Discussion in 'TV + Film' started by Oleander, Oct 17, 2017.
Well yes but... she's not getting my 11.
YOU HEATHENS DID AMY SO WRONG!
Let me act like those innocent people who have lost their faves due to others' trash taste, kii. I don't have this chance every day.
Oh so you're giving it to King Steven instead? Good choice.
We should really decide if there will be one 11 or two.
This self-drag ddddd.
Next elimination is coming.
I’d love to do my typical little introduction but I can’t stop looking at the spreadsheet and thinking…
Why am I disgusted you may ask? Oh, no reason. It’s just that Y’ALL HAVE KICKED OUT MY GODDAMN 11!!!!!
I have been dreading this day since the rate began but the one little bit of solace is that I’m not the only one who gave this character their 11. They might be heading out the door, but at least they’re doing it while clutching a record…..for now at least.
7. Dr. John A. Zoidberg
High score: 11
I forgive you for all the low scores you’ve given.
(@Petty Mayonnaise, @send photo, @Posh Spears, @soratami)
Low Score: See Below
My Score: 11
Before I try and describe the magnificent Zoidberg in words, let me take the trash out first. You wanna know the reason Zoidberg is out at this stage. Technically speaking, Island (8), ManilaChinchilla (9), and munro (8) all played a role by giving Zoidberg sub-10 scores. Honestly, I’m a bit shocked and appalled that Island of all people gave him an 8 considering that he was the original host of the rate. That said, I can forgive him because he wasn’t the lowest scorer. You wanna know who was? Take a guess! It was Alouder98 yet again! He did the unthinkable and strolled on into the rate with a fucking 4 in hand to give to Zoidberg! A 4! 4! Like…...how do you give the legendary Zoidberg a 4? Have you not seen any of the countless memes that he has created? Do you not realize he is a legend that transcends the series? I’m left questioning your sanity because of this quite frankly. The worst thing and the thing that I cannot forgive you for is how you ruined Zoidberg’s final placing. Before you decided to be wrong and tank him, Zoidberg was actually in 3rd place! He was actually very close behind the Top 2, too. When I saw what that 4 did to poor Zoidberg, I audibly gasped. I mean I know it’s a running joke that people hate Zoidberg but that’s supposed to be just on the show! None of the fans are supposed to hate him. I wasn’t the only one upset about this, however. When I told send photo what happened, he also did not take it well. As I mentioned before, he suggested I throw the whole ballot out and I just about did because of this injustice. There’s one reason I decided to keep the ballot and one reason only. (Ok well two with one being that I am a nice person.) You’ll find out the other reason later on in the rate. For now, you’re gonna have to sit through this injustice and my rant.
I’m sure Alouder98 has his reasons for tanking Zoidberg, however wrong they may be but this score? Oh, ok. I see, you think Zoidberg has nothing to do with you. You go to your laptop and you search out, oh I don’t know, some tacky and low resolution gif or meme, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you post online and on this forum, specifically. But what you don’t know is that unlike your cheap gifs/memes, Zoidberg is not just some simple crustacean, he’s not just a terrible doctor, he’s not just a source of memes and gifs, he’s a fucking icon and relatable legend. You’re also blindly unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of Zoidberg-inspired gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn’t it, who showed Zoidberg-inspired military jackets? And then Zoidberg quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. Then his look and classic catchphrases filtered down through the internet and then trickled on down into some tragic “gif/meme site” where you, no doubt, fished some derivative and inferior version meme/gif out of some clearance bin because you were clearly unaware of how effective a classic Zoidberg meme/gif is. However, that meme/gif represents millions of minutes of screentime and countless utterances of sheer brilliance and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the meme/gif industry that Zoidberg helped shape and create when, in fact, you’re using a meme/gif that was selected for you by the people in the Futurama writers’ room. From a pile of “character concepts” that they must have known would end up being rated by some fans on a forum and therefore pushed them to create the best character possible so it would seen as worthy enough to receive the love of the fans and not receive just “a score.” You’re worse than Hermes, honestly.
Well now that the trash has been sorted and disposed of let’s move onto celebrating this legendary character.
As I said above, Zoidberg is famous for his memes with two in particular being standouts. Those are the classic “Why Not Zoidberg?” meme and the “Your ____ is bad and you should feel bad” meme which I have used in this very rate. In short, he is an internet phenomenon that will never fade. Larry The Lobster and his roids could never! Don't mess with John Fucking Zoidberg because he will fuck you up. If you don’t believe me then allow me to remind you of what happens to him during mating season.
As we all know, Zoidberg is the Planet Express on-staff doctor although he is not very good at being a doctor. Here’s some proof: Exhibit 1 and Exhibit 2. This might have to do with the fact that Zoidberg’s doctorate is actually for Art History and not medicine. Get you a someone who can do both. He is quite skilled at reattaching limbs, however. Even if he puts them in the wrong place. His failed attempts at trying to help his friends with their medical problems only makes him all the more relatable. I mean it might seem like he fucks things up far more than any of us but the reality is he doesn’t. We all make mistakes and wish to be helpful to others and accepted by them at the same time. If you try and claim that you have never experienced this then you are a goddamn liar, Carol! Plus, he is quite poor which is a basic tenant of being a millennial so that’s another reason to love him. He lives in a dumpster most of the time due to Hermes continually cutting his checks. All the shit that gets thrown at him does get Zoidberg down from time to time but he never stays sad for long. Life goals, honestly. Even when he became a big shot, he remained relatable by blowing it all and ending up back at square one. Speaking of music, let us not forget that Zoidberg can harmonize with himself.
Talent! Basically, Zoidberg is a simple Decapodian who finds pleasure in the little things. He's a role model for all of us and we should feel incredibly lucky to have him in our lives.
Zoidberg lives with a continuing delusion that he is well regarded by the rest of the Planet Express crew. Most of his co-workers look down on him, especially Hermes, who likes to make his life even more miserable. Dr. Zoidberg is Professor Farnsworth's oldest friend, which suggests that Zoidberg is much older than he appears. A citizen of Earth, he loves his chosen home planet for the personal freedom it provides. He is also apparently the only intelligent organism on Earth deemed nice by the Robot Santa Claus. It is unknown why, but it may be because of a glitch in Santa or because of Zoidberg's kind and innocent personality. Other than the professor, the only people known to identify him as a friend are the members of the First Planet Express crew, Fry (sometimes), Mom and his girlfriend. That episode about his girlfriend Marianne was quite touching and I wish we had gotten a chance to see more of their romance.
