2KPOP16: SOTY Rate (THE FINAL: ~*WINNER*~) | Page 38 | The Popjustice Forum

2KPOP16: SOTY Rate (THE FINAL: ~*WINNER*~)

Discussion in 'K-pop' started by Squashua, Dec 4, 2016.

  1. @Mikl C I could wring your neck right now ....

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  2. It was time to go. Sunny Girls and Ladies Code and Crayon Pop need to gtfo immediately.
     
    McQueer and Dangerous Maknae like this.



  3. SO ABOUT THE CREEPY VR SAX WE JUST HAD...























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    19th

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    CRAYON POP - DOO DOOM CHIT
    Avg: 8.00

    10 - @Squashua @Aries @ThighHighs @Slice of Life @Deja-Boo @D is for Danger! @Lego
    2 !!! - @McQueer
    My Score: 10



    C. R
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    A. Y.
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    O. N.
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    **PAWP**
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    Firstable, I still get my life, death and afterlife to this shining opus of EDM cartoonery but we'll get there in a moment. Every year has its long awaited comebacks from groups long since out of the spotlight. Heck, I would have said this was the biggest overdue-comeback of 2016 but then again both Ladies' Code songs are still hanging out in the top 20 so maybe you missed them more? Either way there's no denying that the C-Pope's decision to trade in the crash helmets for a saxophone playing cat was nothing short of inspired. Dare I say -

    THE PURRFECT SAXCESS
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    Sawori thought she had mascot of the year sewn up until this little cutie pie came along. Where can I buy one - I need a Mr Catsobeat that plays Doo Doom Chit in my living room for guests or as my doorbell or as a giant furry cuckoo clock RIGHT NOW.

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    In all honesty I can rave, stan, hyperbole about this all day from the classroom to the boardroom to the klerb, it's that versatile. But all of that can't compare to the exemplary write-up it received from the truest head stan of the KPJ C-Pope congregation @Deja-Boo during the phenomenal Crayon Pop Discog rate at the beginning of the year. Please take a moment to VISIT that post, educate y'all selves for the slight caused here today and, whilst you're there, immerse yourselves in all things CP because I was amazed by how good their output is. I had basically only heard FM & DooDoomChit before and now I regularly have Dancing Queen & Bing Bing (at the minimum) on rotation these days.

    CONSIDER ME CONVERTED
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    Anyway a quick list of the best bits of this song to compliment Deja's actual music journalist report and i'll be on my way:

    DOO DOOM CHIT: A Highlights Reel

    The Spelling Bee Intro
    That MASSIVE "PAWP!" into the beat
    The "oo-oo" / rave siren announcing you're about to lose your entire pre-frontal cortex
    Crayon Pop single-handedly making all sax breakdowns cool again
    The multiple age-group sets - song of the people
    One of the twins struggling on that kid's play-park spring seat
    The girls looking snatched in the red high-waist trousers
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    The girls looking snatched in the rich binch private school yellow & blue
    The whole ridiculous dance routine based off a line-drawn cat meme
    Said Line-Drawn Cat meme having near-threatening cult leader close-ups
    "PUH YO HANDS AWP! hey"
    The girls trashing the classroom during their sax-induced convulsions
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    The absolutely deranged sax in the pre-chorus
    The invasion of tiny Mr Saxobeats in the cereal aisle
    Ellin's blistering breakfast items house-rap that basically made other girl-band rappers redundant
    The Dancing Queen reference
    "KUNG-KUNG-KUNG-KUNG"
    The song entering the Meoributeo Balkkaji panthenon of K-Pop bangers
    Gummi's denim clad CEO
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    "BABY BABY BABY I'M SOOOOO FAH-TAHTIC GURRRLL"
    The Twins tag-teaming the middle-8 into submission
    Half the team dropping it low during said Middle-8
    The catwalk strut moment just before the final chorus
    Mr Catsobeat choosing the highest stage wall to hide behind because he's knows the girls are tiny, the feline brute
    Mr Catsobeat somehow playing the sax whilst wearing hand puppets
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    The fact i've listened to this, by my count, fifteen times on a loop since writing this and not once done anything less than bop
    The fact I have had no need of a hairdresser since this came out
    The fact APink - Only One was the next song on Youtube and it made them sound even more beige.

    Verdict: INCREDIBLE

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    **********

    Compared to the Crayon Pope rate, this has dropped like a proverbial stone (#4 to #19) and scraped past the 8.0 average compared to the 9.46 score with EIGHT tens (i mean it still got 7 here but still).

