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I hate you ffff.
BIG POP GIRLS 2024
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Get out.
HIGHEST
10 x 31 (@RetroPhysical, @cosmicfox, @Music Is Life & Death, @Purple, @Lapras, @Smooth Criminal, @happiestgirl, @sexercise, @Petty Mayonnaise, @Lila, @Subwaykid, @sapnu puas, @unnameable, @Domino, @VertigoStick, @Remyky22, @aux, @Dynamo, @CIOB, @motorbike, @CuteStuff, @citoig, @Ashling92, @bad karma, @Atletico, @boom bazooka joe, @savilizabeths, @Slice of Life, @Robsolete, @Rhubarb, @Dangerous Maknae)
LOWEST
4 x 2 (@beyoncésweave, @CorgiCorgiCorgi), 5 x 3 (@eliminathan, @Beautiful Child 2, @Trouble in Paradise)
Oop! With two eliminations, Sabrina's remaining songs get cut in half. Only 'Taste' and 'Espresso' remain. Luckily, you can still enjoy the taste of espresso whilst pregnant - in moderation, of course - so you wayward gerls don't have to worry.
Because, it's 'Juno'! No longer just the movie that got Diablo Cody her Oscar, but now a song about - and I know this comes as a shock - Sabrina being horny. Specifically SO horny that she fantasizes about a genetically blessed boy knocking her up. Or, if we're being polite like the folks over at Genius: "It's about the excitement of a passionate relationship and the possibility of deepening that bond." Yes, a child would certainly deepen the bond of a relationship, or at least so I'm told!
As a professional fantasist - fantasizer? - myself, I do appreciate Sabrina's raunch here. Yas, cast yourself as the lead of your own romantic comedy! Make shit up in your mind! It's all so laughably extreme that by the time Sabrina openly declares she's "so fuckin' horny," it's not even mildly shocking. We know, sis. But kudos for a fresh approach to the de-Disneyfication that every pop starlet from the Mouse House must endure in some capacity. Assless chaps are out, twerking on Robin Thicke is over. Somehow, straight up telling a man to fit his "package" in there and impregnate you - something people have been doing since the dawn of time - feels almost...new?
And really, most importantly for me and this audience...FUCK, is this one catchy. That pre-chorus! That driving '80s rock drum! Delightful, delicious. "You make me wanna make you fall in love" is a GREAT pop lyric, too. So very Jepsen. "Have you ever tried this one" has also been spotted in many a TikTok reel, most recently in Paris where an Eiffel Tower was simulated. Plus my friend's wife announced her pregnancy with a "one of me is cute, but two though?" Instagram caption so, y'know, the song has definitely made a mark.
I had a huge dinner so I was actually Juno as I wrote this.
he/him
Relistening to these two Sabrina cuts as I had completely forgotten them after rating, and I mean they're fine (and I wasn't one of the low scorers for either) but BPG-worthy? Top 40 in this BPG year?
I gave 10s to all of them but I'm surprised at the forum preferring Taste over these 2. Juno has a massive chorus and it's one of those underdogs that the gays will always mention as the single that got away. I thought those are qualities that could get you a top 10 placement on this forum.
Any/All
Juno may actually have overtaken Taste as my favorite Short n Sweet track, it's just so joyous and perfect. The Hummingbird Heartbeat, Carly Rae Jepsen, endearing quirkiness of it all, it's genuinely funny, pure and sweet. It also has something that not many Sabrina tracks have, and that is a fucking bridge!!!
RainOnFire
Staff member
Juno is a really well-constructed pop song and the hooks/production are rock-solid, but I had to deduct points because using the name of a pregnant teenager to express how horny you are is just a little too weird for me aksdjfajkl
But on a more bittersweet note, I think it showcases that there are producers and writers out there who could've really helped Katy deliver something great. We don't need to relitigate that mess again, but I just remember my first thought hearing Juno was that it was like a lost Teenage Dream smash, and then how not a single one of those elements that sounded so classically Katy were present when we got 143 a month later even though that was billed as being a return to the Teenage Dream sound (among many other conflicting claims).
But on a more bittersweet note, I think it showcases that there are producers and writers out there who could've really helped Katy deliver something great. We don't need to relitigate that mess again, but I just remember my first thought hearing Juno was that it was like a lost Teenage Dream smash, and then how not a single one of those elements that sounded so classically Katy were present when we got 143 a month later even though that was billed as being a return to the Teenage Dream sound (among many other conflicting claims).
he/him
Someone on Bluesky described Sabrina’s vibe for this era as “I am engaged in psychosexual warfare with every man in my path and I will win,” and I don’t think that vibe comes across stronger in any other track than Juno and Taste.
