BPG 2019 - THE END
- Thread starter RJF
- Start date
64
SCORE: 3.414
HIGHEST SCORE: 8 x 3 (@theelusivechanteuse, @Sprockrooster, @Lost Boy)
LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 30 (@Dijah., @Music Is Life, @ufint, @eccentricsimply, @citoig, @UncleDeSeanAli, @allyshone, @Blond, @sexercise, @ohnostalgia, @GimmeWork, @Trouble in Paradise, @Ana Raquel, @AlmightyAloud, @Petty Mayonnaise, @Verandi, @djmakemewet, @Mirwais Ahmadzaï, @Hurricane Drunk, @inevitable, @Bangers&Bops, @Phonetics Boy, @Robsolete, @savilizabeths, @BEST FICTION, @BTG, @Trinu 3.0, @reputation., @Laurence, @japanbonustrack)
Hello, 'tis I, Laurzipan Vaughn-Mammary, your illustrious co-host/spiritual guide, here to provide all the tact, respect, and good taste that my esteemed collaborator doesn't possess.
But first, Senorita.
Dear ones, this is the forum that said Charli XCX was one of the top five pop stars of the last decade, so for a moment I thought that terrifying and somewhat undeserved lol level of devotion might boost Senorita up a few notches. After all, Charli co-wrote the damn thing, and if there's one things stans love, it's shit that makes their faves money. You cannot imagine how much Moist Diane I still have to work my way through.
On top of that, this somewhat boring song cannibalized the other 38 somewhat boring songs Camila released in the run-up to her somewhat boring album, and since she's a forum hate figure nowadays, maybe all you urchins could've thrown a couple more points its way as a thank you. I mean, between the album sales and the racist Tumblr, she had literally one fan left to sing to at the Grammys, and he really had no choice but to be there.
But no, you all rained hellfire down on Cawn in the form of thirty zeroes. Not even Subwaykid could muster up a high score for it, and he's been known to put on a wig and sing Stitches to himself in the mirror while he cries. But I'm sure he was horrifically jealous of Cammy and her constant proximity to Shawn's molars, which was why he lowballed it kii with a 7. Oh, right, did you forget that Camila and Shawn are dating? They are dating, you guys. They are dating the everloving fuck out of each other. They are the new Justin and Britney, the new Justin and Hailey, the new Justin and Trudeau, and they will prove it to you by tongue-blasting each other's baloney holes at every California Pizza Kitchen and rooftop infinity pool and Delta Comfort Plus cabin they can get their hands on. I almost put one of those Lynchian performances as the cover art, and then I thought to myself, no. Let's celebrate talent. Let's celebrate success.
To be fair, this song was successful. It's platinum, and it went #1 - Shawn's first and Camila's second. It's just...kinda meh. They tried to make it not meh with a string of sexless performances that only emphasized the (rather bizarre) fact that Camila and Shawn have absolutely no fucking chemistry. They romped around every stage that would have them in Q4, draped in gauzy Streetcar Named Desire cosplay and covered in baby oil, and they never got any better. Shawn always had that guitar at the ready like it was a goddamn deflector shield.
Then again...hard to blame him.
SCORE: 3.414
HIGHEST SCORE: 8 x 3 (@theelusivechanteuse, @Sprockrooster, @Lost Boy)
LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 30 (@Dijah., @Music Is Life, @ufint, @eccentricsimply, @citoig, @UncleDeSeanAli, @allyshone, @Blond, @sexercise, @ohnostalgia, @GimmeWork, @Trouble in Paradise, @Ana Raquel, @AlmightyAloud, @Petty Mayonnaise, @Verandi, @djmakemewet, @Mirwais Ahmadzaï, @Hurricane Drunk, @inevitable, @Bangers&Bops, @Phonetics Boy, @Robsolete, @savilizabeths, @BEST FICTION, @BTG, @Trinu 3.0, @reputation., @Laurence, @japanbonustrack)
Hello, 'tis I, Laurzipan Vaughn-Mammary, your illustrious co-host/spiritual guide, here to provide all the tact, respect, and good taste that my esteemed collaborator doesn't possess.
But first, Senorita.
Dear ones, this is the forum that said Charli XCX was one of the top five pop stars of the last decade, so for a moment I thought that terrifying and somewhat undeserved lol level of devotion might boost Senorita up a few notches. After all, Charli co-wrote the damn thing, and if there's one things stans love, it's shit that makes their faves money. You cannot imagine how much Moist Diane I still have to work my way through.
On top of that, this somewhat boring song cannibalized the other 38 somewhat boring songs Camila released in the run-up to her somewhat boring album, and since she's a forum hate figure nowadays, maybe all you urchins could've thrown a couple more points its way as a thank you. I mean, between the album sales and the racist Tumblr, she had literally one fan left to sing to at the Grammys, and he really had no choice but to be there.
But no, you all rained hellfire down on Cawn in the form of thirty zeroes. Not even Subwaykid could muster up a high score for it, and he's been known to put on a wig and sing Stitches to himself in the mirror while he cries. But I'm sure he was horrifically jealous of Cammy and her constant proximity to Shawn's molars, which was why he lowballed it kii with a 7. Oh, right, did you forget that Camila and Shawn are dating? They are dating, you guys. They are dating the everloving fuck out of each other. They are the new Justin and Britney, the new Justin and Hailey, the new Justin and Trudeau, and they will prove it to you by tongue-blasting each other's baloney holes at every California Pizza Kitchen and rooftop infinity pool and Delta Comfort Plus cabin they can get their hands on. I almost put one of those Lynchian performances as the cover art, and then I thought to myself, no. Let's celebrate talent. Let's celebrate success.
To be fair, this song was successful. It's platinum, and it went #1 - Shawn's first and Camila's second. It's just...kinda meh. They tried to make it not meh with a string of sexless performances that only emphasized the (rather bizarre) fact that Camila and Shawn have absolutely no fucking chemistry. They romped around every stage that would have them in Q4, draped in gauzy Streetcar Named Desire cosplay and covered in baby oil, and they never got any better. Shawn always had that guitar at the ready like it was a goddamn deflector shield.
Then again...hard to blame him.
he/him
this could be us but you're playing
He/Him/His
I would've given this dumbass song a 0 even before I knew she was a racist with a hard R
I hate saying this, but imagine if P!nk's album was included? There would've been even more 0's.
And a lot fewer voters nn
I don't think there'd be that many more. Plenty of low scores sure, but I don't really see it getting a lot of 0s, it's not like there's anything like Revenge on it.
NN I thought an 8 would keep me from being exposed. I can't stand by Camila, or Shawn, but it did give us this:
That's true, actually. This would've been a more plausible situation:
Funny coincidence is that I heard "Can We Pretend" on the radio today for the second time since it was released.
That one would've been a bottom 10 contender, I think. (saying 'I think' because I haven't heard Taylor's latest album, maybe there are 10 songs on "Lover" weaker than it)
A nice cup of tea. <3
@Laura Vanderbooben finding a way to get a ton of likes on a post containing a Charli drag... her mind.
