20BiTeen The Rate:: Hello..It's Cutlery

Here is a quote to reflect on:

“If I wait for someone else to validate my existence, it will mean that I’m shortchanging myself.”

– Zanele Muholi


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103. "Stuck" by Katie Dey
7.01
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Number One Fans: 10 x (@Trouble in Paradise @fatyoshi @ohnostalgia) 9.5 x 1 (@Cutlery)
This Goes Away and They Don't Mind: 3 x 2 (@Lost Boy @dontkillmyvibe) 4 x 1 (@BeingNormal)
My Score: 10

Previous Positions:
5 Voters: 26
10 Voters: 97 (that decline)
15 Voters: 108
20 Voters 107

I was born inside this body, now I'm stuck here

I never heard of Katie Dey until I was compiling artists for this rate but boy did “Stuck” knock me off my feet. I mean those opening lines! Followed by the rest of the song’s lyrics!? Can you say wig? I actually can’t say wig without cringing but I will say WOW! Dey is an Australian bedroom pop artist who was responsible for the writing, playing, programming, and production of this whole album! That’s what I call talent! Obviously with doing all that work, this can take time as she explained:

It's been three years since your last album. How long ago did you start working on Solipsisters?

Some of the songs were written a long time ago -- "stuck" was written in 2011, I think. I started recording it in 2016. There were lots of long gaps scattered over the last three years where I was totally unable to do any work. A lot of these lyrics were written so long ago that I feel totally detached from them, which might be good. It's hard to feel proud of the songs I've started and actually work on them instead of writing new stuff. It's so hard for me to work consistently. Opening the projects — double clicking on that file — that's the hardest part.​

“It’s so hard for me to work consistently” is a big mood, especially in lockdown. The amount of tabs open, far too many. It’s also telling that “Stuck” and other songs were recorded with distance from when they were written given how vulnerable their subject matter is. Dey spoke about her use of vocal processing and the way that changed for Solipsters:

You've sung with distinctive vocal effects in the past. Do you use similar processing techniques on Solipsisters?

It's definitely evolved. It's the same plug-ins and pitch-shifting stuff. I feel like I've learned to work with it a bit more. I don't feel a whole lot of attachment to my own voice. Originally, it was a way of relieving dysphoria and making my own music more palatable for me to listen to so that it didn't upset me — like putting an Instagram filter on your face. I wasn't trying to make some kind of statement, and it wasn't an artistic decision — it was really just for my own well-being. I'm not destroying my voice as heavily as I used to. That might be something to do with dysphoria lessening, or maybe wanting to be a little bit more understood. I guess I'm feeling a little less ashamed of my lyrics. I never used to think that I was all that good at them. I tried to make it so that they weren't the focal point.

For this album, I'm including a lyric sheet, which I've never done before. As I get older, I'm more desperate to actually communicate effectively with people. In the past, I always tried to be like, "There's these feelings I feel that I literally just can't put into words, and I'm going to try to make them into songs." I'd communicate sublingually through these weird sounds that I make — but that wasn't working out, so I figured I'd try to be more legible​

I adore all of the vocal manipulation on the album and “Stuck” in particular, but I do love that she let her vocals shine. I also find this whole quote to be such an incredible example of artistry and the power of creating art. To have actual documentation of how your dysphoria and your desire to be understood by others has changed over time is wicked cool!

Speaking of wicked cool, isn’t it great to have an artist sing so openly about body struggles. I know I’m not alone in the everlasting mental battle of being a mind constrained in a physical body. Katie spoke about that personal theme:

A lot of Solipsisters grapples with the relationship between the self and the body. Did making the album and airing out these themes help you approach some kind of resolution?

