BEYONCÉ: the discography rate ~ WINNER revealed!

Telephone was hard to rank in the context of a Beyoncé rate. It’s an absolute gold-plated banger and deserving of a 10 but it also doesn’t feel like it deserves a place in the higher echelons of her discography given it’s status as a collaboration. Despite this I gave it a ten because I fucking live for it and I have fond memories of being late to my shift at KFC to stream the music video.
"Sweet Dreams" is the very last song I bumped to a 10. While the production is clearly dated, it's such an excellent bop that both manages to be fierce and endearing at the same time, which is very rare for Beyoncé, so it deserved full marks in the end. I've always thought there's something adorable about the song, too.
Should've definitely been at least in the top 20 out of the remaining songs, but I'm glad it ended up as the winning song of "I Am... Sasha Fierce".


Album Average: 7.177
(Standard Edition: 7.35)
2016: 6.307



23. Sweet Dreams (8.958)
31. Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) (8.85)
46. Diva (8.388)
56. Halo (8.241)
58. Why Don't You Love Me (8.233)
79. Radio (7.751)
82. If I Were A Boy (7.7)
90. Scared Of Lonely (7.575)
103. Video Phone / Video Phone (Remix) (7.133)
106. Disappear (7.125)
112. Broken Hearted Girl (7.068)
113. Hello (7.066)
116. Ego (7.033)
119. Smash Into You (6.918)
160. Poison (6.193)
166. That's Why You're Beautiful (5.991)
167. Ave Maria (5.983)
171. Satellites (5.885)
172. Save The Hero (5.85)
178. Honesty (5.608)


Top Scorers:

8.825 - @TéléDex
8.7 - @eatyourself
8.6 - @Sprockrooster


Bottom Scorers:

4.2 - @Purple
5.9 - @Aester, @Ramalama
6.087 - @allyshone


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and the final cut before the top 20...


SCORE: 8.966

27/113 (+5) | 8.342 (+0.624)
HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 12 ( @Sprockrooster, @lalaclairi_, @boombazookajoe, @Ana Raquel, @odyism, @Maria, @eatyourself, @soratami, @TheOnlyOne, @klow, @Lost In Japan., @Ramalama )
LOWEST SCORE: 5 x 1 ( @Phonetics Girl )
MY SCORE: 8.5/10

B’Day is arguably Beyoncé’s most FUN album... well until Renaissance came along. Packed with masterful and influential bops that only Beyoncé could pull off at the time, Get Me Bodied might just be the peak bop-ation on the album. Co-written with Swizz Beatz, Sean Garrett, Angela Biyincé, Makeba Riddick and baby sister and icon in her own right Solange Knowles, Get Me Bodied was the product of Beyoncé being reminiscing about the good times she’s had with Kelly, Michelle and Solange. The song was released as the sixth and final single from her sophomore effort over a year after its initial release.

Get Me Bodied is a song fit for pre-drinks. It begins with Beyoncé letting the world know her birthday, “9-4-8-1… B’day”. And then shoots into the first verse where she lists the missions she’s going to accomplish on her night out with the girls. If you don’t know by now, Get Me Bodied is simply about grinding up close to your dance partner and dancing all night. The infectious Swizz Beatz production and joyous chorus are enough to get you moving, but Beyoncé pushes it even further in the six minute extended mix and lists out dances for you to follow. Six minutes might seem like a long time, but Get Me Bodied uses up every single second of its time effectively. An essential Beyoncé party anthem.

The song didn’t make much of a dent in the charts, however this is a Beyoncé rate and if there was a chart for cultural impact, then Get Me Bodied would have done considerably better. It peaked at #68 in 2007 on the Billboard Hot 100, only to re-peak six years later after a Youtube video went viral featuring the song. In 2011, Beyoncé joined forces with Michelle Obama for the Let’s Move! campaign, which aimed to tackle child obesity. She re-jigged Get Me Bodied, renaming it Move Your Body and shot a 'flash mob' video for it in a school in Harlem. Beyoncé earned praise for her contribution to the movement. Overall, the song sold over 1m copies worldwide.

The main music video for Get Me Bodied earned Beyoncé a lot of praise. Some fans even consider it to be one of her best. Directed by Anthony Mandler, the video is a tribute to 1960s dance, being particularly inspired by Broadway superstar Bob Fosse. Kelly, Michelle and Solange all make appearances as her "three best friends" making their way to the club. The video has all the elements of a great pop video - the references, the outfits, the choreography and most importantly, it captures the true essence of the song.

Get Me Bodied has been performed regularly throughout Beyoncé’s career. It’s first television performance was at the 2007 BET Awards and boy was it a performance for the history books - they just don’t do shit like this at award shows anymore! From Beyoncé stealing ideas from Kylie’s Fever Tour to guest appearances from Michelle and Solange, to the performance turning into a medley with Kelly Rowland’s banger Like This featuring Eve. It’s just a blast. The song has gotten outings on most of Beyoncé’s solo tours. Shout out to The Beyoncé Experience outfit, which was a black and yellow bumblebee inspired two-piece. In 2018, Solange joined Beyoncé on stage at Coachella for a cute performance of the song.

