The loss of a group of friends from a carefree time in your twenties is definitely all up in my feels at the moment after going through my 2017 photo collection, and instantly being transported back to that time. It´s funny how you can be so close to people and then drift apart to the point even a simple hi becomes forced, or unresponded to, but you will always have nothing but love for them and hope one day you might bump into them again.
I think it always hits different when you have shared some of your best times with someone, as 2017 was my first year living in Madrid, being able to live an openly gay life, before ending up in a toxic relationship the year after that started to put a strain on these friendships, and for the first time in my life I was able to be fully free and myself, which transpired into the people I surrounded myself with.
There was such a solid bond back then, and it seemed very much unbreakable. Then, as the years passed gradually the friend group became more and more like the final season of Girls dd, by 2020 everyone had ever moved away, fell out or drifted apart. I fell out with my closest friends from the group around then and even though I reconnected with one of them last year, they had also moved far away and outside of the memories and nostalgia, we didn´t have much in common anymore.
With the other, we actually reconnected back in the winter when he reached out and was in a really dark place. We ended up meeting up in the Spring, but he was so far gone off medications I didn´t recognise the bright guy who had been the first friend I´d made 7 years prior. I tried to help him and keep the communication going this year but despite my best efforts, it went back to unanswered calls and messages, and no-one can ever get hold of him these days which is really sad.
As for the others, we like each others posts and occasionally exchange pleasantries every now and then.
But it´s definitely bittersweet going down nostalgia lane thinking about how it was us against the world back in summer 2017.