Dating & Relationships | Page 608 | The Popjustice Forum

Dating & Relationships

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Babylon, May 1, 2016.

  1. Feeling like I wanna date again so I reinstalled Hinge and made a potentially great connection with someone yesterday. Excited to see where it goes.
    1986, Xanax, man.tis.shrimp and 5 others like this.
  2. Well, he texted me back today. What a nice surprise.
    Inky, itylts, 1986 and 8 others like this.
  3. Thanks for your post @Someboy, funnily enough I did what you’d suggested but she said she still will be “ok to attend”. My future Sister In Law is going to give me a way and she’s thrilled to be asked, and she’s been a massive support these past few years so that makes up for it.

    Don’t ask about my husband to be, haha! When we first met, I explained how our relationship was iffy, and he met her and was like “you’re way too harsh, she’s fine”, and it really shocked me and made me reevaluate things. But after the first six months, trying his hardest to be open and friendly he changed his tune, and cannot stand her. Still to this day he makes a superhuman effort to be civil, and it’s not that she’s rude or aggressive or anything, she’s just an idiot. We arranged a surprise party for her birthday and she treated him like staff, she always used to make him take pictures at family events so he wasn’t in them. Really snide, unnecessary things. And still he tries to be civil cos he doesn’t want to add to my stress, especially after my mum and dad dying, but she pushes his buttons immensely.
    IEngineered likes this.
  4. I just want to put this somewhere...

    I went on a date with someone last week for the first time in... a year or so? We'd been kind of circling around it for awhile so after my friends kept bugging me about it, I asked them out. We went to a natural park and had a picnic and talked for a few hours, and then we kissed.

    It was really nice and we've been trying to get together again - they live about an hour and a half away and they're working in a pretty high-risk environment (they're a nurse), so it's difficult to get things to line up. In a weird way it feels safer like this, though. Kissing them was really exciting but it also made me anxious as hell and the day after our date I was feeling detached from reality, which I think was a PTSD flare.

    I used to think that this would only happen with, like, the wrong person, and that the right person wouldn't trigger me. But seeing this person, who I really think is right and who I have a real connection with, is making me rethink that. I'm so used to giving and receiving affection as something transactional that now I'm not sure what the non-transactional version looks like. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.

    It's just hard, and I don't think I ever really put together how challenging it would be - I've tried to have relationships before but they always fizzled out for one reason or another. This is the first time I've felt like I really want it, and really wanting it means actually confronting all the stuff I've internalized about what relationships are, and about what people want from me.

    I'm excited but honestly, more than that, I'm kind of fucking terrified.
    saint, 1986, heavymetalGAGA and 6 others like this.
  5. So, this is out of character for me, but I just got sick of feeling like I’m sitting on the sidelines waiting for something I’m not sure will ever come any time soon. Also feeling like the fact that I’m building things up so much for meeting my eventual long-term guy I’m inevitably setting myself up for even more anxiety. So I started chatting with a very cute guy who is only in town for a couple months. I’ve been very honest with him about everything, just kind of laying it out there about my anxieties and particularly long dry spell. How I worry that I’ve completely lost all game when a lot of times it’s expected we’re all champs at the sex thing at this point.

    I felt like I could do that because his profile focused on kindness and treating others with respect, so I figured what the hell. He is very understanding—“I really love your candor about this :)”—and said he would love to help me get back into the swing of things, so to speak. Really let me know that whatever happens, it’ll be OK. So we’ve made plans to meet up next week once he gets settled into his housing situation and we can be alone with no chance of interruptions. Knowing from the jump that it could be disappointing (or amazing!) for him and it will still be alright soothes some nerves.
    Inky, Island, IEngineered and 9 others like this.
  6. Good luck! I hope it goes well with him.
    man.tis.shrimp likes this.
  7. I think it’s great you’re starting with that level of transparency and he’s already supportive. Always a good sign in my book. Keeping my fingers crossed.
  8. Since I’ve put on my profile my need for someone to ease me back into things, I’ve received multiple messages from exceptionally well-endowed tops wanting to “break me in” and “show me what I’ve been missing.”

    I think these guys want to ruin me, and really that is not the point here!
  9. I mean, it takes a lot to even be that vulnerable on these apps, if only because you're opening yourself up to things just like that.
    man.tis.shrimp likes this.
  10. Yeah not quite what I meant by getting back on the horse.
    SunshineConcubine and lushLuck like this.
  11. Jesus, is empathy dead among gay men? It really doesn't take that much to be that tiny bit more aware, even if you're horny.
    man.tis.shrimp likes this.
  12. HOWLING. My supposed sexual savior has disappeared from Grindr, which either means he's blocked me or deleted his account.

    I give up.

  14. We've got a one-two punch combo winner here, germs.
    magictreehouse likes this.
  15. Mr.Arroz

    Mr.Arroz Staff Member

    Or created a new one and started to find new hoes.
    Island, IEngineered, lucasdc and 2 others like this.
  16. Ugh, I am so sorry. That is such an awful outcome and a really immature way for him to handle things. Men remain the worst.
    IEngineered and Music Is Death like this.
  17. I literally just said screw this and messaged a different guy, and now I’m leaving his hotel room sweaty and freshly fucked.

    I am free from the shackles of my own anxieties. I feel much better.
  18. Glad for you. I hope I can do the same soon.
  19. This is amazing. Sometimes you just need to do something to break the cycle, I hope it's the beginning of bigger and better things for you.
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2022
    lushLuck likes this.
  20. Thanks. It was like a 2/10 and I didn’t even climax. But that’s beside the point. Feels like I can breathe again.
    Sam, IEngineered, Island and 3 others like this.
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