    WHO'S GOING TO ANSWER FOR THIS?
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    Well honestly, no one. Most of the low scorers didn't leave any commentary so I guess we'll have to wait for their comments to be posted below. At least GeiPanda admits to his indifference: "It's decent but a bit all-over-the-place."

    Salami swerved the cereal aisle in search of some shade: "Only listenable song of theirs. Pleasantly surprised." Shhh, don't tell Deja. Or if you do expect a holy conversion to occur at the C-Pope's pulpit. Ajmkv is the most recent sheep to the lord's flock: "I'll admit that I like this even though it used to be well-known on this forum (or did it? My delusions of grandeur are real~) that I'm a non-believer in the Pope. I'm a heathen. And this song is helping me repent.
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    I TAKE EVERYTHING BACK CRAYON POP, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT WITH ME
    ."

    Atonement is a necessary rite of passage for those unversed in the divine Pope. Slice of Absolution offers up a bounteous sacrifice to the heavens: "I didn't give this a perfect score in the recently concluded, flawlessly hosted Crayon Pop Discography Rate so lemme correct that mistake. Y'all will probably talk about the song's perfection so I'll give that all for you. Imma talk about the visuals instead. I mean, I always found the girls attractive, pretty, etc. But they absolutely look ravishing and drop dead gorgeous in the music video. I am so used to them styled in adorably weird ways so I am shook that they actually look 11/10 when they are made up like this. Especially my girl Geummi. SHE'S SO HOT LORDT TAKE ME!!!"

    GEUM GEUM GEUM GEUM
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    I've taken the liberty of shielding the eyes of the innocents from what D is for Danger! hath brought forth unto the world: "Heavy, thumping, non-stop EDM badassery. Glorious use of the saxophone sample and disorienting synths during Way/Geummi's pre-chorus. Ellin's rap provided a nice break from an otherwise simple song structure. I hope The group doesn't disband after that troll stole Soyul from the group. Girl, you can do so much better!
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    "


    Ryan_Riot will continue to shun the Korean non-believers: "Crayon Pop(e) never seem to disappoint! They came out with a phenomenal track to promote with their album … too bad Korea just has bad taste. Seriously though, this is such a fun and catchy tune and a half! If you haven’t been converted yet, you must be insane." whilst ThighHighs has a head for bangers (and a banging head): "An absolute stormer of epic proportions. If this ever came on at a club, my head would explode." And our esteem Arch-Bishop of Cuties Deja-Boo will not preach to you but sing high praises: "I said everything I had to say about Doo Doom Chit in the iconic Crayon Pop rate, but it deserves repeating: MASSIVE."

    A. M.

    E. N.


    PAWP!!

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  5. Slice of Life, Squashua and ajmkv like this.
  6. Not a big loss, but then again I've never really liked Crayon Pop as much as I imagine everyone else here does.
     
    Mikl C likes this.
  7. GOOD

    FUCKING

    BYE

    (however, that was an amazing write-up, @Squashua! Made me feel better about the elimination. I love reading people's journeys with my faves.)

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    But enough about your douching technique

    This, coming from a SONE?! i can't

    Nope
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    He, ajmkv, McQueer and 6 others like this.
  8. Doo Doom Chit was the (2nd) stupidest song of 2016, but also my 4th favorite. RIP to a bawp of the highest order.
     
  9. I thought Vroom was better than Doo Doom Chit. But its good to see them anywhere considering all they've been through. I thought they were cooked after really, really disappointing comebacks after FM. A nice rebound.
     
  10. It's about damn time !!!!!!!

    Honestly I revisited this song countless times as the rate went on wondering what I was missing but every time I had to turn it off like halfway through. Get taste y'all!
     
    Dangerous Maknae likes this.
  11. This forum's taste got even worse after I left.
     



  12. WHAT CAME FIRST -


    THE SAX OR THE THIRST?
























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    18th

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    K.A.R.D - OH NANA
    Avg: 8.03

    10 - @Squashua @Aries @Slice of Life @ryan_riot92 @ajmkv
    4 - @Salami @Deja-Boo @Laurence Nope
    My Score: 10


    It took a little while longer than it seemed it was going to be but now all the male-aided singles are officially out of the running. Oh NaNa in name, and Oh NaNa in reaction to this body-rolling out of the competition pre-top 15. Most unexpected KPJ smash of the year?

    PULL UP WITH A BANGER BABY
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    Because at the very end point of 2016, it appeared DSP was dead in the water. Kara had imploded from sheer boredom, Rainbow has been mis-managed to the very bitter-shrug of an ending, A-JAX hadn't released a top 100 single since 2012 and APRIL, up until 2017, didn't look like they'd be able to survive in the brutal landscape of girl-group nugudom. Not even Seoul's own Mimi diva supreme Sawori could bring DSP back to life...

