= #401 (12/22) 2004 | Namco | PS2 | Sport 7 Points: @Squashua Squashua: I don’t do sports but if there was to be one it would be rhythmic gymnastics. If there was a back-up it would be living the dream as a top seed on the tennis circuit touring the world and winning sponsorship deals against my loser basic becky rivals so I can colour-coordinate my racquet to my bag to my skirt (because NO WAY was I playing this and not being the young brazen ingenue of the WTA). That’s exactly what Smash Court Tennis: Endless Naming Buzzwords the Second offered you as a player. Want to spend more time tweaking your hairstyles and blouses? Perfect, because with in-match goals, you only ever have to play a couple of games a match so can quickly get back to the Tennis shop with all your barely-fought prize earnings. Love stats but don’t know any actual tennis players? Amazing, because aside from the Williams sisters neither does the game instead conjuring up a load of mis-mashed sims-esque players with bonkers names (My rival was always the dreaded Vandecaveye – that clay court favouring heaux) for you to leap over in the Rankings as you win yet another competition with a swish of your high ponytail. Seriously though this really had one of the best, most user-friendly career modes in any sports game I’ve ever played, balancing actual play time with the good managerial stuff that actually makes it feel like you’re running your own little schedule of super stardom. Should I hit the hard court challenger series in East Asia because I’ll win easy money or burn myself out but get a new snazzy pink polo shirt if I get to a later stage over in Flushing Meadows? Your girl Zenith Ace will do anything for a new polo binch move out of my strikezone.