Discussion in 'Pop & Justice' started by Sanctuary, Jun 21, 2015.
I really sat at my desk and cried for half an hour while listening to "More"
Awww, I want you to have a kid! Daddy Vasilios!
Dddd - I had it on repeat last night before I went to bed (it’s low key the only song on Manic I return to). Cue my shock when I saw the announcement this morning!
now wait a min
I kinda thought we'd moved past dated ideas that having a kid is a detriment to your career, especially in relation to women who are rich enough to have all the help in the world and will never struggle. It's weird.
Congratulations! I’m really happy for her, she deserves the best.
Was actually coming here to say this exact thing. I have endometriosis too and I know the struggle and heartache all too well, so to see her announcement is making me emotional. She's talked openly about wanting to be a mother and I couldn't be happier for her.
Since you’re referring to my reply, I’ll expand. It always makes me cringe a bit when a pop star in their prime gets pregnant out of nowhere, especially at a young age.
Why? I don’t know - I’m sorting that out. For myself, I suppose I view kids as a hindrance to my own personal goals. I have no desire to have them, or bring them into this world. I don’t understand why people want to procreate so bad. I also couldn’t imagine having one when I was 26 (I’m aware this isn’t even that young to have children, but it still feels very young to me, and I just turned 30). Then again, I’m not a rich celebrity.
I’m aware I project my own feelings about this subject onto popstars, which is weird, but again, I’m trying to better understand why I get this initial reaction. I remember feeling frustrated with Mutya once she had her kid and left Sugababes, everything went bad for Britney after she had hers, Alanis Morrissette’s music went to shit... So maybe those things have something to do with it? But then there are cases like Beyoncé and Madonna, in which motherhood seems to enhance their artistic output.
I don’t know - I’m just being transparent at my own expense. I’m not perfect by any means, and since she clearly wants a child, I’m happy for her. Again, I don’t really understand why she wants one so bad, but that’s never been my business dddd. I don’t think it will hurt her career. If the kid inspires songs like More, I’m all for it, really. More power to her!
If anything, the way you expanded upon this point makes it weirder, especially given Halsey's open struggles with endometriosis and miscarrying prior to her pregnancy announcement. This is her rainbow baby (her child after a miscarriage), and she's choosing to share this with her fanbase and the world beyond it—which she didn't have to do in the first place. This is a "damned if she does, damned if she doesn't" situation, because—regardless of when a pop star chooses to conceive—it will never be an "opportune" time, which is all the more reason for a star to have a child at any point in their career.
Cardi got pregnant in her "prime" and didn't lose her star power, nor did her pregnancy halt her ascent. If anything, she's more popular than ever post-pregnancy.
Beyond patriarchy's influence on people with uteri to procreate, some people's personal goals do involve having and raising children. Sufficient/disposable income also plays a major factor.
Correlating stan frustration with a fave having a child is... quite odd. There's something inherently misogynistic about this that I cannot articulate at the moment, but, when I find the words, best believe I'll have something more sufficient to say. Hmm.
It's cool to be transparent on this forum; that's how we all get to see the people beneath our avis and usernames. (Speaking of which, I'm incredibly proud of @Lila for taking the time to open up about their own struggles with endometriosis and conception.) However, there remains a fine line between self-transparency and projection of the self onto others' choices, which ultimately don't (or shouldn't) affect us as stans.
I feel the exact same way to be honest. As someone who also doesn't want children my initial reaction to baby announcements is often weird as well and I realize that's me projecting my own thoughts on children on other people, which is stupid, so I usually just try to say nothing.
To be real, I don't want kids either. Childbirth terrifies the fuck out of me for many reasons. However, I'm happy for the people who do wanna welcome children into this world and enter parenthood.
Yeah, I dunno. Like I said, I was just being open & expanding. I was fully expecting to be psychoanalyzed on here based on this one post, ddd. In being transparent, I already admitted to projecting.
Re: misogyny, I disagree completely. My favorite artists are female. Only females, aside from some trans men, can give birth to children. But I suppose if my faves were Hanson, who have had like 100 kids with each of their wives, I'd likely feel the same way.
I understand I think differently. To me, music is everything, so to me, the opportunity to write songs & create albums my whole life would be the greatest gift in the world. As someone who doesn't want kids, I just don't understand the appeal of interrupting that to be a parent. But then again, that's me projecting - I just wanted to provide background on my (admittedly unpopular, or flawed) thinking around my initial post.
In the end, it's a total outside-looking-in type thing for me. Everyone around me I know is having kids, or wants to have them. It's one of their personal goals - whether they're mom or dad. I've never understood that way of thinking. I wish I did. But like I said, in the end, I'm thrilled she's finally getting what she wants.
Good for her and she def mixed genes with her most attractive bf by far she’s no dummy kakskdndksksk
nn I was thinking that but you said it. Thank god it's not with G-Eazy or Yungblud
People here are weird...
Same for me too.. but it's actually because I feel like a weirdo for not wanting them. And I have struggled with this for over a decade. So when it seems like everyone either wants to be a parent or is becoming one I feel even more shut out. I also feel like people think I am worthless for it.. but yeah these are my deep issues.
I still felt happy for her upon seeing the post as I knew about her miscarriage and desire to be a mother.
Ah I’m happy for her! The photo announcement is gorgeous.
So happy for her. More is so special, and I never even realized the full weight of it until she announced her pregnancy. I've been a bit skeptical towards her historically but sitting with her album for a year and finally connecting with her narrative has me realizing what a gem she's blossomed into on the pop girl scene.
Experiment On Me and Nightmare are the songs that have been her most memorable and distinct moments for me so I'm very ready for the pop punk album.
Also it's okay to want kids and to not want kids dd go to therapy y'all.
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