"Gay loneliness" | Page 25 | The Popjustice Forum

"Gay loneliness"

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Raisin Hell, Mar 5, 2017.

  1. 2014

    2014 Moderator

    Dee91, Jonathan27, Animalia and 17 others like this.
  2. Going to the cinema or dining alone are wonderful experiences and everyone should do it. Are you afraid of being judged? Being alone with your thoughts? Not filling every waking moment with someone else to distract you from the fact that we entered this world alone and will exit it just the same?

    It’s nice to do stuff solo. It really is.
  3. It's great to experience a movie with friends sometimes but nobody should feel that they have to. Me and a mate went to see every Hunger Games film together as we were big fans of the books, and it was something we actively looked forward to, but most of the time I am happy to go alone because I can switch off and enjoy the movie and not spend a day and half trying to coordinate people.
    andru likes this.
  4. I have done the whole going to a coffee shop, grabbing a drink and a piece of cake and sit inside, chill and read my book and that was quite lovely. I'm not sure how comfortable I'd feel going to a restaurant and eating alone though.
  5. Seriously why though? What’s the difference? I hope I’m not being aggressive, but I’m curious where this unwillingness to do something by yourself comes from.
    andru, johnny_tsunami and enjoy like this.
  6. Nowhere. I have done plenty I'm just gauging others perception of it.
  7. I went to see some cheap-ass horror movie on my own once and two girls turned to me and were all like "aww we'll be your friend!" Told those Becky's I was reviewing it for the local rag.

    Leave me in peace and let me enjoy my dead teen carnage without you texting or asking "what do I know her from?" every 8 minutes.
    andru, Fascination, ibelieve and 2 others like this.
  8. This tea.

    I really don't notice or care about what strangers are doing alone in a restaurant or in a cinema, so why would anyone really take an interest in what I'm doing?

    I'm currently living in Amsterdam (where I am going to be for the next three months). I know absolutely no one in the city and it has been wonderful to discover that I very much can go to a restaurant by myself, or go solo to a concert without any friends to accompany me. In fact, in some ways, it can be better because you never have to compromise or where you go, what you do, or how long you stay.

    I completely get that it's a process, but learning to be by yourself and enjoy your own company is honestly one of the most wonderful things in life to develop because it really is a massive step towards self-love.
  9. Dining alone is fantastic if you get the right place and you're not feeling a bit fragile or low. If I'm in a good mood I'll grab a window seat, order a glass of wine, and pig the fuck out. I'll watch the world go by or check out a few newspaper articles on my phone. It's blissful to just be able to take that time out for yourself.
    Jonathan27, andru, spillett and 2 others like this.
  10. Just pretend to be busy when you're in a coffee shop or restaurant, if you're alone. No one would mind. I do it all the time. Checking the crowd would just make you lonely that you are really eating by yourself. Anyway, just embrace being a loner.
    Pecans likes this.
  11. I need to be social and in other people's company, but I do have my moments where I just want to be alone and enjoy it. I don't need to "look busy" or anything, just doing nothing by yourself can feel freeing.
    spillett and LoveSoSoft like this.
  12. Is it bad that noone contacts to me for any social event and i end up alone everytime unless i'm the one who is taking the first step? I am a bit tired of trying to make myself busy all the damn time.
  13. Yesterday I went for coffee and cake alone and today and took an early evening trip to the cinema by myself.
    roborovsky and andru like this.
  14. And now that someone invited me to a gathering tonight, my introverted self kicked in and i said no to them. I fucking hate myself...

    And yeah i'm coming out to my family on the phone this week dd. I was today but my sister is pregnant and she is a bit ill so i decided to spare them from the "bad news."

    Someone just end my suffering already.
  15. I've only been to the cinema alone once to see the first Sex and the City film, haha. I'm pretty sure I was still in Sixth Form so I skipped lessons and went mid-morning. There was only two other people in the theatre and it was a great experience! The film is so long and a little meandering at times so I'm glad no one came with me because I think they'd have got restless. I would definitely go alone again if I wanted to see a film and no one else did, the actual experience of watching the film is a solitary one so I don't miss the company while inside, the only thing you miss is the interactions before and after, but you can tell people all about it once you get back.

    I've been to plenty of gigs by myself and I don't mind at all. I don't really go to big pop shows anymore, and prefer smaller intimate venues, so it's never an issue. You tend to meet people there if you feel able to say hello and have a conversation about the artist you're seeing, and if you like to see the same artist multiple times, you begin to recognise other fans and become friendly with them.

    I used to go out and eat lunch alone at a previous job because our break times were staggered and never lined up. It felt a little strange at first to be sitting in cafes, or alone in parks with a take-out, but after a while you begin to see so many other people doing the same that it becomes pretty normal. I don't enjoy eating out much, but I'd definitely do it alone if I had to.
    ImaginationS likes this.
  16. I purposely booked a seat in the corner at the back. When I booked there were hardly any seats taken and 2 empty ones next to me. Perfect.

    When I got there, every bloody seat was taken and the cinema was packed!
    andru and Terminus like this.
  17. I've eaten alone many times while away for work. It's really calming and I look forward to it.

    There's no rule that says tables of less than two people aren't welcome. If you try it, you'll probably find it liberating... No arrangements to make, no chatter about someone's idiot ex while you eat, no-one texting at the table (I hate it when people do that).
  18. True. They should do single tables/seats like on some buses ha.

    I'm actually going to a gig tonight in London... solo.
    LoveSoSoft, andru and mcuk like this.
  19. Great stuff. Who you seeing?
  20. I've come out to my sister and her reaction has been disappointing to say the least. Welp, i have no desire to do anything.
    LoveSoSoft, andru and Ivan Mani like this.
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