I originally posted this in Dating/Relationships, but because this situation is having such an impact on my mental health, I'm going to post it here too:
I'm in a really stressful situation.
My 35-year-old brother is currently dating this 21-year-old girl with dissociative identity disorder. This girl always has some tragedy happening to her that somebody has to help her with. My mother, who my brother lives with (they both lived with my grandmother, who died last month), once picked my brother up from hanging out with her and the girl drives her uncle's car into my mother's car, damaging it pretty bad. My mom wanted the uncle's insurance information to get her car fixed but her aunt and uncle begged her not to get insurance into it because the girlfriend would get in trouble for driving drunk and without a license. My brother also begged my mom not to and said he would pay for it (he has not but doesn't really make enough money to realistically do this).
Fast forward and my mom starts letting this girl come to the house and stay over. I was supposed to come over one day but then I found out that the girlfriend is staying two weeks with her dogs because he needs to get them vaccinated to live at her uncle's apartment (they were all living in a motel before). But then she changes the story, basically saying her uncle just wants to kick her out and she'll leave last Thursday because she's moving in with her friend. But now that fell through and she's still there. And I refuse to go to my grandma's house while she's still living there. I told my mom that she was trying to stealth move in and that seems exactly what's happening. It's all making me feel sick. My mom actually took all her own private info out of the house because she didn't trust the girlfriend yet she won't put her foot down. It's all such foolishness and I wish my brother would wake up.
Update to this situation: every time this girl is going to move in with someone, it falls though. My mom is getting frustrated and texted some negative things about her to my brother. The girlfriend saw the messages, which is ridiculous because there's no reason she needs to see his texts. And now my brother is saying "she has nowhere to go. She's in survival mode" and that my mom "fucked up" his relationship even though she let the girl live at my dead grandmother's house for three weeks (and is still letting her live there). And then the girlfriend also said she was going to stay with a brother he didn't know about, but then when I asked my brother about it, he said that isn't a thing. To add further insult to this, he's accusing me of also "fucking" with him because I don't approve of the relationship. In reality, I didn't do anything and I'm allowed to have my opinions. Meanwhile, my mom is struggling to pay the mortgage on the house and I had to lend her 500 dollars. We're busting our ass at work to keep a roof over their head and he's coming at us because we don't like this weird relationship. Most people wouldn't have let her live with them, especially since he's known her all of three months. Her own uncle supposedly "kicked" her out. He insists the aunt and uncle are not "good people" even though he only knows her side of the story. He believes her without question even though she's been so obviously sketchy.
Now apparently she's going to move in with a friend today. It will fall through and my brother still won't wake the fuck up. This man is 35 and he's desperate to keep his relationship with a chaotic 21 year old. This is the girl that wrecked my mom's car driving drunk without a license and didn't pay for it in any form. Me and my mother are adulting while my brother and her act like teenagers who think the world is against them.
I'm so incredibly frustrated. He's basically throwing his family under the bus for this girl who he barely knows but he's convinced he's in love with. I'm offended that he would accuse me of bad intentions when I bought him a PS5 after his last girlfriend took the one she gave him back.
The most frustrating thing is that everybody can see the issues with this relationship, but he can't for the life of him. There was a moment where he was arguing with her where we thought he might be waking up, but then she somehow got him to go even harder to bat for her.
My grandma's dead, I miss my brother, and work is making me sick. I teach high school and the kids are acting so unhinged it's becoming disturbing and leaving me wiped out every day. I don't want to exist anymore.