The Futurama Characters Rate Version 2.0. Winner Revealed! | Page 24 | The Popjustice Forum
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The Futurama Characters Rate Version 2.0. Winner Revealed!

Discussion in 'TV + Film' started by Oleander, Oct 17, 2017.

  1. Hey, y'all.


    The next elimination is finally coming. In the meantime, feel free to guess the final placings for the Top 10. I'm curious to see if anyone can get it right. ​
  2. Mom pays for the Top 9 positions, while your poor pennyless faves just have to accept a 9-way tie at #10?
  3. [​IMG]

    It would be such a kiiiii though.
  4. Well that was a nice grace period, but unfortunately for our remaining contestants, the honeymoon period must come to an end (in more ways than one) at some point. I feel bad for poor @send photo as his idol is about to kick the bucket.

    10. Hedonismbot


    Average: 8.68

    High Score: 10
    (@Petty Mayonnaise, @Posh Spears, @Oleander, @soratami)
    I guess this means we’re all freaks in the sheets?

    Low Score: 5
    (@munro, @Alouder98)
    Of course.
    Actually, make that prudes.

    My Score: 10

    Being THE unapologetic and sex-positive bitch of the series (Madonna found seething) pretty much guaranteed that Hedonismbot would make the Top 10 and it’s only right that he actually did. Hedonismbot is so loved that 8! of his scores were 9+. He may be the first member of the Top 10 to leave, but he proved the judgmental haters wrong by tapping into everyone’s love of pleasure and snatching those top scores. I also heard that his SEX book outsold Madonna’s. Only a icon. Only a king! When I say king, I don’t just mean it in the metaphorical sense. Hedonismbot as you might have guessed by the laurel leaves on his head as well as being made of solid gold, which was paid for by the taxpayers aka the plebeians, and his love of grapes is based on Ancient Roman hedonists. While it isn’t explicitly stated, he is most likely based on hedonistic Roman emperors with the two biggest inspirations probably being the emperors Caligula and Nero. His other connection to ancient Rome comes from Leela addressing him as “Senator” which indicates that Hedonismbot is actually a very important and powerful individual. He is a member of the League of Robots after all. His general behavior is also quite similar to popular depictions of emperors. Oh and he also incorporates a kline into his design. A kline is just a type of couch used by the Ancient Romans and Greeks. I’m personally glad Hedonismbot made it this far because I am a big Greco-Roman nerd so this is justice to me!

    Have you ever wondered why he’s called “Hedonismbot” and not “Hedonistbot?” Well in the commentary for season 3, Matt Groening states that Hedonismbot is “not only a hedonist, but the actual personification of hedonism.” Hedonism is written directly into his programming. That means that every single time we feel a large urge for pleasure deep inside, it’s just Hedonismbot whispering in our ears. Talk about everlasting impact! There are multiple things that Hedonismbot derives pleasure from: food, wine, opera, vomiting, sex orgies, Djambi, etc… Who’s Djambi? Well you might remember him from this famous scene. He’s more than just a servant in charge of painting Hedonismbot with chocolate icing, however. It was revealed in the Proposition Infinity episode that Hedonismbot was a big supporter of the proposition. This means that robosexuality is one of Hedonismbot’s hedonistic pleasures. There may be more going on between them then that, if we look at Hedonismbot’s own appraisal of the situation.

    Hedonismbot’s iconicness and importance stretches beyond what I have already touched on. Originally, he was designed with square pupils like other robots but this was soon changed to unique round pupils. Some of his figurines still have square pupils, however. Speaking of figurines, I found this video of someone turning a Bender model into Hedonismbot. The funny thing is despite his eyes being white on the show, all the figures of Hedonismbot have pink eyes. Either Hedonismbot has a bad case of pink eye or he follows the Rihanna way of life and loves to smoke that good weed on the daily. Note how fucking extra the packaging for his figure is. The pop gurls and their album packing could never! It makes sense though given that Hedonismbot apologizes for nothing even global warming. In the global warming-centric episode, it’s revealed that out of all the robots on Earth, Hedonismbot is the biggest contributor to global warming.

    As I said before, Hedonismbot is a big patron of the arts, specifically of opera, much like actual Roman emperors. He was the one responsible for the opera about Leela that Fry performed on the holophonor. Hedonismbot is also not opposed to hiring people to help him in his sexual pleasures. Bender can personally attest to this.

