Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? | Page 12 | The Popjustice Forum

Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by VivaForever, Feb 18, 2019.

  1. Both bloody awful,especially I Feel The Magic-ugh!
  2. But actually... actually... actually... ACTUALLY... our first single to leave is:

    71. Love Never Dies - 6.27
    Heaven on Earth

    Highest score: 9.5 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 1 (@Cundy)​

    And good riddance, I say. I gave it a 5, but the way I rate (as of now), I'll never miss anything I rate lower than a 6. It's dreadfully boring. Written by the Caffeys and Rick Nowels and produced by Rick, Love Never Dies was - randomly - the album's final single in the UK.

    You'll notice I'm omitting the "..." from the end of the title because I fucking hate unnecessary ellipses in song titles, and this is possibly the most unnecessary ellipsis of all. When will Britney?

    "Brings the album to a limp drawn out close but it’s still better than any of the ‘Belinda’ ballads," @Hatbar (4) observes. Well said. It is frustrating to go from the stellar run of I Get Weak - We Can Change - Fool for Love - Nobody Owns Me to end one of the most iconic albums of its time on this note.

    "Fifth single for Europe WHY?" @Hudweiser (5) demands, and I'm right there with him. Fool for Love would have made way more sense. "Sweet enough but a little dull and certainly shouldn’t have been a single over some of the other brilliant songs on the album," adds @CasperFan (6), who is of course right.

    "Probably the weakest track on the album for me," says @bonnieetclyde (7). "I just feel it could have been sung by anyone with a half-decent voice. There isn't anything distinctly 'Belinda' about it." Good point - Belinda's timbre isn't very noticeable on this one. The only Belinda thing about it is the vibrato, which is actually more pronounced than usual, and not as rough, for lack of a better term.

    On the other hand, @unnameable (7) calls it a "reasonable ballad to close this era." "Total 60s California vibes on this one," says @Seventeen Days (7). "Nothing like a lush ballad to close an album out." That is debatable. Meanwhile, @pop3blow2 (9.5) says, "Perfect great album closer," and I'm sorry, sis, but I have to laugh.

    Speaking of laughing, I had to leave it to @Untitled (8.5) to play us out: "Well fuck, this is bloated and she sounds like a beast being slaughtered, but somehow I'm getting my life?"

  3. The things you learn in a rate! Like, 'people don't like this song by _____! Wut?' Or maybe my taste is suspect. Who knows?

    I guess I just always enjoyed this song as the album closer. My score was probably too high, but I don't think I'd ever go below a 9. Oh well, I'll wait for my dragging for the next song I'm high scorer on... I'm sure they're coming!
    Phonetics Girl likes this.
  4. 70. He Goes On - 6.36
    A Woman and a Man

    Highest score: 8.7 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 4 (@unnameable)​

    He Goes On was written by Neil Finn, brother of Tim Finn of "Stuff and Nonsense" infamy, and a member of both Split Enz and Crowded House. Yeah, that's all I got.

    @bonnieetclyde (6) giving me déjà vu (or déjà lu): "This just sounds like Belinda singing a song, there's really no feeling or emotional connection to the material."

    "What’s the betting this gets an early elimination for being filler?" asks @unnameable (4). Hey, our first mention of filler - take a shot, girls!

    "This is pretty," says @pop3blow2 (8.7), because apparently even our high scorer can't muster up more than that.

    "Belinda should do more songs with Neil Finn," says @Seventeen Days (6.5). If you say so.

    Finally, @CasperFan (8.5) gives the song some love: "Another song that could’ve been a single. An album highlight - great chorus." Again I say: if you say so.
  5. "1 minute ago"
    pop3blow2 likes this.
  6. Wha? I feel like I underscored Love Never Dies now, but my average for Heaven on Earth was already higher than what I gave to 1989 in the Taylor Rate and I tried to limit my stanning. A mistake, apparently. At least I was prepared for Change going far too soon...
    VivaForever likes this.
  7. We stan a stan.
    Phonetics Girl likes this.
  8. This rate is telling me I should probably get my resume together to be on Belinda's PR team.

    Heaven help us if there is ever a Cathy Dennis or Susanna Hoffs rate, because if I gave Belinda these high of marks... there would be like nothing below an 8 in those rates.

    Suddenly the @Music Is Life is me!

