DA BAWPS R HERE DOE! - Flops, Drops, & Random Bops: A Girl Groups Rate (WINNER <3)

She/Her
Was Ugly Heart a commercial success? It didn't make the Hot 100 in the US, just the Bubbling Under chart. And it only went to 11 in the UK.
 
She/her
Oh, I don't like Shout Out To My Ex. I only cited it because people think it's a rip-off of Ugly Heart.

Ugly Heart has better lyrics, but my point was that they could have tried to add an actual melody to the chorus.

Maybe I'm just a pendantic loser but it really bugs me how many times they repeat the word 'pretty' in the chorus.
 
he/him
Let's just get the winner out the way first.

























































































































































































#1. Smile.DK - Koko Soko - 10.286

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AUDIO LINK

Highest: 12 (DJHazey) 10 (@iheartpoptarts, @WhenTheSunGoesDown, @Animalia , @Posh Spears, @Sprockrooster, @Reboot)

I extended the opportunity to vote on this to those of you that gave Dolly Style top-notch scores, only. Y'all came through and carried bubblegum dance it to victory!


Song Charted: #1 for a year on the Underground Bubblegum Dance Charts and Platinum-selling DDR artistes.

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(12) - Yes, I had to give my one 12 to this. I've been loving them for a long time and if the world was a better place they'd have like 7 albums out by now. Just like any girl group you know, they've had lineup changes and are most known for being all over your favorite DDR compilations. Hailing from Sweden like every other amazing piece of pop music ever, Smile first hit it """big""" with a song called Butterfly and managed to put out four albums before kind of retiring (they'd come back with a song/remix every blue moon). I was a member of a forum called BubblegumDancer right when this album dropped and the whole place exploded when we first heard Koko Soko, the instant classic from Party Around The World. The forum's owner has an ongoing professional relationship with Hanna Stockzell, so we always knew what was up first-hand.

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(10) - I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE SMILE.DK GET A CHANCE TO SHINE! BUBBLEGUM HEAVEN <3! I must also use this as an opportunity to post my two favorites though:

"Someday" (would've been her 11)

A little audio-choppiness but it's the only one on youtube.



"Petit Love" (it's gonna be wtf? at first guys, but just let in sink in)



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Been stanning for these girls forever. Helped designed all the album covers and once tweeted that they should do a song about dragonflies and then look what happened:



You tell me things that I never knew....SO. WHAT. AM. I. SUPPOSED. TO. DO? Running around, like a little kid, one two three and i'm HIT HIT HIT!

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What in the actual fuck is Hazey getting me to listen to, destroy my hipsterjustice reputation a biT. How can I deny this BAWP though, not fair!

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I should've known this was coming after giving my 11 to Dolly Style, like what the hell is this. *reaching for stop button*. Wait a minute...those little *clap-claps* at every transition, okay it's starting become catchy, nooooooo, Hjalp!

---------------------------------------------------


My all-time favorite that actually was my #19 song in Ultimate Popjustice:

"Kissy Kissy" who could deny this sugary-sweet overload?



They even have several songs that stress how much they wants "boys"

"Doo-Be-Di-Boy" (you may also love a song called "Boys" though I can't find the album version on youtube, but trust it's amazing)





Real Top 3 reveal #soon
 
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My hero!

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(10) - I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE SMILE.DK GET A CHANCE TO SHINE! BUBBLEGUM HEAVEN <3! I must also use this as an opportunity to post my two favorites though:

"Someday" (would've been her 11)

A little audio-choppiness but it's the only one on youtube.



"Petit Love" (it's gonna be wtf? at first guys, but just let in sink in)



I love how my completely made-up commentary is oh so perfectly accurate. Bubblejustice!
 
he/him
So the song at #3 went through a bit of a journey. Not the one I was always talking about through the voting period, but a journey nonetheless.














































































































































Top 10 was never ever in question, but barely in that Top 10 was also never a question. It sat at like #9 or #10 for most of voting, but a combination of the songs ahead of it being suddenly bombed with low scores and this staying consistent led it all the way to #2 and I was jumping for joy. A 3rd place finish is still a personal victory for me and for all of you who love the subgenre like I do.















































































































Not bad for a song I threw in last second to makes the number match and also to rep as one the forum's biggest fans.






























































#3. Aly & AJ - Potential Breakup Song - 8.897

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Highest: 11 x 2 (@Aester, @unnameable) <---Infinite love forever.