Now for some background and general info about Zoidberg.
Zoidberg was born on Decapod 10 and had a crush on his classmate Edna. As we all know, she didn’t reciprocate his feelings just like all the other females on his planet because they all thought Zoidberg was an inferior man. We saw this later on during the mating season episode where he failed to find a mate. Good thing he didn’t because he would have literally died! Grows brown hair that usually turns white immediately in cases of extreme fear (as shown in "Möbius Dick"). He dreamed of being a comedian like his Uncle Zoid but this dream wasn’t approved of by his mother. Though he formulated a new plan to impress his family by becoming a doctor, he was again scolded for giving up his dream of being a comedian. Eventually, he went to medical school and left his home planet to seek his fortune on Earth, although it is not known whether he studied on Decapod 10 or on Earth. He never received a doctorate in medicine for humans, but rather, in art history. Zoidberg is a competent physician, but not for humans. He is competent in the anatomy of aliens and even Carol recognizes his skillfulness with aliens.
Zoidberg initially worked for Mom and he first met Farnsworth on a mission for Mom that involved capturing a Tritonian Yeti. During the mission, the Professor was infected with hypermalaria, which at the time, was thought to be impossible to cure. The Professor saved Zoidberg's life by killing the yeti. In exchange, Farnsworth pleaded that Zoidberg kill him as soon as the symptoms of hypermalaria started, so he wouldn't have to experience the horrible suffering. Zoidberg agreed, leading to his employment at Planet Express in 2961, when it was founded. This story was later brought up when the Professor started showing symptoms and asked Zoidberg to kill him. Things didn’t go according to plan but the Professor was cured eventually. Let's see the hijinks.
In 3001, Zoidberg was filling with male jelly and becoming violent due to the approaching mating season for his species. He went to his home planet to find a mate, and soon became intent on sharing the ritual with his old classmate Edna. Edna was disinterested and more attracted to Fry so Zoidberg challenged Fry to the Decapodian tradition of Claw-Plach. He intended to kill Fry until he noticed the mating ritual had begun without him, so he and Fry returned to Earth as friends again. Despite not pursuing a comedy career, Zoidberg has attempted comedy on multiple occasions. The most successful attempt being the small role he landed in his uncle’s film The Magnificent Three. After a supernova he was accidentally sent back in time to 1947 Roswell where he was captured by the US Army. He met President Harry Truman (it is unclear which of them was more baffled by the other) and was partially vivisected. Before this he was given a ton of free food to his delight. He was rescued by Fry and returned to the future where he put his organs back in (except a non-vital one) and fixed himself with duct tape. When 80s guy took over the company, Zoidberg traded his shares for a sandwich which he ended up eating to his own dismay.
On Freedom Day he ate the Earthican flag which lead to him being put on trial for treason. Things turned out fine in the end but in the meantime he was protected by the Decapodian Embassy which went on to take control of Earth for a while that is until Zoidberg helped defeat his own people. When Professor Farnsworth created a box containing a parallel universe, Zoidberg quickly befriended his parallel counterpart. His counterpart was blue. The two Zoidbergs, fed up with how the crew treats them, stole the box containing our universe and tried to escape into other universes until they were caught by Farnsworth. When everyone on Earth was given a 300 dollar government refund, Zoidberg was inspired to live like a rich person, until he was mocked by Mom for thinking the money had a lot of worth. He eventually spent his money on food for a group of homeless people.
Back to the hypermalaria incident. On the coat, Zoidberg discovers a thin, white, yeti hair, and realizes that the Professor never had hypermalaria, but yetiism, a dangerous disease with identical symptoms to hypermalaria, that turns the victim into a yeti. Shocked by this revelation, Zoidberg escapes and goes to the headquarters of Mom, where he exchanges a coupon for a free tanning session for the disembodied head of a yeti. Zoidberg returns to the Planet Express headquarters just moments before the rest of the crew kill the Professor themselves, (after he revealed the truth to them) Zoidberg reveals to them that the Professor has yetiism, not hypermalaria. Using the pineal gland from the yeti's head, he creates an antidote and forces him to swallow it; just as the yeti transformation begins. The cure was successful, and the rest of the crew apologize to Zoidberg for treating him so poorly. Zoidberg also switched bodies with Fry in the body swapping episode. His behavior as Fry was actually quite in line with Fry’s usual incompetence.
Since he’s a medical doctor, let’s look into his anatomy a bit. A composite of numerous sea creatures, Zoidberg's features have been myriad. The most unique feature is his inability to feel physical pain. An example is in the episode "Roswell that Ends Well", Zoidberg is aware that he is getting dissected without anethesia but he doesn't feel any type of pain as he gets dissected. His known attributes include a removable exoskeleton, a retractable head fin that indicates arousal, aggression, or fear, an ink gland, a "stink gland", a gland that emits foul odors when he's bored, an empathy bladder, a gas bladder, a freshwater stomach, a saltwater stomach, four hearts, a throat that apparently produces psychedelic blue pearls, as well as a "wazoo". This last item is apparently some sort of sex organ, the place where the "male jelly" comes out for the mating of his species. It has been revealed that passing on genetic material is a life terminating event for these lobster people, so while the good doctor once informed Leo Wong that he 'took the liberty of fertilizing his caviar' for him, it remains ambiguous what actually transpired. Along with a "wazoo", Zoidberg also has gonopores, as revealed in Neutopia when everyone's gender is taken away, when he looks in his pants and promptly yells "My gonopores," and then tells everyone to "look it up." Zoidberg reverted through several of the early "larval" life cycle stages of his species after being exposed to a youth tar. He seems to have started off as a small immobile creature from which asexually fragmented "brothers" could separate (each with a distinct personality). A later stage was a parasitic lamprey, followed by a large clam inside which his head was visible. The next oldest form resembled a trilobite. Other stages included a sea urchin and a cuttlefish. Zoidberg is also shown to flee when scared which has been shown so many times that it has become one of his signature attributes.
He really is an inspiration for all the socially awkward people out there. Oh and it turns out this whooping is inspired by one of the Three Stooges.
