Britney Blackout Tour Suggestions

*This is in no way connected to Britney, her people, her management, or her sister's unborn baby - it is just for fun*

Basically, me and the lovely Eryck Happiness were discussing the tours of Britney, how they were her own creations/ideas and how crazy they were, when we started pitching ideas for a Blackout tour.

To make any possible Blackout tour the most fucked-up thing Britney has ever done, we thought we would invite you all to put forward suggestions. Not too fussy about running orders or set-lists, just sets/themes/costumes/concepts.

For example, instead of the schmaltz of Mama on the Spice Girls tour, Britney would put her children in cages above the stage, flying out into the audience during a dance break-down.

 

She'd utilise her children yet again in a creative role - in this position, they'd design artwork for the backdrops and given free rein for the tour's programme.

She'd have Jesus on stage for 'Heaven On Earth'.

Gay soldiers mincing around for 'Toy Soldier'.

A cover of 'Cry Me A River' sung in a voice reminiscent of Madonna in 'Cry Baby'. In fact, a mash-up of the two.

 

Jesus? She could just have Madonna on her glittery crucifix. And then lez it up.

Ooh, she could get an audience member up for Piece Of Me, dress him up as a paparazzi and then write 'SUCKER' on his head in lipstick, after writhing on him.

 

Whilst wearing no knickers, which would be shot live by a camera man and shown on the screens either side of the stage. She could alternate crotch shots with bloody knickers shots at different dates to keep the fans in suspense.

She'd have to have all manner of bad wigs to go along with the different segments.

 

For Piece Of Me, she'll wear Christina's crotchless chaps with no knickers while having an on-stage orgy with a group of dancers dressed as paps. Halfway through she'll get bored and shave her hair off (wearing a wig, obvnatch).

Freakshow will see her dressed as a slutty clown with a dancer dressed as a ringmaster. She'll writhe around on him/her smearing her clown makeup over her face while being whipped.

The encore will see Britney pretend to comit suicide during the first song of it, and she will sink into a trapdoor in a coffin, only to come down from the ceiling dressed as a knickerless angel, ressurected on Earth (after "three days later" has been shown on the big screen) to compare herself to Jesus. Possibly to Heaven On Earth.

 

Nah, that would be '...Baby One More Time' or 'Oops! I Did It Again', blatently!

 

It should be called the 'dead on arrival' world tour.

 

They don't go with the them of the encore, Poploz. Honestly now!

 

But then she could be all 'Oops! I died!' as only she could.

 

She could sing (You Drive Me) Crazy (The Stop Remix!) with Melissa Joan Hart, whilst both dressed as witches.

Then they could be "burned at the stake", only to come back and sing a mashup of "Piece of Me" (Bimbo Jones Remix) and "Funky Song" from Sabrina The Teenage Witch.

 

But she hasn't died before, so she wouldn't need to sing "oops! I died again" now, would she.

 

Didn't she die in the Everytime video?

 

While shaking her 'whammy fammy'?

She died in Everytime. So there.

Everytime, Blackout-style, would have some kind of montage of press cuttings, showing how she 'falls'.

 

She didn't. She was twatted on the head and almost died. So there.

 

we are on the same page here. i'm impressed.

 

OMGZZZZZZZZ YUR BOF RUNG!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUR NT A TRU FN OV BRTNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I hate "Outrageous" and "My Prerogative".
That makes me a true fan.

 

Scarily accurate.

I reckon she should do a song, don't know which one, where she keeps pulling babies out from under her dress and throwing them aside as she sings. And then lock herself backstage. That should do it!

 

Like a twisted version of Widow Twankey removing her many pairs of knickers in a pantomime?

 

She did die!! In the hospital!!

The end of the video is not the end of the story of the video!