Some of you all really let that Florence feature gaslight into thinking "FLORIDAAA!!!!" is not only good, but one the better songs on the album. Or maybe you convinced yourself that the banging noises on the chorus are a proper hook. Either way, y'all are wrong and it should have been kicked out before either of these two.
BIG POP GIRLS 2024
- Thread starter aux
- Start date
he/him
Any/All
The Bolter might be my favorite Anthology track, this one really stings! Now I feel sorry for taking off points for the fact that it is a tad overwritten and needlessly verbose (cad, frigid water…) but… The chorus melody is beautiful and lively, the bridge almost tear-inducing by the point it reaches that genuine swiftism in “there’s escape in escaping”, and I love when Taylor strikes that balance between giddiness and melancholy, something that her very best albums are full of. And if we are comparing it to Dorothea, we are comparing it to one of the most underrated evermore tracks - not every one of them has that last minute which is the epitome of lushness and warmth.
he/him
Solenciennes
Staff member
These Tortured write ups serving only to reiterate my belief that if she'd demonstrated a bit of quality control, these affecting ballads would have shined in a slimmed down single album with the poppier moments surrounding them for contrast. Also, most of these Taylor cuts have received an average score between 6-7, they've been scored fairly on the whole!
The real enemy is you actually x
Taylor singing But Daddy I Love Him to the Swifties:
The girls tanking 90% of TTPD but randomly giving Florida!!! a 9 because it features Florence is very much giving
she/her
Fortnight is my lowest TTPD score and should have vacated long ago.
The Bolter and Fresh Out The Slammer are both 7.5s to me. I could see both growing more on me fter a few more plays. There's still much worse here though. You girls are just doing too much on the album.
Also, Fortnight's outro alone should guarantee a Top 40 placement, but I know for sure it will be existing soon.
Also, Fortnight's outro alone should guarantee a Top 40 placement, but I know for sure it will be existing soon.
he/him
Florence would have ate on So Long London.
Florida!!! isn't really a great song, but I like to think Taylor saw that comment about "'Slut!' sounds more like 'Slut...'" and decided to give it some pulse. It's sort of Shein HB³ Florence C-Side. It just needed more unhinged screams in a very "Who's Afraid..." way, but I like the subtle switch up between verses, bridge and chorus.
He/Him
Sometimes you get your fave on new music and you hit the accelerator to 10. Worth it for those backing vocals alone. I do wish it was more High as Hope and less Dance Fever (jack leave our white ladies alone !!!) Speaking of Dance Fever, “King” clears the majority of TTPD and tackles a similar concept more concisely and affecting.
In the early phase of getting to know the Tortured album it was difficult to remember how the songs went just by looking at the many titles. However, The Bolter always stood out, especially because of the line "she runs like it's a race," which I love how Taylor sings it.
Is it just me? But - when I hear the lines "all her fucking lives, flashed before her eyes" my mind always follows it with "champagne problems." They don't even sound that alike.
Is it just me? But - when I hear the lines "all her fucking lives, flashed before her eyes" my mind always follows it with "champagne problems." They don't even sound that alike.
HIGHEST
10 x 1 (@Music Is Life & Death), 9.5 x 1 (@Slice of Life)
LOWEST
2 x 1 (@Purple), 3 x 1 (@Solenciennes)
The hilarious part of Short 'n' Sweet isn't that a third of it was inspired by Shawn Mendes, of all people, it's that a third of it was inspired by how damn DUMB he apparently is. If anything, this himbo status adds some...dimension, maybe?...to a painfully bland public personality. Shawn, if you're reading this - and maybe you are! You've got a lot of time nowadays! - the comeback should lean into the vapid persona. Put on a harness. Give us your brat. Sabrina's already exposed you, just embrace it.
The other funny part about all these Shawn songs is that he didn't inspire particularly great music, either. Sharpest Tool does, however, broach the question: sure, he thinks you don't notice him leading you on, but if you do and you fall for him anyway...what's that make you? The way Sabrina glosses over the first syllable in 'dumbfounded' to emphasize the second instead, and then slides into the repetitive "we never talk about it...", is some effectively smart writing in a song about dumb decisions. The plunking, yearning production evokes nostalgia, as well - the frustration you feel when you wonder, well, what if they hadn't ghosted me? Wait, no, that's longing for something that never happened. That's stupid. No, they're stupid. But...
The titular dull tool seems to have struck a nerve with a few of you, at least: despite its lack of 10s, it received sixteen 9s.
What I really want to know, though, is the story behind Shawn Mendes finding God at Camila Cabello's house. Was it like that scene from The Fabelmans? And that was before the album that had her doing PCP in South Beach or whatever? What did he say to these girls?!