Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? | Page 10 | The Popjustice Forum

Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by VivaForever, Feb 18, 2019.

  1. 80. Whatcha Doin' to Me - 5.78
    Extras (Real-era demo, 1993)

    Highest score: 8.6 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 2 (@unnameable)​

    Whatcha Doin' to Me (or Watcha Doin' to Me, to use the spelling on the original release) was the other as-of-then previously unreleased B-side to Love in the Key of C. Like Don't Cry, it was written by Belinda, Charlotte, and Tom.

    @unnameable (2) calls it "lacklustre," while @Seventeen Days (5.5) exclusively reveals, "I’m not crazy about this one - the little bongo-heavy intro just doesn’t fit into the rest of it. But it gets a little better once the guitars kick in." Maybe that's what @pop3blow2 (8.6) picked up on too: "Production is a little messy, but I think I like where this was trying to go. It’s different."

    "Her voice is sounding good here," reflects @Hudweiser (7), while @CasperFan (6.5) calls it "not bad, better than some tracks on Real." Talk about a low bar to clear. But @bonnieetclyde (8) says the same: "Strong enough to have made the album should have replaced some of the weaker tracks on that record (Wrap My Arms, Windows of the World)." Wrap My Arms is the second-best song on Real theaux. (Again, low bar.)

  2. No one except the A*Teens and Sixpence None the Richer, perhaps.

    The S Club and Steps versions aren't half-bad either.
  3. Okay, don't get me wrong, but...

    Here I go.

    The A*Teens girls sound absolutely tuneless and awful on their cover version. Not even the computer could save that one. I mean... It did its best, but neither Sara nor Marie sound like themselves.

    Sixpence None The Richer actually did something different, so I guess you're right there.

    S Club 7 sound completely drowned out and you could even say you hear some session singers singing together with Jo on top and I wouldn't say you were lying.

    I do have to give it to you that Steps have done it justice, but... Yeah, still left unimpressed.

    Hudweiser and VivaForever like this.
  4. 79. I See No Ships - 5.81
    Extras (A Woman and a Man B-side, 1996)

    Highest score: 9 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 2 (@Cundy)​

    One of the B-sides to In Too Deep, I See No Ships was written by John Butler. I've never heard of him, so let's take a look at his Discogs bio. "John Butler is an Australian musician who was born on the 1st of April 1975. Butler is outspoken with his political beliefs, often making political statements advocating peace, environmental protection, and worldwide love and respect at his performances." Ohhh, he's a hippie!

    "Not much to say about this - average!" declares @CasperFan (5). I have no memory of this song but gave it a 5 as well, so I'm going to assume they're right. @pop3blow2 (9) explains ha high score: "I’m a sucker for this kinda of 60’s throwback production & beat."

    @bonnieetclyde (8), meanwhile, proclaims it a "great B-side. Probably could have made the album, replacing some of the weaker songs. Feels more like classic Belinda." @Seventeen Days (7) echoes, "Not this b-side having more energy than a good chunk of the A Woman and a Man album." What's that I was saying about low bars to clear? "This feels like earlier Belinda, and it’s pretty good."

    Finally, @unnameable (5) asks, "Is this song referencing Admiral Nelson before Trafalgar? Queen of historical references." My, my, at Trafalgar, Villeneuve did surrender.

    Tomorrow: an album loses its first track.
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
  5. Awww, I kinda love A Woman and a Man.
    VivaForever likes this.
  6. Ddd.
    Remorque likes this.
  7. The Belinda rate is not a rate on PJ where I expected to be the high scorer on so many songs. It's kinda random & fun. Maybe it'll even out some once some album tracks start leaving.