In the development process for the show, David X. Cohen looked to the original Star Trek series for inspiration. Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy often operated on alien species, so they decided to have an alien doctor that served the human crew and as the series unfolded it became clear that John's medical ability was lacking with humans but highly skilled with aliens, which makes him a spoof of Dr. McCoy. Additionally, Zoidberg's character also took on other running jokes: he became poor, lonely, as well as a failed comedian in addition to being a horrible doctor. Cohen's name for Dr. Zoidberg came from a video game he had developed during the 1980s, called "Zoid", which was largely inspired by the popular arcade game Qix. Cohen tried to get the then famous publisher Brøderbund to publish the game. Unfortunately, Brøderbund refused to publish Cohen's assembly-written game, and he shelved it. Dr. Zoidberg was thus named to honour those wasted years in college. Zoidberg bears a passing resemblance to Lemnoc, an alien that features in the 1967 Lost in Space episode 'The Phantom Family.' The voice for Dr. Zoidberg was developed by Billy West, influenced by actors Lou Jacobi and George Jessel. His voice may also be inspired by reggae/hip-hop singer, Shaggy. As with all Decapodians, Zoidberg's mannerisms, speech, and personality are representative of dry East Coast humor readily seen in Jewish communities. Despite this, he might actually be catholic as we have seen him use the cross before and pray to God. He has been shown to cough up colorful beads after eating copious amounts of dirt, which can be sold to make money. This is only seen in the episode "Bendin' in the Wind". King of jewelery! He has shown infrequent romantic interest in human men, thought this probably means nothing as he is repeatedly unable to differentiate between human genders. King of bisexuality! He may be a fan of Scooby-Doo, as he said "Well gang, it looks like we have another mystery on our hands.", a catchphrase of Fred. King of good taste!
Basically, Zoidberg is a very complex character who only appears to be very simple. I realize this write-up has been very long but if I have to deal with my 11 falling early then y’all can sit through this! Anyway, it’s time to see what you had to say about this legend.
Posh Spears tells us pure facts: “One of the best characters of the series. So hilarious.” Unfortunately for Zoidberg, Posh was the only one of you to leave him some commentary. Because of this, allow me to share my original Zoidberg commentary:
There are a lot of characters from this show that I love but at the end of the day my 11 just had to go to Zoidberg. There is no reason, no reason at all, to hate him. He’s just the most lovable guy there is. His ability to smile in the face of a world that almost always rags on him is goals to be perfectly honest. The lack of love he gets from his fellow characters is justly counterbalanced by all the love he gets from the fans and the internet as a whole. He is the king of memes as far as I’m concerned and any nay-saying opinions are bad and whoever says them should feel bad. I hope that one day all his haters (if they even exist) will be able to open up their hearts and accept the Zoidberg Christ into their lives.
Phew, I really spilled the tea.
We do have one more piece of commentary courtesy of a recently eliminated character which means it’s time for….
The “Morbo” Corner
So what does “Morbo” have to say about his fellow alien?
Were Morbo on his home star, his people would make a savory meal of this creature. DELECTABLE. 4.6 / 10
How about we roast you instead, beast?
And now for the music.
Trying to sum up the great Zoidberg in one song was a difficult task but then it hit me. There is one song out there that fits him very well and is also appropriate because the singer guest starred on the show. The reason the song fits him well is because his fellow cast members see him as a loser but at the same time, he is an absolute classic like this song is. The message of the song might be more bold than Zoidberg usually is, but he can bite back and be as bold as this song is from time to time.
Nn to be fair to myself, I think Zoidberg only made appearance in 2-3 of the episodes that I watched and he didn't impress me that much in those episodes and 4-5 was the score that I gave to characters that I didn't find memorable. The same thing goes for Morbo too. (Plus I didn't know they're popular characters, if I knew I would give them good scores. See my score for Mom for example). I'm starting to think maybe I should've only watched the rate from the sidelines nn.
Fortunately I don't have any low scores left so we (hopefully) won't see @send photo dragging me like the way he dragged a certain someone in a certain rate, kii.
Time for the Whitney gifs.
All jokes aside, there's no real bad blood or anything. Besides, in the end it would be all my fault lol. I thank you and everyone else who voted.
I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Feel free to fight with @send photo though.
Nn, I think our host covered it all. I'm disappointed is all I'll add. You're staying at @Slice of Life's tonight
Am I actually tearing up at this whole write up? His perpetual outsider of a group is something I readily identify with (possibly the most of any character in pop culture), but his optimism, humor and incorrectly analytical nature give a sense of hope to it all. The little joy that can come out of your circumstances should be squeezed for every ounce they can and he does that that.
My friends and Zoidberg?
No! My friend. Zoidberg!
He would've been top 3 after all.
As you saw with the last elimination, we are at the point where 11s are going to be dropping like flies. Our last elimination saw two people lose their 11s (mine included) and we’re about to lose another one.
I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, bitch.
6. Carol Miller aka Mom
(I forgot she had an actual first name let alone a last name. Dddd)
High score: 11 (@munro)
I love Mom, but seeing you lose your 11 right after I lost mine is justice.
(@Island, @Petty Mayonnaise, @ManilaChinchilla, @send photo, @Oleander, @soratami)
Low Score: 5.4 (@PopZeitgeist)
Gird your loins.
My Score: 10
She may be the boss bitch responsible for all the robots in the Futurama universe but unfortunately for Mom, she’s going out of business. She is the definition of a villain (except for her genetic experimentation which helps people) but that’s what makes her so great. I think I said this before, but she is very much like Cruella de Vil in that sense. Technically speaking, she has almost no redeeming qualities but it’s that nastiness that makes her very charming. She pretends to be a sweet and loving grandma-type figure to the public, but that facade ends as soon as the cameras stop rolling. She may be called the “most huggable industrialist” but that is far from the truth. Much like Amy’s parents, she treats her children very poorly but that only adds to the scope of her character and appeal. Unlike Amy’s parents, Mom’s been able to influence her kids as seen in their mimicry of her behavior towards them that they employ among themselves. She can also rock a blue bodysuit like nobody’s business and insult others at the same time.
Mom is most famous for being the CEO of MomCorp and relatively little is known about her life before she became a shareholder of 99.7% of Momcorp, one of the largest industrial conglomerates in the universe.
