Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by CorgiCorgiCorgi, May 20, 2019.
First reveal tomorrow!
Is everyone ready to go?
My score is based on this too! XXX
I think this is the most last-minute I’ve ever been with my scores, but I managed to get it in at midnight!
First two eliminations, hot off the press!
59. Chaperone (4.82)
high scores: 9 (@VivaForever)
low scores: 1 (@Reboot @əʊæ)
Our first song out is a single from Desire. Yeah out of all the songs on Desire they released this one as a single, I don't get it either.
There's potential for a good song here, but the unnecessary vocal effects and plinky Fisher Price piano really drag the song down. As it stands, it sounds like a forgotten Postal Service demo. That last 30 seconds or so is honestly quite painful and I don't understand what they were going for.
@RUNAWAY (4) isn't a fan: "seriously, what even were they thinking with this song? goddamn that’s bad." @OspreyQueen (3) agrees: "I haven’t the faintest idea what they were going for with this one, but whatever it is it doesn’t work. It’s bizarre and boring at the same time."
@abael (3) gasps, "What the? This is low energy teenybopper stuff." @Untouchable Ace (4.8) declares, "This hollow genre of pop should not be popular." Shots fired at (insert your least favorite group here)!
@Reboot (1) has similar thoughts: "You know why I fell in love with Hurts? Because I could actually stomach their love songs. Songs like Stay are about love, yes, but they’re written in such a way that I can actually find something beautiful and relatable in them. But most of the love songs on Desire are … disposable. I don’t “get” them. This song in particular can go jump off a cliff. What a mess."
@berserkoi (8.2) was a bit more positive, calling it a "nice enough song but not on par with previous eras". High scorer @VivaForever (9) has a real /r/tipofmytongue situation: "The opening piano line in this really reminds me of something I can’t place." Any suggestions?
@londonrain (6) called it "a very odd choice of single, given that it sounds like a glorified interlude. Yes to the piano, a big no to the vocoder." Speaking of interludes...
58. Verona (5.06)
high scores: 10 (@Remorque)
low scores: 0 (@VivaForever)
Verona is a drowsy, vaguely-operatic sea shanty that manages to go nowhere and all over the place at the same time. Props to them for trying something this strange, especially on their debut album; but in an album as perfect as Happiness, this one sticks out like a sore thumb.
@Reboot (5) admits, "I usually skip this song. I hate the chorus." This was a new discovery for @Untouchable Ace (6.2): "This must have been hidden from me for years I knew it was there but didn't." And @abael (5) says it's "played a bit straight, like a bad musical."
@VivaForever (0) is probably glad to see this one go! "Theo’s accent in this song, especially on the word ‘Verona,’ actually causes me physical pain."
But not everyone disliked it. @berserkboi (9.8) namedrops a post-punk legend: "Reminds me of the work of Jean-Jacques Burnel on the Gankutsuou soundtrack – very impressive!"
Two more eliminations tomorrow! As always, let me know if I messed up any of your scores/commentary. It will happen, I basically guarantee it.
I’m not entirely sure why @Reboot is dragging Desire’s love songs in their commentary for Verona, but work, I guess?
I’m not particularly bothered about either of these songs going but there is definitely worse left in the running.
Also, @Untouchable Ace - maybe you ignored it because it’s a hidden track on the CD and you didn’t hang around for long enough after The Water to listen to it?
That's probably because I copy/pasted it into the wrong elimination! Fixing that ASAP.
Good to see Chaperone gone, blech. Although I didn't love Verona I thought it deserved to make top 50.
Oh wasn't expecting a single to leave first. Not even this one
I’m more surprised that a Happiness track left so early. I thought the bottom ten would be a parade of Exile and Desire cuts.
Chaperone is exactly the worst thing they've ever done and it was indeed the lowest score I gave out. There's something there, but the execution is fucking ridiculous. And not in a good way.
Verona's out? Oh, come on! That one takes itself way too seriously so that it makes it all the way around to completely bonkers again. It's faux-opera at its finest and I love Theo's weird performance. And I love shouting out the title even more.
I hate this rate.
My Jean-Jacques Burnel connection leaves already?? That is criminal!! @Ana Raquel - we must save it on the Anime Rate!!
I like both songs, but can't be too salty about their placement.
I've slept about seven hours and I'm still kinda reeling.
Sometimes I feel, you know?
You are correct.
Those two eliminations are perfect. I'm not someone who gives out 1s easily, but Chaperone is just dreadful.
57. Surrender (5.49)
high scores: 9.1 (@berserkboi)
low scores: 0 (@VivaForever)
We lose a title track! Surrender is a short choral piece, just over a minute long, and about 75% of the lyrics are the word “surrender”. So it’s pretty much what it says on the tin.
I always listen to this whenever I listen to the album, because it sets the scene decently enough. But I never actively seek it out. Which I guess is par for the course for an interlude.
I'm guessing @VivaForever (0) is happy to see this one go: "This is a prelude rather than a proper song (Janet would be proud!), so I want it to go out first, hence the 0." @OspreyQueen (1) agrees, declaring this "an utterly pointless piece of music, that’s especially insulting after their previous two album openers were so good."
@abael (6), on the other hand, calls it a "decent intro." "This is cute," says @londonrain (6), "but is Theo even on this?" @saviodxl (5.5) has "Mixed feelings about this track that should be named "Intro" instead."
@berserkboi (9.1) calls it "euphoric" and @Untouchable Ace (8.7) dubs it "a moment for their backing singer who has seemingly always been around. This is my chance to suggest you listen to 'Jeanny' in which Theo sings in sex voice."
56. Boyfriend (5.66)
high scores: 10 (@roborovsky)
low scores: 1 (@Reboot)
This Prince-by-way-of-Chromeo number definitely doesn’t sound like your typical Hurts song. The lyrics aren't great, to say the least, and the funk-disco sound doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the album. But it’s a quick enough listen, and it sounds like they were having a lot of fun recording it, so it gets middling marks from me.
@tylerc904 (7) came the closest to a positive comment, so we'll start there: "I don’t mind this but it is probably the only one that makes me really think “I cannot believe Hurts is singing this”. A light bop tho!"
@Untouchable Ace (3.2) calls it "derivative and embarrassing" and @berserkboi (5.4) criticized the "cringey lyrics on top of it all." And @londonrain (6.5) is just baffled: "A Prince-lite song covering the theme of the Black Kids’ I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You? Okay, I guess."
@VivaForever (6) references another fallen tune: "Theo seriously sounds like Robbie here, thanks in large part to the falsetto. The lyrics honestly make me uncomfortable... they’re a bit Nice Guy™-ish, yeah? Especially coming right after the similarly-themed (but softer-edged) Chaperone." Dammit, now I want a Hurts/Robbie Williams duet.
@OspreyQueen (4) also had Thoughts about the lyrics. "If you told me in 2013 that Hurts would one day release a song with the lyric “I can be a tenant if your body’s for rent”, I’d have set fire to my stan card there and then. That said, the production’s pretty funky so I’m generously giving this a 4." @abael (6) praised the "fun instrumentation" but dinged it for "crap lyrics".
This song caused @RUNAWAY (3) explode into a fireball of rage: "this song literally sounds like something M****n 5 would release. I HATE THIS." And @saviodxl (7.25) agrees with at least half of that statement: "Maroon 5 found shook again."
So far, we've lost songs from Desire, Happiness, and Surrender. Somehow, Exile is the last album to remain untouched! Let's see if that streak keeps up tomorrow with the next two eliminations...
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