***Flawless: The Beyoncé Discography Rate Top 50 (COMPLETE)

25

Beyonce_Billboard_2.jpg


SCORE: 8.383
Highest Score: 10 x 25 (@PLUTO @AlexD @IMHO @send photo @lalaclairi_ @Number @RJF @K94 @WarmBlood11 @LTG @KAG @Jonathan27 @kermit_the_frog @Pinkie @BeingBoring @Jam @Maria @P'NutButter @RetroPhysical @allyshone @Jersey @Conan @Oceandrive @Mr.Arroz @theincredibleflipper)
Lowest Score: 5 x 3 (@First2Run @LPMA @Sprockrooster)
My Score: 10/10

Outstanding. The way it plays with Beyoncé’s vocals is genius. How it starts with her reserved, exhausted mumbling before you have her more traditionally expected vocals echoing from the second verse onwards, like an aching inner monologue, and then it’s those vocals that take over completely for the total emotional takeover. The middle-eight and its reprise are heart wrecking.

We kick off with Remyky22, "More Frank Ocean than it is Beyoncé, but somehow it feels fitting on this album." That's funny, I don't hear any atonal, layering screaming. Or aimless murmuring passing for depth. Or general dickheadery. Maybe that's just me! CasuallyCrazed serves some soulless mess, "Something about the production feels underbaked. The chorus doesn’t really go anywhere." I mean, it goes straight to your heart, but whatever. ohnostalgia enjoys the delicacy of it all, "There's a nice sparseness here." and K94 awards it full marks, "So achingly beautiful – the internal screaming from the second verse always kills me." while ericcccc appreciates it as, "A moody moment. Much appreciated."

joe_alouder declares it, "Quietly heartbreaking." and IMHO is sobbing, "Underrated, understated, heartbreaking majesty. "It hurts my pride to tell you how I feel but I still need to" gives me all of the feels." See, that's why I haven't been replying to your PMs. My pride. Jersey proclaims it to be, "One of Frank's best contributions to music. Instant highlight from the get go." It's probably going to be Frank's best contribution to music if he keeps going the way he's going. KAG co-signs (kind of) in both sentiment and score, "I honestly think this is one of the best songs Frank Ocean has ever written. The production is suitably moody and intense, the message is one everyone can relate with, and Beyoncé sounds gorgeous."

"Dreamy, heartbreaking, and beautifully sung." says ThighHighs, "The added echo in the last chorus ("but. you're. a.way.") really add to the wistful effect. I'm deducting a point because I don't enjoy the double layered vocals through most of the second verse and chorus. The effect doesn't work for me." Mess. That's one of the most brilliant things about the whole song. constantino serves further mess by lamenting the fact it isn't a bop, "This is a nice, swooning ballad…but an uptempo was really needed at this point in the record. The production is gorgeous, mind."

We will close with Oceandrive, who gave this a 10/10, " When I said 1+1 could be her finest ballad, this is another track that stakes a claim to that title. I Miss You is utterly stunning in its simplicity. It took Frank Ocean to drag Beyoncé out of her comfort zone and give her the gift of restraint and vulnerability, and boy does she deliver. Ultimately as beautiful as the production and vocals are, I think I Miss You ultimately resonates so much because it's so universally understood, "It don't matter who you love, it is so simple, I feel it " Mmm yes punch me in the gut until I have internal bleeding.

The song got performed during the Roseland showcases, the A Night With Beyoncé ITV special, and also had a place on the setlist of the first leg of the Mrs Carter Show Tour. It doesn't have a video, because that probably would have been too fucking much, quite frankly.






 
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And finally, something completely different.

24

Blow.jpg


Score: 8.408
Highest Score: 10 x 20 (@Daniel! @scottdisick94 @enjoy @2014 @ohnostalgia @ohdenny @ThighHighs @Animalia @ericcccc @eccentricsimply @constantino @Laura Vanderbooben @Petty Mayonnaise @dodoriazarbon @Terminus @JamesJupiter @Itty Bitty Piggy @Pinkie @P'NutButter @RetroPhysical)
Lowest Score: 4 x 1 (@AlexD)
My Score: 8/10

I'm going to start this write up off by apologising to anyone who has submitted commentary for "Blow"... because all but one of you is not going to be included. After saving this rate from oblivion, I hope you'll allow me this one moment of self-indulgence, and perhaps thank me for it afterwards. I initially found this particular bit of commentary while compiling comments for another song, and... it had me instantly hooked. A truly harrowing story; the kind that can sometimes fuse itself to a moment or a song and never come away from it. It's very clear this is what happened here in the case of "Blow", so it only felt right to give the floor entire to it. This person also didn't want this story to be included in the write ups... but it's too good not to share, so I'll share it with no name attached.

So, without ado...

"Okay, so. When I worked at a bathhouse there was this one twink that was in the top 5 of my bad patron hitlist. Whenever he’d come in he had a playlist he never once deviated from blasting from his shitty phone speakers and this is the song that always kicked it off. So underneath the blaring club mixes of the bathhouse’s playlist you’d hear the indecipherable tinging of your favourite tunes not limited to but including Blow, Unusual You, and Pour It Up. If you’d follow the music you’d find an open room with a boy ass up gently swaying his hips eagerly awaiting some penetration. This seems harmless, but what really made him an abomination was the state of his room after. When any decent human being checks out they tidy up a bit. Throw those condoms in the convenient bedside trash, wipe off the shit from the walls, take the leftovers of your illegal drugs with you. But not this asshole. If ever I were to properly define slopabottomus it would be this hot mess. I hate the term triggering but every time I hear Blow I just think of how he’d quite literally blow his shit directly on the walls. I can’t eat skittles. I’ve deviated far from the rate and I don’t want any of this in the write ups, I just wanted you to understand why I gave Blow such an undeservedly low score."

SLOPABOTTOMUS...

SLOPABOTTOMUS.

SLOPABOTTOMUS!

SLOPAFUCKINGBOTTOMUS!!!!!!!!!





 
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Also it turns out that said low score was actually put into spreadsheet incorrectly (@strangekin sis for fuck sake...) which changes "Blow" to No.26, moving "Baby Boy" and "I Miss You" up a spot. At this point, I fucking cannot be bothered going back to change everything, so it's all staying the same.
 
I'm so cremated at not only the story, but someone writing a whole DAMN essay only to cut ties with it.
 
TOP 23

Crazy In Love (Feat. Jay-Z)

Ring The Alarm
Irreplaceable

Love On Top
Countdown
End of Time
Schoolin' Life

Haunted
Drunk In Love (Feat. Jay-Z)
Partition
Jealous
Mine (Feat. Drake)
XO
***Flawless (Feat. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

Pray You Catch Me
Hold Up
Don't Hurt Yourself (Feat. Jack White)
Sorry
6 Inch (Feat. The Weeknd)
Daddy Lessons
Freedom (Feat. Kendrick Lamar)
All Night
Formation
 

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