The remaining 0.3% is split evenly between her three sons Walt, Larry and Igner. A company named "Friendly Robot Company" already existed in 2801, probably later taken over by Mom. However, in 2881 Mom was already constructing the first robots of the first robots, working alongside inventor Hubert J. Farnsworth, who she had an on-again off-again relationship with through many years. These two have interacted with each other multiple times across the series with the most infamous encounter (at least for Mom’s kids) being the Mother’s Day episode where we not only see them hook up, but also see them in the nude. One of the first robots was the highly polluting Sport-Utility Robot (which bears a striking resemblance to bender) created by Farnsworth. In 2927, Mom sent her army (including Farnsworth and Zoidberg) on a yeti-hunting trip to Triton. In 2972, Mom was hired by DOOP to lead the dark matter mining in Vergon 6.
It has been confirmed that Farnsworth is the father of Mom’s youngest son, Igner. It hasn’t been completely confirmed but it is suspected that the father of her two older sons is her other notable lover and former husband, Dr. Wernstrom. Despite having been married before, Mom has claimed that Professor Farnsworth was "the only man I ever loved". As I said above, Mom and Farnsworth got back together in the Mother’s Day episode, but she broke it off when she discovered that, although the Professor's feelings had become genuine, their meeting was a ploy to get the controller to stop the robot rebellion. As such, their conflict continued, and continues to this day. She appears in Bender's Game under the identity "Momon" and eventually becomes a dragon that does battle with Fry, also a dragon.
Mom’s ties to Farnsworth go beyond what I have already mentioned. Farnsworth initially worked for Mom's Friendly Robot Company, where he designed robots for the company as well as toys, such as Q. T. McWhiskers, but Mom's suggestion of turning the toy into a giant superweapon caused Farnsworth to leave her and conflict developed between the former lovers. Farnsworth would later return to Mom's company to work on creating actual robots. At the time robots were stiff moving and not very efficient, however, when Farnsworth sacrificed fuel efficiency, he succeeded at creating a sportier robot, the design for which would be the primary cause of global warming. What caused Farnsworth to leave this time is unknown, but it is likely that it was Mom's evil nature. On a third occasion, Farnsworth was once again at the company with Mom, where he discovered the secret of Dark Matter, around the time where Mom's sons were born. But when Mom revealed her plans to leave Farnsworth for her former husband, the relationship ended again. Surprisingly, as revealed in "The Tip of the Zoidberg", she has a close friendship with Zoidberg, even being on first name terms with him, asking him how he is and regretting that if he'd stayed with her, he could have been rich and successful.
Like I mentioned earlier, Mom is known for portraying a sweeter and more frail elderly persona when addressing the public. However behind this facade is an evil, bitter, malevolent and sometimes maniacal woman, who wants to take over the world. She is often abusive to her sons, slapping them regularly and also says that robots made her "sick to my ass" even though her company makes them. You better not correct her either because she does not take kindly to it. She is also known for doing charity work but secretly caring little for those she helps.
Mom’s influence extends beyond robots, however. She owns many other businesses which makes a variety of products and all this has contributed to her being one of the richest people on Earth. She apparently holds the trademark on the words "Mom", "Love" and "Screen Door". Oh, so that’s where Taylor got the idea to trademark even the most mundane words. Wait…..Momom is famous for having snakes in her hair and being able to turn into an actual snake. Looks like Taylor has a lawsuit coming her way. Moving on, Mom also controls a lot of the oil industry and even sells “old fashioned robot oil.” When Fry revealed he had a can of old sardines, Mom tried to get him to sell them to her because he could have used them to ruin her oil business financially. Luckily for her, Fry had no clue and was simply planning on eating them. Mom’s other famous business endeavor is essentially taking over Apple and selling eyephones at The Mom Store. Let’s take a look:
As you would suspect of a business titan like Mom, she conducts business in an incredibly corrupt way. Carol is not above using criminal or borderlinе criminal methods to accumulate greater profits. She has been known or suspected of using brutal business practices and covert action to eliminate threats from other companies or to keep potential products from the market. She is also obsessed with taking down Planet Express and therefore create a monopoly out of it. This is because Mom also owns delivery and dark matter companies. However, due to the company's willingness to take suicide delivery mission to places where no one dares to go, even the employees of her delivery division, this plan never succeeds. All robots produced by MomCorp have been equipped with a device that allows Carol to force them to do her bidding, although she appears to have used this only once on Mother's Day (holiday) in 3003. She receives yearly Mother's Day gifts and cards from the robots, which she turns into hocus-pocus cures for cancer and orphanage-grade toilet paper respectively.
Now for some final fun facts before I hand over the mic to y’all. Mom is such an integral and iconic character that her factory in the Futurama PS2 game got some pretty cool theme music.
Mom was also featured in one of the episodes I personally adore a great deal, Naturama. She was in the Galapagos tortoise segment as the only remaining female tortoise that ended up mating with tortoise Farnsworth. In Chapek 9, followers of the robot religion Order of the Binary Singularity worship Mom as "Creatrix". In "The Tip of the Zoidberg", Zoidberg reveals that her first name is Carol, though she is nearly always referred to as Mom. Some people have noted that Mom is similar to Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, another Matt Groening cartoon. Burns is cool and all, but Mom is better. Mom has arguably the most exaggerated appearance, in how her body looks and moves when she's not in her dress. Additionally, she is arguably the most vulgar, if only the most creative in her insults and cursing. In the third segment of Anthology of Interest II, she takes the role of the Wicked Witch of the West. Mom's original real name was Edna Miller, named by writer Patric Verrone after his mother. This was revealed by Matt Groening in a Reddit AMA on June 29th, 2017.
soratami notes that: “When a pop girl hits imperial phase at 70.” Psshh she’s always been a Big Pop Gurl and always will be. None of the other ones could ever hope to have her longevity. Her only comparable rival is Madonna. In my original commentary, I said: “The evil mother that you should hate but you actually love. Her ability to hold a grudge and sabotage is unmatched. Sorry Taylor.” No lies spotted. Our final piece of commentary comes from Mom’s biggest fan, munro. Here’s what he had to say: “Hunny she’s serving those judges some versatility with different silhouettes and personas, she was so amazing, I lived for her 100%.” I know when to give credit when credit is due, so let me say that your commentary is 100% spot on. However, let me also add that despite loving Mom, I love seeing you lose your 11 and can’t wait to see your reaction when you read this. Basically...
