Calling All Heartbeats! The Jessie J Discography Rate [THE MASSACRE CONTINUES... NOW]
- Thread starter Mr. Right
- Start date
D
Deleted member 3416
You're so beautiful Jessie J.
D
Deleted member 3416
When's the massacre continuing?
“there’s enough for you, you, you
there’s enough for me, me, me”
46. Rainbow
Average score: 4.947368421
Highest score: 9 (x1) @Call My Name
Lowest score: 0 (x2) @sexercise @Fever
Sprockrooster | This song had some potential in the intro, but when the chorus comes it is Jessie J all over again.
First2Run | You know when you hear that “Go!” at the beginning of a song you are about to hear some sort of R&B song attempt. I’ll admit the song could have been much worse, but I’m not sure this is a genre she quite fits in. It also ends far too abruptly.
Laura Vanderbooben | Terrible production and lyrics so pandering that they couldn't even use it for some sort of "two cents a day will save a child" campaign.
constantino | What kind of LGBT-friendly socialist JAM?? No but in seriousness, this is kind of sweet and I definitely enjoyed it. Nice one, Jess.
sexercise | I fucking hate this god damn song. The absolute worst of everything Jessie represents in 1 song.
Mikey1701 | Low-key bop. Saying that, I’m not about to actively seek it out. If it was to come on shuffle I probably wouldn’t skip it. Well not until those god awful ad-libbed wails towards the end.
Fever | I’d like Jessie more if she went on a quest to find the pot at the end of the rainbow and mysteriously vanished forever.
there’s enough for me, me, me”
46. Rainbow
Average score: 4.947368421
Highest score: 9 (x1) @Call My Name
Lowest score: 0 (x2) @sexercise @Fever
Sprockrooster | This song had some potential in the intro, but when the chorus comes it is Jessie J all over again.
First2Run | You know when you hear that “Go!” at the beginning of a song you are about to hear some sort of R&B song attempt. I’ll admit the song could have been much worse, but I’m not sure this is a genre she quite fits in. It also ends far too abruptly.
Laura Vanderbooben | Terrible production and lyrics so pandering that they couldn't even use it for some sort of "two cents a day will save a child" campaign.
constantino | What kind of LGBT-friendly socialist JAM?? No but in seriousness, this is kind of sweet and I definitely enjoyed it. Nice one, Jess.
sexercise | I fucking hate this god damn song. The absolute worst of everything Jessie represents in 1 song.
Mikey1701 | Low-key bop. Saying that, I’m not about to actively seek it out. If it was to come on shuffle I probably wouldn’t skip it. Well not until those god awful ad-libbed wails towards the end.
Fever | I’d like Jessie more if she went on a quest to find the pot at the end of the rainbow and mysteriously vanished forever.
“woah there is something going down
like the storm in the sky
I ain’t gonna be played by your behaviour
how can I trust someone who’s lying to me?
45. Mamma Knows Best
Average score: 5
Highest score: 8 (x3) @Sprockrooster @Oggist @2014
Lowest score: 0 (x2) @WarmBlood11 @Fever
Sprockrooster | Another discovery. Amazing.
First2Run | This song is conflicting, because it’s the interesting attitude that I want from Jessie J, but the song is just overly cheesy and cliché.
Laura Vanderbooben | She should go with the old-school sound more.
constantino | SOOO tacky. Is she kidding me with that brass band? I know she’s trying to bring ~soul~ and ~real musik~ back, but she needn’t bother.
sexercise | At least when Xtina over sings it at least sounds somewhat good. This is a shockingly over the top & terrible vocal performance.
Mikey1701 | I wasn’t “here” for Kylie doing big band for The Abbey Road Sessions and I love the woman to death so there is no way in hell I’m going to put up with this shit from The Heterosexual Chanteuse.
Fever | Did Mamma tell you never to put out an album? No? Clearly she’s not very smart at all.
Push | Thank god for another Jessie J track where she's not always oversinging.
like the storm in the sky
I ain’t gonna be played by your behaviour
how can I trust someone who’s lying to me?
45. Mamma Knows Best
Average score: 5
Highest score: 8 (x3) @Sprockrooster @Oggist @2014
Lowest score: 0 (x2) @WarmBlood11 @Fever
Sprockrooster | Another discovery. Amazing.
First2Run | This song is conflicting, because it’s the interesting attitude that I want from Jessie J, but the song is just overly cheesy and cliché.
Laura Vanderbooben | She should go with the old-school sound more.
constantino | SOOO tacky. Is she kidding me with that brass band? I know she’s trying to bring ~soul~ and ~real musik~ back, but she needn’t bother.
sexercise | At least when Xtina over sings it at least sounds somewhat good. This is a shockingly over the top & terrible vocal performance.
Mikey1701 | I wasn’t “here” for Kylie doing big band for The Abbey Road Sessions and I love the woman to death so there is no way in hell I’m going to put up with this shit from The Heterosexual Chanteuse.
