooooo. Get your scalps checked stat y'all cretins because you lost every follicle to this song weeks ago and never even realised considering it gave your bald heads so much volume. (Except @ajmkv's whose luxurious host weave stays firmly whippin')
MIRICAL... MIRICAL... MIRICAL
WHAT IS THIS INJUSTICE!!!
Unnies, get trashy taste!
It's such a kii that this song performed better in the Song Of The Year Rate while the competition was really harder in that rate.
The greatest shampoo ad of all time. (And now it's gone...)
All of the songs left have a score of 7 or higher.
But traffic is not smooth for all of them...
(Excuse the awful puns, y'all~)
Tiffany - Yellow Light
High Score: 9.5 (@Deja-Boo )
Low Score: 3 (@send photo )
My score: 7
Our golden girl, Tiffany, loses a her second song in this rate. Yellow Light is tied with #29 but I don't like ties and the next song received one 10 (from me oooooooooops) so that one slightly edges out our girl Tiff. Yellow Light, the penultimate song on I Just Wanna Dance, reached the dizzying heights of #135 on the Gaon Singles Chart, and sold just under 20,000 copies, which is not bad for an album track, but was still the lowest-peaking and selling track from the album. We didn't quite think the same way as Once In A Lifetime left prior to this.
Anyway, I'm waffling now, let's get to the meat of the song. As I was listening to this album getting ready to rate it (and later, thinking of things to write about it), what struck me the most is the moody vibe that it has running throughout (not including Once In A Lifetime), and Yellow Light is almost like a song that you would hear in a bar when they're announcing Last Call and people should be getting ready to go. It's an excellently-produced, smooth R&B number of the sort that I would love to see Red Velvet tackle in a Velvet concept (can you imagine if they had released something like that instead of One Of These Nights?). It's slow, slinky, and sensual, all things that I wouldn't have really expected Tiffany to go for before this album came out (and it was full of songs like this, so what do I know?) but she sounds perfect for this. Her ad-libs peppered throughout add to the vibe, and I'm rather enjoying her vocals, they're subdued and fit the song to a T. If Once In A Lifetime is where I expected Tiff to go with her solo material, Yellow Light is where I wanted her to go, and I have definitely underscored this...
Tiffany can do sexy, all right~
If there's one thing that I'm adoring in this song, it's the general vibe that it creates, and for that I think that this song does an incredible job. I Just Wanna Dance was incredible as the single from this EP, but honestly Yellow Light is one of those tracks that I would like to play not only when I have company over but also when I'm alone next to the window, sipping on a glass of wine, smoking a cigarette, and looking out at the city-scape. Even the lyrics add to this fantasy I'm creating in my head:
The Yellow Lights
They seem to tell me to stop
Which light will your heart turn on
When I hear the song and look at the lyrics, I think of me sitting next to a view like this:
So... good job Tiffany. You get the Green Light from me. But did you get it from our other voters? Let's just say that there were no red lights here... however the yellow lights were out in force~
First yellow light on the road, Shockbox: "The chorus is fucking amazing but the verses are just too bland." Quite literally the opposite opinion, but still a Yellow Light, Alouder98: "The verses are good and Pany sounds great on pre-chorus but the boring chorus makes me skip the song." A looooong Yellow Light, one of those that you don't know whether you should stop or speed up for, Squashua: "Basically just Fool with a slower BPM and an attempt @ adding a jazz edge. I'm not against it but this is a point in the EP where everything feels like one long song." Final Yellow Light on the road, Slice of Life: "Sufficient. It's not bad. Not very good either. I don't mind it. Gets points for that slick production."
We do have one Green Light, though, He: "Another very good track. Beautiful and vibey." It's too bad that it's the only Green Light on this road trip! (Ugh unnies I'm creatively drained and these traffic puns are killing me, sorry~~~~)
Aw, I really like that song. It's cute and warm in the sweetest way, and not icky like Jessica's stuff.
That yellow font is what headaches are made of, @ajmkv.
Lord, I know. I'm just going to change it to orange, or just get rid of the theme entirely. Lord knows I was struggling to find what to write!
Confession #147: I remember the only time I listened to this was on an SM Girls shuffle walking to the nearest big supermarket which was nearly 2 miles away. I'd just endured Shake That Brass, then I got lost, it started raining & this song came on & I was just like "Tiff no please, give it a rest, not right now" and docked it points because of that. It's actually not so bad, whoops.
There's a song coming up that I know I'm going to be bottom scorer for but, since it's been on a big ol' international bangers recommendations playlist I adore, I've realised I undermarked it. Lock me back in the dungeon y'all...
I have no score below 7 (except for one song) and we're exactly on the 7 average. #relatable_voter
Also remaining Tiffany songs should all go to top 20.
I missed Secret leaving, but I'm glad it did. It's not good and the video did not give me the Yuri/Seohyun interaction I needed.
And Yellow Light is gorgeous but I'm not surprised it's gone.
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