Did music help you with your sexuality? | Page 6 | The Popjustice Forum

Did music help you with your sexuality?

Discussion in 'Pop & Justice' started by ADolla, Feb 25, 2009.

  1. God, that song really affected me too back in the day (especially with the video).

    This reminds me how I love the fact that different people can get completely different things from the same lyric - I have always read that line as "are you happy, are you sad?" (with the implication that there isn't much between the two sometimes). The 'gay' Tori line that always got me was "is your place in heaven worth giving up these kisses?" from Cooling (still one of my favourite lines in a song ever, as it happens).
     
  2. Rmx

    Rmx

    That was a nice read, Jonathan! What you said about how Britney helped you makes so much sense. She's never explicitly campaigned for the gays but what you said makes a lot of sense and I feel the same way!
     
  3. I was just thinking the exact opposite. I can completely understand how Madonna, Gaga or Xtina could help people out but what on earth could Britney Spears (Britney Spears????) contribute?

    I'm not questioning anyone's journey I just find it inexplicable that Britney would be the one to lead the way.
     
  4. Fucking hell. It's easy to forget that such things still go on in the developed world. I'm sorry to hear that.
     
  5. A friend of mine was sent to camp to stop him being gay. He's now a fucked up basket case. Lovely boy but a mess.

    Well done Jonathan for coping with it so well.
     
  6. Archvile6

    Archvile6 Guest

    Fuck no. The music I listened to was so blatantly gay that I got teased on a perpetual basis for being gay based solely on the music I listened to. Music fucked me over in highschool because I didn't listen to rap.
     
  7. See Lady Gaga does not help me with being gay.. stuff like Born This Way and the other gay-related stuff she does makes me feel embarrassed...

    Stuff that did help me was Xtina - Beautiful, Madonna - Human Nature, Why's It So Hard, In This Life ('shouldn't matter who you choose to love') and Janet Jackson's Velvet Rope album....I suppose stuff that is a little more dignified and serious rather than Gaga's in your face scene queen stuff.
     
  8. TeenIdle

    TeenIdle Guest

    I don't think something, for example, like pop music, for the most part, can help as a sort of advancement for the LGBT community, but it acts more as just a venue for some people to relate to. Maybe it's the usage of female sexuality and femininity and the whole concept of it being the "underdog" genre in the greater scheme of music. For the most part, it's usually members of the LGBT, community, specifically gay men, looking for some kind of media to relate to or enjoy that doesn't generally put out negative homophobic messages (rap and hip hop), isn't attached to a usually conservative, religion group (country music) or is dominated by men and masculinity (rock).

    This is why I can appreciate someone like Gaga's efforts, as they go far beyond the connection just being coincidence and just being the very first baby steps of putting out visuals and songs on a mainstream level that don't conform to a very heteronormative-based media. As a gay man, someone like Lady Gaga really helped me in the normalizing the ideas of sexual and gender identity.

    Gender and sexuality are far too closely related for discussion to just occur on one, and the issue with femininity in the gay community is still a bit disheartening and something only really touched on in underground genres. Something like the queer NYC rap scene does a great job at featuring gay artists tackling issues of being a feminine gay man. An artist like Mykki Blanco being a drag and trans performer I think helps me and others deal with issues of gender identity, especially coming from a place of already being scrutinized and facing discrimination for one's sexual orientation.
     
  9. I'm Mormon (not exactly by choice...) and whenever I'm feeling sexually repressed--which is pretty often, yay Mormonism and it's unhealthy obsession with sexuality--I love to give Blackout a spin. The record itself is incredibly sexual and it gains a special significance when you look at the person singing it. Britney is a religious person in her personal life, but she is just here for sex on Blackout. The transition in Britney's music from family-friendly "I'm a virgin and proud of it!" to "I have sex. Deal with it." mirrors a lot of sexually repressed people's journeys.

    It's a liberating album to someone like me who has been raised to think of sex (and sexual feelings) as shameful and guilty all their life. Britney isn't singing "My body is calling out for you bad boy / And that is a sinful thing so I must immediately feel guilty and repent myself into a shame spiral." It's thrilling to reframe sex in your mind from something soul-destroying and horrible (unless it's in marriage! Then it's TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!) to something that pretty much everyone does and it can actually be fun.

    So yeah, I can totally understand how Britney can help someone understand their own sexuality. I'm one of them.
     
