Anxiety | Page 48 | The Popjustice Forum

Anxiety

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by DreamlessNights, Nov 15, 2015.

  1. I was told yesterday that I'll have to leave my current job in two months. They told me they thought "something was missing", which I'm pretty sure was their way of saying "we don't think you've been social enough and attending enough staff days out". My anxiety + irrational fear of doing social things/being in large groups really plagued me in my current job so I'm not surprised, to be honest. I've always felt pretty out of place here, so it's probably for the best. In my third week I got told off for being "rude" and that's stayed with me ever since because I'd just had this amazing weekend in Glasgow that I couldn't stop thinking about and it felt like being punched in the gut and falling back to Earth. I think ever since I always felt like I had to walk on tiptoes and present myself as someone I wasn't.

    I just hope that my next job will be ... easier, in terms of my anxiety. I don't want to end up in another workplace with over 60 colleagues where I'm constantly expected to attend every after-work outing. I also wish being a bit introverted and shy and quiet isn't immediately seen as a weakness.
     
  2. I’ve had a similar experience at work. Granted, sometimes I know I can be short with people sometimes, but some of it seemed to come from this idea that I didn’t smile at coworkers and act bubbly when thy came to talk to me about work matters. Introverts can be really misunderstood in the workplace and it’s tiresome that we’re expected to put on a public face but I don’t see as much criticism to extroverts. At least in my personal experience.
     
    Island, marie_05, VivaForever and 5 others like this.
  3. Exactly. And it's not as if I don't smile or say hello (there's a seasoned team leader who never says hello to anyone and she gets away with it); it's just that it took me a really long time to feel comfortable socialising with my colleagues. It's only this year that I felt brave enough to eat in the staff room, which I didn't do previously. I guess I should have known this was going to happen when I got a long lecture for admitting that I didn't have the strength to go to a staff day out because "I struggle with large groups".

    What bothers me about all this is that the person I present myself as in the staff room is not the same person I am in my classroom. When I teach, I'm 100% me and not introverted at all. I'm basically the same person I would be at home. But my bosses don't see that.

    Anyway, sorry for ranting. You're right about extroverts. Especially in my profession, you're apparently much better at your job when you're not an introvert.
     
    marie_05, VivaForever and ohnostalgia like this.
  4. I recently received a recommendation in a training session for a book by Susan Cain called
    Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. I've downloaded it and am looking forward to reading it, since part of my job does involve being able to talk to strangers in small and large groups. I'm hoping it will be helpful.
     
  5. Feeling more and more dysphoric again. Treating myself with new clothes, which for the first time, intentionally make me appear more feminine, relieves me a little though. The next step would be to wear them in public, but just thinking about it freaks me out. I wish I didn't give so much importance to people's reactions towards my appearance.
     
  6. does anyone else wake up feeling nervous for no reason? and imagine something bad happening? because I have been feeling like this the past couple days + not getting enough sleep ughhhh
     
    Vasilios and Stopremix like this.
  7. Last week I finally got a phone call in regards to a job position that I really wanted, one that pays very well and it's 100% remote, so I can work from anywhere I want if I have an internet connection. The problem is that they want me to start next Friday, so tomorrow I have to give my current boss a 3 days notice.

    I freaking hate this situation, I know that some people will be angry, but I can't take this anymore. I've been on the same position for 3 years, and recently I've requested to be moved to another job, only to be postponed every month.


    I hate confrontations and difficult situations like this, I know that it sounds like a first world problem, but I've been losing a lot of sleep over this
     
    VivaForever and Future Lover like this.
  8. I feel ya, work was always the source of anxiety for me, and I hope everything will turn out fine. You deserve better, and if they haven't listened to your requests, you have every right to leave. No need to feel bad about that. What sort of confrontation could you expect? Is there a legal block for you to have such a short notice?
     
    WallyWinterborn likes this.
  9. Legally no, they cannot stop me. I don't want to leave and burn any bridges I might have here, we did collaborate for 3 years though.

    I know that some people will be disappointed, especially my work colleagues from Germany, one of them might even make a scene, how a 3 days notice is unacceptable, but yeah, I do deserve better.


