BPG 2019 - THE END

60

10-London-Boy.jpg


(The fact that this isn't even the worst cover I made... y'all are in for a treat.)

SCORE: 4.68

HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 4 (@happiestgirl @soratami @Weslicious @Subwaykid)
LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 8 (@Blond @Petty Mayonnaise @Cutlery @matthew. @Solenciennes @Mr Blonde @EnsnareTheSenses @LA Hallucinations)
MY SCORE: 2/10

Above: Taylor Swift introduces Nigel Farage at Brexit Party rally in... some shit stain town the media are always sending journalists to so they can interview the angry old racists at the local bridge club.

Only Taylor Swift could release a song with a lyric, "God I love the English." in the same year England did its absolute best to wet itself on the international stage over and over and over and over before security finally removed it. If only they could have liberated Scotland from its greasy backpack before chucking it out into the street.

This song is... the lyrical equivalent of someone thinking they've got London sussed because they've managed to stand on the right of the tube escalator once instead of being stomped into a pulp on the left. It's also such a typically sheltered Taylor Swift outlook too. I don't really know why she keeps turning her writing pen towards cities that she's lived in for a year like she's a native. Songs like this don't really work when you've got six mansions dotted all over the globe, and they certainly don't work from the perspective of one of the most famous people in the world, when every experience they have is... manicured and controlled to a degree. There's a reason people tend to write about their hometowns or places they lived before they famous and that's because... that's pretty much how you get to know a place properly. I mean I guess Pennsylvania isn't nearly as romantic a location as London or New York, but still. At least it would be a unique outlook. Here she's just living her best Made In Chelsea fantasy. Production kinda slaps? That's really it.

She has, of course, already performed it live TWICE, because she's a demon. Once for the Live Lounge, and once for Capital's Jingle Bell Ball. Shout out to the utterly dead crowd in the second performance. Is it only cadavers who buy tickets for these radio events?





How do you get through a song like that with an ounce of dignity? Answer: you don't.

 
Okay now I begin praying for Ava's life as far as the extras go, she'll probably be one of the next from the section but I'm hanging on the hope that the haters didn't hand 0s out to it.
Ava as a popstar is tragic and inessential, but Sweet But Psycho is fine. Not offensive, but not amazing so I think it's safe over the likes of 7 and paper rings...etc.
 
Termination steps won't be taken this time but I am garnishing your wages and giving myself a bonus.
 
60

10-London-Boy.jpg


(The fact that this isn't even the worst cover I made... y'all are in for a treat.)

SCORE: 4.68

HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 4 (@happiestgirl @soratami @Weslicious @Subwaykid)
LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 8 (@Blond @Petty Mayonnaise @Cutlery @matthew. @Solenciennes @Mr Blonde @EnsnareTheSenses @LA Hallucinations)
MY SCORE: 2/10

Above: Taylor Swift introduces Nigel Farage at Brexit Party rally in... some shit stain town the media are always sending journalists to so they can interview the angry old racists at the local bridge club.

Only Taylor Swift could release a song with a lyric, "God I love the English." in the same year England did its absolute best to wet itself on the international stage over and over and over and over before security finally removed it. If only they could have liberated Scotland from its greasy backpack before chucking it out into the street.

This song is... the lyrical equivalent of someone thinking they've got London sussed because they've managed to stand on the right of the tube escalator once instead of being stomped into a pulp on the left. It's also such a typically sheltered Taylor Swift outlook too. I don't really know why she keeps turning her writing pen towards cities that she's lived in for a year like she's a native. Songs like this don't really work when you've got six mansions dotted all over the globe, and they certainly don't work from the perspective of one of the most famous people in the world, when every experience they have is... manicured and controlled to a degree. There's a reason people tend to write about their hometowns or places they lived before they famous and that's because... that's pretty much how you get to know a place properly. I mean I guess Pennsylvania isn't nearly as romantic a location as London or New York, but still. At least it would be a unique outlook. Here she's just living her best Made In Chelsea fantasy. Production kinda slaps? That's really it.

She has, of course, already performed it live TWICE, because she's a demon. Once for the Live Lounge, and once for Capital's Jingle Bell Ball. Shout out to the utterly dead crowd in the second performance. Is it only cadavers who buy tickets for these radio events?





How do you get through a song like that with an ounce of dignity? Answer: you don't.


Me drivin' in...on...my scoo'ah? Uhhhhhh, y'know just ridin' in London.

EvilMealyFrogmouth-size_restricted.gif
 

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