Ok now for the music!
As has been stated multiple times in this write-up, Mom is famous for serving multiple personas and lewks. I naturally drew on these traits when choosing the song that would represent her. I decided on “Little Bird” by fellow superstar Annie Lennox. The main reason I chose this song is because the music video shows Annie interacting with several Lennox lookalikes dressed as the many different personas that Lennox has used in her videos (both solo and as part of Eurythmics) over the past decade as they perform with Lennox herself in a Cabaret-esque setting. The music videos referenced by the personas include:
"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)"
"There Must Be an Angel (Playing with My Heart)"
"Thorn in My Side"
"Beethoven (I Love to Listen To)"
"I Need a Man"
"Walking on Broken Glass"
The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert
I proudly present your Top 5 Futurama characters!
Philip J. Fry
Bender Bending Rodriguez
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
NAWT Hypnotoad scamming their way into the Top 5! Joanne The Scammer could never!
Aw thanks! It's always nice to see my writing make people feel something. I agree 100%, obviously. In many ways Zoidberg is what every outsider wants to because he is the ultimate outsider but never lets that think negatively of himself for very long. Plus, he even managed to find a wonderful love interest. He might have lost his Top 3 spot but he will forever live on in internet culture so at the end of the day, he really did overcome everything (including this rate) and won. Long live Zoidberg!
You rated a 7-seasons long show based off 3 episodes...?
Mom missing the top 5 is homophobic.
Hypnotoad really has us all brainwashed.
I’ll allow this purely because she beat your fave x
The time has come to cut the first member of our Top 5 and I’m sure that they aren’t going to be happy about it. I for one am happy about this result if only because this character not only failed to garner a single 11 but also doesn’t really deserve to be here……
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!
Sorry, but your mind tricks aren't going to save you this time.
5. The Hypnotoad
High Score: 10
(@Island, @Petty Mayonnaise, @ManilaChinchilla, @send photo, @Oleander, @munro, @soratami)
Low Score: 5 (@Alouder98)
My Score: 10
He may have hypnotized his way into the Top 5, but even his great power wasn’t enough to secure a win. Out of all the remaining characters he might be the one with the least amount of screentime, but I bet most people who have seen the show will be able to quickly name Hypnotoad as one of the characters. I’m not just saying that just because, Hypnotoad has permeated internet culture in many ways. Or because I employed a bevy of Hypnotoad gifs when I was doing "promo" for this rate. Aside from being a TV icon both in and out of the series, Hypnotoad is one of the biggest memes that has come from Futurama. You can easily find mountains upon mountains of Hypnotoad memes, gifs, and videos out there. The Hypnotoad meme is used as an interrupter of sorts. Its usage usually involves it being mentioned in a sentence, which is abruptly interrupted in the middle with ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD. It’s so prevalent that one of the Futurama wiki pages has that phrase used across Hypnotoad’s page. Is Hypnotoad meant to be a commentary on the gullibility of citizens within capitalist society that is demonstrated through the universal praise and acceptance of a toad with mind control powers? Is he meant to remind us that we are all sheep that can easily be herded? No one really knows.What we do know is that you better not mess with Hypnotoad when he is on the air because he will make you pay for it.
Hypnotoad has some incredibly powerful hypnotic powers, as we all know. His powers are so great that he can actually hypnotize an entire crowd of humans with his oscillating eyes and signature buzzing noise. Hypnotoad has used his powers to become an Earthican celebrity through his two hit TV shows, Everybody Loves Hypnotoad and the spin-off, Hypnotoad on Ice. Yes, Everybody Loves Raymond was an inspiration for the show’s name. Not only is Hypnotoad the star of these two shows, he also writes, directs, and produces both programs. Everybody Loves Hypnotoad is the most popular TV show in the future and for good reason, it is nothing but high quality programming. The only known episode of Everybody Loves Hypnotoad is "Amazon Adventure" (which appeared on the DVD release of Bender's Big Score). In the episode, we see the Hypnotoad hypnotizing us the entire time. Every few minutes there is an establishing shot of an exterior of a building, implying the location has changed, though the background of the main action is always plain white. Though little changes throughout, at one point there is gunfire, as well as a brief visit to the city. There is also what appears to be a flashback sequence, featuring a smaller Hypnotoad with a higher-pitched drone. It is also implied that the Hypnotoad is dating. Let’s take a break from this elimination to watch the show:
We have actually seen Hypnotoad broadcast in settings other than his classic white background and the first time we saw him, was actually outside of his show. He first appeared on Futurama competing in a pet show which also featured Nibbler and Zoidberg as contestants. Hypnotoad used his powers to herd sheep and that ended up getting him first place. The origins of Hypnotoad are unknown, but it is speculated that it is an alien, mutant or a product of genetic engineering. It would also appear that it is the only one of its kind on Earth. However, it is possible that a creature similar in design to the Hypnotoad found on Kif Kroker's homeworld is part of its ancestry
From that point forward, Hypnotoad made short appearances throughout the series on TV. Hypnotoad’s image was shown in the V-GINY, which suggests it is censorable,one of its webisodes featured on the eyePhone, and Hypnotoad On Ice interrupted by breaking news on Hedonismbot’s bachelor party. With no relevance to the story, it was seen in Everybody Loves Hypnotoad numerous times. We’ve also seen that when a TV show like All My Circuits has problems, Hypnotoad is used to fill the air time. Hypnotoad obviously couldn’t be contained to the series, so he was used as the star of the Futurama freemium mobile game, Worlds of Tomorrow. Here’s a short synopsis of the game:
In 3017, the Hypnotoad hypnotized Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, making him order the Planet Express crew to take him to Amphibios 9. Once there, the Hypnotoad commenced his buzzing noise, making hypnowaves that revealed the female hypnotoad from a perpendicular universe. The universe was pulled into the hypnowaves, but Lord Nibbler saved Philip J. Fry from being sucked in as well. Fry worked with Nibbler, then later Professor Farnsworth, to restore New New York and the rest of Earth, as well as the other planets in the universe.
And here’s the intro of the game.