    [​IMG]
     
    Future Lover likes this.
  10. Well, hunny, I expect you to bring the receipts and tell them like it is. You have it in you! You're just treating them the way they treated you. The people who were your friends there will understand, the one who don't... well, you don't need them in your personal or professional life, so bye-bye to the bastards!
     
    londonrain and WallyWinterborn like this.
  11. Susan Cain’s TedxTalk is my absolute favourite.
     
  12. I've been going through something similar for the past month. It's so awful.

    My toolbox includes exercise, talk therapy, a white noise machine, journaling (really honestly/being willing to admit that something fundamental was really wrong about my work life), going to bed when I'm tired as opposed to when I should, actively telling myself that this is something happening to me and not something that will always be the case, and Trazodone, which has helped a ton.

    Hope this is all behind you soon!
     
    Lander likes this.
  13. I think I have developed a problem with health anxiety.

    I have convinced myself I have had about 4 different types of cancer over the past year.

    I had a persistent cough last year that lasted for months and nothing helped it and I ended up convinced I had lung cancer.

    Thankfully that’s cleared up but I can’t stop convincing myself that every little thing could be the sign of something worse.

    For example I had constipation and convinced myself I had bowel cancer , had a little bump in my mouth convinced myself I had mouth cancer it really is no way to live.

    My mum did have a genuine cancer scare this time last year which thankfully turned out to be nothing but I’m wondering if that has triggered something in me? I’ve always been a worrier but not as bad as this.

    Probably should see my GP.
     
    londonrain likes this.
  14. Ugh, oh my god, that is awful that you were expected to do that. That's just wrong on SO many levels. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but it does sound like it's for the best.
    I genuinely 100% believe that extrovert privilege is a thing.
    Quiet is great! I read it years ago when I was in college. I really need to reread it.
    I understand 100%. The first time I went out in girl mode was totally nerve-wracking. Okay, the first several times. The best advice I can give you is to get someone (or, better, multiple someones) who will be kind but honest in assessing your appearance. And then, you just have to push through it.

    Also, dysphoria sucks hard, so, sympathies. Laser has done wonders for me, but I only made it through half the course for various reasons, so the shadow on my face still gives me dysphoria and I cannot wait to be fully rid of it. And also, if you ever need a trans girl to talk to about gender/transition stuff, I'm here.
     
  15. I've had this on my shelf for a couple of years, I need to sit and read the thing!
     
    londonrain likes this.
  16. I'm taking a break from Instagram and Facebook and I'm feeling so much better. I can enjoy my daily life without watching people sipping drinks in Hawaii or driving Ferrari. It's been only a few days but it's kind of refreshing.
     
  17. I've dealt with this. Certainly your mom having a cancer scare didn't help. My dad passed away with MS when I was quite young, and a few years ago I was having some symptoms (which ironically were likely symptoms of my general anxiety) that my doctor thought warranted me getting tested for MS - I was petrified for weeks until I saw a neurologist, basically 100% convinced that I had MS. It didn't help that the neurologist he referred me to was the same old man who had misdiagnosed my father 20-something years prior. I've also had to get a few moles removed, and each time I've been convinced that I had cancer. It's tough to stay out of your head when it's something like that because you're essentially powerless.

    One of my doctors said something to me which at first I found a bit odd but has since helped calm me a bit when it comes to health scares; the thing you fear is rarely what kills you. Often it's just that - a fear. I don't have MS and I don't have cancer. 99 times out of 100 the ailments you have are just passing issues, which we all experience every day.
     
    londonrain likes this.
  18. I've found peace with it now, I think. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to explain to my boss why I find certain things a bit scary. When I told him I didn't want to go to the staff day out two years ago he actually told me it was "unfair" on my colleagues "who had real issues". Yuck.

    I'm also slightly baffled by the fact that my boss would prefer me not to tell my closest colleagues the true reason why I have to leave. I think I'm supposed to pretend I have found a job elsewhere? There's no way I'm going to do that.
     
  19. [​IMG]
     
  20. Just an FYI to any social media users; if you use the hashtag #BellLetsTalk (or even just RT tweets that use it), Bell donates 5 cents to Mental Health initiatives. There's also a Snapchat filter which will do the same.



    Even just watching these videos contributes!


     
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