10 x 14 (DJHazey, @Shockbox, @tylerc904, @Sprockrooster, @phily693, @Conan, @2014, @CorgiCorgiCorgi, @iheartpoptarts, @Robsolete, @eyeline, @WhenTheSunGoesDown, @Remorque, @Posh Spears)

Lowest: 5 (@LPMA) 6 (@ohdenny) 6.5 x 2 (@sfmartin, @AmbivalentToBritney)


Song Charted: #17 USA // #22 UK // #16 Ireland // #18 Norway // #83 Netherlands // #65 Europe // #72 Canada

Certified: Platinum (USA) // Gold (Denmark)

I'm not going to get into their entire on-going? ddd careers right now or I'd be here forever and also I plan to run their discography rate in some future life.

Written By:
Alyson and Amanda Joy (like all their music -- #TeenPopCanBeArt2) but also teen-pop writing legends Antonina Armato and Tim James (Selena, Demi, Miley, Vanessa, etc.)

It was the opening single for their second album Insomniatic and is easily their biggest commercial smash. It signaled the a shift from the acoustic magic of Into the Rush to something more poppy and often darker on their sophomore effort. It's no surprise this is also the fan favorite of people who stan for the duo and also of people who just casually stopped by, grabbed this single, and said "peace out". It really does stand out from the rest of the material as probably the biggest "BAWP" persay, that's why I chose it and it alone for this rate.

Time Magazine ranked it as the 9th best song of 2007 and that's why that magazine is legendary and your favs are flops. Digital Spy sounds like one of you hipster tricks with the back handed compliment: "by Disney Channel standards at least, 'Potential Breakup Song' is fairly adventurous, riding its bassline and tango-inflected rhythm track to a chipper, synth-fueled chorus." BBC Music alludes to the fact that I might have worked their at some point: "was already introduced 'Potential Breakup Song' on Back of the Sofa Tunes pt.2, after I bullied Steve P into listening to it until the poor lad was quite overcome by its brilliance and subsequently forced to bully Fraser into covering it."

Of course there was an edited version sent to Radio Disney where you'll find "getin' to me" instead of "getin' me" and "without me you're gonna cry" instead "die".

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(10) - I'd actually rank this just outside the Top 5 in this rate. Don't get me wrong I absolutely stan hard for them, so I would've definitely been thrilled with them winning. I'm just glad no one came with the "are they really a girl group?" nonsense, because they still count dammit! *sobs* This is always just been a fun bop to me, of the highest order of course, but I could literally write a thesis about at least five other songs on its parent album. There's something a little retro-sounding about the foundation of the chorus and how it comes at you in waves like that can really fuck you up fast. The little stutters are still affecting to this day. They both have equal footing vocally, but it's AJ that truly shines through the chorus, with Aly providing the background support. My other favorite aspect of it all is when it shifts to "this is the potential makeup song" near the end. Yas, drag ha and then provide a little optimism afterwards you tricky little vixens!

This ranks as an easy 10 in their discography for me, but then again the following are all easy 10s for me as well. Behold: Rush, Something More, One The Ride, In A Second, I Am One Of Them, Walking On Sunshine, Chemicals React, Potential Breakup Song, Bullseye, Division, Insomniatic, Silence, Blush, I'm Here, Hothouse, Little Notes, Hole In The Earth, Today, Belong Here

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At least Mollie knows who is slayin'

(7) - Song Aly’s voice is too autotuned here, I love AJ’s voice though but the song itself hasn’t aged as well as I’d hoped.

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With a multiple-faceted discovery session like this, one would've expected a 10.

(8) - Good verses. Good bridge. Good chorus. Good post-chorus bit. Good middle 8. Good

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Ally says this like I won't be able to get her votes when this rate comes.