    When most of Bender's body was Bot-jacked and sold for parts in a robot chop-shop operation, Hedonismbot purchased the "Robo-dong" (aka the Antenna) at The Beast With Two Bucks smut shop (where a toilet cam captured his image) and used it for "...anything and everything." When the Planet Express Crew visited him to retrieve the part, they are shown walking through a pleasure dungeon with him which is populated by both humans and robots. This is the episode where Leela calls him “Senator” by the way. Hedonismbot has himself experienced being hired as he was used for the couch gag in the Simpsons/Futurama crossover episode.

    Hedonismbot’s life isn’t all sex orgies, gluttony, and decadence, however. Aside from being the rightful owner of the Maltese liquor, someone who enjoys putting batteries in things (if you know what I mean), and a robot who dresses for the occasion, he was actually going to get married at one point. Hedonismbot was to be married to a house in the suburbs in July of 3010, but the night before, he held a bachelor party where, due to a nuclear powered stripper malfunctioning, he was the only survivor. It is unclear if he was married or not, but as evidenced by a party in September, his hedonistic ways of promiscuity have not changed. This was later shown during the 100th delivery party where his only concern was if the orgy pit was properly scraped and buttered. And one last fact about this icon: As all robots run on alcohol, and Hedonismbot is often seen eating grapes, it is likely he internally ferments his own wine for fuel. Maybe this is why he contributes so much to global warming.

    Now let’s see what y’all had to say about Hedonismbot.

    Well, well, well… looks like more than one of you relates to this legend. soratami says that Hedonismbot is “Life goals.” He really is. Posh Spears boldly says that Hedonismbot is “Me.” It’s always the one you least assume to be freaks that end up being the biggest freaks.

    Our final piece of commentary comes from one of our Top 9 finalists which means it’s time for…

    The “Morbo” Corner

    I’m clearly running out of “Morbo” gifs at this point.

    So what does “Morbo” have to say about Hediconismbot?

    Morbo thinks poorly of this slovenly and unnecessary robot. 0 / 10

    Oh wow. I wasn’t expecting you to be the biggest prude of the bunch. You’re lucky I can’t legally beat you up since I am the host and everything.

    And now for the music.

    I almost went with Unapologetic Bitch but then I realized that a certain Miss Jackson had a song that was the perfect fit for Hedonismbot.


    Last edited: Jan 6, 2018
  5. [​IMG]
  6. [​IMG]
  7. The time has come to find out who is the second Top 10 character that must vacate the premises and join Hedonismbot at the losers’ table. Not only are they a beloved character, but they’ve had a bigger role in this rate than all the others. Just ask @Rainbow Trousers.

    9. Morbo (The Real One) The Annihilator


    Average: 8.85

    High Score: 10
    (@Island, @Petty Mayonnaise, @send photo, @Posh Spears, @Oleander)

    Low Score: 5

    My Score: 10

    He’s been a fixture in this rate and a good chunk of the write-ups but unfortunately for Morbo, his time in the competition has officially come to an end. Despite both Linda and Morbo being news icons (the cast of Anchorman could never), I can’t exactly say I’m surprised that Morbo made it farther. In a way, he’s kind of like the Ron Swanson of Futurama. He’s almost always grumpy, hated dealing with people, and must tolerate his energetic blonde co-worker. Everyone loves Ron so by the transitive property (almost) everyone must love Morbo. Morbo is one of supposably many big-headed green aliens with inflatable heads (and the father of many belligerent children), although very little is actually known about them. The only other member of Morbo’s species we’ve seen that has a name is Morbo’s wife, Fawn. It seems that the design of Morbo’s people is based on that of the aliens from the 1957 movie Invasion of the Saucer Men. To some extent, they also resemble the Martians from the 1996 movie Mars Attacks!.

    As we all know very well by this point, Morbo is most famous for referring to himself in the third person and being the co-host of the Channel √2 news, along with a variety of other shows on the channel. Aside from being a good friend of President Nixon’s, Morbo is a violent alien who is not only obsessed with taking over the Earth, but mentions that plan frequently. In fact, I think he brings it up every single time he is on screen. Here’s maybe the most famous instance of that:

    Morbo is apparently a scout for the planned invasion of his people, but this could all just be an act to boost ratings. If so, then it’s clearly worked. He tends to call humans "puny" and "inferior" and blurts out "I will destroy you all!" However, he’s helped humans by being the namesake of a prominent Futurama screencap and gif maker. Check it out for yourselves:

