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Post of Patti Appreciation

"That wig doesn't know what it wants to be in life. After all this time your hair is still un-American and I don't know why it's refusing citizenship."

"You got your hair done and you think you look cute but if I paid you to think, you'd still be broke."

"Meet Terms and Conditions - no one reads me!"

And let's end with one of the greatest reads of all time.

"Like Aretha's kitten heels, I understand pressure, I understand pain - I understand having more on you than you can bear in this life."
 
"Huzzy, please."

Talking about the celebrity naked selfie trend: "Bitch, upload a diploma. Upload a degree. Better yet, upload your Billboard stats!" (Extra funny because it's true).

"Gurl, please. Your fashions are about as fresh as a meth-whore at sunrise."

And Dionne's crowning moment (for me): "I have platinum, gold and silver records. What do you have on your wall? Velcro, cotton and dust?"
 
I realised that I have never watched this completely through (I have seen the first few episodes aswell as bits and pieces). Rectifying this now. I still lose it when Maya Angelou pops up out of nowhere in the first episode. Especially when Aretha interrupts her "Peace Is Hidden in the Heart of the Demon" poem.
--
Seems as though I will be reciting a different poem today entitled "Bitch Better Shut Her Mouth"
Bitch better shut her mouth
By the time I count to three
Or I will stick this knife
Into thee
If she doesn't shut the fuck up
She is dumber than I thought
More idiotic than a dalmatian without spots
Busta Rhymes mode
My gun is loaded
Aretha's ass is bloated
It's hot as hell
But she is scolded
Her sales sink
Instead of floated
We all gloated
Because her vocals folded
Her fat overloaded
She looks like a rodent
Now the big bitch is roasted
Because Maya Angelou is a true poet

SCREAM.
 
I realised that I have never watched this completely through (I have seen the first few episodes aswell as bits and pieces). Rectifying this now. I still lose it when Maya Angelou pops up out of nowhere in the first episode. Especially when Aretha interrupts her "Peace Is Hidden in the Heart of the Demon" poem.
--
Seems as though I will be reciting a different poem today entitled "Bitch Better Shut Her Mouth"
Bitch better shut her mouth
By the time I count to three
Or I will stick this knife
Into thee
If she doesn't shut the fuck up
She is dumber than I thought
More idiotic than a dalmatian without spots
Busta Rhymes mode
My gun is loaded
Aretha's ass is bloated
It's hot as hell
But she is scolded
Her sales sink
Instead of floated
We all gloated
Because her vocals folded
Her fat overloaded
She looks like a rodent
Now the big bitch is roasted
Because Maya Angelou is a true poet

SCREAM.

I love the ANTi era.
 

Mr.Arroz

Staff member
he/him/his
@Rhombus

tenor.gif
 

Mr.Arroz

Staff member
he/him/his
I think about this show far too much

It wasn't as funny as the ordinary episodes, but I don't think that was the point. What came through again and again was her was her desire to pay a final and fitting homage to these women, and to position the show as part a movement to re-establish their true and lasting relevance. And she did that with that unparalleled wit which synthesises linguistic flair with meticulously crafted personas.

Given that, going "back to the beginning" as a device was really great, even if it was to just underline how long these women have been in the game; how much they've persisted through (Patti's line about being there "back when black lives mattered even less than they do now" really got me); and just how real they are in all their fantastic and inspiring and messy ways (which so accurately reflects reality).

There was a real sense of 'all this has been done before, and better' you got (Chaka: "all these young girls thinking they're throwing shade; I planted and smoked those trees"). If you're looking at the scene right now, that's probably correct. It doesn't make the current crop of stars untalented or whatever; it just means that appreciating them should also come with a healthy regard for what has come before. And that regard can had with all the levity of some good shade.

I just think it's a stunning body of work. For it to go beyond just a show and to become a part of the culture and actively influence it (any time Patti slays, Aretha tries it, the Patti Pie; all the reaction that is generated is largely the show's legacy) is a testament to its brilliance. I definitely wouldn't have discovered and rediscovered so many of these women's music and legacies, nor have come to truly appreciate the fine art of shade, if it wasn't for the show, so all I can do is be thankful for its existence and bask in all its shady glory.

Frame this shit
 
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