(8) - Okay I was ready to go off about how I don't understand this forum's obsession with this song but teeeeeeeebs it sounds a lot better in comparison to like 80% of the songs here and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't bopping. It's still a bit… messy… but in an endearing way.

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(9) - That intro though. This song was my guilty pleasure as a teen.


Check out their other material it's much more mature sounding.

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Baby Spice understands exactly how teen-pop got this far.

(10) - Definitely a go-to song when you need to shut the Disney pop detractors up.

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Michelle was me, but the difference is I never stopped.

(10) - I was such an Aly & AJ stan, Insomniatic is a brilliant album! I hammered this song so hard, I love its groove.

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At this point, Cheryl has to be used to these scenarios. Soz.

(10) - I WANT MY STUFF BACK.

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(10) - I actually never really invested a lot of time and effort into getting into them, but I’m living for this song. It’s not as if I never listened to it before, but it took all these years to finally click with me. They sound atrocious during the verses, but the chorus fucking slays.

Please refer to my selections below. Thank you.

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(10) - Though I did enjoy Rush and Chemicals React, I never expected Aly & AJ to deliver a bop of this caliber. It’s really fantastic and still holds up. The album is really great, and I’m hoping an eventual third one will be as good.

Yes, educate them on other potential bops, and also this was written before I PMed you the unreleased Hothouse album.

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(10) - Rock Mafia and Aly & AJ have come to tear everyone’s scalp to SHREDS with the best song of the 21st century. Bury all your faves because they could never.

And yet, no 11?

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(10) - This is still unbelievable. I did enjoy this song a lot when I was a kid, but now that I’m older I’m able to thoroughly appreciate how clever and amazing of a song it really is. Like… a song that pops off THIS much on Disney Channel??? I mean yeah there were a lot of bops on there but this is nothing short of iconic. I was so #blessed to grow up with stuff like this. Also, I thoroughly believe that “I want my stuff back” was originally “I want my shit back.” But like Disney etc etc. Anyway Aly & AJ are legends.

Oh I grew up with it too, just I was in my early 20s. Kii.

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It has to be said: The song lived up to its name. *RUNS* (Love you)

(10) - I forgot how much fun this music video was. I was introduced to Aly & AJ by my first boyfriend and we stanned all the way and he is responsible for bringing teen pop in my life. We broke up after a year, but we are still on good grounds, so I can still unashamedly stan this, without feeling hurt or weird. A true anthem, though I am a bigger fan from 'Like Whoa'.


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(11) - interestingly, my relationship was on the rocks when Insomniatic was released in the UK – this wasn't my potential breakup song, “Like it or leave it” was.

I couldn't have this comment at the end, but I'll post your song instead.



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If you are wondering what the power of Insomniatic can do for people, just listen to this healtfelt connection

(10) - ABSOLUTE BOP. This song and the album it comes from have a special place in my heart. At that time, my papa had been diagnosed with lung cancer and was going through his chemotherapy. This album was a great escape from all the cancer talk. I had also not long my now husband and we both bonded over this album.

Thank you for sharing.





------------------------------------------------------


Three more of my absolute favorites. One from each album:


"On The Ride" -- Always my fav and shows you the kind of acoustic pieces you'll find on Into the Rush



"Silence" -- It's hard to pinpoint a fav from this album but it's probably between this and "Division". The kind of Vanessa Carlton deep-cut mood piece I was never prepared for from these girls. Still give me all the right goosebumps to this day. Yes y'all, they sleigh piano too.



"Little Notes" -- A little taste of what never got an official release. Yes, it's THAT good.


 
he/him
So it all comes down to this.



















































































































































Pure Pop vs. R&B Pop































































































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vs.
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One of these songs was the one I was talking about. Early on it was actually outside the Top 15!!!! I warned that the forum might be left as a crater if it finished like that and that seemed to spark the movement of 'hunties to the rescue'.


As you can see, it rallied big time, grabbed some 11s, got momentum, and climbed steadily. Top 10, Top 5, Like One Touch it eventually took the spotlight when it tied for the lead.














































































































Then Ally (@Animalia) came by with her hammer (and her 5) to crush people's dreams.

