Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? | Page 13 | The Popjustice Forum

Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by VivaForever, Feb 18, 2019.

  1. God I hate Remember September. Clearly the nadir of A Woman and a Man and oddly placed near the front of the album. Following it up with the equally pedestrian Listen To Love (I mean, even the title sounds like a Debbie Gibson album track) means you at least get the shit out of the way early doors I suppose.
  2. And it feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels like...

    67. Jealous Guy - 6.42
    Extras (A Woman and a Man B-side)

    Highest score: 10 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 2 (@CasperFan)​

    Here we have a song by John Lennon, an overrated motherfucker who abused his wife, which every goddamned boomer-age hippie and would-be hippie conveniently forgets or excuses. Also, Imagine is an absolutely shittastic song and I never ever want to hear it again. (See also: Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah.)

    Anyway. The AWAAM era loses its fourth consecutive track and its last remaining extra (unless we count I Won't Say). Poor dat. Jealous Guy was, with I See No Ships, one of the In Too Deep B-sides and, with Lucy Jordan, one of the two songs added to the DTS edition of the album, replacing Always Breaking My Heart, Listen to Love, and Love Doesn't Live Here, ALL OF WHICH ARE BETTER THAN THIS.

    "Beatles and Beatle-affiliated songs are always better sung by someone other than the Beatles," opines @Hudweiser (6.5). @unnameable (9) might not agree, calling Belinda's rendition "as good as Lennon, far superior to Ferry." Meanwhile, @Seventeen Days (5) is "not exactly the biggest Beatles fan, nor of John Lennon’s solo work. So I don’t have any strong feelings on the original version of this, but Belinda’s cover is more or less pretty harmless."

    @CasperFan (2) is unimpressed, cover or otherwise: "Always hated this song and it’s only marginally better with Belinda singing it!" I like to imagine him saying this while smashing a glass against the bar wall.

    On the other hand, @bonnieetclyde (9) thinks it "should have made the album. I loved this as much as In Too Deep when the single was released and this was one of the B-sides." As much as In Too Deep. As much as In Too Deep.

    I need a minute.

    *breathes into a paper bag*

    Ookay. We'll finish off with @pop3blow2 (10), who exclaims, "My GAWD… how had I never heard this. Wow, her voice is perfect for this song. I love the narrator switch of a woman singing this, too. Just a wonderful discovery."

    Guess what? Another single goes next! Please, speculate.
  3. Shriek. I like Listen to Love - I think it's cute - but when you're right, you're right.
    Deleted member 30181 likes this.
  4. @Cundy makes it sound like there's something wrong with Debbie's album tracks
    (I do have the massive collection that Debbie released the other year, but trying to run that rate would take months)
    Deleted member 30181 likes this.
  5. Yay i'm the lowest scorer-his song is just shite-I hate anything Beatles related and i'm with you on Imagine a song i never want to hear again along with Bohemian Crapsody
    VivaForever likes this.
  6. Honestly, the only one of Belinda's covers that I continue to use is "Bless the Beasts and the Children". The rest can go... away.
    CasperFan likes this.
  7. Oh don't get me wrong, I love Debbie and was gifted said boxset for Christmas the other year! But some of her songs had really shit titles, often involving the word "love":

    Wake Up To Love
    Shake Your Love
    Love In Disguise
    Helplessly In Love
    Listen To Love

    Spot the odd one out.
  8. Shit, was John Lennon a wife abuser, too!?! I either legit didn't know that or read it when I was younger & forgot.

    I'm fairly knowledgable about the Beatles' music, but admittedly don't know much about them personally. As a group they are hit & miss for me, but I actually really enjoy a lot of John Lennon's solo stuff. Well, I thought I did, now I have to reassess him, too.

    I do like this song & her version, but now...
  9. Jealous Guy is wank in any guise.
    CasperFan likes this.
  10. Yeah...


    It's sad, because I do like some Beatles songs.
    CasperFan likes this.
  12. Too harsh. Jealous Guy was a really good cover.
  13. Okay, or don't.

    66. Love in the Key of C - 6.49
    A Woman and a Man

    Highest score: 10 (@Remorque)
    Lowest score: 4 x 2 (@Untitled, @Cundy)​

    We wrap up our massive A Woman and a Man cull with this Nowels-penned single. It's pleasant but totally unremarkable in my view - it sounds like something that belongs as background music in a movie, not as an actual single. Nevertheless, it somehow managed to hit #20 in the UK - a significant drop from In Too Deep at #6 and Always Breaking My Heart at #8, but still, top 20 is nothing to sneeze at. Ask Bananarama. Or Lisa Scott-Lee.

