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Relationships

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, May 1, 2016.

  1. A couple months ago I met a guy on Tinder which happened to be an exboyfriend from a guy I used to be friends with. At first I had a lot of doubts about it because a lot of people told me he was a jerk and that he was just not worth it considering the "relationship" I was coming from. Anyway, I didn't care and went out with him. The first date was amazing I felt like we really clicked, then he disappeared for a while, came back like nothing happened but he was very distant. One day we went to the club and he kissed me but the next day he wouldn't talk about it or acknowledge what happened even when I tried. A week later I invited him to my house and after having a long conversation about our lives it was obvious what was going to happen next but for some reason I always paralyze when it comes to sex so I told him that I would give him a ride home. On the way to his house everything felt very awkward and we didn't talk. I have seen him a couple of times after that but I feel like that chemistry we had on the first date Is gone. Sometimes it feels like he Is actually trying but then he doesn't reply my texts or acts like he doesn't give a fuck. I was trying to be patient because he Is 5 Years younger than me but I am starting to feel very confused. I don't know what to do because I think that if he actually opens up everything would be incredible but I just don't know what he wants.
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2017
  2. If he really wanted to, he should've. Sadly, there are times when we need to stop making excuses for other people. This is one.
     
  3. Honestly if he's acting that way and a lot of people told you he's a jerk (and he's definitely coming off as one), to me it doesn't really look like something worth pursuing, especially if you're actually looking for a relationship.
     
    Rem, Mikl C, Island and 4 others like this.
  4. He

    He

    I definitely agree he doesn't seem like someone worth pursuing, not the way he's treating you. You cannot be expected to wait for him to sort himself out, or worse to sort him out yourself. It might be a pattern, especially if you have been warned.

    I'm sorry you're going through this, because it must hurt. But please, put yourself first, @Blackout Zone.
     
  5. Have you told him that's how he's coming across? I don't know if that might be too soon to have a conversation like that, but if you feel like you can, I'd say having a conversation about this would be a good step. Otherwise, I agree with everyone else.
     
    Blackout Zone likes this.
  6. [​IMG]
     
  7. Thank you for helping me guys. I will walk away from this one. I tried to stop myself from falling in love with him until I knew he was really worth it so this shouldn't be too hard.

    I am going to focus on other important things that I haven't paid enough attention to, rather than trying to find someone, at least for a while.

    @andru I asked him if we were dating and he just told me that we were getting to know each other.

    You've been very helpful. Thank you! I just wanted to be sure because sometimes I give up too fast.
     
    soratami, He and HollyDunnSomething like this.
  8. I’m back on the dating apps and I try my hardest to be as open minded as possible, but I draw a line at one thing in particular.

    I got chatting to a guy, things were going great and then we decided to follow each other on Instagram. Oh my lord, I wish I hadn’t bothered. I clicked on a picture he had taken of a lake. It was a nice lake. Nothing fancy but the picture was fine to be there. What wasn’t fine were the bloody hashtags. #gay #gayuk #guyswholikeguys #bear #instagay. Why would you do this? On a picture of a lake?

    I can’t lie. It’s such a turn off when I see all of that. I’m sure some of you will think it’s me out of touch but I can’t help it I’m afraid.
     
  9. For likes? I don't think you should take the hashtags seriously. But thank you as I will have new ones to add to my posts. Teehee.
     
  10. K94

    K94

    I can't stand spam likers/followers so hashtags are a no-no for me. Like, be happy with the likes you have, sis!
     
    Karvel, Island, munro and 6 others like this.
  11. LTG

    LTG

    People who seem that keen for likes on Instagram that they do that for every photo are a bit suspect for me.
     
  12. Nope. My love for Toms remains strong!
     
    Terminus likes this.
  13. I'm guilty of this
     
    UnionJackMix, Terminus and Seger like this.
  14. Sorry for all the posts but I want to share something about myself.
    For about 10 years now I've been completely antisocial.
    I lost contact with a couple of my straight girl friends after they had kids and the few gay friends I had are long gone too.
    I'm desperate to make new friends because I feel like I'm wasting my life but I suffer from social anxiety and find it really hard to talk to people and I get suicidal sometimes.
    There are no gay hangouts in my area and I don't really like going into pubs because I don't really fit in with the "lads bants" stuff.
    Obviously I'd like a relationship eventually but I just need some friends right now.
     
  15. If you need someone to talk to I am here, just send me a DM. I used to feel the same way, so I know how frustrating it can be.
     
    Seger and Mr Brightside like this.
  16. Whereabouts are you based?
     
  17. Last weekend I was clubbing in a far bigger city so I went out the apps while we did predrinks at this outside thing (it was a bit cold). So I had a few chats and there was a nice Italian and yesterday we spoke a bit on the apps. So he used to study dance and stuff and I told him I loved dancing too. Now he wanted to see that and suddenly he asked me out for dinner. It was a bit soon I felt but I decided why not.

    Then today would be that dinner and of course he texted 10 minutes before I left work with yeah suddenly my bestfriend is coming and now I don't know if it works. Of course it wouldn't and why would you do that while we agreed for dinner? I hate how like in modern communication it becomes normal to cancel plans 10 minutes in advance. That just fucking sucks. So his fucking loss.

    However, to end on a more positive note. A guy who lives reasonably close-by is coming over on Sunday and we'll probably grab a beer or a coffee. We've been chatting for a while now so at least he's worth it and able to hold a good conversation.
     
    kiokiokio and Seger like this.
  18. It's never acceptable to cancel on plans unless it's like before two hours... Unless like, sudden death or something, obvs.
    I hate people who cancel when you're about to leave or something, wankers, the lot of them.
     
    UnionJackMix and Seger like this.
  19. For me it's always pretty clear, they're just not that into you. And to hell with them for wasting your time and getting your hopes up.
     
    Seger and Terminus like this.
  20. PREACH!
     
    Seger likes this.