  9. Huh. Now there's an idea. *considers*
    unnameable, pop3blow2 and tylerc904 like this.
  10. I have to confess, I didn't listen to youtube for "In my wildest dreams" but instead inserted my DVD of "Mannequin" into the player.
  11. I admittedly haven't returned to "Love Never Dies" voluntarily since I finished my listens for the rate. But I did kind of like the vibe Belinda was going for there. I actually gave it a lower score initially, but then I upped it as a balance to the dreck that bloated some of the other albums.

    I'm looking at you, A Woman and A Man
    Phonetics Girl and VivaForever like this.
  12. It's a bit dull really isn't it. Why it was released as a single I have no idea.
  13. Love Never Dies entered the chart w/e 10/12/88 in the UK maybe there was some vain hope of a Christmas smash?

    In reality it was a #54 smash.

  14. There were better songs on the album... Oh well.
  15. Good riddance to Love never dies, a right bore after such a belter of an album. He goes on is a cute tune but is a bit pointless and you can imagine Bel not having a clue that she ever recorded it.
  16. Love Never Dies is utter shit. It shouldn't have made the album, never mind being a single.

    He Goes On, meanwhile, is rather lovely. The melody to the chorus is very Crowded House (obviously), and it's absolutely a grower. I'm not devastated at its exit though.
  17. Ba-de-ya, say, do you remember
    Ba-de-ya, dancing in September?
    Earth, Wind & Fire, 1978

    69. Remember September - 6.37
    A Woman and a Man

    Highest score: 10 (@Untitled)
    Lowest score: 2 (@Cundy)​

    This one was written by Rick Nowels and Ellen Shipley, but Heaven/Circle/Light/Horses it ain't. I mean, it's not horrible - I gave it a 6 - but what I mainly remember of it is Belinda fucking moaning "remeeeember Septeeeeeember" at the start of the chorus. Not really very catchy, is it, Eddy?

    The album version wasn't a single, but dance mixes were issued as a single in the UK, for some reason. These remixes were done by Jan Peter Odendahl, Michael Urgacz (a.k.a. Beam), and Tobias Beckhoff, none of whom I've ever heard of, and they aren't very, mm, inspirational. Ian Masterson, where art thou?!

    "Nice piano and backing vocals but a little dreary," @Hudweiser (6) observes. Right next to him on my spreadsheet, @bonnieetclyde (6.5) says, "A little dreary for me, though some of the instrumentation here is nice." Meanwhile, @unnameable (4) remarks, "Shame this doesn't really go anywhere," which made me chuckle.

    "This is fine, but basically a way weaker retread of Circle In The Sand," says @pop3blow2 (7.8). Now, I am not exactly a fan of Circle in the Sand, but as implied above, I'm not about to stand for this being compared to it. @Seventeen Days (6.5) "like(s) a good mid-tempo ballad, and this definitely checks that mark. This is pretty."

    @tylerc904 (7.5) calls it "A lovely counterpart to Summer Rain and La Luna. She (and I) loves her evocative bops!" Now, what we're not going to do is suggest in any way, shape, or form that this can stand next to Summer Rain or La Luna. @Untitled has nothing to say for herself, so we'll close with @CasperFan (7.5): "A lovely wistful intro, gorgeous vocals, understated chorus, quite lovely - the less said about the remixes the better though!"

    Not sure which is funnier: someone saying it's "from the album Emotions" or someone else calling the JPO mix "AMAZING."
  18. I don't hear any of it in that remix?? What even?
  19. Time for our first tie.

    67. Love Walks In - 6.42
    Extras (A Woman and a Man B-side, 1996)

    Highest score: 8.4 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 4 (@unnameable)​

    Lucy Jordan's fellow Japan bonus track and Always Breaking My Heart B-side, Love Walks In was written by the Caffey siblings. That's what I got for ya.

    @CasperFan (4.5) calls it "definitely B-Side material," and @unnameable (4) dryly observes, "the album wasn’t missing anything by not including this." I love a bit of litotes in the morning.

    On the other hand, @bonnieetclyde (8) thinks it's a "great instrumental with strong vocals, particularly that chorus." And let's close with the good sis @pop3blow2 (8.4), who deems it "a sunny upbeat track, so of course it was relegated to a b-side. Were these recorded after the album was already done and released? Because they could have really made it a marked improvement." That's certainly one opinion.

  20. Remember September deserved so much more.
    Phonetics Girl likes this.
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