The coffee song can go whenever.
The coffee song can go whenever.
Waking up to 150 notifications
HIGHEST: 11x1 (@boom bazooka joe)
10x33 (@TheOnlyOne @Cutlery @Joe. @Mirwais Ahmadzaï @BubblegumBoy @Applause @Stradiwhovius @Jonathan27 @Dijah @maverick_79 @Gabeee9292 @Remyky22 @eliminathan @Consideration @savilizabeths @Daniel_O @reputation. @Slice of Life @Mr Blonde @rdp @Monkey Meat @Denemarken @Heartthrob @Wills @sexercise @sesita @ohnostalgia @fatyoshi @Jersey @Atletico @Petty Mayonnaise @Sail On @Robert)
LOWEST: 4x1 (@dirtypony)
If you had told me just over a year ago that a COUNTRY BALLAD - even one helmed by an artist with as much of a bulletproof catalogue as Beyoncé - was in pretty hot contention for a prime placement in a Big Pop Girls rate, I would've genuinely laughed in your face. But against all odds, the sheer power of this emotional ballad saw it scrapping hard for a high placement, claiming a position as high as #6 early on in the voting process, then taking a dramatic tumble, and finally clawing its way back to a very respectable #31. Not bad for a girl with such a low BPM, particularly coming off the back of the fizzing Brat in the running order of the rate's playlist.
It was interesting that 16 Carriages was paired with Texas Hold 'Em as Beyoncé's first joint-lead single since Self-Titled - whilst the latter felt like showcasing the real wealth of sounds and themes explored on the 2013 album, the entry to Cowboy Carter felt like it came with more trepidation. Beyoncé's first full-length country project saw her spread-betting two very different approaches to the genre, and launching with the fire of a captive Super Bowl Halftime show behind her - quite different to the relatively understated approach towards Break My Soul and Renaissance in general. But it made a lot of sense - Texas, while catchy, showcased a pretty surface-level Beyoncé with not much tethering the song to the wider messaging of the project but clearly being the most accessible entry point of branding for the project as a whole. This left a long, winding path for 16 Carriages to bear the brunt of the emotional weight (and general acclaim), which felt much more in-keeping with the rest of the album at large.
Weight is definitely the correct word to use in reference to 16 Carriages. Capturing the general essence of an African American work song, 16 Carriages is a shuddering, impactful track that - alongside the opener, Ameriican Requiem - sets the stage for Cowboy Carter as a grand, sweeping, mammoth western epic. As we all very well know, Beyoncé is very much at home on both minimal, paired back productions and commanding a full-scale aural extravaganza through the sheer power of her vocals alone, but she plays 16 Carriages a little differently. In the second-half of the track, backed by some of the most towering production she's ever put her name to, Beyoncé continues to opt for generally light, wistful vocals that are stacked like a heavenly southern gospel choral arrangement.
Whilst that it would be extremely difficult to argue that Beyoncé doesn't (now) lead a pretty enchanted life and status that very few people could even dream of ascending to, it would be foolish to deny the sacrifices she's likely made to get there. 16 Carriages helps to scratch at Beyoncé's veneer, as she laments at the loss of her youthful innocence and the responsibilities and burdens that were place upon her shoulders during her teenager years as essentially being her family's main breadwinner. In an interview back in 2021 - a year or so after 16 Carriages was presumably written given the '38 summers' line - she said the following:
'I felt as a young Black woman that I couldn’t mess up. I felt the pressure from the outside and their eyes watching for me to trip or fail. I couldn’t let my family down after all the sacrifices they made for me and the girls. That meant I was the most careful, professional teenager and I grew up fast. I wanted to break all of the stereotypes of the Black superstar, whether falling victim to drugs or alcohol or the absurd misconception that Black women were angry. I knew I was given this amazing opportunity and felt like I had one shot. I refused to mess it up, but I had to give up a lot.'
I can appreciate the good nature in which they're often intended, but with this in mind, those clips of Beyoncé's supposed 'diva' moments during her time in Destiny's Child don't always sit right with me.
There's a really interesting juxtaposition in the song's composition between the almost dirge-like beat slowly reaching its conclusion, and the oft-rapid fire verbal passages - like a pulling and pushing between the frantic urgency of having to achieve and grow, underpinned by the relentless passage of time. It all combines into a very effective package, one that further lifts the veil on the inner psyche of music's greatest titan whilst simultaneously proving her hand once again at yet another facet of the full palette of music genres. At this point, I don't think there's anything she couldn't master.