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And the result was pretty clear from that point on.





(Personally, I was screaming yaaaaas about the whole thing)



















































































































































#2. Mis-Teeq - Scandalous - 8.983

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Highest: 11 x 2 (@Sprockrooster, @Robsolete)

10 x 14 (@GhettoPrincess, @tylerc904, @phily693, @Conan, @2014, @LPMA, @iheartpoptarts, @ohdenny, @Elysium, @londonrain, @unnameable, @Remorque, @slaybellz, @Posh Spears)

Lowest: 5 (@Animalia) 6 (@AmbivalentToBritney)

Song Charted: #2 UK // #35 USA // #19 Belgium // #24 Netherlands // #9 Australia // #40 UK Year-End (2003) // #68 Australia Year-End (2003)

Certified: Silver (UK) // Gold (Australia)

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(8) - I didn't know this song existed before playing GTA V, yes I'm serious. Again, I can't stress enough how good Non-Stop Pop FM is as far as video game soundtracks. Where was the Grammy? I always looked forward to it and it always used to come when I was cruising Los Santos at night some kind of sports car engaging in some kind shady activity I'm sure. It's far from a favorite in a rate like this though, that's all it is.

When it comes to a finale, I always just go with the 'post the commentary' strategy because at this juncture, it's not about what I have to say but why our voters either made the song win, or what minor thing caused a voter to hold back a perfect score. (Besides everyone knows these songs already and doesn't need me to add anything because it likely won't be new) So I let you all have the floor:


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(5) - I know they're ~iconic~ but honestly those sirens have always bugged the fuck outta me, they're so irritating they tarnish any enjoyment I could get from the rest of the song (which wasn't much anyway TEEBS).

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(8) - SIRENS

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(9) - This song is secretly very boring and repetitive but I have such good memories of being in the car with my sister and BLASTING this with the windows open that I’m giving it a 9 anyway. Bias! Also that siren alone deserves a high grade.

Why did Stargate become so boring after this/The Last Goodbye?

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(10) - everything you liked about UK R&B at the time

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(10) - I’m pretty sure this was a song on SingStar. I know all the words and I feel like a king when this comes on the radio, on TV, in the club, on Spotify, whatever. I adored this when it came out and I still do, it’s one of those songs that goes down a treat at pre-drinks as a great little throwback. Also, I can’t say the word “scandalous” without ever hearing the sirens in my head!

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(10) - Really one of those massive pop classics in my eyes along with the likes of Liberty X’s Just A Little or Sam Mumba’s Gotta Tell You. Just feels timeless and perfect.

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(10) - I remember this being kind of a big deal way back when, so I’m surprised to see all these people on YouTube who only know it thanks to GTA!

(Wait, this is you, isn’t it? But I’m pretty sure the song predates your pop awakening, so I don’t blame you one bit!)

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(10) - This still knocks so much, as soon as you hear that “so so so Scandalous” and fire production. What a bop! It’s funny how Su-Elise has so little to sing in it but it’s probably some of her best vocals in Mis-Teeq.

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(10) - God, they had a lot of fabulous bops, didn’t they… They had it correct with this one, but everything after this felt either half-baked or just not up to scratch. At least Su-Elise is audible during her “So so so scandalous…”-line and the harmones... Bless!

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(10) - GTA V forever. I’m thankful I was exposed to this song via that game, and what an in-charge kind of bop it is. Adlibs are essential in almost every final chorus and the ones on this track are great. A little conversation maybaayyy etc. I definitely prefer the one that plays in game where there’s no switch-up in the last chorus, but that version is good too.

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Sprockrooster (11) - This song is in my playlist 'top 50 all-time pop songs' and I cannot 11 anything else. The girls are lit and bring the fire on this aaliyah-esque beat. Combine it with that middle-8/outro and we have an alltime classic on our hands.