The noise used when Hypnotoad is onscreen is an auditory notice played when a button is pressed erroneously in the editing program the show uses, a product from Avid. An unnamed editor, most likely audio editor Paul Calder, titled it Angry Machine and looped it for the Hypnotoad. It was originally a temporary sound, but the audience and staff both liked it. It is possible that Hypnotoad uses the delta brainwave to hypnotize people. This is evident when Fry, the only person who lacks the brainwave, was capable of commenting on Everybody Loves Hypnotoad by saying "This show has been going downhill since season 3" and everyone else seemed to like it. The Hypnotoad also happens to be one of Matt Groening’s favorite characters and has made cameos in the Guillermo del Toro-directed opening to The Simpsons' "Treehouse of Horror XXIV" and in the episode "The Kid is All Right".
It can be presumed the Hypnotoad has a kid(s) and an ex-wife according to a brief look at the whiteboard in The Thief of Bagland, one of the first photos the poperatzo are suppose to take is a case related to "Hypnotoad Paternity Suit.” It’s obviously all a ploy to try and tarnish Hypnotoad’s reputation. Despite his on-show origins being foggy, in actuality, Hypnotoad might have been inspired by the V-frogs from Isaac Asimov's novel Lucky Starr and the Oceans of Venus. They are frog like, three legged creatures who can control the emotions of those around them, mostly serving as a defense mechanism against predators. A trance like that of the Hypnotoad is also possible when large numbers of V-frogs are working together. Due to their emotional control, they are extremely popular as pets. As I mentioned earlier in the rate, there was a real-life Futurama fan film that was made. Hypnotoad obviously had to be part of it which means a real-life Hypnotoad was constructed had to be constructed. So before we get to the commentary, let’s see how this real-life Hypnotoad was made:
soratami demonstrates the power of the Toad by switching back and forth between scores: “12 No, actually 10.” I’m glad you managed to break through the hypnosis. In my original commentary, I said: “I am a big fan but you can’t hypnotize me into giving you a 10. Not today satan, not today.” Clearly, that didn’t work. Part-time high scorer and full-time thorn in my side, munro says: “I’m probably ironically stanning but do I care? No.” Well, you weren’t the only one it seems.
“Morbo” may be out of the running, but he stay has something to say which means it’s time for….
The “Morbo” Corner
So what low score is “Morbo” ready to bestow on Hypnotoad?
Morbo will not be fooled by- ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD. 10 / 10
Oh, wow. I guess even the mighty “Morbo” was too weak to resist Hypnotoad. Looks like I was right to judge you for having a big head and inflated ego. You’re a weak bitch, “Morbo.”
And now for the music…….
No! That is enough, Hypnotoad! You have be eliminated fair and square so take your amphibious ass out of here already! Sorry about that. I guess some people are just sore losers.
As we all know, Hypnotoad is famous for being able to turn people and animals into mindless slaves by getting into their heads and not letting them escape until he wants them to. Taking all this into account, I figured this song and video would be the perfect match for Hypnotoad.
Our four remaining contestants are all here because they are legends and the four main pillars of the series. Naturally you’d assume that they all snagged 11s and if this rate was bigger, that might have been the case. Unfortunately for one of our four titans, they failed to receive an 11 and thus their 4th place finish was sealed. It’s a real shame this character didn’t get an 11 but at least they can rest easy knowing that they got nothing but good scores.
4. Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
High Score: 10
(@Island, @Petty Mayonnaise, @ManilaChinchilla, @Oleander, @soratami)
Low Score: 8
(@send photo, @Posh Spears, @munro)
He’s the perpetual bringer of good news (that isn’t really good) but I guess we were too collectively negative to accept it with open arms. Despite constantly sending his crew on missions that endanger their lives, they stick by him and so do the fans. By all accounts he is a mad scientist but at the same time, we could never hate him because he is our mad scientist. What I mean by that is that Farnsworth almost feels like the kooky grandfather we all wish we had. He would without a doubt make our lives more exciting and dangerous. That’s essentially what he is to Fry despite the actual logistics of their familial ties being more complicated than that. This type of portrayal of a scientist isn’t a concept unique to Futurama but they clearly did it the best. Rick from Rick & Morty could never! Don’t worry Rick, maybe one day you will overtake Farnsworth. A man can dream, after all. A man can dream.
Farnsworth is currently at the ripe old age of 176 and is just as crotchety and forgetful as you’d expect a man of that age to be. He’s so old in fact, that he happens to be the oldest living member of the Academy of Inventors. He has his problematic qualities and a big ego but unlike the most majority of old white men, Farnsworth can actually back of his claims of being intelligent and has a multitude of redeemable and charming qualities, as well. He is the master of 30th century robotics and is a professor of quantum burrito meals quantum neutrino fields at Mars University. Farnsworth is also an inventor of both useful and impractical things, some of which are extremely dangerous, such as his Doomsday devices. He also has an obsession with creating atomic monsters, which he successfully accomplished in the Globetrotters’ debut episode with grave repercussions. He’s not all brains, though. He is also an honorary Globetrotter. Brains and brawn? Those losers on the Big Bang Theory could never! He’s also a bit of a thug, in case you forgot.
Farnsworth's name comes from Philo Farnsworth, who invented the television. In addition, his first name, Hubert, may come from Eric Kaplan's former professor, Hubert Dreyfus. The only thing his name has in common with the name of Philip J. Fry is the unsettled "J." as their middle initial, but this may just be a common joke Matt Groening sets for his characters. Along with unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally) sending his crew on death missions, Farnsworth is known for following up his statements with completely contradictory statements. Despite denying that he is a mad scientist, he certainly has the maniacal laugh down.
Farnsworth also enjoys public nudity, has disrobed numerous times on the series, and may have even been convicted for exposing himself in public. His urge to undress becomes much greater around Xmas. He’s also a known lover of ultra porn. In line with his senility, he’s also not afraid to tell people what he thinks of them. One of the most frequent recurring gags in the show is that Farnsworth says/acts something but immediately the truth was that his intentions were the opposite compared to how it seemed. He also has a flair for melodrama, particularly when things don’t go the way he planned.
Now onto his……….complicated life growing up.
