Heartstopper

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Deleted member 31207

I’ve started reading the book and getting all emotional all over again. So I don’t send myself crazy I’m trying to be realistic about it otherwise my mental health will go into overdrive and I think if I was in high school now I still don’t think I’d find my Nick Nelson I think it’s a very rare thing for this to happen still and even though high school has come along way since I was their I don’t think really it’d be as accepting as Heartstopper shows.
 
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Deleted member 31207

I think it's important to remember, and even Alice has stressed this when talking about the web comic in the past, that the story is a very idealised/super optimistic story.
Definitely but if I don’t put some prospective on it after the rollercoaster of emotions I’ve been through with Heartstopper already I’m going cause myself mental health problems again and wishing I had a time machine, regretting my life and what I have achieved regardless of love or a pill to make myself younger but I don’t think that’s the answer or where my head should be.
 
Oh 100% agreed. Even if you remove the gay aspect, I have a tight knit group of girlfriends that are all straight and attractive and none of them had anything remotely as romantic/ideal happen to them in high school (or in life thus far). It does help lessen the devastation and mourning of an experience I never came close to to know that while this could have happened to me, it also has not happened to most people. It actually also adds a little extra sweetness to the rarity of what they experienced on the show.

In fact, the only part of the Charlie/Nick relationship that had any similarities to anything whatsoever that I experienced was the overanalyzing and anticipation of the texting as a confused/closeted teen. The difference being every time that was me it was either with someone in an entirely different state/country or many years older.
 
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Deleted member 31207

Oh 100% agreed. Even if you remove the gay aspect, I have a tight knit group of girlfriends that are all straight and attractive and none of them had anything remotely as romantic/ideal happen to them in high school (or in life thus far). It does help lessen the devastation and mourning of an experience I never came close to to know that while this could have happened to me, it also has not happened to most people. It actually also adds a little extra sweetness to the rarity of what they experienced on the show.

In fact, the only part of the Charlie/Nick relationship that had any similarities to anything whatsoever that I experienced was the overanalyzing and anticipation of the texting as a confused/closeted teen. The difference being every time that was me it was either with someone in an entirely different state/country or many years older.
I still over analysis texts and messages to this day at 32 to everyone friends, family everyone who I ever message hehe. I know of one girl in my school year who did meet the love of her life in high school a guy who was some of my classes but still I don’t think they where as romantic as Charlie and Nick
 
Just finished the series and my god those last 10 to 15 minutes of the last episode have left me an absolute mess. It's a weird mix of happiness sadnesss just a total mix of emotions I can't explain well enough now. Gonna need a few days to process all that. Kit Connor also extremely talented young actor. Just those scenes when he gets emotional or confused he had me crying in seconds.
 
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I have no idea if that is good?
(But rude that it's not number 1)

I did some digging and comparatively, Netflix renewed Never Have I Ever for a second season on July 1st, 2020. The show came out April 27th, 2020. They revealed at their Q2 Shareholders meeting the series, as of that July 1st date, had been watched 40M hours in its first 4 weeks.

Heartstopper has done that in a little over 10 days.
 
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Just Nick grown up with a beard...

FR3Ht9eUUAENiAj
 
Still trying to process how I feel after finishing this but just wanted to put something down so hoping it would help. I think my main takeaway now even though while watching it everything was so cute is now just sadness. I can't help but think what kind of person I'd be now if I ever met someone as caring as Nick when I was younger. As a 32 year old man now I still see a lot of myself in Charlie and that's with never had any form of a partner. The constant apologizing the worry that just existing is annoying friends and family just how different would I be as a person if I felt something that sweet and genuine when younger. Then also you get lost in this beautiful little love story then you come back to gay dating in reality and what do you have but Grindr ghosting and dirty pics. It's bad I'm sad
 

Mvnl

Staff member
I notice myself getting a bit annoyed by the 'it's just not realistic' responses (mostly on Reddit though, this isn't about any posts on here and also 100% about me and not about anyone saying anything unreasonable) because I KNOW, and though when it comes to music nostalgia I can be very much stuck in the late 90s/early 00s it's not like I ever really dwell on the past like 'if only this and that had been different when I was 15...'. I still learn things (mainly when it comes to taking myself seriously and healthy boundaries) that I wish I'd learned earlier but it's hardly in a 'well that's 40 years wasted' way. And I see tons of things on tv that I never got to experience or never will. And it's not like I end up sobbing for days because I'll never get to ride a magic carpet or meet the teenage version of my parents. I guess the frustration stems from knowing this show is very much a fantasy and yet being so upset over it? (In a way I guess it does show what I expected love to be like when I was that age? I mean I was an avid Ally McBeal fan and one of the few who did not find her annoying or delusional at all)
Sorry for yet another rant without much of a point, still figuring out what the heck is wrong with me.
I guess there might also be something related to the fact how pure and vulnerable these boys allow themselves to be and it actually ending up well (instead of just attracting assholes who exploit that vulnerability)?
 
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Deleted member 10466

For anyone really looking to torture themselves after rewatching, I stupidly listened to the ballad version of ‘Secret Love Song’ after.
 