Mis-Teeq High Scorers

@Robsolete (10.5), @Conan (10), @2014 (10), @Elysium (10), @londonrain (10), @Remorque (10), @slaybellz (10)

Mis-Teeq Low Scorers

@Animalia (4.75), @Reboot (6), @Shockbox (6.5), @neonz (6.5)


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Total Average: 7.319

High Scorers

@Remorque (8.577), @sfmartin (8.269), @JapaneseJesus (8.250), @unnameable (8.115), @Sprockrooster (8.077)

Low Scorers

@Shockbox (5.769), @Filler (6.154), @Animalia (6.269), @AmbivalentToBritney (6.346), @ohdenny (6.385)


 
he/him
So yes that means America wins, GRL wins, Simone wins, we all win!


Except poor @iheartpoptarts, on a rate that was built for her!

You will always have "Upside Down" though, how many hosts get their own way?




#1. GRL - Ugly Heart - 9.367


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Highest: 11 x 4 (@phily693, @ohdenny, @AmbivalentToBritney, @eyeline)

10 x 16 (DJHazey, @GhettoPrincess, @Shockbox, @Reboot, @tylerc904, @JapaneseJesus, @Sprockrooster, @2014, @LPMA, @CorgiCorgiCorgi, @Elysium, @Robsolete, @WhenTheSunGoesDown, @unnameable, @Remorque, @slaybellz)

Lowest: 3 (@iheartpoptarts) 6 (@londonrain)

When that 3 dropped in, that when the game changed for a bit. That's when One Touch had a second as the leader and later Scandalous grabbed a quick tie when that 6 followed. It quickly turned into a blowout. Only three times in this entire rate were songs seperated by more than 0.1. Stuff of legends, people.

Song Charted: #11 UK // #7 U.S. Bubbling Under (one of the biggest pop crimes in history) // #5 Scotland // #2 Ireland // #21 Belgium // #84 Netherlands // #2 Australia // #7 Sweden // #3 New Zealand // #10 Australia Year-End (2014) // #19 Ireland Year-End (2014) // #20 New Zealand Year-End (2014) // #81 UK Year-End (2014)

Certified: Gold (UK) // 4x Platinum (Australia), 3x Platinum (Sweden) // Platinum (New Zealand)


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(10) - That acoustic opening always grabs me by the back of the fucking neck and turns my head, my heart, and my soul so it gives the song my full attention. It's one of things where it becomes part of my subconscious and immediately triggers something inside of me at this point. At first I discovered and loved Vacation, but this told me that they HAD SOMETHING BIG cooking. This was a plug.DJ staple back in 2014. This was back when when Rhombus, RJF, and other forum favorites were there daily. Yes even RJF stanned for this hard. The video is of course all kinds of iconic...from backseat cop car choreo, to taking over the police station like they own the place making Coyote Ugly proud they inspired a brand new interpretation of table dancing. The words are all 'scream at the top of your lungs worthy' and any arguments of "all one note" will not only be left at the door but the pitchforks will be called to take you away. Easily the best part of the song though is Simone's defining moment, that one note will go down in girl group history and still leaves the best of us reaching for the spot on our heads where the wig used to be.


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(3) - Just say no to hoedown anthems. Like, unless you’re Rednex or something.

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(6) - I never particularly cared for the one-note verses and chorus (the prechorus is the only melodically interesting part). but it's not a bad song lyrically.

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(7) - That we can in any way blame this for "Shout Out to My Ex" is to its detriment, but this is a fair bit livelier and sassier than any song with ukuleles has any right to be. Still, it's no "Who's My Bitch", is it?

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(7.5) - dddddd these looks are all fucking tragic but least the song's better than Little Mix's tragic copycat.

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(9.5) - The pause before the titular line feels a bit awkward. But overall this song is super awesome. Queens of inspiring Shout Out To My Ex.

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(10) - Shoutout To My Ex wishes it was this good.

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(10)

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(10) - I really wish I had paid attention to this band when they first came out. This song is just pop perfection.

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(10) - best chorus of the year and awesome video. They should have conquered the world.

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(10) - What. A. Moment. The video, the choregraphy, and of course the song just knock it out of the park. I always feel sad watching it now, but it simultaneously brings me joy looking at five girls so effortlessly killing it.