  10. To be honest, music never really played a part in my growing up and exploring my sexuality. Any of the 'gay' artists I listen to I didn't really realise had this following until well into my fandom (e.g Pet Shop Boys), it never really occured to me. The only one that I knew had this big gay following was Madonna, although attached to her is a sentimental value from listening to her when I was little (blame my mum) and the fact that I respect her artistry which is often overlooked by this whole 'gay icon' rubbish.

    Why do people pin up these big popstars as 'gay icons', when really, deep down, they've done naff all for gay people?
     
  11. I'm not following you here... is your family mormon? And they make you "be" too? Ew.
     
  12. Well, all my family and friends are Mormon, and I don't want to "come out" as a nonbeliever (or gay) just yet, so it's more of a closeted situation. I guess I have a choice, but it's "be socially ostracized and treated like a broken person." The choice I prefer, "just live my life," doesn't exist until I leave town. So, I'm currently a gay atheist/agnostic living the life of a straight Mormon! Not stressful at all!
     

  13. THIS!

    Songs that helped me/i related to
    Miley Cyrus - My Heart Beats For Love
    Madonna - Nobody Knows Me (a strange one i know)
    Britney in general, Britneys gay acceptance made me love her, i felt equal, where as Gaga made me feel like a bit of a freak.
     
  14. I grew up in the 80's (In case you didn't know) We had Culture Club, Dead or Alive, Pet Shop Boys, Erasure, Mark Almond, Bronski Beat, Frankie Goes To Hollywood etc

    Not that any of these specifically helped me with my sexuality (I don't think) but the very fact that they were visible must have made a difference.

    Whilst societly is a lot more tolerant these days it's strange how pop music's tolerence for gay performers has completely evaporated.

    Instead of multiple gay acts all displaying a different side of homosexuality we have safe, homogenised gays that the mums can love and wouldn't dream of discussing actual sex for fear of scaring the horses.

    From 'Relax' to Will Young in one generation isn't really progress.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2012
  15. I don't recall music really helping me out with my sexuality, I think in general it helps with all kinds of emotional venting so in an indirect way, maybe.

    However, when I finally came out to my mother, and she accused me of doing drugs out of nowhere (because she assumed that, if I was hiding my sexuality from her, then I must be dishonest about other things), I refused to leave my room for the whole week and was reading Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights. That book has ZERO to do with homosexuality, but it was such a catharsis.

    Strange, I know.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2012
  16. To me it all started with me dancing to Spice Girls alone in my room. My parents and my brother "had a feeling I could be gay" then, but somehow in my adolescence I went full throttle back into the closet, to the point no one in my life thinks I'm gay nowadays. I live in a completely hetero and homophobic world.

    Few people know my liking of Britney and Gaga and Beyonce music, and somehow even those don't link it to being gay, they just think I like bad music.

    BUT, it may sound corny, but somehow Lady Gaga helped me accept myself A LOT. It sounds really corny and stupid even to me, but trust me, it affected me, in a very positive way. So much so that, if before I was terrifed of being outed, nowadays I simply don't care. I still haven't come out because I think I don't really need to as of now, but I'm not really bothered if anyone finds out. I'll just live my life and say "yep I'm gay". And Gaga helped me a lot to understand that I'm not alone. Not that I will be her friend or shit like that, but just to know that there are so many people out there like me, feeling the same way as I did. I didn't even go to the Monster Ball, but just hearing her speeches through youtube...it was very liberating.

    And that's why I respect her so much. Because I'm sure she's helping thousands, if not millions, of people coming to terms with their sexuality, and stop thinking they're abnormal or that there's anything wrong with them.
     
  17. Oh and, although musically I still don't like Born This Way, there was one single line in that song that made me rethink my entire life:

    "I must be myself respect my youth".

    That line made me see how much time and youth I was losing by simply refusing to sleep/date with guys because I refused to accept I was gay and wanted to live an hetero life. I cannot express how much that one single lyric affected my life.
     
  18. I must say that Gaga has done fuck all for my sexuality, but only because I came-out several years before we even knew her name. She made a good point though in the PJ newspaper interview about some gay people being offended by Born This Way:

     
  19. I can't recall music really helping with my sexuality, because luckily for me it wasn't exactly a huge problem, my family are very open-minded and I never really had a big coming out moment.

    I suppose I was hammering the Spice Girls and Christina Aguilera's Stripped before I had even hit puberty or thought about sexuality, so maybe that prepared me.
     
  20. This is very true, and something I felt personally when I was younger (and projected a more ambiguous gender identity). Mind you, I found my solace in theorists like Eve Sedgwick rather than in music.
     
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