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    With the announcement of a new project entitled KARD - was there any reason to not expect it to flop? A co-ed group? In 2016?? They barely worked out for the bigger companies let alone the fiasco that we all know as DSP. The teaser photos of the concept didn't exactly fill the fans with confidence either:

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    Remember all of this messery? The trying to wedge the letters of KARD into some kind of playing cards theme despite the R & D not corresponding to the start of a word and the girls having to share said R with some weird ass Black jokeR and Color jokeR combo. Ok I get that KJAQ wouldn't have worked but does anyone really mind about common sense in K-Pop band naming brainstorms?

    Remember the talk of a hiDden member for each of the THREE pre-debut singles and us discussing if that meant we were looking at a 7 member group in total? Remember when hooded madam of Kara's twilight years Youngji was revealed as said hiDden member for this single? Geez, louise was this shaping up to be a disaster, and that's without even mentioning the vaguely ovaries A of the logo.

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    In a post Don't Recall world however, in between Gorilla walking our way into the klerb, it seems weird to even feel like it wasn't going to work. How could it not?

    Oh NaNa was the urban body-rockin' anthem we didn't know we needed
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    Where Somin got a chance to debut both her new face and a more mature image outside of Dirndls and Brownies cosplay in APRIL
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    Where the Ahjummas were shook because the Ahjussis were far too excited by 19+ sexy club dance choreo:
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    Where Youngji managed to get some work for an ad-lib laden minute before spinning right back out into obscurity again as demonstrated literally in this live performance:


    It showed us that a co-ed group didn't have to be cheesy in performance or super serious behind the scenes:


    And it gave all you thirsty unnies out there two very eligible oppas to imagine... things:

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    Oh NaNa itself was not even close to lame, it was a stormer of a track with a ridiculously catchy hook, on-trend breakdown and switch-bait style of rap vs singing. Is it any wonder then that, in an age where Kpop has much more visibility worldwide, the international fanbase was ready and salivating for this? I mean tumblr was ready to take them to their pictoral-heavy bosoms with heavily extra creations like:
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    Give the twinks and the unnies everything they want KARD. Sure at this point Don't Recall has gone and surpassed this in terms of listens/play time for me but I can still appreciate that during the wintery blues of last year this was the most fun you could find in 3 minutes. 2017 is already shaping up to be their breakout year, perhaps even (along with acts like Blackpink & BTS) the year K-Pop that isn't Gangnam Style breaks out into a wider global market.

    THEY partially DID THAT

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    **********

    Poker, like K-Pop Rates, is a game for the masses so we'll see which cards align for our scorers:

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    Shuffling the deck & laying out the playing field for KARD is Capitan: "One of the best debuts in a very long time. It just goes to show how a truly good song is enough to launch your career in the right direction." Equally concerned with the set-up is ThighHighs: "What a great debut (or pre-debut as it were). The vocals are effective, the raps are good, and the chorus is a total earworm. The choreography is really great for a mixed gender group, actually."

    DID SOMEONE SAY MIXED GENDER?
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    That's right because one of the most divisive aspects of KARD is their male+female nature. Some of y'all were immediately dismissive of their gender combo, namely Reboot: "I’m not a big fan of co-ed groups." Fair enough, none of us are usually. Robinho#1 presents the other argument, namely one of pleasant surprises of a bad hand turning out good: "Decent debut from the co-ed group."

    HALLELUJAH
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    The response in the KPJ discussion halls was so brimming with surprised astoundment that it may well have had an impact on this song's final score. GeiPanda had Oh NaNa rattling through his dreams: "Good, but I think I've overplayed it a little bit" whereas Salami has had enough officially : "I don't know if it's just because it's a mixed group and I don't really care for it, but this was overhyped and overstanned as hell."

    Overstanned you say? Enter Slice of Meme to give you a proper tutorial in KARD-stanning: "Ugh I tried so hard to not give this a 10 but it just won't let me. This is still so good! I could play it for awhile and I won't get bored. And that astonishing, life-altering Hur Youngji middle 8??? YATHHHHHHHHHH. Amazeballs. The music video is on the cheap side but I won't forget the Evil Kermit realness projected by Youngji. Kii."

    COMETH TO THE DARK SIDE FROG
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    The second highest suit of division here would no doubt be the rise in K-Trop-House and how that rend might well becoming a bit much. Nonetheless, KARD got McQueer questioning ha stance: "Here I was thinking that I'd be happy never hearing another “tropical” basic bop ever again but god this is too fucking good? " which, in answer to your question, is a big whopping Y*SSssSs from Ajmkv: "WINNER OF MY PRESTIGIOUS "POPPIN' MY PUSS 2K16" AWARD AT THIS YEAR'S GRAMAMAS. Need I say more?"
    But honestly, this was unexpected and is probably the best tropical-house K-Pop song out there."