Farnsworth was born in a prison in the nerdiest slum of New New York, Hell’s Laboratory. He has one brother, Floyd, who went on to go to clown college. Hubert’s parents even confused the two at one point. Hubert enjoyed his teenage years as a nerd with an affection for role-playing games. After 14 years of graduate school, Farnsworth became a scientist and designed such things as fast cars, trendy night spots and beautiful women, all out of his one-room apartment. Evidence suggests that he may also have been a hippie and a disco boy, possibly during graduate school. In The Near Death-Wish, it is revealed that Hubert spent 25 years in a mental institution at the behest of his parents. He also wore a diaper far longer than most kids do. Let me just take this as my opportunity to say that I love the episode about Farnsworth’s parents and the ending is one of the most touching moments of the series.
By 2900 Farnsworth had taken a teaching position at Mars University where his most promising student was an up and coming young science undergrad named Ogden Wernstrom. Sadly, the two had a falling out over a pop-quiz score which lead to Wernstrom's hundred year quest for revenge. While retaining a role at the university, Hubert assisted Unit 47 in curing the posy infestation and was eventually hired at Mom's Friendly Robot Company, staying there for the next fifty years. During this time his inventiveness lead to the creation of many new products and breakthrough technologies, such as the use of Dark Matter as fuel, the first robot capable of qualifying for a boat loan and a sport-utility robot, the design of which would become the basis of all robots running in the early 31st century. During this time, Farnsworth also has many creations he deemed failures as well as many actual failures. It was during this time he also began an on-again, off-again relationship with Mom, the owner of the company, who was having a similar relationship with Wernstrom. By the end of this period, Mom had fallen pregnant with their child, a secret she would keep from him for many years. While on a mission for Mom in 2927 on Triton, Farnsworth contracted Yetiism and was only cured in 3011 in the Planet Express headquarters by Dr Zoidberg.
After numerous tries with Mom, and with a need for money to fund his research, he founded Planet Express, an interstellar delivery company, on 2961. He hired his friend of 34 years, Dr. John A. Zoidberg as the company's staff doctor. Hermes Conrad was hired as the company's bureaucrat some time later. In 2998, Amy Wong entered the company as an engineering intern, but has since remained in the company for several years. Also in his employ is Scruffy, the company janitor who lives in the basement of Planet Express. Farnsworth has had numerous crews, whom he frequently sends to their doom. As a result many have died horribly or gone missing; the first crew hired were swallowed by a Four-dimensional space whale. Shortly after one such instance, late on the 31st of December 2999, he learned that he was not the last surviving member of his family. His long lost and far removed uncle, Philip J. Fry, had just been defrosted. Fry, Turanga Leela and Bender Bending Rodríguez were hired early the next morning and have been his longest surviving crew, who despite 12 years in the company remain alive.
As a member of the Academy of Inventors, the Professor has created many things. Often these don't live up to his expectations and are ridiculed by his fellow inventors. Occasionally, however, they can help save the day; the Smell-O-Scope for instance was laughed at by colleagues and Wernstrom had his revenge by giving it a poor grade, shortly afterward it detected a giant ball of garbage in space that was on a collision course with New New York. After the Planet Express crew averted the crisis, Wernstrom once more announced a thirst for revenge. In fact, let’s look at some of the marvelous things Farnsworth has created over the years:
Adolf Hitler Shark
Albino Shouting Gorillas
Bacterial Spew Chamber
Bad-Ass Gravity Pump
Chamber of Understanding
Colossal Tammy-Tinkle Doll
Cubert Farnsworth, technically
Dark Matter Afterburner
Dark Matter Engines
A Device That Makes Anyone Sound Like Farnsworth
Flabbo-dynamic spandex bodysuit
First Robot capable of qualifying for a boat loan
Galactic Terminatrix 3000
Lady Neck Protector
Makeup for Dogs
Neck Protector Jr.
Parallel Universe Box
Planet Express Ship
Pointy Rock Tied to a Stick
Q. T. McWhiskers
Trendy Night Spots
After his 150th birthday party, Hubert realised that he had no one to continue his work when he is gone. After days hidden in the lab, he emerged announcing that the clone he'd been growing the past twelve years would be his heir. Unfortunately, Cubert did not want to follow in his footsteps. Farnsworth finally decided that his life was over, and revealed his actual age, 160, the age at which Sunset Squad Robots would come and take him away to the Near Death Star. Soon after a rescue by his crew, Cubert finally decided to carry on with Farnsworth's research. He later went on to take over Planet Express with the paper delivery business he created with Dwight, but this all fell through the cracks due to poor management. The company would later be taken over by 80s Guy and by The Scammers because Farnsworth unwittingly signed a document transferring ownership of Planet Express to them, thinking it was a form to accept the money from a Spanish lottery. The business was eventually recovered on both occasions. One of the most fruitful feuds Farnsworth has (aside from his feuds with Mom and Wernstrom) is his is with Dr. Banjo over the legitimacy of evolution. Let’s watch their fight:
When a heatwave hits and the usual method to counteract global warming fail, the Professor is forced to admit that all modern robots are descended from his designs, which produce lots of pollution. The scientists at the conference plan to destroy the robots is soon thwarted and Hubert received a medal for saving the planet and its robots. About a week later after his staff decided that he had become too old, they took him to The Bubbling Geezer a visit that resulted in everyone becoming younger. The eventual resolution of this situation took them to the Fountain of Aging, where the waters made him "even older" than he had been. Over the years, Farnsworth's feud with Wernstrom continued to grow, and when an anomaly forms a short distance from the Earth the pair compete in Deathball to decide who will investigate. After Farnsworth's investigation proved unsuccessful the pair found themselves united for the first time since the pop quiz as they collaborated in research together, protested and shared a prison cell. But their new found friendship fell apart once more following an inter-universe relationship with Yivo.
When Mom faked a dark matter shortage in 3008 in order to increase the price of dark matter worldwide, Farnsworth finally told the tale of how he discovered it, and decided to end it all, so that scientists could spend their time on developing cleaner fuels, such as Whale Oil. Farnsworth managed to enter Mom's dark matter mine in Alaska, which turned out to be a Nibblonian farm, where Mom had kept Nibblonians imprisoned for years to produce dark matter. However, with the help of his crew and his long lost son Igner, Farnsworth managed to bring the crystals close enough together to render dark matter useless. After converting to whale oil and receiving a few bribes for scientific endorsements, he joined the rest of the crew on a journey into a wormhole. Although most of the crew were killed as the ship crashed into Earth in early 3010, he survives and brings them back to life.
