Twirling and sanging his way over to introduce our next cut is the Mighty Real
Sylvester! One of the first out and fabulous pop stars who represented what disco was truly about, queer people of color exulting in the freedom of the dance floor!
84. "Headlights"
By Calvin Arsenia
6.497
Highest Scores: 9 x 1 (@Music Is Life)
Lowest Scores: 4 x 3 (@Hurricane Drunk @happiestgirl @soratami)
My Score: 8.5
Found my new vice
And it’s filling me up like an ashtray
Took every single mirror down
Cause I don’t wanna see
Malnutrition seeping from beneath this paper towel
It’s much too much to clean up
So I open the window and pretend I’m picking roses in Versailles
Instead of writing my own introduction to Calvin Arsenia, he was asked to introduce himself in an
interview and I'm not one to speak over queer voices:
My name is Calvin Arsenia. I am a classically trained singer and electric Celtic harpist steeped in a soup of Soul, Jazz; Folk, and Electronic roots, strung together by heart-on-my-sleeve narrations, served with a delicate garnish of cheeky humor on the tippy top.
Arsenia is the type of artist that feels tailor-made for my style. I mishmash of genres and influences that all come together in a very accessible yet unique sounding whole. I discovered "Headlights" on NPR and quickly spent the rest of the afternoon researching him and listening to his album
Cantaloupe. You can hear how much time and effort was spent in crafting this album as a whole and I encourage all of you to give it a spin. The closer "Cantaloupe" is the type of sweet and slightly sappy queer love song that makes my heart sing.
Throughout voting this and "Doubt" had similar trajectories with Arsenia's bass heavy grove keeping him slightly apace from WIlson's slow roll. I knew a song like this wouldn't be long for a rate so chock full of bops but I was hoping it'd inspire a few others to fall in love with Arsenia along with me. After our beloved
Music is Life, I'm the second highest voter and the majority of you all flooded this with 6's and 7's. While overdosing on 6's and 7's is no good in a rate, I think it speaks to how well crafted the song is and how enjoyable of a listen it is. His honeyed voice and the commitment to rhythm in "Headlights" makes it an excellent addition to many playlists. When
describing the influence behind the song Arsenia explained:
“‘Headlights’ is a response to being raised in a culture where I was taught to wait for and expect picturesque love and romance as a prerequisite to beginning a happy life,” Calvin Arsenia tells Atwood Magazine. “In contrast, as a millennial I was simultaneously made to believe that I have my whole life ahead of me and I shouldn’t be too quick to make decisions – I should prefer skepticism.”
Even as someone in a relationship, this speaks deeply to me. We've been taught these competing messages that true happiness exists only inside the context of true love while also being told that we have the world at our fingertips and need only grab the bull by the horns to be happy! These messages negate just how much hard work love is, how hard it is to find love, and how many barriers stand between a young person and their goals (especially if they're queer, a woman, a person of color, all of those things or a member of another oppressed group). "Headlights" finds Arsenia trying to recalibrate to a single life and accepting that he's gonna be be okay whether his partner is in or out, though the verses cast doubt on just how okay he'll be.
The outro is probably the only reason I couldn't score this higher (especially knowing the way moody chilled songs like this are normally treated in rates). Jametatone provides a rap that is representative of Arsenia's ASMR obsession. In just about every interview about his album, he spoke about the desire to incorporate ASMR techniques to create a body response to the music. For me, great music naturally creates a body response- hair stands on end, tears well up, heart beats faster- that I don't need a man whispering in my ears about how this "this isa verse for the vers." Thankfully, Arsenia's harp comes in to close it out but in a perfect world there'd be no rap and a more extended harp outro.
When asked how his sexuality has influenced his work Arsenia gave an
answer that at first gave me "I'm Not a Gay Artist" tea but after reading more of his interviews has given me "I Have No Choice But to Be an Artist" teas:
I don’t think my sexual orientation has had much influence on the way I write music.
I close my eyes and wait until music visits me in my imagination. Like artifacts found in a deep sea, I do my best to retain the integrity of the melodies and broken pieces I bring them to the surface. Then I clean them up and put them on display.
The lyrics come from a real place - mixing stale stoic fact driven imagery with really dry humor and word play.
Neither of these processes have much to do with the kind of body I prefer to be held by at night.
Throughout the development and running of this rate, it's been rewarding for me to contemplate what is Queer Music, what makes a song "Queer" and what role does an artist who is queer have in representing that queerness in their art? Arsenia's answer has only complicated that for me. He isn't playing some coy game of hiding pronouns or appealing to a mass audience, but instead is trying to be the most authentic version of his creative self.
And lastly to show just how much
TASTE he has, here are the three albums he said mean the most to him (the answer to why is in this
interview):
Vespertine - Björk
Illinois - Sufjan Stevens
Channel Orange - Frank Ocean
Now let's inspect y'all's taste:
Untitled a lovely slow burner
Reboot This is not something I’d usually listen to, but I love the smooth, happy vibe of the video. His final look in the video with the glitter is so great.
Pop3Blow 2Not really my favorite vocal, but this is fine I guess. Some good lyrics.
Constantino Beautiful instrumental, and I don’t mean that in a shady, Aretha kinda way.
The Hot Rock Liked the chill instrumentation and overall vibe to this one.
Untouchable Ace He has a beautiful tone, almost like Jamie Irrepressible. The song is quite chilled.
