GAY | Page 651 | The Popjustice Forum


Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. That’s awful and also an extremely strange bit of commentary to associate with those comments by Andrew Scott, which in my opinion are quite benign.
    londonrain, Sam, sapnu puas and 3 others like this.
  2. Hello. So, despite the fact I post on a pop music forum multiple times on a daily basis, I’ve never been publicly out until tonight.

    I was out at a Drag night tonight (with Scarlet Envy, Mercedes Iman and Shuga Cain) when my best judy went to the toilet and a lad came over to me and stuck his tongue down my throat. Unfortunately, she came back unexpectedly to ask for something out her bag and caught me pulling another lad. So, that sort of forced me to come out to her. Turns out the other lad was married and he shouldn’t have even been pulling me in the first place but even so, this now leaves me in an awkward position. She has said she is entirely supportive but I always said I would speak to my family before I told anyone else.

    I guess, I’m looking for a bit of advice from you guys on how you came out. How did your family take it? What immediate steps did you take?
  3. I came out to all my friends & one cousin before telling the rest of my family. It’s all about who you’ve got the closest relationship with & who you know will support you. I recommend coming out to the easiest people to tell first because then it becomes more normalised for you and you can learn how to go about the situation in the best way. Also it feels nice to be accepted from people so that builds your confidence up about telling the people you think may take it harder.
    Lander, MixmasterRemix, Sam and 10 others like this.
  4. Well my mam and auntie found my MySpace and had taken screenshots of comments on my page and questioned why I was leaving ‘x’s’ on boys comments/pages. She did not take it well at all and made me delete my account (my brother had came out to her not long before that). My Dad on the other hand was incredibly supportive, my mam, at the time said it was because they were divorced and he didn’t have to put up with me (loool). It was incredibly messy for a good couple of years. But I stayed true to myself and never shied away from me being gay and always brought it up into conversation even if my mam hated it at the time. This all happened when I was around 16, I remember it vividly as the intervention/witch hunt started on the night America’s Next Top Model Cycle 6 premiered on Living TV (lol).

    I know people feel the need to come out to their family and friends but personally I wasn’t bothered on the whole coming out to my parents thing, I just lived my life and ultimately people found out in their own way.

    Even though those years were quite hard and intense our family has never been stronger. My sister is a lesbian as well, so my mother has single handedly raised all her children gay.
  5. None that you're not ready for. If your friend knows and is saying they're supportive then their job is to do nothing until you're ready.
    Lander, Rhombus, Sam and 11 others like this.
  6. It's up to you to do what you feel comfortable doing and knowing when the right time is.
  7. I think it’s clunky but I doubt Ben Hunte meant that he feels that way when he wrote it. I think what he’s trying to say is that other people do feel this... which is true (and also fucking stupid on their part - I agree that it’s a viewpoint that reeks of privilege).

    The reason I don’t think Ben himself feels that way is because he’s a black gay man who is the BBC LGBT correspondent and fought the BBC to stay out when he was a correspondent for BBC Africa (they had suggested he go back into the closet at least online). He’s also talked about the abuse he received for doing things like reporting on LGBT history.
  8. The biggest laugh I got was from this gem:
    fff really? That's all people seem to be able to point out at times.
    Andrew.L likes this.
  9. I remember this story, your mom (and family) is so so iconic.

    Most times ‘being out” is something we need to to do in our heads first, from us to us. I wish I admited to myself I was gay way earlier than I did. Other times I feel I was protected coming out late.

    Everyone is different. Just make yourself happy and the others will follow suit.
    Lander, Sam, junglefish and 10 others like this.

  10. Babe: to my friends I came out very similar (bloody 14 years ago). Pulled on a night out, got caught and here I am. I don’t know anyone who spoke to their family first, when you feel comfortable you will, trust me.
    londonrain likes this.
  11. Teen Vas. Sam Fox + Sabrina + Bananarama + cute boy...

    Island and Vasilios like this.
  12. Stay true to yourself, some people are going to ask a lot of questions you don't know the answer yet or maybe react in a way you didn't expect, take your time and give them time to understand. My parents took it bad at the beginning but starting getting used to it and talking more about it with time, now they fully accept my partner and educated themselves.

    Remember that telling your truth to anyone is a gift you are giving, is not an obligation, if there's people you know are not going to take it well or people in your family you just don't like, don't feel obligated to tell them, ignore them and let them find out by other means, you don't have to listen to them.

    And my last advice is, you will never stop coming out. There's always a new friend, a new work environment, a new city. With time you will realize it's not that big of a deal and you will find confidence, but there's things that stick, I'm not gay and to this day is icky when someone calls me gay, not because I hate the word, but because I worked do hard to find out who I am that bothers me a little, we all had our fights and scars, become aware of what stings and work on it, there's a lot to unpack going further.

    I wish you the best, take care!
  13. I think I had a date last night?

    I met this Italian guy who just moved to the island and we walked along the sea eating ice cream and talking about everything and nothing.

    And we’re meeting again today to go to the beach and have dinner at a Korean restaurant.

    Nothing has happened and the sex-driven Scorpio in me is confusion, but whatever comes out of this seems nice.
  14. I told a couple of my closest friends before I told my Mum, and then told my siblings soon after. I didn't come out to one of my brothers though because I was afraid how he would take it so I got another brother to tell him for me. Just do whatever you're comfortable with.
    londonrain likes this.
  15. How many siblings do you have? I never came out to my brother, despite him knowing that only faguettes save up for Taylor Dayne cassettes or go see Bananarama live and despite him going 'sooo any news' whenever I visited back home (he was obv trying to make me tell him) but the main moment was when he spotted me on a Pride photo ten years ago and sent me the pic with thumbs up / hearts etc.
  16. Ok so, I might have a very stupid question here but whatever. Basically, has anybody ever tried to search for a place to stay in the "apps"? I've seen quite a few times bios on Tinder and Grindr having simply written "Searching for room" and similar stuff. I've always thought "oh lol the desperation" when I saw them but now that I'm in the same situation I might as well give it a try.

    *fast forward* I'm tied to the bed of a maniac.
  17. Maybe gays = mistake.

    MixmasterRemix and JMRGBY like this.
  18. You could find the perfect place but I'm not sure it's a great idea to mix living situations with sex apps.
  19. Are you in London? Here’s a great group for finding a place.
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