Mvnl

Staff member
I just came out of an hour and a half long conversation with my 'coach' about it and well, that was useless.. The main response I got was things like 'try to not sit inside crying all day' (well, duuuh) and 'we all have things in the past that weren't great' (true, but do we all get upset about them for days.. should I just not think about them?)
I almost miss the days where I wasn't selfaware enough to know 'going out and making out with a random guy' or 'getting drunk' don't solve anything because while I know that now I'm still not sure how healthy coping with difficult emotions works? Do I just need to keep distracting myself? Or is it something deeper and do I need a therapist who offers a little more insight than 'eat and sleep well and don't worry too much' or is this it? Who knows?

Found it interesting but not overly surprising that I pretty much talked to her with a straight face for over an hour and it wasn't till she wondered what show this was and I showed her the trailer that I was in tears in mere seconds again. Damn you, Nick & Charlie.

(One conclusion I came to myself is while I was in love with my 'Nick' it was both the pain of being in love but just as much how I really could have used a friend to share things with, who'd have told me I'm okay/I'd be okay, and instead I got the fear of telling my best friend how I felt because I'd risk losing him completely)
 
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D

Deleted member 31207

Still trying to process how I feel after finishing this but just wanted to put something down so hoping it would help. I think my main takeaway now even though while watching it everything was so cute is now just sadness. I can't help but think what kind of person I'd be now if I ever met someone as caring as Nick when I was younger. As a 32 year old man now I still see a lot of myself in Charlie and that's with never had any form of a partner. The constant apologizing the worry that just existing is annoying friends and family just how different would I be as a person if I felt something that sweet and genuine when younger. Then also you get lost in this beautiful little love story then you come back to gay dating in reality and what do you have but Grindr ghosting and dirty pics. It's bad I'm sad

wow I read this post like it was my own thoughts. I feel totally the same as you and I’m also 32 and never had a partner. I don’t even think i would recognise when a guy is being nice and flirting with me at 32 as I’m not used to it. I was trying to think back other day to the past when guys like Nick who you think are straight have been nice and looked after me and was it just friendly or something more? A few I know are married with kids now so probs straight to answer my own question
 
I just came out of an hour and a half long conversation with my 'coach' about it and well, that was useless.. The main response I got was things like 'try to not sit inside crying all day' (well, duuuh) and 'we all have things in the past that weren't great' (true, but do we all get upset about them for days.. should I just not think about them?)
I almost miss the days where I wasn't selfaware enough to know 'going out and making out with a random guy' or 'getting drunk' don't solve anything because while I know that now I'm still not sure how healthy coping with difficult emotions works? Do I just need to keep distracting myself? Or is it something deeper and do I need a therapist who offers a little more insight than 'eat and sleep well and don't worry too much' or is this it? Who knows?

Found it interesting but not overly surprising that I pretty much talked to her with a straight face for over an hour and it wasn't till she wondered what show this was and I showed her the trailer that I was in tears in mere seconds again. Damn you, Nick & Charlie.

(One conclusion I came to myself is while I was in love with my 'Nick' it was both the pain of being in love but just as much how I really could have used a friend to share things with, who'd have told me I'm okay/I'd be okay, and instead I got the fear of telling my best friend how I felt because I'd risk losing him completely)

Is it worth looking into whether there are any gay therapists available? Maybe she just can’t relate (which you would expect is a pre-requisite for any therapist/coach/mentor).
 

Mvnl

Staff member
wow I read this post like it was my own thoughts. I feel totally the same as you and I’m also 32 and never had a partner. I don’t even think i would recognise when a guy is being nice and flirting with me at 32 as I’m not used to it. I was trying to think back other day to the past when guys like Nick who you think are straight have been nice and looked after me and was it just friendly or something more? A few I know are married with kids now so probs straight to answer my own question

I'm the opposite where I mistake a guy just being decent and kind to me for being interested in me because I'm so not used to men being like that without an agenda. Not sure that's much better.
(Which says a bit about my idea of men but also about me so not being used to someone being kind to me because they might just.. like me as a person??)
 
D

Deleted member 31207

I just came out of an hour and a half long conversation with my 'coach' about it and well, that was useless.. The main response I got was things like 'try to not sit inside crying all day' (well, duuuh) and 'we all have things in the past that weren't great' (true, but do we all get upset about them for days.. should I just not think about them?)
I almost miss the days where I wasn't selfaware enough to know 'going out and making out with a random guy' or 'getting drunk' don't solve anything because while I know that now I'm still not sure how healthy coping with difficult emotions works? Do I just need to keep distracting myself? Or is it something deeper and do I need a therapist who offers a little more insight than 'eat and sleep well and don't worry too much' or is this it? Who knows?

Found it interesting but not overly surprising that I pretty much talked to her with a straight face for over an hour and it wasn't till she wondered what show this was and I showed her the trailer that I was in tears in mere seconds again. Damn you, Nick & Charlie.

(One conclusion I came to myself is while I was in love with my 'Nick' it was both the pain of being in love but just as much how I really could have used a friend to share things with, who'd have told me I'm okay/I'd be okay, and instead I got the fear of telling my best friend how I felt because I'd risk losing him completely)
I’m sorry your therapy sessions didn’t go how you wanted. If it’s any consolation this thread is helping as the therapy as most people seem to feel the same as me.
 
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