    Phonetics Girl likes this.
  8. You're the highest scorer for all but two of the albums, as well as overall.
    pop3blow2 and Phonetics Girl like this.
  9. Scream!! My supposed faves Mandy & Vanessa are reviewing their rate scores, & they are shook! (Sorry ladies, Belegenda must've struck a chord, at this particular moment in time.)
    VivaForever likes this.
  10. [​IMG]
    pop3blow2 likes this.
  11. The Belinda rate is not one where I'd expect to be the low scorer this often, but the extreme stanning will have to wait for the top 30.
    pop3blow2 likes this.
  12. It's a good track. That album was all over the place. She did say in an interview last year, when asked, that she basically 'phoned that album in'.
    VivaForever likes this.
  13. I think this qualifies...

    78. Submission - 5.85
    Extras (Come Again, 1997)

    Highest score: 9.25 (@Seventeen Days)
    Lowest score: 2 (@Cundy)​

    Empty out that bottle again as I've literally just now learned this is a Sex Pistols cover from a special-event type album called Come Again, later rebranded as "Essential Interpretations: Today's Great Artists Perform Yesterday's Classics." Generous of them to describe Belinda as "today" in 1998, frankly. Submission was actually a collaboration with an electronic rock band called Radiator. Don't know her. It eventually ended up on Edsel's box set The Anthology, and subsequently on their A Woman and a Man reissue.

    "Punk Belinda sounds like she’s auditioning for The Prodigy," @unnameable (8) deadpans.

    "What’s going on here?" @pop3blow2 (7.3) demands. "I thought YouTube was playing the wrong song for a second. E for effort, but not sure this is working."

    Let's do another shot in @CasperFan's (3.5) honor: "More Go-Go’s than Belinda!"

    @bonnieetclyde (8) likes the song more than most of us, saying, "Wow, guitars and a faster BPM I've ever heard on a Belinda track. Her vocals work perfectly on this. Can't see her ever doing something like this again so it's nice to hear this change in style from her."

    And finally, high scorer @Seventeen Days (9.25): "Oh hell yes, now THIS is one I immediately took a shine to. Feel those punk oats a bitsy, sis!"

  14. I really like the style, it's very different for her but her voice works really well on it.
  15. dddddddddddddd.

    77. My Heart Goes Out to You - 5.89
    A Woman and a Man

    Highest score: 9.1 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 4 (me)​

    I don't regret that 4. This song is boring as hell.

    It was written by Rick Nowels (of Rick Nowels fame), Anders Bagge (of songs by Gina G, Samantha Mumba, Girls Aloud, Reignchel Stevens, early Robyn, Play, Her Out of Aqua, Janet, Delta, Madonna, and Slayline Dion fame), and Allan Rich (of Whitney's "Run to You" and a bunch of fucking Barry Manilow songs fame). It was also recorded in 1997 by a Dutch singer called Erikah Karst. As ever, I don't know her.

    @bonnieetclyde (6) seems to be referring to that interview they mentioned above, saying, "Another track which feels a little 'phoned-in'. I don't feel any real connection from her to the track." @CasperFan (4.5) similarly calls it "forgettable - although I love the album, can never remember how this one goes, it’s just a bit dull."

    "...and we’re back to a closing ballad," observes @Seventeen Days (5), "but it’s not really on the level of the other ballad closers she’s done." And if you're not on the level of the distinctly average Love Never Dies, that's a problem.

    Meanwhile, @unnameable (8) deems it "a pleasant little ballad," while @pop3blow2 (9.1) lauds Belinda's "very pretty restrained vocal. Very 'standards' sounding in a good way."

    Up next, the Woman and a Man era gets a reprieve.
  16. I just adore her vocal in 'My Heart Goes Out To You'. It's quite possible I overscored a song here & there simply because her voice adds a whole point or two to songs a lesser singer couldn't save at all. This wasn't one of those time to me, though. I actually love this whole song.

    Also: "No infringement intended... for a friend." (oh, YouTube)
    VivaForever likes this.
  17. My favorite is always "No copyright intended."
  18. Annnnnd it's back to our other favorite punching bag:

    76. From the Heart - 5.92

    Highest score: 9 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 2 (@Hatbar)​

    This one was written by Charlotte and Tom but not anyone else. I have no recollection of it but gave it a 5, which at least is a point more than I gave I Never Wanted a Rich Man.