It was definitely about working through that — trying to be clearer about what the argument was between my self and body. I don't think I'll ever reach any kind of resolution, but it definitely was a working through of that conflict. Originally, the album was supposed to be this dialogue between soul and body, or between different parts of myself: my heart and my brain. It ended up not making any sense, so I abandoned that, but a lot of the lyrics still are about this conversation. There's not many references to other human beings. There's a lot of "you" and "me" and "we", but it's really all just about me, because I was so totally alone while I was writing these songs. You end up talking to yourself a lot if you're isolated. The last line on the album is "Moving closer to a place for us to live." I don't think I have found anywhere to live. I'm still just moving.
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Given the way SOPHIE and her vocal processed songs went in the previous rate, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised this didn't make it passed the 100 mark, but it still stings! Also how did I end up writing about my body struggles in the past few eliminations? I guess its just another joy of being queer!

Speaking of joy, @daninternational sparked joy for me with his commentary: LGBTQ content is often a lot more specific and angsty, which makes it all the better, but also less accesible for those on the outside of the specific focus. The video helps a lot with this song, I can understand the importance of it with this context.

As did @Untouchable Ace with his: Lovely hair.

And yes we've already broken the 7 average before the Top 100! Tomorrow we'll go back to the main albums for another cut, one I particularly don't agree with!

 

Trust, Tami T haters will be put on record and shamed. This song is great and with the pitch and processed vocals she actually reminds me a lot of St. Vincent when she does ad-libs. I haven't had the time to check out the album it comes from but with the few lines from Katie Dey in the write-up, I'm given a good synopsis of it, I feel so interested now. As I too feel drawn to writing for myself and with the slight detachment from these songs she's had sitting around for many years, I also feel that so much. Here's to hoping both Dey and I change for the better

 

Shame, but as a musical composition it didn't really do it for me... queer music is so hard to rate sometimes

 

I, uh... that wasn't on purpose. I don't know how that happened. I think I was idly playing Spiritfarer (stream, buy, stan) when I did the initial scores on my phone, it must've been a typo/autocorrect mishap that I never clocked, ff.

And to eulogize miss Dey, let's revisit this iconic string of tweets.





Hope we get to see some of (what's going on with) Mydata next year, Happiness is lovely.

 

A queer meme for the holidays!

102. "Keep Them Close Cause They Will Fuck You Too" by Tegan and Sara
7.02
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Number One Fans: 9.25 x 1 (@Music Is Death) 9 x 1 (@TéléDex )
This Goes Away and They Don't Mind: 3 x 1 (@Cutlery) 4 x 1 (@Lost Boy
My Score: 8

Previous Positions:
5 Voters: 79
10 Voters: 89
15 Voters: 93
20 Voters 102

I'm missing you
I'm still missing you​

Okay, I think we can all agree that this leaving now is a CRIME. Honestly the majority of voters enjoyed this song ranking it between 7 to 8.5 but the lack of 9+ scores and those two tasteless heathens brought it down. I'm trying to be happy that in such a wacky rate (where we've already seen Tegan and Sara mistreated) this at least has a solid 7 average. But still, this out before some of the more basic extras? And literally anything by Muna including "Grow" (which isn't my lowest Muna score)!? I blame it being in the later half of the album where most of y'all probably made your mind up about the album.

I'll be honest, I didn't have any sort of write up prepared for this. I guess, despite it's slow plummet down the scoreboard, I couldn't believe it'd be out now? Like the emotion of this song just tears me up. You have such earnest lyrics like Sitting here tonight, I'm thinking those simple thoughts/ Hoping that you're happy now, happy with what ya got" followed by the smack in the face simplicity of the chorus. Given the concept of this record, this song just nails it. As they explained to Billboard:

“While working on our memoir, we discovered lost cassette tapes that had been unheard for over 20 years,” Tegan Quin said in a statement. “They contained dozens of our first songs, written between the ages of 15 and 17...we immediately recognized the songs as an essential part of our high school story.

Tegan and Sara began re-recording their unreleased songs in April of this year, adding small tweaks to the lyrics and music but keeping the "essence" of each song intact. “This is the record we never could have made as teenagers, full of songs we never could have written as adults," the pair added.​

These lyrics could only be written by a teenager pretending to have distance from the heartbreak of their life and knowing, somehow knowing without knowing, that there will be a day where what you want for the person whose causing you all this fucking heartbreak is happiness. Honestly, I'm kicking myself that I gave away the memoir (though happy more people will read it and hopefully listen to Tegan and Sara) cause the themes in this song are all over the relationships in the book.


