Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? | Page 14 | The Popjustice Forum

Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by VivaForever, Feb 18, 2019.

  1. Love In The Key Of C was such a shit single, which predictably derailed the whole album campaign. They should have shifted California forward and finished with Love Doesn't Live Here.

    Emotional Highway...what an absolute bore. It totally ruins the flow of an otherwise great album, and should have been left on the cutting room floor. It's not even b-side worthy.
    CasperFan likes this.
  2. Hmm it did strangely well for a third Belle single though, a better choice might’ve reached #12-ish.

    I remember hearing her perform it on TOTP.
  3. 64. Windows of the World - 6.54

    Highest score: 9 (@Untitled - poor dat)
    Lowest score: 3 (@unnameable)​

    Yet another Carlisle/Caffey/Caffey moment of whatever. And I do mean whatever. God I hate this album. How has it fared so much better than the mediocre but inoffensive AWAAM? This one isn't even that bad, though - I gave it a 5, while I have three 4's and a 3 from Real still in.

    @CasperFan (5) sums up some of my feelings on the album, saying, "A lot of songs on Real just blend into one - not very memorable."

    "This track actually feels a bit inspired by the burgeoning Britpop scene at the time of its recording (especially that opening guitar chord that plays a couple times throughout). I’m liking it," says @Seventeen Days (7). Speaking of days, @Hudweiser (8) notes that it "complements Goodbye Day nicely."

    Shot #1: @unnameable (3) simply says, "Filler."

    Shot #2: "This is another track that could be something from The Go-Go's," says @bonnieetclyde (6.5). "It definitely shares that rocky girl group aesthetic. Lacking any real memorable moments, this track isn't strong enough to leave much of a lasting impression."

  4. I hate Windows of the world, her voice gets on my nerves and its just irritating noise.
  5. Sure, Jan.
    Hudweiser likes this.
  6. I'm not having any Real hate. It's Belle's third best album!
    Phonetics Girl likes this.
  7. It is her third best album from the 90's, definitely.
  8. Oh...I see what you did there!!!
  9. Well, it seems it's time for ME! to take a break from laughing at the Taylor Swift thread in public at work and knock out some songs...

    63. Bless the Beasts and Children - 6.64
    Extras (Tame Yourself, 1991)

    Highest score: 8.3 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 3 (@Cundy)​

    Bless the Beasts and Children was originally recorded in 1971 by The Carpenters for the film of the same name, based on the novel of the same name. Let's have a look at the plot summary from Wikipedia:
    WHEW that's a LOT. Where the Red Fern Grows but make it Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Anyway, the original was a double-A-side with our old friend Superstar, and was nominated for an Oscar but lost to Theme From Shaft, thank God. Belinda released her version on the compilation Tame Yourself, a benefit album for PETA. I could go on about how PETA is the face of evil but I'll spare you all today. The album - which I got used so as not to give PETA any money - also featured Dame Jane Wiedlin and Aleka's Attic (not to be confused with Alisha's Attic), including River Phoenix of "mentioned in California" fame, as well as Erasure, the Pretenders, Howard Jones, and k.d. lang. The song was left off the Live Your Life Be Free reissue, but did appear on the rarities disc of the big The Anthology box set.

    It's one of those songs that bothers me because the title approximates, but does not quite replicate, a lyric - the lyric is actually "bless the beasts and the children," and yes, I'm pedantic enough that that bothers me. It's nice but inessential in my view; would've made a nice B-side.

    "Really lovely version. Sounds like it was made for Belinda," says @bonnieetclyde (8). Empty that bottle, friends, because I didn't realize until beginning the rate that it was a cover. "A sweet song done justice by a good version," says @unnameable (8).

    @pop3blow2 (8.3) finds it an "interesting cover choice. Actually a pretty solid version." On the other hand, @CasperFan (5.5) is "not sure about this one - I suspect it may grow on me but not really that fussed!"

    Let's close with @Seventeen Days (7.5). "I absolutely LOVE the Carpenters, and I think Karen Carpenter was one of the greatest vocalists to ever walk the earth (RIP). Oddly enough, I had never heard their version of this song until just now. After comparing it with Belinda’s take, I have to say that she really does one hell of a job covering this. The production is SO early 90s, but that just adds to its charm."

  10. I'm glad all the shit is being excreted by the rate early. Nature and all that...
  11. 62. Where Love Hides - 6.65

    Highest score: 8.4 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 5 x 3 (me, @Robsolete, @Seventeen Days)​

    Okay, I might have underscored this by, like, a point. There's certainly worse on the album that has yet to go. The only song on Real not co-written by Charlotte and one of three not co-written by Belinda, it was written by Ralph Schuckett, who also wrote Big Scary Animal with Charlotte and Belinda.

    "After listening to this album 3 times, this one just never really leapt out at me. I do like the way it builds up a bit in the middle though," says @Seventeen Days (5).

    @CasperFan (5.5) says it's "quite sweet, nice vocals." @unnameable (7), meanwhile, says that "her voice is being pushed to the limits on this," and I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Either way, @bonnieetclyde (8) is also a fan of the vocals: "Those bongo drums, shaker and beautiful guitar - makes me happy. Her vocals are so vulnerable here in parts, unlike we've heard quite before. The track has a nice build once the heavy drums kick in."

  12. Of the Real ballads, this is the best. FOR SHAME!
  13. 61. Listen to Love - 6.66
    A Woman and a Man

    Highest score: 9.1 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 4 x 2 (@Cundy, @Seventeen Days)​

    Sigh. As I said before, I think this one is cute and would have liked to see it last another twenty places or so, though I do see @Cundy's earlier Debbie Gibson comparison, and I do admit it gives me daytime TV soundtrack. It was written by Christopher García, John Ingoldby, and Ralph McCarthy. I don't know her, or her, or her.

