Depression | The Popjustice Forum


Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by itzkk96, Jul 9, 2011.

  1. itzkk96

    itzkk96 Guest

    I've never been good with words so my first post won't be very long. I've wanted to do this thread for a very long time especially since I've had some terrible things happen to me, I just wondered whether anyone else on this forum has gone through depression.
  2. Mvnl

    Mvnl Staff Member

    Yeah, been there. (More because of wrong medication messing me up than because there was a real reason to be though). Having a depressing life or period in life's terrible, but having depressed feelings without any good reason and suddenly not seeing any point in all things and people you used to love before might be even worse.
  3. I've had it on and off for the last couple of years and it's awful. It usually hits me for a few months, bringing really bad social anxiety with it, then I feel all right for a while. I still live at home and my parents aren't the type to be sympathetic to this sort of illness, so I've never actually told them and when it does hit I have to hide it unless I'm on my own, which I think in turn makes it worse.
  4. I think depression is a lot more common than people like to think. I've been there myself, with years of self harm, years of therapy, suicide attempts and the like, it never goes away but its more something that needs to be embraced rather than rejected. There's no shame in feeling that way, no shame in having depression, the moment you accept those feelings you can make an effort to change them. I bring up my past because it's something I want to be open about, something I want to share in the hope others will see that it's possible to get out of that. For years, I was on medication for it and it just made me worse because it was trying to get rid of that part of me, when that is a part of me, I should accept all of those parts, even the dark ones.

    But depression is a very touchy subject, and all I am here is an Internet persona. Still, it's a great idea to start this thread. It's great to know you're not alone sometimes.
    Alchrist2 likes this.
  5. ^ I really like your way of looking at it. I've been trying for ages to get myself to view my experiences with it the way you do, so thank you for posting that. My main problem is that I was brought up to think the opposite and it's a really hard mindset to get rid of.

    Whenever a celebrity spoke about having depression or a suicide attempt, my parents would be the first to say "what an attention-seeker, he/she's just putting it on to sell their music/films/whatever". If it was someone we knew it was always heavily implied that it only happened to "weak" people and that they should be ashamed of themselves and pull themselves together sharpish. I didn't agree with them but it always made me really hope I'd never get it just so I wouldn't have to hear them talk about me like that.

    So of course when I did get it I was ashamed, didn't tell anybody and tried and failed to "pull myself together" for a while. It was only when I read that Cheryl Cole and Tulisa from N-Dubz had both had depression and then Stephanie Beacham spoke about a suicide attempt that I started to think "Hang on, how can it only happen to weak people who should be ashamed when three people I really admire have all been there?" and that sort of enabled me to get out of it, albeit very slowly. It's weird, I don't think badly of anyone else for having depression but I can still be so hard on myself for it.
  6. I used to suffer from depression and was on medication for it and had therapy. But I stopped taking the meds because I felt like they were only giving me fake happiness and an escape route when I needed to face up to my depression. And yeah eventually I got through it and sometimes yeah I still have feelings that I might head back down that route but I know how to cope now so it doesn't happen again.
  7. Hi, yeah I have depression just now and I'm really pissed off with myself cos I came off my anti-depressants in Feb/March (I think), cos I decided I didn't want to be on them anymore and I want to meet someone and fall in love and I felt that the anti-depressants might stop that from happening (??!) Because they switch off your feelings? (that seems daft now I'm writing it!) I didn't go to the doctor, just withdrew slowly (did the same thing in 2009). Now I have lots of symptoms again and I'm scared that it will be there my whole life. I had counselling and therapy between 2007-2009 and thought that would sort it out, cure it I suppose. I've had a lot of stressful and traumatic things happen around me and to me since childhood which has manifested itself in adulthood depression. I'm 30 now and had my first major bout at age 24, then 27, then 29, now this year, it's becoming more frequent.
  8. Meh! Feeling depressed right now. Sucks.
  9. Wow, this was such a surprise to find. I've definitely experienced it myself, and it's really got a lot worse this year. It's so interesting to hear from other people, but especially sad to hear about suicide attempts and self harm, Jordananan, is everything okay now?
  10. Less sugar!
  11. It's great for losing weight and looking fabulous!
  12. I think the danger with depression is that unless it is clinical - that is, there are not enough chemicals in your brain for you to function rationally - there is the risk that acknowledging it leads to basking in it. I've experienced friendships and relationships with several people in varying degrees of depression (my family has a history, parties at ours are amazing), and whilst it is awful there really isn't anything anyone else can do.

    It's about self power. I ended up telling myself to shut the fuck up and enjoy my life. It obviously doesn't work for everyone but it worked for me and that is that.