While his relationship with Mom has certainly been his largest, it has not been his only one. During a brief period of regaining the appearance of youth using stem cells from GeneWorks, S.K.G., he found a girl willing to date him, although she also turned out to have used her tax rebate for a belly ring to make her appear thinner. There was also a brief fling with Hattie while they were on the Titanic. However since then, Hattie seems to hold a strong hatred towards him; accusing him of being a "cat hater". In the episode "Proposition Infinity", it is shown that the Professor had a 40 year long relationship with a woman whom he met before Mom. This woman cheated on the Professor with a robot which caused the Professor's hatred towards robossexual couples. It was also later revealed that that woman was herself a robot, and her name was Unit 47. There’s also the whole mess caused by the body swap episode where he slept with Zoidberg. His other big relationship is the one he has with his distant great-uncle and great-grandfather, Fry. As we’ve seen numerous times, Farnsworth does not shy away from telling Fry how stupid he is. He kept this mockery up until the very end of the show. Despite this, it’s clear that deep down in that old heart of his, Farnsworth does care for Fry. They’ve had many great moments together but one of my personal favorites is the Da Vinci episode due to Farnsworth getting a taste of his medicine by being seen as an idiot.
Much like his long list of inventions, Farnsworth actually has more than one catchphrase. Originally, the professor's catchphrase was going to be "...though I am already in my pajamas." This was only used in the first and second episodes. The professor's basic catchphrase is "Good news, everyone!" The phrase is used so frequently that it was already possible to joke about it in the seventh episode. He also occasionally refers to "Zombie Jesus" either by saying "Sweet Zombie Jesus" or "Holy Zombie Jesus". When he is spoken to or asked a question, he also commonly says "Eh-wha?" This is used often to emphasize his senility and hearing loss. Occasionally, he will say something along the lines of "What in ________ happened?!" For instance, "What in Sega Genesis happened to you?!" or "What in Satan's glorious name is going on here?!" Another "catchphrase" used by the Professor is "Oh My..." Farnsworth also likes to use the phrase "Fuff" as a way of saying "Forget it" or "It was nothing" or "Baloney". Furthermore, he likes to dismiss other people's opinions by saying "Quiet, you!", often to people who have just actually contributed something useful to a discussion. The last catchphrase used by the Professor is the classic "Wernstrom!" I like to think that "Dinkleberg!" is a reference to Farnsworth, but it might not be. “Good news, everyone!” and “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore” have arguably become his most famous catchphrases due to their massive popularity as memes.
Being a scientist, Hubert is an active defender of scientific progress and education, as well as is prone to be aggressive towards anyone who express esoteric or religious viewpoints that contradicts his own opinion: as evident in "The Thief of Baghead" when he angrily claimed that life-force isn't the same as an ethereal soul (though he seems to not known the difference between one another, if any) and in "A Clockwork Origin", Hubert claimed that anyone that believes in creaturism over evolution to be ignorant and went as far as to leave Earth when they refused to listen and see his theories and archaeological evidences. Despite this, Hubert is far from being Atheist. Rather, his spiritual faith seems to change from episode to episode, but (and peharps due to it) is generally a liberal one. In "The Farnsworth Parabox", when one of his experiments goes awry and nearly killed him, he starts to desperately scream for help and shouts to several deities of different religions to do so, at one time asking Satan to save him because he owes him one, in another episode, he says "Hail Science" with 666 across his forehead. In Hell Is Other Robots, Hubert claimed that Vodoo and Oprahism are mainstream religions and expresses interest in them. In "Möbius Dick", when he comes to the conclusion that his crew has died on their mission, he decided to pray to Isis.
Because Farnsworth has had so many great moments, too many to describe in detail, I figured we could watch this reel of his best moments.
Now for some select bits of trivia about Farnsworth.
There are only two episodes of the show in which the Professor does not appear: "The Why of Fry" and "Where No Fan Has Gone Before" (which are consecutive). The Professor's eyes have never been shown to the audience in the main television series, even when his glasses are removed. So far, the only time they have been seen is in the comic book story, "Downsized!", but it is unknown if the reveal was authorized by Matt Groening. His bank account number is 299792458, which is the speed of light in meters per second. He is probably the oldest living human on Earth, excluding the heads in jars and people who were cryogenically frozen, because of his escape from the Near Death Star, although his time traveling would make him, chronologically, much, much older. The Professor is assumed to be the descendant of Yancy Fry Jr. and his wife. However, in the storyboard for "Space Pilot 3000", the Professor is suggested to be descended from Fry's sister and a presumed brother-in-law named Eddie Farnsworth. Both Fry's sister and Eddie Farnsworth were later cut from the the show altogether. In an episode of Phineas & Ferb, a character's full name is given as Hubert Farnsworth. Talk about impact! The voice of the character is most likely modeled after the character of Professor Julius Kelp (Jerry Lewis) in the Nutty Professor (1963).
Ok time for the commentary!
In my original commentary for Farnsworth, I said that he is: “THE mad scientist and creator of one of the best memes ever, “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.” Talk about relatable. The episodes about his parents are very nice. I also really like the Leonardo da Vinci episode. The inversion of da Vinci and Farnsworth’s status as geniuses was great.” Professional hater munro says: “He looks like an animated version of my Grandad and I was convinced that it was him as a child, he still makes fun of me for it.” Aw, that’s so sweet. Let me be merciful for once and not drag you. Consider it a late Xmas gift.
Unfortunately, that’s all the commentary we have for this legend so let’s dive right into some music.
This was one of the easiest choices out of the whole rate for me to make. The idea of a mad scientist has existed for as long as science has been recognized and embraced by humans (probably) so there are many ways I could have gone with this song choice. However, there is one song out there that was screaming out to be used and I couldn’t say no to it. Y’all know which song it is so let me not go into a whole spiel about it, let’s just listen to this 2000s classic.
I’d also like to share this lovely cover Corinne Bailey Rae did for the Fifty Shades series because it is very, very good.
This means that Fry, Leela, and Bender are your Top 3 Futurama characters! Despite all the messiness and drama we have seen across the reveals, this result feels.........right. Good job, everyone!
Separate names with a comma.