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(10) - Great lyrics, fantastic music video and so damn easy on the ears. This is stuck all day and I want to stay in my mind. The girls bring it vocally with so much dedication and sell it even more in the video. All topped off with a middle-8 that can be endless for all I care. I completely forgot about "now your face is like your heart... ugly" I-C-O-N-I-C. This must be the most swag in a girl group since 'No Scrubs'. There was no chance anything could snatch my 11, than my chosen one. But if one came close it was this one.

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(10) - I feel like this is the potential winner out of all the songs or if not the winner it’ll be in the top 3? Either way I would love to see it go all the way. It’s pop perfection. The music video is great, that chorus is literally pop heaven along with the production. Emmalyn/Natasha’s bridges are amazing vocally. Also Simone’s energy and dancing is dearly missed. I love her line in the music video “now your face is like your heart…. UGLY!" I think this was one of her favourite GRL songs and it shows. Basically this is when a pop group reaches a new peak and becomes the fierce performers you’ve always championed them to be. If I could hand out another 11 this would’ve had it. Also Little Mix’s Shout Out To My Ex wishes it was anywhere near this level of amazing.

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(11) - Best pop song since Call The Shots.

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(11) - I just adore this. One of the greatest breakup songs ever written, if not the greatest. A forgotten classic.



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(11) - What a mammoth pop song. The first time I heard it I wasn’t totally enamoured but as soon as I saw the video I was in 100%. This song brings back such fun memories of uni, any time I hear it I go crazy and send Snapchat videos to my uni friends, as they do to me.

However, I can’t help but think about Simone each time I listen to this. I remember the day the news broke about her death. I wouldn’t say I was a huge fan of them at the time, but I championed them as the new up-and-coming girl group and strongly admired their tenacity, attitude, positivity and their talent. Their potential was so evident. Simone was an integral part to all of that. When I heard the news, it really rocked me. It upset me more than I thought it should. “She’s just a celebrity, I don’t know her personally, why do I care so deeply?” is what I thought initially. Looking back I can see now that it resonated because of how close to home it was. Having battled depression from just a few months prior, this was a wakeup call to me. It was so sad to see someone who strived and clawed to break into the music business, to achieve their dream, and yet still be so unhappy that she took her own life because of a horrible mental illness. It was like “If she wasn’t happy, and she has it all or is on the cusp of it, then will I ever truly be happy? What even is happiness to me?” This song is a reminder that we have to appreciate each other while we can and that our happiness can easily be taken away. I’m not sure if I’ve ever written this before but it’s clear to me that I should thank and honour Simone. Her death resonated with me so deeply because I saw myself in her shoes, and her tragic passing is the reason that I can say I have overcome my depression issues, and without her death wising me up, who knows how much longer my issues would have lingered. I’m sure I’m not the first person to face these issues, nor will I be the last unfortunately. Wherever she is now, I hope she knows that she helped at least one person to not suffer as she did, and I’m sure there are many more out there that she touched in ways that she would not have been able to with just her presence on Earth. This song will forever be a constant reminder of the fight against depression; it’s a reminder for me to be thankful and happy for what I currently have in life rather than for what I lack. Thank you, Simone.

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I don't think the rate could be capped of any better. Such a different situation which is so sensitive to discuss but you really got to heart of the matter and how popstars can impact our lives without even having sing one word. This might be a rate winner I am most proud of seeing because of how much it means to their fans beyond rooting for their favorite songs to win. It's about so much more here. This is popjustice at the its most raw application. The next Rate Winners rate just got infinitely stronger.





GRL High Scorers

@Elysium (9.5), @eyeline (9.5), @phily693 (9.4), DJHazey (9.4), @GhettoPrincess (9)

GRL Low Scorers

@Filler (4.4), @londonrain (5), @iheartpoptarts (6.2), @Animalia (6.5), @AmbivalentToBritney (6.6)



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Total Average: 6.950

(Americans won the song, but the British took the overall.)

High Scorers

@Robsolete (8.365), @LPMA (8.231), DJHazey (8.231), @eyeline (8.154)

Low Scorers

@Shockbox (3.538), @Filler (5.346), @Animalia (5.654), @londonrain (5.981)



 
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