    GRAMAMA AWARD WINNER
    2x INAUGURAL KPJ CHART #1
    HAVING AN ACTUAL TOP 20 HIT SONG IN FINLAND

    WHEN WILL YOUR FAVES?

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    He might not have bestowed upon it a 10, but D is for Danger! has the royal flush of commentaries this time around: "More tropical house from SK. I'm glad Somin aka Goo Hara 2.0 is back, this time with an age appropriate concept. The chorus is fantastic. Instantly gets my tush shaking and grinding. Youngji was clearly tacked on for media play as Somin and Jiwoo are more than capable of handling her part during performances. Don't fuck this up DSP. Stan KARD everyone!"

    ERR, I THINK MOST PEOPLE ALREADY DO...
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  13. I'm still not a big fan of Oh Na Na even after the release of the life-changing Don't Recall, but I'm surprised it didn't do better!
     
    Vesperly and Squashua like this.
  14. UNNIE.
    I.
    LOVE.
    YOU.
    asdfgajwqgdwb23l7ey'DKsdjfwegfahbfqywL;j


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    He, Deja-Boo, ryan_riot92 and 2 others like this.
  15. I'm shocked.
     
    ajmkv likes this.
  16. Beige Pink, Beige Velvet and Ladies' Code need to go! How are they ranked higher than Oh Nana?!
     
    Capitan likes this.
  17. Ladies Code with TWO SONGS STILL IN?!?!

    This won't do...
     
    Salami likes this.


  18. THERE'S ANOTHER TIE AT #16
    BETWEEN TWO MASSIVE SONGS







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    BUT ONE DOESN'T HAVE AN 11 SO...






























































    17th

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    MAMAMOO - DECALCOMANIE
    Avg: 8.15 (no 11)

    10 - @Squashua @Aries @ThighHighs @Slice of Life @Capitan @Vesperly @Reboot @Mikl C
    3 - @Laurence Nope
    My Score: 10


    So you guys are properly slaughtering my faves right about now - how many 10s in a row?

    [​IMG]

    17th but only by a whisker are the MOO and whodafunk that they'd even get a song to a KPJ final a year ago? They've always had the pipes to blow most other idol groups out the water but never song material to match. I still have borderline panic attacks over how abysmal Um Oh Ah Yeh was (not to mention the gender-bending super awkward dancing in the public toilets video). In some respects it's a reverse TWICE-holian experience (because they can't sing but have bops kii) but in the case of our humble KPJ family, the JYP pretenders have blown past the veterans jazz-diva queens.

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    Decalco-what now? Not ones to dumb themselves down, the MOO went all baroque Western Europe in deciding on the English-but-not-actually-English title for their final comeback of 2016. They'd already achieved a number one with You're the Best plus top tens with I Miss You, Eminem-aping 1cm (Taller Than You) and the Rockefeller suite known as New York so Decal proved them with another chance to mix things up.

    AND BOY DID THEY
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    Whoever produced this jazz diva banger of an anthem I would like to personally do a reflection dance either side of a picture frame with you. It's just that good. There must have been a blood pact made during Equinox on a heath somewhere in Jeju Island because the moon & stars aligned here to grant up a bop that is fresh, classic, ridiculous, controversial, legitimate, luxurious all at once.

    Firstable, the name is a bit of a metaphor & hardly a common one at that. Meaning is:

    Basically in the song context it's going for 'sexy time body-to-body contact wrapped up in French artistry'. Of course mademoiselle, seduce me with your History of Art BA degree that'll never get you a job and your wholesale Parisian lingerie. The perfect combo of sultry and educated.

    [​IMG]

    It's brash, multi-layered, tasty (both visually and aurally), decadent, expensive - i'm basically just describing a millionaire's cheesecake because i'm hungry but it's true. There's handclaps aplenty, stops & starts to keep you on your toes, a distinctly jet set radio-esque groove to the rap sections, a euphoria embedded in the rising warblings of the chorus and before you know it you're clapping at the right times, doing the lip rub dance and singing "WEE ON ME WEE ON ME WEE ON ME NAWWWW *mumble mumble* I FeEEeeeEELL GOOD" with sheer, misheard abandonment.