The only piece of commentary was this defense from my betrayer and backup host @Cutlery : This holds one kind of concert-ready, hand wave along, fabricated sentimentalism to it in the phrasing, the tempo and the melody. Yet it sounds like an unpolished demo that needed some more time on the woodwork . I'm not a fan.

You're lucky I'm such a fan of your graphics!!

 

i want 'best start believin in transes missy' to be my new middle name

 

Any guesses as to what will be the last song to just miss the Top 100? The only hint I'll give is that it's thankfully not a Tegan and Sara song!

 

I just hope we leave the main albums alone for a bit.

 

Can we have an update list on the first page please, Trouble?

 

Let me check my friday night plans and see if I'll have time to get it together!

My Friday night plans since March:

 

Poor it! My only guess is that a m*n is leaving at #101

 

I hope it's Art School Girlfriend

 

Grow? Or if it's an extra, I still have a few sub-6 scores left, so I'd be happy with any of those.

 

For any given elimination myself or for you.

 

In a shocking twist i more or less dive headfirst into manic Christmas love this evening. The amount of money spent at Michaels , far too much. I’m now in a very decorated apartment but high as balls so maybe tomorrow we’ll pull a weekend double elimination

Xoxox

Spoiler: Hot goz

a make extra goes next

Y’all have been spot on btw

 

Mine since... always ddd now I'm just doing it at home instead of a restaurant ddd.

Anyway I came here to say that Number One Fan is killing me on this Saturday morning.

 

So many of the artists we're rating here have been inspired by the countless trailblazing queer acts that came before them! For today's elimination, we have a song from Ricky Martin who has been one of the most high profile out artists in music and particularly Spanish-language music! He let us all in in 2010.

101. "Por Un Beso" by Luis Gamarra
7.05
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Number One Fans: 9.2 x 1 (@Untouchable Ace) 9 x 4(@Music Is Death @Lost Boy @daninternational @fatyoshi)
This Goes Away and They Don't Mind: 4 x 2 (@ohnostalgia @LE0Night)
My Score: 7.5

Previous Positions:
5 Voters: 65
10 Voters: 77
15 Voters: 80
20 Voters 92 (the absolute hit job of receiving your lowest score back to back from the last two voters!)

Sabes lo que soy capaz de hacer
Por un beso tuyo​

Our second and final Spanish-language song falls right outside the Top 100! I was delighted to find that Luis Gamarra is currently Boston based as I dug to find more info on him and his music (He's going to Berklee!). He is originally from Bolivia His song "Libre" was made the official song for Bolivian Pride this year. I'll admit this was definitely a fun bop for me that was lifted by the ease of its hook and the fact that it was an out guy singing it. While I'm sad it didn't make Top 100 for the language representation, I'm happy it got a nice lil 7 average and 5 9+ scores!

Gamarra also just gives off the vibe that he's a great person! As his Spotify bio makes clear, he wants to use his music to "change the world" and I really connected to his desire to exist out and proud in a genre that can bristle at "nontraditional" takes. I had a great time watching a short interview on Facebook with Luis where he talked about "Por Un Beso" and what it means to him (please forgive my Spanish transcribing and translation):

Es una cancion super divertido y super romantico en mismo tiempo. En realidad fue un inspiracion de mi Ex novio.

It's a super fun song and super romantic at the same time. In reality, it was inspired by my ex-boyfriend
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I was quite surprised this was inspired by an ex cause it's just so....fun! I mean, lusting after your ex without a heaping side of angst? It just doesn't compute for me! But I do love that he keeps it light and leans into the romantic cheese. Some of the lyrics can be a bit on the nose, but he's got the charm to pull it off! Excited to see where he goes from here!

@daninternational continues to make me sad he missed the first iteration of this rate but so happy to have him here: Great to have non-English songs, but wish the chorus was a bit more in your face

 

Gay Happy to be here!