    @bonnieetclyde (8) is clearly a person of taste: "This feels like a track from the earlier Belinda records. It's summery, catchy and showcases her vocals well. I'd have chosen this as a single over Love in the Key of C." @CasperFan (8) similarly "could imagine this on the Belinda album, I love the ‘come on now…’ bit! Great song!"

    "What a lovely and gentle song," says @unnameable (7). Tea. @Seventeen Days (4), unfortunately, was less impressed, saying, "Boy, this album is a roller coaster from bad to good. This track is unfortunately rather bland."

    We'll finish with @pop3blow2 (9.1), with whom I agree for once. "This is great. Sorta ‘Motown-y’, but a fresh take rather than a try hard copy or worse a generic cover."
  14. Listen To Love is okay in a muzak kind of way, but it's ultimately bland and forgettable. At least it's not outright shit like Remember September. As I said before, I find it odd that these two songs are on the front half of the album, as this sort of tripe is normally hidden in the middle of the second half.
  15. 60. Since You've Gone - 6.72

    Highest score: 10 (@Untitled)
    Lowest score: 3 (@Hatbar)​

    A lovely little ballad, Since You've Gone was written by Charlotte, Lindsay Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac, and mid-century songwriter star Jack Segal. I'm surprised to see it was never a B-side to a single, because it sounds tailor-made for that (not in a bad way, in a The Look of Love/Shades of Michelangelo sort of way).

    @Hatbar (3) opines that "The ballads on her debut are pretty drab and this one is no exception." Totally agree on the first part, disagree on the second. @unnameable (6.5) calls it "a moderately enjoyable slice of angst," which made me chuckle.

    "This sounds like it could be from a stage musical," says @CasperFan (6.5). "I always think it’s a bit dull then when the guitars kick in in the chorus I remember how much I like it. Bring on Belinda the Musical." Well, Mad About You and Heaven made it into Head Over Heels, so at least that's something.

    "A decent track, though it skews a bit 'sad montage in direct-to-VHS 80s movie' at times. Her vocals on it are pretty, though," says @Seventeen Days (6.5). Very good description. It gives me "sad montage in an '80s TV episode," but same difference. "'I wait for your call that ne-ver cooooommmmes,'" @pop3blow2 (8.8) intones before declaring it "a great ballad."

    @Remorque (8.5) goes for ha Voilà moment: "This is a great ballad, actually. The chorus is quite the moment and she sounds fucking fantastic the whole way through. Plus, honey... we've all been there, n'est-ce pas?"

    Noted Stevie Nicks stan @tylerc904 (7.5) says, "Lindsey is a genius, and I really like this." Finally, @bonnieetclyde (9) praises the "amazing vocals on this one. Love it when that beat kicks in. I could hear Sophie Ells-Bextor performing this one." Damn, I never would have thought of that, but now that you mention it, so could I. Get on it, Other Sophie!

    Next, two singles in a row leave! Any guesses?
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2019
  16. Gonna go with I Feel the Magic and Band of Gold, though I would much prefer it be I Feel Free and California.

  17. Right??! ha.
  18. Hopefully I Feel The Magic and I Feel Free-both utter shite!
  19. 59. Band of Gold - 6.73

    Highest score: 9 (@Remorque)
    Lowest score: 3 (@Hatbar)​

    The Holland/Dozier/Holland classic was, in my opinion, an inspired choice for Belinda, who gave it a disco-lite sound melded with the more '60s sound of the rest of the album. For the 7" and 12" versions, original performer Freda Payne came in to do a "featuring" bit, which I've honestly never even noticed. It's never made it onto any of Belinda's zillion best-ofs, except for The Anthology. Maybe the royalties would have cut into sales too much, or maybe it's just because it wasn't released as a single in the UK and failed to chart in the US. Though weirdly, I have seen the 12" a couple of times in record stores, and the only other one I've ever seen was ... one copy of Vision of You '91.

    Bonnie Tyler also recorded a cover, produced by Jim Steinman of It's All Coming Back to Céline Now fame, the same year as Belinda's. Hers actually managed to chart in the UK... at #81. Smash. Sylvester's cover three years earlier had made it all the way to #67.

    The lyrics are... a mess. As they stand, they've been interpreted to mean that the husband in the song was impotent or gay (¿por qué no las dos?). But an initial verse, later removed to reduce the song's running time, told a different story: the husband left the wife because she wouldn't fuck him, and she later acknowledges that "the vows we made gave you the right, to have a love each night." Fuckin' YIKES. Someone rewrite this thing with a feminist twist where she dumps him not for being gay and/or impotent, but rather for thinking he has that right.

    "Belinda takes a late 60s soul classic and gives it an 80s update, with enjoyable results. The single mix with vocals from Miss Freda Payne herself is especially great," says @Seventeen Days (8.5). @Remorque (9) agrees, saying, "While the album version is a solid 7/10, I'm actually here more for the single mix featuring Freda Payne. It's got fuller production and they both sound fantastic, though Freda does outshine Belinda don't @ me."

    @unnameable (8) deems it "a disco classic done moderate justice by Belinda, who is not quite as angsty as Freda’s original." And @CasperFan (7) writes, "The first version I ever knew of this was Bonnie Tyler’s version-and this is about as good. A good cover which suits Belinda’s voice. The single version is a bit rubbish though - I’m assuming Freda Payne is singing in unison with Belinda on it, it just sounds messy-give me the Belinda solo album version any day!"

    Kii at "live on Solid Gold," as if anything was ever live on Solid Gold.
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2019
  20. The single version really is a mess-they don't sound good together
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