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The correct elimination before the top 20.
"Get Me Bodied" is probably my least favourite song on the standard edition of "B'Day" - others may call it energetic and fun but I mainly find it exhausting. Overly repetitive, shouty and directionless, even the beat just feels... empty. Definitely overrated and should've been out before the last few songs, I bet if it was a bonus track, it would've been eliminated at #100 or something.
Still, it's nice enough and got a 6.75 from me so it's not that I dislike it, I just never seek this song on my own.
your dynasty ain't complete without a chief like me...


SCORE: 8.981

38/113 (+17) | 7.978 (+1.003)
HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 12 ( @theincredibleflipper, @lalaclairi_, @Ana Raquel, @Daniel_O, @Phonetics Girl, @Dijah., @eatyourself, @soratami, @TheOnlyOne, @godspeed, @klow, @Lost In Japan. )
LOWEST SCORE: 7 x 3 ( @Sprockrooster, @Crisp X, @Purple )
MY SCORE: 8/10

Upgrade U has so many co-writers on it that I can’t be bothered listing them all, but just so you know, Mathew Knowles somehow has a writing credit on this one. The song marks Jay-Z’s second feature on B’Day, however the song did feature T.I. originally before he was removed for a mysterious business reason. The song was released in November 2006 as a promotional single in the US.

Both Upgrade U and Suga Mama share similar concepts, however Suga Mama feels more like the beginnings of a relationship, whereas Upgrade U is a few years in and things are getting serious, but trust and believe, Beyoncé is still the boss in the relationship. Funnily enough, the song samples Betty Wright’s 1968 song, Girls Can’t Do What The Guys Do, which is a concept Beyoncé is flipping on its head here and throughout her career. It’s an empowering bop from Bey, which I remember people took offence to at the time, showing how even though we’ve come a long way since the 60s, there are still those who hate seeing women doing and often outperforming what the guys do.

The hand-clap beat on Upgrade U is immediately nostalgic. The song is one of the "coolest" on the album and a worthy addition to the Beyoncé/Jay-Z collaboration back catalogue. Upgrade U peaked at No.59 on the Billboard Hot 100, despite never really being pushed as a single. It also went on to sell over 1m copies worldwide, was certified silver in the UK and is the third most streamed song on B’Day with over 120m plays, after Beautiful Liar and Irreplaceable. A decent-sized slow burner of a hit!

The video is typically noughties. Directed by Melina Matsoukas during the two-week B’Day Anthology Video Album filming, the video features Beyoncé in numerous blinged out setups. One of the most memorable scenes is Beyoncé’s impersonation of Jay-Z, which lends itself back to her being able to do what the guys do, but it’s also just a really good gimmick as Beyoncé is seen dancing around her impersonation of Jay-Z, only for him to appear himself halfway through his verse. It’s a scene which is similar to the one in Ciara’s Like A Boy video, which only came out one week before Upgrade U premiered. Queens. There are some other typically nostalgic elements in the video, like the obligatory scene in the water or the inclusion of a baby alligator with a gold bracelet round its neck (sorry PETA).

The song hasn’t had any televised performances, however it has been performed plenty on tour, thanks to the joint On The Run Tours. It was first performed in full on The Beyoncé Experience tour, where Jay-Z joined her on stage for the DVD recording. It also got an outing on The I Am… Tour before being shelved for Beyoncé’s solo tours.

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In the US, "Upgrade U" was used in an ad for a satellite TV service that seemed to run endlessly throughout 2007. I wonder if that's part of the reason it became relatively popular here? (I'd even catch my dad singing it back then.) Whatever the case, its slow-burn success is much deserved. I never get tired of it!

In the US, "Upgrade U" was used in an ad for a satellite TV service that seemed to run endlessly throughout 2007. I wonder if that's part of the reason it became relatively popular here? (I'd even catch my dad singing it back then.) Whatever the case, its slow-burn success is much deserved. I never get tired of it!

The way I forgot about this commercial and would relentlessly quote it and stop people mid conversation to say --LEMME UPGRADE U to directTV.

I can't say specifically how much the DirectTV ad played a part in the popularity of the song. Looking back I was probably 16 and my world view was pretty specific, but I remember Upgrade U being an immediate fan favorite uptempo.

I remember the B'Day era reception was strange because you had people complaining about DejaVu--either that it was a lesser Crazy In Love, or being weird conservatives who couldn't handle the video, or the energy of 2006 choreography can only be boom-boom-kat-intricate-So You Think You Can dance-eight count (whereas DejaVu was pulling more from Josephine Baker, traditional west African dances, and Tina Turner).

Then you had Ring the Alarm which was met with "she's crazy. Jay-z is a cheater. This song is about Rihanna." And I think alot of radios especially in NYC/the tri-state area were simultaneously spinning Upgrade U as the more immediate song. And then by the time Irreplaceable came out and dominated the charts, Upgrade U seemed to get simultaneous play (and then I think Get Me Bodied) for the uptempo option on the radio.

Of course it helps that Upgrade U is a fantastic song!
It's not a top favorite anymore, because some of the lines are a hint cringeworthy. Nothing too bad or blatant, but very 2006 Black women in r&b empowerment-let's get this bread- anthem.
But I still gave it a 9(?) because those melodies, the vocal arrangements, the horns, and the way the energy is just roaring is just a phenomenal slice of why B'day is an absolute classic that ages so beautifully.