Fever | Did Mamma tell you never to put out an album? No? Clearly she’s not very smart at all.
Push | Thank god for another Jessie J track where she's not always oversinging.
Last edited:
D
Deleted member 3416
Mamma Knows Best became an audition song for all those oversinging hopefuls on The X Factor and American Idol. Another reason to dislike Jesus J.
“Call me crazy
call me a fool
call me crazy
maybe it’s true”
44. Silver Lining (Crazy ‘Bout You)
Average score: 5.078947368
Highest score: 8 (x2) @evilsin @sexercise
Lowest score: 0 (x2) @Mr. Right @Call My Name
First2Run | This song starts of excellently, but quickly becomes mush as you get into it.
Laura Vanderbooben | This music video. She's posting on the Silver Linings Playbook Facebook page that she's crazy about it? And then she gets a call from...herself? What the fuck is this?
constantino | Considering the build-up, I was expecting a more explosive chorus, not a cheap Alicia Keys imitation. On the positive side, she looks S.N.A.T.C.H.E.D in the video, like, the best she’s ever looked.
sexercise | Pretty good. This little era between her first & second album was her most tolerable.
Mikey1701 | The textbook definition of ‘perfectly acceptable soundtrack song’.
SuperNerd | A kind of pleasant chorus, I guess?
call me a fool
call me crazy
maybe it’s true”
44. Silver Lining (Crazy ‘Bout You)
Average score: 5.078947368
Highest score: 8 (x2) @evilsin @sexercise
Lowest score: 0 (x2) @Mr. Right @Call My Name
First2Run | This song starts of excellently, but quickly becomes mush as you get into it.
Laura Vanderbooben | This music video. She's posting on the Silver Linings Playbook Facebook page that she's crazy about it? And then she gets a call from...herself? What the fuck is this?
constantino | Considering the build-up, I was expecting a more explosive chorus, not a cheap Alicia Keys imitation. On the positive side, she looks S.N.A.T.C.H.E.D in the video, like, the best she’s ever looked.
sexercise | Pretty good. This little era between her first & second album was her most tolerable.
Mikey1701 | The textbook definition of ‘perfectly acceptable soundtrack song’.
SuperNerd | A kind of pleasant chorus, I guess?
Last edited:
he/him
A Kelly Rowland texting on Excel mess.
I cannot believe I lost another of my few high scores. I literally have nothing left in a few eliminations...
“why don’t they hate you?
why do they hate me?”
43. Loud
Average score: 5.105263158
Highest score: 10 (x1) @constantino
Lowest score: 0 (x1) @Sprockrooster
Sprockrooster | That chorus is absolutely awful and way too repetitive.
First2Run | This ended up being one of the biggest Sweet Talker disappointments for me. I’m a casual Lindsey Stirling fan, and I was expecting something a bit more her style. What a waste, that she just ended up creating a basic chord progression for the song that could just be done by anyone. Could there not have at least been an interesting violin solo for the bridge?
Laura Vanderbooben | A Jessie J song. Called Loud.
constantino | This is a very pretty track, I love how lush and euphoric it feels. The backing vocals from Lindsey are wonderful, I like the contrast between her angelic tone and Jessie’s…um…harsher sound.
sexercise | No thanks.
Mikey1701 | Another good song that I can’t really so much about. There’s nothing wrong with it, but Jessus does her best to drown out poor old Lindsey Sterling on violin.
Push | How ironic. It's like someone trapped Jessie in the studio and forced her to record.
why do they hate me?”
43. Loud
Average score: 5.105263158
Highest score: 10 (x1) @constantino
Lowest score: 0 (x1) @Sprockrooster
Sprockrooster | That chorus is absolutely awful and way too repetitive.
First2Run | This ended up being one of the biggest Sweet Talker disappointments for me. I’m a casual Lindsey Stirling fan, and I was expecting something a bit more her style. What a waste, that she just ended up creating a basic chord progression for the song that could just be done by anyone. Could there not have at least been an interesting violin solo for the bridge?
Laura Vanderbooben | A Jessie J song. Called Loud.
constantino | This is a very pretty track, I love how lush and euphoric it feels. The backing vocals from Lindsey are wonderful, I like the contrast between her angelic tone and Jessie’s…um…harsher sound.
sexercise | No thanks.
Mikey1701 | Another good song that I can’t really so much about. There’s nothing wrong with it, but Jessus does her best to drown out poor old Lindsey Sterling on violin.
Push | How ironic. It's like someone trapped Jessie in the studio and forced her to record.
Last edited:
D
Deleted member 3416
Let's hope the next song she records is called Quiet or Tone It Down Luv.
Awww I like Loud!!
These lyrics are hilarious.
D
Deleted member 3416
No one was lazy having to take the beatings to the ears that Jessie Jesus gives us by listening to her songs.