Dating & Relationships | Page 603 | The Popjustice Forum

Dating & Relationships

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Babylon, May 1, 2016.

  1. awwww it’s lovely when you hear stories like this. I hope he lived his truth.

    At least he’s slept with people even if it was women and he’s gay. I’m literally 32 hardly much sexual experience came out at 18, how do I even explain to any future boyfriend I literally have the sexual experience of a late teen but my 32 without him being put off by me? So shameful!
     
    Vasilios likes this.
  2. Nothing shameful about it at all. My current partner had next to no sexual experience with anyone before meeting me (he's 30) and, while there certainly are some kinks to iron out, I actually found that to be quite endearing/a turn on. Just spin it as depth of character and you're golden!
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2022
  3. Thanks for this. Nice to hear I’m not the only one out their and your partner was in same position. I have questioned whether I was demi- sexual as I seem to what to get to know someone first like you say ‘depth of character’ but I’m unsure. Yeah chastity / depth or character might work as I don’t really know what else to say.

    Also thought at one point I was asexual with my not huge interest in sleeping around as I thought at first you could be asexual but still have a sexual preference to men but then looked into it more and don’t think you can be attracted to a gender if your asexual?
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2022
    Chezam and 1986 like this.
  4. I wouldn’t put pressure on yourself to fit into societal norms or label yourself, just explore whatever avenue you wish and which ever path it leads just enjoy it.
     
    Whosthatboy122 and elektroxx like this.
  5. You know best what fits your situation, but I wouldn't rush to label myself if I were you. Not wanting to jump straight into sex does not (necessarily) make you demi- or asexual, those are qualifiers for sexual attraction. Actual sexual behaviour, while often related, is completely independent. If you don't feel *attracted* to people (of any gender) until you've got to know them, then that could be something to consider, but if you still look at people and, to quote Delta Goodrem, think about them naked, then I'd say that's just behavioural reticence.

    But don't let a stranger on the internet tell you about yourself, read up on the asexuality spectrum and make your own mind up. Or better yet, go on a few dates and see what happens!
     
  6. Thank you :)
     
    Txetxu likes this.
  7. We were supposed to have a date this weekend but he’s seemingly ghosted me. Why is it always the guys who go “I can’t believe you’ve never had a boyfriend, you’re so nice/handsome, why?” that end up ghosting weeks later after a few dates, without a single crumb of self awareness?

    Not feeling down about him in particular because he was getting a lot less regular with messaging over the last few weeks, so I guessed this was imminent, but more that this has happened to me so many times in a row now. It’s getting to the point that I’m thinking Ms. Max is right and maybe I am the problem nn.
     
  8. I think I need reassurance or advice. I’ve never posted in this thread before but couldn’t think of better people to turn too, who may have been in similar situations.

    I recently started seeing someone and it had been going really well. Yesterday they told me they want to get serious but they would also require an open relationship.

    I fully respect open relationships as every person and couple has unique desires and needs. For me though, I want monogamy. Just one person I can be with and build a future with. My mental health just doesn’t support me being in an open relationship.

    When I communicated this back and told him I completely understand if that would not work for him, he called me selfish and ended it abruptly.

    Am I being selfish? I thought I handled this okay. I know that nature of relationship isn’t for me but he made me feel like I threw away a good think over being…selfish?
     
  9. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. You are not being selfish, you know what you want and expressed it to him clearly. He’s being a child.
     
  10. No, you're not selfish. He can't impose an open relationship on you, oh at all. Open relationships happen when two people agree to one. Good for you for knowing what you want/need, and communicating it. Next!
     
  11. Im not Asexual but this isn’t true, my friend is gay and Asexual and I follow a guy on tiktok who is gay and Asexual. You can be physically attracted to a gender and not want to have sex with them, it’s more about affection etc. Also, some people may find the fact that you jphave no exs and very little sexual history a plus point, no baggage there.
     
  12. Not sure if this applies to you cause you're saying you may have a sexual preference. But they do say that sexual attraction and romantic attraction can be different. So people can be asexual and still be attracted to any gender, date and fall in love but have no sexual desires.

    For example I've known i'm bisexual for a very long time but in recent years i've wondered if I might be homoromantic as well, cause i'm not sure if I actually have the capacity to fall in love with men or feel anything towards them beyond just physical and sexual attraction. I haven't quite figured that out yet, and i'm around the same age as you. Like people said above there's no time limit to figuring yourself out.
     
  13. Thankyou! Oh ok that makes sense it can be all rather confusing. Like I think of men in a physically attractive way, watch porn and think of some men I like naked etc as another poster pointed out to me earlier. I’m not into hook up culture and wouldn’t ever try and find a hook up on Grindr when horny or anything. Because of my shyness / social awkwardness etc I mentioned a few pages back I don’t know if it’s a symptom of that and need to come out of my shell more and confident or I actually do feel this way for certain on these issues?
     
  14. Yes i would say I have a sexual preference and that I was gay. Thankyou I’ve never heard of sexual attraction and romantic attraction being different. I do hope you figure yourself out. The age limit thing is embarrassing I guess as how do you explain to a potential boyfriend I have the sexual maturity of an 18 year old for example and explain away without putting them off or looking elsewhere that as a 32 year old that’s one area of life I’m not up to speed with. Its not even like I’m one of these men who’s slept with girls for years and then realised they where gay I’m not up to speed with any gender. I feel anyone interested me will instantly look elsewhere. I don’t wanna be all boo hoo me and explain away how I was socially awkward etc for years that got me in this mess really and that’ll also make an man run a mile. Like I could but I feel that’ll make me seem so unattractive to someone go on about my issues.
     
    Mr.Arroz and slaybellz like this.
  15. I would just explain it the same way you explained it to us. Is a guy who would judge you for something so trivial someone you want as a potential boyfriend anyway? It's actually not that uncommon in the queer community to be a so called "late bloomer".

    I know you said you're not interested in hookup apps but what about dating apps like Hinge? One good thing about dating apps is that you can write exactly what you're looking for, like that you aren't interested in hookups, and you don't have to interact with anyone who's not looking for the same things.
     
  16. yes I’ve put myself on Hinge, Bumble and Tinder this week since watched Heartstopper. Haven’t had much interest yet hehe.

    Oh you’d think the way the gay scene is so sex obsessed there isn’t alot of late bloomers.

    Do you think I should put ‘late bloomer’ on my bio on dating apps, I haven’t seen it on anyones? Or you think it’ll put people off or wait till meet up with someone?

    Doing a little digging I do relate to these people who say are ‘sides’, I could fit that box! Great that so many terms out their these days for teens.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2022
    slaybellz likes this.
  17. That was incredibly rude of him. I hold very similar views to you about monogamy and what I’d like in a relationship. Not everyone is cut out for open relationships, and the idea that we should be is really frustrating.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2022
  18. Even if they might be becoming more commonplace, open relationships are surely not the norm (not saying there's anything wrong about open relationships, just most relationships aren't open), and not only wanting to force that on someone but also considering it selfish of the other person not to want it seems really messed up to me. It's been said before, but it definitely sounds like a bullet was dodged there.
     
  19. He

    He

    Yeah that person shouldn’t be in a relationship if they become antagonistic when they cannot impose themselves. I am sorry that happened to you, @TwistedInnocence.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2022
  20. Thank you for all your kind responses and also for putting my mind at ease.

    I knew this thread would be the perfect outlet. Thank you all again!
     
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