BPG 2019 - THE END

Sprockrooster

Sprockrooster

K94 said:
Is 'You Need To Calm Down' the earliest an 11 has gone kikikikiki
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soratami said:
Y'all wanted a twist?
#82
Patricia Kaas - Et S'il Fallait Le Faire
5,974
11 @Sprockrooster​
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eccentricsimply

eccentricsimply

Staff member
they/them
RJF said:
The reasons why "You Need To Calm Down" is awful are deep. Y'all remember when Lady Gaga emerged as a vocal, consistent supporter of LGBTQ+ and... was raked over the coals for it? By the community? The biggest popstar in the world articulately shouting her support from the rooftops in an informed manner and... a large section of queers decided they didn't want her because she was more successful than Britney Spears at the time. That she was simply "pandering" to get sales. That she was fake. That she was shining a light on subjects queer people hated themselves too much to even think about and it made them mad. The absolute trial of fire that a genuine ally had to go through from the community to emerge as one of the defining queer icons of the last decade. Unfair, petty, bizarre... but also at least 5% necessary and 10% understandable?

We should question the motives of allies initially until they prove themselves, because lip service just isn't enough. It's the year 20 fucking 20. Did we really need Taylor's very own, "Firework", "We R Who We R", "Fuckin' Perfect", her very own pacifying pat on the head to a community that have been paying a large part of her bills for her career, ten years after all those other songs came out? And six months later she's getting a fucking GLAAD award? Nuh uh. No. I wasn't having it; not with that career defined by choices coming from a purely financially/commercially expedient place. When being a popstar is now rightfully synonymous with being a queer ally and shouldn't even raise any eyebrows when the latter is revealed. It couldn't have been an easier time to do what she did. Same with how she bravely came out as a Democrat the day after her STADIUM tour wrapped in the US. Odious.

That's not even touching the middle-eight where suddenly plays innocent in saying all pop girls are born equal like she didn't actively court press by inciting tensions with one for a good part of the decade. This is the problem with Taylor in a nutshell: these things would be fine and great if there was maybe an acknowledge of her not really playing ball with these issues in the past. A bit of... contrition for a career spent quietly eating her food, occasionally putting rat poison in people's dishes while some diners while dragged away from the table. But no. She rocks up as if she's never done a thing wrong, that she is now the poster girl of How To Ally With Minorities, and we're all supposed to gobble it up. Like, how brave of Taylor Swift to explicitly finally come out as a decent person, complete with Gay 101 pop music video. It's yet again an example of her getting the most acclaim by doing the absolute least... and trying to appropriate a bit of the queer struggle for herself in the process. The audacity. Girl, just make your cute donations and fuck off.

ANYWAY.​

The rate's been on a simmer for these first few days, so let's turn up the heat today. I'll be bringing you six eliminations across the day to take us to the Top 56. What songs are for the chopping block?
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Can I add to all of this one of the things that made me annoyed the most that was that You Need to Calm Down is also a video catering to a very specific part of the LGBTQ+ community aka the white gay binary males with some token people outside of that realm. It’s literally a white straight rich liberal woman’s view of what the LGBTQ+ community is and a desperate shout for someone to stand by her because look how great of an ally she is, she’s finally telling people to sign a petition after over a decade in the industry. What has she ever done for LGBTQ+ people outside of that? Had she even acknowledged our existence beyond maybe a tweet and inviting Ruby Rose, Todrick Hall and Ellen Degeneres to her cook out?

It was a desperate cry for support from a marginalized community that she still managed to make it all about herself. It was the cherry on the cake of Taylor’s bullshit.

And the song is shit.
 
Laura Vanderbooben

Laura Vanderbooben

Solenciennes said:
London Boy is the distillation of every dreamy eyed irritating conversation I’ve had with an 11th Generation descendent from the Mayflower on holiday talking about how they’re from Scahtland and asking what time of year to visit. Shut up!
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I was in the midst of writing the I Failed To Remember Thoust Were Alive post when you put this up but I just want to say how dare you come for me like this!!!!!
 
RJF

RJF

Alright you little pricks let's keep going.

61

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SCORE: 4.149

HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 4 (@ufint @Sprockrooster @Conan @RMK)
LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 17 (@eccentricsimply @BeingNormal @Jwentz @Ana Raquel @Petty Mayonnaise @djmakemewet @Jonathan27 @Hurricane Drunk @Bangers&Bops @Solenciennes @OspreyQueen @Robsolete @BTG @Subwaykid @Laurence @Guy @japanbonustrack)
MY SCORE: 2/10

Is it bad that I'm actually a bit surprised at my own score? I did my scores on the fly just before the rate opened and was the first person on the spreadsheet so I don't even really remember my thought process. I think maybe all the issues I have with the song stem from the person talking feebly over it. Like, it's boring as hell, but it's generally... average if you ignore the exhausted Bieber narrative and the voice on it positively parrying, blocking, and dodging a single musical note.

Honestly, I mostly have nothing but pity for Selena Gomez at this point. Truly, no word of a lie. Everything she tries... she's bad at. Successful at? Obviously. But actually excelling at? The poor girl. I sometimes wonder about the talented person out there somewhere living an ordinary life because the changeling of pop stole their space in the pantheon. She cannot sing, she cannot perform. She cannot write a good song. She cannot act (and is only getting hired by sexual predators). She cannot give a good interview. She cannot even compose a hilarious tweet, which is the prime currency for most of the girls y'all stan on the main forum at the moment whose years in the industry outnumber the amount of songs they've released but the album is coming this year, they swear! It's just... the total collapse of aptitude. Imagine being so horrible at everything you do for a living and imagine having to live with everyone around you obviously knowing it too. Poor thing.

Nothing brought this into sharper focus than when Selena got up on stage at the American Music Awards and the "Lose You To Love Me" instrumental started playing behind her. A changeling exposed! A demon unmasked! I dance around (more than she did) the word "performance" because... well... what happened up there didn't really qualify, did it?

It's delightful when talentlessness exposes itself on national television. I don't think Selena has been sighted in public since. But changelings tend to flee once the jig is up, I guess. Below is the four minute car crash that opened the American Music Awards (which was never uploaded onto any official channel...), and just underneath it is the In Memoriam video they'll play at the Radio Disney Awards this year when eulogising the pop career of one of their most useless alumni. Truly, a worthless presence in pop music. Bye!



​
 
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DJHazey

DJHazey

he/him
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