    Together with his wife, he attended the party in the Museum of Natural History following the victory of Earthicans to Spiderians, the opera Fry wrote, and the Violet Dwarf Star Implosion ceremony. In 3010, Morbo the Annihillator was seen in a recorded video shown in the V-GINY, announced the first known ad for the eyePhone, covered the passing of Proposition ∞ and consequent legalization of robosexual marriage, hosted the Who Dares to Be a Millionaire? game show, and announced Doom at 11. He also attended the Annual Astor Endowment Fundraiser. As for his TV career, here’s a list of all the shows that Morbo currently hosts, cohosts, or hosted at one point:

    Channel √2 News
    Good Morning, Earth
    Entertainment and Earth Invasion Tonite
    Tea with Titans
    Who Dares to Be a Millionaire?
    Morbo's Movie Reviews

    On Tea With Titans, Morbo has interviewed famous people such as Zapp, the Space Pope, Billionairebot, and Mom. Here’s a clip of his interview with Mom:

    While it seems like Morbo barely tolerates Linda most of the time, he might actually care for her more than he likes to lead on. In a deleted scene of Into the Wild Green Yonder, he was shown to be visibly upset that Linda was no longer around, and violently shook the camera, which could imply that he cares for her to a degree. He also comforted her when she broke down in tears due to suffering from alcohol withdrawal. Morbo seems to function slightly better than Linda when drunk. He also showed her his torso at one point and because it is terrifying beyond imagination, she screamed loudly. Oh, and kittens apparently give Morbo gas. I don’t need to know how he found that out. A final bit of info about Morbo is that in one episode we saw him doing some karaoke. Someone was kind enough to loop it for us, so here you go:

    Now let’s see what y’all had to say about our favorite news anchor.

    Posh Spears is clearly a big fan of Morbo’s: “Honestly good for him for wanting to end the human race. An admirable goal.” Ok now wait…..first you reveal yourself to be a freak in bed and now you’re supporting the idea of ending all humans? Ariana and her “I hate America. I hate Americans” moment could never! Notable purveyor of questionable taste, munro says: “He used to legitimately scare me.” Save it for your therapist, binch.

    And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for since you found out Morbo is eliminated. It’s time for….

    The “Morbo” Corner


    After tanking almost every character in the rate, what does the great “Morbo” have to say about himself?

    MORBO APPROVES. 11 / 10

    Of course. I’m lowkey (highkey) that you’re finally out of the running, honestly.

    And now for the music.

    Since Morbo is a prominent figure of the media and because his desires to take over the Earth could be an act, I figured this Evanescence number about the fakeness of what we see was the perfect fit. I also wanted to shade "Morbo" just one last time in this write-up.

    Last edited: Jan 6, 2018
  8. And since you have the spreadsheet you know it gets worse.
  9. The last two cuts might not have caused much of an uproar but this one might. It’s been forever since we cut the first member of the main cast but the time has finally come to cut someone else from the group. Y’all can probably guess who it is.

    8. Amy Wong Kroker


    Average: 9
    We've finally made it, folks!

    High Score: 10
    (@Posh Spears, @send photo, @munro, @soratami, @Alouder98)
    munro and Alouder98 both being high scorers? Have I somehow entered an alternative universe? I’m sad to see Amy go but considering how many characters you both tanked, I am highkey enjoying this.

    Low Score: 6.5
    You in danger, girl.

    My Score: 9

    Amy might be everyone’s favorite former PhD candidate but her book smarts aren’t enough to get her any farther than this. At the end of the day, this might be a sad elimination but it’s the right one in the context of the main cast. I seem to remember her starting off as not much more than the Professor’s attractive assistant but she has grown quite a bit as a character since then. She may still have her London Tipton from Suite Life moments spoiled rich girl moments on occasion, but she has grown up in a number of ways. The biggest evidence of this is her relationship with Kif, particularly the episode centered around their marriage. She didn’t want to give up her fun party life and ran away from commitment but realized her mistake and went through with the ceremony. Another personal favorite episode involving Amy is the one where she is presenting her doctoral thesis and oversleeps. Doesn’t get much more relatable than that. Here’s a small clip from said episode:

    Dr. Amy is as we all know, is the sole heir of Mars, a socialite, quite clumsy, and is of Cantonese descent. She primarily speaks in English but understands Martian somewhat, can speak Yeti, and can often be seen cursing in Cantonese.

