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However, nothing comes close to Aretha's wedding reception episode. Mariah in the car at the beginning is pure gold, then all the Brandy shade starts rolling in and I am on oxygen by that point.
Mariah's line about a duet with Christina always makes me laugh as well

'There's two things you don't work with in showbusiness, children and small animals so why would I wanna sing with a baby goat?'

"You wanna take the top note... but you couldn't take... a tampon... to the funeral of Etta James."


Crispy Business is THE BEST.

"You wanna take the top, but you couldn't take tampon. To the funeral of Etta James?"
"It weren't no damn tanning oil
You telling me back on Calvary Jesus shed his bronzer for my sins?
...extreme temperatures between your legs."

"Jessica Simpson still pregnant?"

And in the last one when Whitney is reading out the nominations.
"And the winner is... Beyonce! My girrrrrrrrl!"
I think the reason I love Whitney most is because the other characters are obviously gross exaggerations of their characters yet with the Whitney character I'd imagine that is exactly how she was.
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Whitney's leaked phonecall with Wendy Williams at the end of the Finale is incredible. It could have been lifted straight from Whitney's real interview with Wendy.


'The Uninvited' is the second best episode... endlessly quotable.

'But then you had garbage that got trashed'
The drag queen's reaction to the scalping
'Bathrooms are very spacious'
'You don't have to believe me, but believe me. When you run your mouth, Janet finishes the race'
'That weave was on the floor like it had a grudge against everybody'
'Since Janet went on NutriSystem, she's got strength like a crackhead'
'My father for now is Jesus Christ, he has never failed me yet'
'fricking deceased Chupacabre on your head'
Tamar Braxton.

I can't get over how spot on she gets the voice overs. Mariah's in particular is uncanny.

How comes nobody has mentioned the mass dragging of Mary J Blige during crispy chicken gate?
Or Aretha fucking Franklin singing the That's So Raven theme song.


Staff member
Crispy Business is FLAWLESS~~

What you need to be worried about is them damn thighs rubbing together.
Greaze up dem thighs, huzzy~
"I find it very inspirational how you're so determined to be a soprano."
All the vocal doors in your life must stay locked 'cause you never seem to have the right key.

And every episode is just that flawless.

EDIT: Oh my goddddd, I'm rewatching Rights, Wrongs, and Receipts and I'm absolutely dying.

"Speaking of your daughter, how is Periwinkle Plant?
"Miss Steel Magnolia?"
"Creole Cactus"
"She is a divine child. And her name is something I do own the rights to."
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There's nothing quite like it is there?

"Team Jesus, Team Soldiers For Christ" gets me every time. And when they mock Mariah and Beyoncé's baby names...oh Lord.

EDIT: "I'm gonna Extra! Extra! Read all about you".

EDIT2: "Hateretha" and "Hussy" are fantastic.
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MJB's flop insurance line gets me every time.

Also, Patti to Aretha "Doesn't surprise me that you're trying to crack jokes lookin like Luenell". Finished.
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Also can someone educate me as to why Diana Ross is seen as a joke? Is it her vocals/personality/appearance?

I'm too young~ for that kinda stuff.