    MAMAMOO IS COMING BACK FOR YOU YOUR SCALPS
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    Now now the video is a full length treatment that goes above and beyond the point of romantic extraness climaxing (quite literally) with a whole lot of watery squelches (that sound hilarious if you have the video on in the background), gasps and a scandal that was a thousand times more dodgy than AOA's history issues yet still managed to be overlooked by the Korean populace out of sheer goodwill. It's a massive shame because there are so many things on point: the girls' outfits are phenomenal, I love the choreography (and it's so easy to replicate kii) and the focus on symmetry & glamour are perfectly in

    Of course the international audience were PRESSED because, with K-Pop now in a global light, we love to fight cultural social battles as we perceive them more so than perhaps Korea does itself. By all means I can't argue the "seduction" moments weren't problematic although it feels more than likely down to editing decisions rather than straight up intent. It becomes a bit more bleak for my new found appreciation for the MOO after the blackface scandal, which leaves their fate with the Korean public hanging in the balance but none of these stop Decalciumdeficiency from being any less than the very best thing they've ever released, and now probably ever will.

    I mean Solar's final ad-libs are still... just... WOW.

    PERIOD.

    [​IMG]




    **********

    Ironically enough, the forum nickname for this track has turned out to be true! It's figures, sequences and timings at the ready as we punch in some statistics for Decalculator:

    ONE, TWO, THREE - WHERE'S MY ABACUS?
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    Like a painterly mentor, Vesperly is a much appeased Monet of the KPJ crowd: "Mamamoo's first exhilarating, catchy bop. I'm so proud." I feel you sis, i'm like T.T every time I hear this & get my forehead blown off by vocal runs. Accountant to the stars, Slice of Assurance has noticed a big changed in the MOO stock exchange: "If you told me a year before that I would lose my shit to a Mamamoo song, I'd probably laugh at you. But here we are. Decalcomanie is a legitimate bop for the ages. That chorus is iconic in the truest sense of the word. And the music video is full of lewks too! My girl Wheein is serving! But the live performances truly made the song more memorable and rightfully won the girls their first GRAMAMA. Kii." Come through GRAMAMAlumni. Equally billing this as the pinnacle of MOO-dom is Ajmkv: "Finally, a Mamamoo song with a great chorus! This is probably their best single so far. I haven't given it the time of day yet, but it's slowly growing on me (especially after those live performances) and I'm loving it more and more every day."

    Let's relive the moment they won over the world's toughest most terrifying audience -
    Korean Actors *boo* *hiss*


    GeiPanda is an observer of artistry but refuses to buy a painting for his boudoir quite yet: "I can appreciate these ladies' talents, but none of their songs have completely blown me away and made me stan for them... yet." whilst D is for Danger! be coining more beige/bored variety of band names than Van Gogh did paintings of himself: "I've honestly grown tired of Mamameh. I was such a fan when they burst on the scene with Don't Be Happy, but my interest has waned with each new release. The chorus is good, but I just can't be bothered to care about the group anymore. The girls are definitely talented and have great personalities. They just need better material. Maybe tone it down on the belting too. We know you can sing girls!" Turn it down? Did you Van Gogh your ears too? Luckily Alouder98 has the perfect retort for your commentary: "Vocal Queens in your area!"

    REAL WOMEN DON'T NEED MOPEDS YG - THEY GOT CHAFFEURS
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    Talking about arrivals, the ballroom extravaganza is now open and look at all the new faces! Salami made it to the recital as fashionably late as ever: "Only just got into this last week and I wish I knew it earlier. Amazing song." Don't worry darling, ThighHighs has been here doing the lip-rub dance around the billiard room for weeks: "What kind of timing, as this rate comes around just as my obsession with this song is at an all-time high. This explosive, dynamic, vocal hurricane of a song. Every knock, belt, and rap is syncopated perfectly." A hurricane you say?

    BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES DIVAS
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    (Also y*ssss @ThighHighs at slipping "Syncopated" in there - you wordsmith)

    Love doesn't always hold true and strong. Just like a masterpiece fades under sunlight doth Ryan_Riot's affections wane as time rolls past: "I’m actually growing quite distant to this song …I’m not loving it as much as I use to but ti’s still one of the MOO’s most solid releases! Not to mention the stunning visuals of this comeback were impeccable! Don’t be shrewd and give into the MOO, it’s all you can do boo." Someone who has given in is our final commentator Reboot - she's offering adulation of one's self (Korean legends) over any menfolk: "They remind me a bit of Brown Eyed Girls, which is just about the highest praise I can give. I realize it’s a love song, but it also works perfectly well as an empowering tune to make yourself feel better in the morning."

    SIGNED, SEALED, SWISH~
    [​IMG]

     
  19. I'm quite sure i'm losing my 11 for the next elimination.
     
  20. Decalcomanie is the very definition of They Did That. I just can't believe how good it is.
     
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