    I'm questioning the use in discussing it on the forum but as long as no-one throws any tantrums or starts using this thread to create gravity around themselves I don't see why I should close it.
  13. Yes, thankfully I'm past all of that. Thank you!
  14. I guess that in some ways, I've got elements of depression.

    I go through pretty significant bouts of loneliness and social anxiety, and I'm terrible at maintaining any kind of sustained friendship with someone without closing them off, keeping them at a distance, or feeling like I've run my course with them. That sort of thing can sometimes lead to me questioning, really, the point of it all. It's a bit lame of me to say, and I hate being the woe-is-me type, but I've not really got anyone I'd class as a best friend. Just going out buddies, gym buddies, course buddies, work buddies. Nothing overly significant.

    It's nothing I've really spoken to about to anyone as, in an employment, academic and financial sense, my life's going brilliantly to plan.
  15. Mvnl

    Mvnl Staff Member

    The stupid thing I've noticed is once I'm depressed I start wondering what's the point of it all, and asking myself all kind of critical questions I can't answer. Once I feel better I sometimes try to find positive answers so I can remember them when I feel bad again, but the truth is, the main difference between being depressed and not for me is: when I feel good I just don't ask myself those questions. Once they come up it's hard to let go though, being slightly obsessive and all.
  16. How do you guys deal with your depression? I think mine is realted to my sexuality and who I am.. I don't really wanna delve into the matter too much as it's pretty sensitive to me, but have any of you had any experiences with counsellors and such? Did it help you?
  17. I've been there. It lasted for about one and a half year, and looking back I don't really know how I got depressed in the first place. Bad relationships and doing bad in college played a very big part, but it seemed the depression appeared just as quickly and suddenly as it disappeared 18 months later.

    I still have moments that I feel unhappy, but I've noticed that talking about it really helps. For me, it really helps to be honest about how I feel so it's not really a scary and secretive thing any more.
  18. LJB


    Yeah, I can relate to this. My depression definitely goes hand in hand with social anxiety which is a bitch because they form the perfect, insulating symbiosis that's so difficult to break.

    I think my parents divorce coupled by not getting into the Uni I wanted after having kinda identified myself as 'the smart one' ultimately pushed me into depression. I used to be quite an idealist (too much, in fact) and very hopeful but since last year I've become the most cynical person I know.
  19. I sort of went through this as well, for like 2 years at least. I found myself feeling lonely and crying in my bed at nights, thoughts of ending it all etc. I'm glad I didn't. It was a terrible phase in my life. I went to seek doctors, got appointments and cancelled them last miniute because I didn't know what to tell them / didn't dare to because I wasn't so sure about it either. I do not like thinking of this time although it was around the time I got my driving license.
  20. I'm going to write a bit of my story (if thats okay)...

    I was born in 1993 to christian parents, about Year 9 (secondary school) I started to realise I was 'different' I went to an all boys school and started finding myself attracted to one or two of the guys, I had plenty of female friends, so I don't think the all male situation really brought it on.

    Over the next few years I began to understand who I was, realise I was gay, I had a really hard time accepting myself and then beginning to figure out how I was going to tell others. Coming out actually was really easy to me and was such a blessing to be accepted however I did have the expected bullies on my back, it didn't really bother me. Over time it really began to bother me to be this way, I am actually a Christian and have been baptised, this is where my depression kicked in, probably around Year 11/first year of college. I went to a college where at first I literally knew no one and I felt very alone, it was almost a fresh start for me.

    Anyway, back on depression... I met a few gay guys around but I often found myself falling for straight guys and often hurting myself inside, I regularly though about self harming and sometimes suicide, though i never caved in to it. I tried my GP once and got knocked down and was just told to seek help, gee, thanks.

    Through my own 'diagnosis' I have discovered its often guys that bring me down, perhaps because I was bullied by guys and not girls but also because I often beat myself up about my looks and not having a boy friend. I was once told in church by a close friend that I wasn't 'supposed' to be gay, this cut me deep and set me off on several weeks of severe depression.

    I often find myself pondering why I don't have a boyfriend, I often think a relationship will give me security and strength within myself, though I suspect that is probably not how it works. I do see myself as a vulnerable person at times and I can get very hung up about being left out by friends and so on. I sometimes find that the media can get me down, quite often soaps where relationships are so 'perfect and happy' if you could say that.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that the world can be a cruel and hard place sometimes but I believe theres someone out there for all of us who will give us all we need, its not always an easy journey but often life's tests and challenges make us stronger for the future. I know there are a lot of challenges ahead for me, but I say, bring it, I am ready to fight it. If anyone ever wants to talk, feel free to PM me and we can chat!

    I do hope someone reads this... (awkward laughter)
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