I don't know if it's S.A.D. amplifying things (I'm sure it is), but I've been feeling intensely lonely as of late. I've struggled to make regular lasting friends here in the city, and the ones I have I only see once every couple months. My love life has been in shambles in regards to dead ends, but I've been so lonely that I keep putting myself in bad situations with guys that disrespect me, or even getting feelings over people who aren't that great in the first place. At my work party the other night, I had to drink a bunch before I could be social or cut loose enough to not be anxious or self-conscious about being there. It's like I'm caught in this cycle of being depressed because I'm lonely, but then that depression keeps me from changing things or in the rare case of me doing so keeps me from cutting loose from situations that exacerbate that loneliness.