@boom bazooka joe agrees: 'My 11 almost went to "Guilty as Sin?," but last.fm told me that 16 Carriages was my most listened to (non K-Pop) song of the year, and it put into perspective how much this song had a hold on me this year. In a career built on surprises and one upping herself, the double release of this and "Texas Hold 'Em" as an entry way to this new era was truly a defining moment in Beyonce's career. It's one of her most affecting lyrical output, her most arresting story told through song, -- it's perfect from beginning to end. Plus, not that I had any true worry, but this song proved from Day 1 how easily and seemlessly Beyonce's voice and talent would slide into the country genre with effortless grace and reckless abandon. She really is one of a kind.'
Last edited:
he/him
HIGHEST
10 x 31 (@RetroPhysical, @cosmicfox, @Music Is Life & Death, @Purple, @Lapras, @Smooth Criminal, @happiestgirl, @sexercise, @Petty Mayonnaise, @Lila, @Subwaykid, @sapnu puas, @unnameable, @Domino, @VertigoStick, @Remyky22, @aux, @Dynamo, @CIOB, @motorbike, @CuteStuff, @citoig, @Ashling92, @bad karma, @Atletico, @boom bazooka joe, @savilizabeths, @Slice of Life, @Robsolete, @Rhubarb, @Dangerous Maknae)
LOWEST
4 x 2 (@beyoncésweave, @CorgiCorgiCorgi), 5 x 3 (@eliminathan, @Beautiful Child 2, @Trouble in Paradise)
Oop! With two eliminations, Sabrina's remaining songs get cut in half. Only 'Taste' and 'Espresso' remain. Luckily, you can still enjoy the taste of espresso whilst pregnant - in moderation, of course - so you wayward gerls don't have to worry.
Because, it's 'Juno'! No longer just the movie that got Diablo Cody her Oscar, but now a song about - and I know this comes as a shock - Sabrina being horny. Specifically SO horny that she fantasizes about a genetically blessed boy knocking her up. Or, if we're being polite like the folks over at Genius: "It's about the excitement of a passionate relationship and the possibility of deepening that bond." Yes, a child would certainly deepen the bond of a relationship, or at least so I'm told!
As a professional fantasist - fantasizer? - myself, I do appreciate Sabrina's raunch here. Yas, cast yourself as the lead of your own romantic comedy! Make shit up in your mind! It's all so laughably extreme that by the time Sabrina openly declares she's "so fuckin' horny," it's not even mildly shocking. We know, sis. But kudos for a fresh approach to the de-Disneyfication that every pop starlet from the Mouse House must endure in some capacity. Assless chaps are out, twerking on Robin Thicke is over. Somehow, straight up telling a man to fit his "package" in there and impregnate you - something people have been doing since the dawn of time - feels almost...new?
And really, most importantly for me and this audience...FUCK, is this one catchy. That pre-chorus! That driving '80s rock drum! Delightful, delicious. "You make me wanna make you fall in love" is a GREAT pop lyric, too. So very Jepsen. "Have you ever tried this one" has also been spotted in many a TikTok reel, most recently in Paris where an Eiffel Tower was simulated. Plus my friend's wife announced her pregnancy with a "one of me is cute, but two though?" Instagram caption so, y'know, the song has definitely made a mark.
Whoops-a-daisy! Got out before I did!
he/him
HIGHEST: 11x1 (@boom bazooka joe)
10x33 (@TheOnlyOne @Cutlery @Joe. @Mirwais Ahmadzaï @BubblegumBoy @Applause @Stradiwhovius @Jonathan27 @Dijah @maverick_79 @Gabeee9292 @Remyky22 @eliminathan @Consideration @savilizabeths @Daniel_O @reputation. @Slice of Life @Mr Blonde @rdp @Monkey Meat @Denemarken @Heartthrob @Wills @sexercise @sesita @ohnostalgia @fatyoshi @Jersey @Atletico @Petty Mayonnaise @Sail On @Robert)
LOWEST: 4x1 (@dirtypony)
If you had told me just over a year ago that a COUNTRY BALLAD - even one helmed by an artist with as much of a bulletproof catalogue as Beyoncé - was in pretty hot contention for a prime placement in a Big Pop Girls rate, I would've genuinely laughed in your face. But against all odds, the sheer power of this emotional ballad saw it scrapping hard for a high placement, claiming a position as high as #6 early on in the voting process, then taking a dramatic tumble, and finally clawing its way back to a very respectable #31. Not bad for a girl with such a low BPM, particularly coming off the back of the fizzing Brat in the running order of the rate's playlist.