    @Hatbar's (2) commentary actually made me snicker out loud: "What a plodding plodathon. Bel’s voice gets on my nerves here and she sounds like she just can’t be arsed – and what’s more I don’t blame her." @CasperFan (5) uses the same word: "The intro reminds me of La Luna so when she starts singing it’s already a disappointment! This just plods along without much tune."

    In the more moderate department, we have @Remorque (6): "It flows along very nicely and she sounds fantastic, but that's about it really, innit. Though I do have to say that I love her going full psycho for a hot second at the end there." @Seventeen Days (5) agrees, "Honestly, this is one of those tracks where it’s not bad, but I don’t love it. If I’m listening to the album I’ll let it play, but if I’m shuffling all of Belinda’s tracks, I’ll usually skip it." @unnameable (8) damns by faint praise: "The chorus is the best part of this."

    Ever the contrarian, @pop3blow2 (9) insists, "Tune, for real."

  19. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that.

    WhipperSnapper and VivaForever like this.
  20. "Love sounds better in French."
    Diana Vickers, 2013

    75. I Still Love Him - 6.08
    Extras (Voilà, 2007)

    Highest score: 10 (@unnameable)
    Lowest score: 2 (@Hatbar)​

    This made it further than I expected tibb. I would talk here about what Belinda wrote in her memoir about the Voilà album, but ... she didn't actually write much. She does say that it was the first album she ever made sober. Now that I think about it, junkie Belinda gave us all her good albums, while sober Belinda gave us Voilà and Wilder Shores... maybe cocaine's not so bad after all!

    I kid, I kid.

    Anyway, Belinda also says that it was the album she was "ready" to make at the time. Cheryl Tweedy might disagree. Aside from that, she ... doesn't actually talk much about why the hell she made it, other than that she liked the songs (duh). One imagines that having lived in France for several years had something to do with it, but Mama could've given us Mylène Farmer and Zazie covers, or at least France fucking Gall, and instead we got goddamned Gainsbourg and Piaf and Brel. (I am, as you may gather, not a fan of Gainsbourg or Piaf or Brel.)

    I Still Love Him is the English version of Pourtant tu m'aimes by Françoise Hardy, but while Françoise's version is by far the most famous, the English actually came first. I Still Love Him was recorded in 1964 by short-lived girl group The Joys on Valiant Records, which Discogs describes as having released "a string of obscure white pop titles," which made me cackle. Later that year, Françoise wrote and recorded a francophone version that, like many English-to-French "translations," bears little resemblance to the original lyric - the French is a straightforward and simplistic love song, while the English is about a boyfriend who's left the narrator for another girl. Taylor Swift found shaking.

    Christ, that was a lot of information about a song and album I barely even care about. I need a drink.

    Despite giving it a 10, @unnameable can't even be bothered to evaluate the version at hand, saying, "The French version of this is my favourite song from Voila." I'm literally laughing at my desk right now because holy shit, here was me thinking "better than some of the songs on Real" was a low bar to clear. Indeed, @CasperFan (5) calls it "the only acceptable Voila track! Still not great though." So true, so goddamn true.

    "Well, what do we have here," @pop3blow2 (9.5) crows. "This is new to me. It’s kinda quirky, but also rocks a bit. I’m liking this a lot, actually." I am... not surprised.

    "The guitar on this is just a bit too saturated, and it kind of distorts the sound a little (or maybe it’s just this potato-quality video I found on Youtube). Either way it’s not bad." @Seventeen Days (7) giving me "tourist in the French countryside near Belinda's estate, evaluating a glass of wine from the local vineyard." Though potatoes make vodka, not wine. Hmm. Belinda's conquered French and Punjabi - maybe she should do an album in Russian next. Sophie Ellis-Bextor ha impact.

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