So, hunties, here we are. The finale. The end. The Final Round.
Since I splooged this iconic season of the Top Answer Game at you unannounced, it has been a true joyride (maybe the real joyride is the top answers you fucked up along the way
). I’ve served you walls of text, graphics, buffoonery, thé, riggery, racial tension, fuckery, DIV errors, giffery, and so many doubts
. I have innovated the Top Answer Game multiple times over, with an iconic one-day-all-platform release; with the White Round which resolved racism once and for all on the forum; with the iconic Doomsday Round which had all your tootsies in a fray and your wigs in tatters as you raced for delicious points; and the Binary Round which closed all boxes and proved that the Top Answer is certainly not
And the obstacles I faced along the way were tremendous. Malfunctioning Excel spreadsheets. Endemic participant illiteracy. A sprained and
twisted foot (h/t @Jeffo
). The network scheduling The Slasher
primetime slot (but yes, it is she. It is me
, having the final laugh, as I read over my multiple syndication offers and observate the forum friendships not
destroyed by my Top Answer Game, certain in the knowledge that The Slasher
will burn out like pure magnesium in water (ooh that one was for the hunties who waited for the discarded Back To School round!))
For the final round, I wanted to serve you all this avant-gardery, all this tomfoolery, all this life
, in one condensed capsulette. As I sat down with pen and paper, a G&T and a fresh ice pack for my poor foot, I pondered, how would I achieve this last feat? How could I torture these hunties to oblivion one last time? In a rare moment of self-reflection, I wondered, was I
the best person to do this? No, I concluded while on my fourth G& (the tonic ran out). I had to find a person capable of maximum terror.
The one who had driven you all to Top Answer Game insanity with kiilarious horror once before.
So I got on the phone.
In the long and immensely pleasurable exchange that followed as per, we negotiated the finer details, including wanton sexual favours, the whereabouts of @PLUTO
's body and how best to sabotage The Slasher [Ed: not that it needs it cucu]
. What @Rommers
deposited in my inbox thereafter was truly... something. And now, at the cusp of everything, I share it with you.
- Name the member most likely to die first in the PJ hunger games
- Name a Radio ARTPOP troupe member
- Name a name discarded in favour of Lakynn
- Name an item from the Gemma Collins Collection
- Name the worst player on The Slasher, Season One
- Name the Gay Agenda's first target
- Name a more iconic trio than Xtina, Tanning Cream, and crotch heat, I'll wait
- Name Names: come on, which PopJustice member do you feel most personally victimised by?
- Name the member I should name the cat I adopted after, I’m running low on inspiration tbh
- Name your favourite participant in this Top Answer Game
- Rate BEYONCÉSWEAVE: The Top Answer Game Season 5
The Final Round closes Sunday 28 January at 4PM GMT (11AM EST)