It was interesting that 16 Carriages was paired with Texas Hold 'Em as Beyoncé's first joint-lead single since Self-Titled - whilst the latter felt like showcasing the real wealth of sounds and themes explored on the 2013 album, the entry to Cowboy Carter felt like it came with more trepidation. Beyoncé's first full-length country project saw her spread-betting two very different approaches to the genre, and launching with the fire of a captive Super Bowl Halftime show behind her - quite different to the relatively understated approach towards Break My Soul and Renaissance in general. But it made a lot of sense - Texas, while catchy, showcased a pretty surface-level Beyoncé with not much tethering the song to the wider messaging of the project but clearly being the most accessible entry point of branding for the project as a whole. This left a long, winding path for 16 Carriages to bear the brunt of the emotional weight (and general acclaim), which felt much more in-keeping with the rest of the album at large.
Weight is definitely the correct word to use in reference to 16 Carriages. Capturing the general essence of an African American work song, 16 Carriages is a shuddering, impactful track that - alongside the opener, Ameriican Requiem - sets the stage for Cowboy Carter as a grand, sweeping, mammoth western epic. As we all very well know, Beyoncé is very much at home on both minimal, paired back productions and commanding a full-scale aural extravaganza through the sheer power of her vocals alone, but she plays 16 Carriages a little differently. In the second-half of the track, backed by some of the most towering production she's ever put her name to, Beyoncé continues to opt for generally light, wistful vocals that are stacked like a heavenly southern gospel choral arrangement.
Whilst that it would be extremely difficult to argue that Beyoncé doesn't (now) lead a pretty enchanted life and status that very few people could even dream of ascending to, it would be foolish to deny the sacrifices she's likely made to get there. 16 Carriages helps to scratch at Beyoncé's veneer, as she laments at the loss of her youthful innocence and the responsibilities and burdens that were place upon her shoulders during her teenager years as essentially being her family's main breadwinner. In an interview back in 2021 - a year or so after 16 Carriages was presumably written given the '38 summers' line - she said the following:
'I felt as a young Black woman that I couldn’t mess up. I felt the pressure from the outside and their eyes watching for me to trip or fail. I couldn’t let my family down after all the sacrifices they made for me and the girls. That meant I was the most careful, professional teenager and I grew up fast. I wanted to break all of the stereotypes of the Black superstar, whether falling victim to drugs or alcohol or the absurd misconception that Black women were angry. I knew I was given this amazing opportunity and felt like I had one shot. I refused to mess it up, but I had to give up a lot.'
I can appreciate the good nature in which they're often intended, but with this in mind, those clips of Beyoncé's supposed 'diva' moments during her time in Destiny's Child don't always sit right with me.
There's a really interesting juxtaposition in the song's composing between the almost dirge-like beat slowly reaching its conclusion, and the oft-rapid fire verbal passages - like a pulling and pushing between the frantic urgency of having to achieve and grow, underpinned by the relentless passage of time. It all combines into a very effective package, one that further lifts the veil on the inner psyche of music's greatest titan whilst simultaneously proving her hand once again at yet another facet of the full palette of music genres. At this point, I don't think there's anything she couldn't master.
@boom bazooka joe agrees: 'My 11 almost went to "Guilty as Sin?," but last.fm told me that 16 Carriages was my most listened to (non K-Pop) song of the year, and it put into perspective how much this song had a hold on me this year. In a career built on surprises and one upping herself, the double release of this and "Texas Hold 'Em" as an entry way to this new era was truly a defining moment in Beyonce's career. It's one of her most affecting lyrical output, her most arresting story told through song, -- it's perfect from beginning to end. Plus, not that I had any true worry, but this song proved from Day 1 how easily and seemlessly Beyonce's voice and talent would slide into the country genre with effortless grace and reckless abandon. She really is one of a kind.'
What?!?!?!? Both sub-9's in a row! Hahaha!
He/Him/His
God, I love 16 CARRIAGES. Thought it was just fine when the singles dropped. Then something shifted. Was it the chill of autumn, the Christmas halftime, the TikTok memes honoring the song's climax? The way it drudges along before exploding under its own weight... chills. The production is excellent, the instrumentation is rousing, and the lyricism is a master class in country storytelling — and country ballad, sure, yet it's just as much a sweeping indie-folk epic. This is for the girls who love the Canadian indie scene. Thank you, Dave!