    Lots of commentary here agreeing with me, because I guess you lot do have taste sometimes. "I'm not sure why this was chosen as a single," says @bonnieetclyde (6). "I don't feel it's a great song or really showcases Belinda's vocals all that well." Right on both counts! @CasperFan (6.5) "was surprised when this was released as the 3rd single over so many obvious single choices. I do quite like it, it’s very sultry but it really doesn’t have much of a chorus- how this charted better than most of the Runaway Horses singles is a pop injustice!" Hear hear.

    "Yeah, it has nice lounge appeal, but how did it do so (comparably) well? Her third singles normally end up #42." @Hudweiser (7) speaking truth to power. @Seventeen Days (5) doesn't even acknowledge its single status: "Poor Belinda, this album has more filler than it should. I do like the jazzy vibe of this, though."

    "This could work well on Strictly (or Dancing with the Stars for our American voters) as a rumba, with its slow sultry beat," opines @unnameable (9). Not exactly wrong, but doesn't DWTS usually go for actually well-known songs for its dances? Finally, @pop3blow2 (8.9) calls it "nice. The production is maybe a tad cheesy in places, but it mainly makes me smile. I feel like I’ve heard this before, but maybe it just reminds of something else." Every generic slow background song in a movie, perhaps?

    Next... two albums lose their first tracks.
  14. Many candidates from Real, but I'm going to guess it's Emotional Highway or Love Revolution for the other album.
    VivaForever likes this.
  15. Finally! And Emotional Highway is top 3 on Live Your Life don't @ me.
  16. Ddddd it's my lowest rated on that album (a 6, but still).
    Phonetics Girl and VivaForever like this.
  17. 65. Emotional Highway - 6.53
    Live Your Life Be Free

    Highest score: 8.5 x 2 (@Untitled, @bonnieetclyde)
    Lowest score: 3 (@Cundy)​

    Another Nowels/Shipley composition, Emotional Highway reminds me a bit of Circle in the Sand in the chorus, but otherwise doesn't bear much resemblance to their other work with Belinda. I don't mind it, but I agree with Hud that it's the worst on the album - a 5 in a sea of 8's and 9's and 10's. Lyrically, it's about as far as you can get from Circle in the Sand's "never-ending love is what we've found" - it's narrated by a woman driving out to determine whether her man is cheating on her. A reverse I Drove All Night expedition.

    @Hudweiser (6) again calls it the "lowest point of the LYLBF album, which isn’t so low at all. Drags on a bit like driving all night and day through the pouring rain." @CasperFan (6) thinks it's "a bit dull really - I can never remember how it goes until I hear it. Pleasant enough but no real hook in the chorus and just chugs along."

    @unnameable (5) notes, "The lyrics remind of sleepless nights spent worrying, but the melody lets it down a little." I promise I didn't see @Seventeen Days' (7.5) commentary before writing the above: "That guitar and the melody/beat is giving me 'Circle in the Sand but make it dance' vibes. The weird little chirpy synths during the chorus don’t quite fit, but otherwise I can bop." Interesting, as I wouldn't have thought of this as dance. Then again, I wouldn't have thought of All God's Children as dance either - more on that later, of course.

    Finally, we go to our high scorers. @bonnieetclyde (8.5) "love(s) that chorus and the seductive vocal delivery in the verses. Great harmonies in the chorus." And @Untitled (8.5) demonstrates my theory that the distinction between queer men and queer women is that y'all call legends 'sis' while we call them 'mom' as she says, "You better commit that murder, Mother, slày, etc."

  18. <=== way psychic
  19. It's weird because I know it is boring and plodding, but I somehow enjoy it in the context of the album. Though, I am in the minority here that feels the whole Live Your Life Be Free album a tad dull outside of the singles.
  20. I remember going to see Bel in 1999 on an acoustic tour and she ended it with an encore of Emotional Highway. I was fuming especially as there had been no Do you Feel or I Plead Insanity. She must love it but it doesn't do owt to me especially when you think its finally over and then it drags it out a little further with some rain and police siren sound effects.
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