GAY | Page 234 | The Popjustice Forum


Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. Sheesh, he lives in Montana. It's not like there's a lot of people there in general, especially those in the gay community.
  2. I made a gay friend who's 35 from Grindr who tried to hook up with me and we kind of just laughed it off and started randomly talking to each other as friends as I low key tried to avoid seeing him the whole summer. I eventually met him over the holiday break and he's really cool and we still text each other basically almost every day and talk about anything/everything.
  3. Thank you.
  4. Boy, bye. I was nice, gave you advice, answered your question if you were missing something; which you then called "laughable". My sincerest apologies for not knowing you lived in fucking Montana.
    Chezam, munro and Shockbox like this.
  5. Why are you so fucking aggressive? I asked a question. You’re being confrontational.
    Rem, nikkysan, ThisIsRogue and 4 others like this.
  6. I don't have many gay friends either. I have one gay friend who lives near me, but we don't see each other much because his work requires him to travel, and a few who live further away. I meet up with them semi-regularly which is nice. A lot of my friends are straight women. I'd love to have more gay friends for the reasons @Shockbox mentioned - being able to talk about gay things with people who actually understand the experience rather than people who empathise with it or can only take an interest from the periphery - and certainly realise that feeling that by not having gay friends you miss out on something as a gay man. I have used the apps for meeting friends in the past, particularly OkCupid which feels more about friendships/relationships than something like Grindr does. It can work well as long as you're clear about what you want (one of my friends who lives away from me I met through OkCupid) but its tricky when you live in a small area, as you do need to cast the net further afield to meet anyone and that doesn't always translate to good friendships or the kind of friendship you're looking for.
    DominoDancing and yewchapel like this.
  7. Apps like Meetup help here - I live in a semi-rural area of the UK (not Montana by any means!) and even just a general local LGBT social night is something. I'm sure the other gay guys in Montana would at least like more gay friends. Online friendships also help. I empathise though - I have v few male gay friends and I feel similarly about missing out on something.
    londonrain, DominoDancing and andru like this.
  8. It’s certainly worth looking out for LGBT social groups or social nights - LGBT running clubs, LGBT music/theatre groups, LGBT sports groups... anything at all. I have no idea if those things exist in Montana but it’s worth looking for. It also helps to get involved in community events like Pride.
    Island, yewchapel and andru like this.
  9. This is a British thing, isn't it? I remember looking at job applications in Northern Ireland and being shocked that they ask your sexual orientation and race (it's optional information but still).
  10. Yeah, it always surprises me when job applications come with a separate (anonymous) sheet for HR and ask about your sexual orientation. I remember when I first started applying for jobs it would stop at age, gender, race and disability. I suppose it's good to keep track of diversity in the workplace though. I have to say from my experience, the jobs I've had where they have asked these questions do tend to have better diversity. I don't think they're able to use that information in any real way to consider who to hire, but it does perhaps help them develop strategies to hire more minorities and consider ways to create inclusive environments where people feel comfortable and able to be open.
    londonrain likes this.
  11. I have one male gay best friend, lots of gay acquaintances, a couple of straight male friends, but most of my friends are female. Always have been, always will be. And I love it. Me girls.
    I’ve never fallen into a friendship group that’s all gay men, and you can’t miss what you’ve never had can.
    James2009 likes this.
  12. I had a couple of short lived friendships with other gay men at University, but they both decided to club together and message someone I quite fancied at the time and message him over Facebook to say not to get with me because I was a slut. Then they both hit on him in the message.

    That kinda soured my opinion on being able to be friends with other gay men for a while, and I’ve never really been big on scene culture.
  13. They sound like horrendous people. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. That's awful.

    The point I made on the previous page about LGBT social groups applies here as well. Scene culture is fun and all that, but if you do want to have more LGBT friends and acquaintances (and not everybody does), then social groups are a boon.
    nikkysan, Lander, He and 1 other person like this.
  14. I've never seen this for a job. Saw it at a dentist once alongside some question about me being 'more likely to have HIV' and was outraged. I drew a little tick box and wrote 'go fuck yourself' next to it underneath.

    As for gay friends, my closest gays are becoming a little too right-wingy of late. One of them is from an Eastern European country and has always had quite odd views, but now they're both pro-Brexit and Treeza and I'm backing off like

    Last edited: Feb 11, 2018
  15. I had this huge crush on a Polish boy when I was living there until he said something like black people will never be as smart as white people because of the shape of their skull.

    I still disgust myself for even laying eyes on him.

    As for friends... it's quite hard to make new ones the older you get?
    Like, I moved to Birmingham back in 2015 and all the people I've met (through the apps...) just want a hook up.
    There's this guy I liked (as a friend) but he's just so worried about his IG fame and getting likes than to enjoy whatever concert/film/thing we're doing, so... meh.

    I had a group of straight friends, but apparently I've done something that bothered the queen bee (I've no idea what) and now all of them ignore me.
    nikkysan, He, yewchapel and 2 others like this.
  16. I think I worded that badly, making it sound like I think Eastern Europe and right wingers are mutually exclusive - which is not what I meant. My friend is a proud Russian, and has yet to shed some of the anti-progressive viewpoints of his upbringing.
  17. Queen of fighting for equality from the barbers chair x
    Jacques, Kuhleezi, Rem and 9 others like this.
  18. It's definitely much harder to make friends the older you get especially once you're out of education and begin working. Although I get on with my colleagues, they're more like acquaintances than friends, which I think is for the best as things get tricky when work-based friendships become strained... the last thing you want is to be stuck between colleagues who are arguing, or arguing with one yourself!
    londonrain likes this.
  19. Yeah, making colleagues at work is fine, but at least mine (teachers) just speak about work if we’re out?
    Like on Friday, we had this staff do and all I heard was “I’m doing this training “, “The new GCSE are so hard”, “X student is leaving the school “. We have the common room for that!

    Still, I’m used to taking myself out to things.
    I don’t need company to go to the cinema/theatre anyway!

    Oh, I didn’t mean to relate the two, just that your message reminded me of that anecdote.
    I’ve lived in both Poland and Russia and I was surprised at how open people were (much more in Poland than in Russia tho), but I always felt they were quite old school in their openness (I don’t mind gay people but don’t hit on me, etc).
    londonrain and andru like this.
  20. Not at all, I noticed it before you even replied so totally my bad.
    londonrain likes this.
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