    In case you forgot, her PhD is in Applied Physics. When will any of us? She is always seen wearing her pink outfit because of the pressure from her extremely wealthy parents to look smart and presentable but she doesn't like this idea. According to her wiki page, she is 38 which made me do a double take a first, not gonna lie. She is generally a very friendly person but has shown a bit of a tendency to be catty towards Leela and flaunting her wealth in a demeaning way, specifically towards Zoidberg in the episode where he gets rich. By the end of the episode, she saw the error of her ways through the loss of her own wealth and forged a closer bond with Zoidberg. Her relationship with Leela is still complicated but they will always be friends. Or as the wiki page likes to put it….

    Amy also appears to have some level of vanity and is concerned about her appearance. She is engaged in a constant low-intensity feud with Turanga Leela, the only other female at Planet Express, whom she often accuses of not being ladylike enough to be a true woman. Even so, they remain friends.

    Amy has been in a number of relationships and flings throughout the series, the most notable one of these (aside from her relationship with Kif) being her short-lived relationship with Fry and her robosexual relationship with Bender. She might seem pretty harmless but she can hold her own against Leela and isn’t afraid to show her tough side when needed. Despite her usual intelligence, Amy can be absent-minded. A notable example being removing Dr. Zoidberg's restraints no less than eight times, despite injuries she endured each time. Amy also has little concept of money, having offered to pay more for a hovercar than its sticker price and needing to be reminded by Leela that $10,000 is more than $5,000. As I said in her parents’ write-up, Amy may have benefitted from her rich upbringing in terms of material possessions, but her childhood wasn’t without its struggles. She had a weight problem for quite a while due to her insatiable appetite and took up miniature golf to impress her father. It didn’t work, but she did become a mini golf champion.

    Joining Mars University's student body, thanks to a donation from her parents, Amy began an engineering degree and joined the family sorority, Kappa Kappa Wong along with Sigma Beta. In 2998, while studying at MU she took an internship at Planet Express, a company owned by Professor Farnsworth, one of her teachers (technically, despite the fact that no one take his class. He made up the name of it so everyone would be scared of it, and he has no clue how to teach.) While the job involves engineering work, Amy would occasionally join the delivery crew on the ship, learning how to fly it and control the winch in order to save the current crew.

    In the Titanic episode, Amy faked a relationship with Fry to avoid being set up with someone by her parents. This rouse ended before they all had to evacuate, at which point her parents introduced her to Kif. After being dropped off back at Planet Express by her Amphibiosan love interest, he became too nervous to talk to her and instead began calling and hanging up, which he did for an entire year. They also managed to avoid seeing each other during his brief stint as the company's ship's First Mate. Amy moved on and resumed dating other men, including a short term romance with Fry, which ended with his head surgically attached to her body. Fortunately, his body was soon repaired and the head was put back in place. Zapp took advantage of Kif and Amy by setting up a double date so he could get with Leela. Zapp’s plan failed but Amy and Kif’s relationship was rekindled.

    The couple’s relationship was long distance due to Kif’s line of work. Amy spent this time at work, following a band on tour and becoming an honourary Globetrotter but eventually decided to sneak on board the Planet Express ship and steal it while the crew was sleeping. This rendezvous led to Kif's impregnation, which almost split the couple up, but once it became clear that their offspring would remain in a swamp for twenty years to develop into children, she came around. Not too long after this she temporarily became a child again herself due to an accident at a health spa, and may have come out of the experience slightly younger than where she started. They continued to date, spending the day on a paddle plane or spending the night at a reception for the silk surplus.In the following years Amy had grown her hair long until it was burned down to the previous length by Bender. Soon after became one of many victims of scammers who took control of the whole of planet Earth. After the planet was reclaimed, Amy and Kif had a Fonfon Rubok; the marriage fell apart soon after, when Kif was killed by Zapp's incompetence. He was brought back, but after learning that she and Zapp had spent a night together, he left her.

    Having long sought the approval of her father, she initially defended him against Leela for his views on women but eventually couldn't take the criticism, joining the Feministas to get back at him. The group's history leads to their arrest, but they are broken out by Bender and after Leo's plan is foiled, she is reunited with Kif as they and her co-workers escape from Zapp down a wormhole. After crashing the ship into Earth and being rebirthed, Amy has a long fight with Kif that leads to their break-up when he cannot stand her flirting with bad boys. Supporting this theory, Amy starts a robosexual relationship with Bender, and they decide to marry and votes to legalize robosexual marriage. However Bender leaves her upon realising she wants a monogamous wedding, and she returns to Kif, who now has turned a bad boy for her. Though this has yet to occur in the main universe, two of Amy's alternate universe counterparts have had romances with the alternate versions of Professor Farnsworth. The Hippy universe version of Amy seemed to be involved with Hippy Farnsworth. The Cornwood version of Amy, Gynecaladriel, seduced and made out with Greyfarn, although the Planet Express crew all remembered their Cornwood selves so for Amy and Farnsworth it technically did happen. Additionally, by the year 3050, Amy is involved in a relationship with Cubert who is the Professor's clone. I have my doubts about this considering how Farnsworth treated her in the past, but I digress.

    She is the owner of an obscene tattoo which is generally agreed to be both funny and cute, but sadly not visible due to primitive low-definition TV reception. She also has four other tattoos - one of a devil on her shoulder and another three on her butt, one of which is of her mom and another being a horse (presumably). She is also shown to be allergic to cats, as shown in "That Darn Katz!" If any of you need an excuse to get fucked up, there is a drink recipe commemorating her tattoo. Enjoy. One of the show’s running gags involves Amy getting robbed and pickpocketed by greedy Bender who is always after her wallet or valuable riches. Another running gag is Amy riding her partyboard and then losing control of it, which leads to her crashing into the floor. According to "The Prisoner of Benda", she has been an employee at Planet Express since at least 2992. If her birth year is in fact 2979, that would mean she won Employee of the Year at the age of 13. On the other hand, given the general level of competence of Planet Express employees, perhaps it is not that surprising that a 13-year old would win.

    And finally, there’s the matter of all of Amy’s catchphrases.

    She doesn’t have one specific catchphrase, instead spouting out variations of futuristic slang and modern colloquialisms. These include: Guh! Buh! Fluh! Spluh!Abraca-Duh! Guh-oh. Shmich! What the shmell happened? You must be pretty glorked off. Shmayday! Shmayday! In the same vein, Amy also routinely utters variations on the word "Sheesh!", for example, "Spleesh!" Being the only young, hip character on the show, this constantly shifting slang is obviously a nod to the constantly changing "cool things to say" that pop culture tosses around and then tosses aside over time. She also has a habit of denying a strange thing if people comment on her. In "When Aliens Attack", Nibbler runs away with her bra, and the professor hands her a can to spray a new bra on. After spraying a new bra on, she asks the professor how she looks. The professor says that she looks like a cheap French harlot, to which she denyingly and a bit angrily replies: "French?" In "The Farnsworth Parabox", the Amy of universe 1 calls her evil and shallow, to which she replies: "I am not evil!" Here’s what alternate universe Amy looks like in case you forgot.

    Now that I have thoroughly spewed a lot of info, let’s see what y’all had to say about Amy.

    soratami says: “I was so here for her the first time I watched the show, her fashion sense is extremely questionable though.” Questionable? Her pink Juicy Couture sweatsuit is iconic and you will deal, binch! Posh Spears declares: “Ugh love her forever. Her different ways of saying "duh" are iconic.” They are. Notorious low-scorer munro says: “I wanted to be her as a child, she’s such a queen.” Well I’m sorry to tell you this (I’m not) but Amy is pure glamour and you’ll never be glamour.

    For the first time in what feels like forever, we have no commentary from “Morbo” so let’s move straight to the music segment.

    Despite Amy being an icon of the series and being wealthier than all of us will ever be, at the heart she is an ordinary and clearly relatable girl. Taking this into account along with the fact that I was binging on Rina Sawayama last night, I figured this iconic opener was the perfect fit for Amy.

    As a bonus, here’s an appropriately named track from another famous Amy.

    Last edited: Jan 6, 2018
  10. Fuck you right back, binch!

  11. I'm gonna sink you just like I sank half of your faves in this rate, hoe

  12. You're damn right it does. I really don't want to do the next elimination.

    Remorque, send photo and Alouder98 like this.
  13. Don't you DARE go there you fucking snake! I'm still not over Nibbler's early death.


    The only thing that's going to be "sinking" is you when they lower your coffin into the ground after I'm done with you.

    send photo and munro like this.
  14. My fave reached the Top 10

    We can't all relate x

    Alouder98 and Oleander like this.
  15. Um.....last time I checked my 11 was still in the running, bitch.


    Maybe if you had been here for most of the massacre you partially caused instead of running around town doing your thottery you'd know that.

  16. Do you know me like that?

    Oleander likes this.
  17. These averages though. Legends only.
    Oleander likes this.
  18. My sources do.


    The Pokerates could never. Well except for the Gym Leaders/E4 rate where Cynthia is going to kill the competition with ha perfect 11.0 average. We love a legend. [​IMG]
    soratami and Kuhleezi like this.