Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? | Page 17 | The Popjustice Forum

Heaven Is a Rate on Earth. The Belinda Carlisle Rate. Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by VivaForever, Feb 18, 2019.

  1. Sorry I haven't updated yet today. I've been mindlessly bopping to the Louise remix and continuing to fume over the Sophie/Carly/Taylor/Kylie chain of pop trainwrecks in 2019.

    Elimination incoming. In the meantime, make Taylor Swift mad and stream Stretch.
    Last edited: May 2, 2019
    WhipperSnapper likes this.
  2. 51. Have You Ever Seen the Rain - 6.98
    Extras (80's Re:Covered, 2014)

    Highest score: 8.5 x 2 (@CasperFan, @Robsolete)
    Lowest score: 5 x 2 (@Cundy, @Seventeen Days)​

    I have to say, that is an impressively small range of scores.

    I feel like there are basically three singers whose names are inextricably linked with Belinda's even though they barely or never worked together: Susanna Hoffs, as @pop3blow2 and I discussed earlier; Stevie Nicks, who first put Belinda and Rick together and has a somewhat similar timbre; and Bonnie Tyler. Part of my association of Bonnie with Belinda is her cover of Band of Gold, but I'm not totally sure where the rest comes from. She was always more rock than Belinda, and their voices aren't that similar.

    But I'm somewhat vindicated by this, which appeared on a comp in which an impressive lineup of '80s acts covered some of their favorite songs. These included Sam Fox doing Donna Summer's Hot Stuff (of course), Wang Chung doing Blur's (ugh) Girls and Boys, Kim Wilde turning in a so-so cover of Captain & Tennille's Love Will Keep Us Together, and my favorite, Go West doing The Killers' Human. Have You Ever Seen the Rain was originally recorded by Creedence Clearwater Revival (gags), but Belinda's version seems more rooted in Bonnie Tyler's cover from her 1983 album Faster Than the Speed of Night. Aside from having an incredible title, the album was produced by Jim "It's All Coming Back to Him Now" Steinman, who also wrote the title track and, of course, Total Eclipse of the Heart.

    Let's take a moment to appreciate the world's best version of Total Eclipse of the Heart. No, it is not Nicki fucking French. Go on, I'll be here when you get back.

    Now that we've enjoyed that, let's hear some commentary.

    @Hudweiser (6) "knew Bonnie Tyler’s version quite well already and feel that has more of a punch than this one." Similarly, @Seventeen Days (5) "never was really too crazy about the original, not super into this one. Belinda still sounds great though."

    In a shocking moment, @pop3blow2 (8.3) expresses some disappointment: "Decent version, but nothing spectacular here. It's fine." @bonnieetclyde (8) also "knew the track, didn't know Belinda had covered it. I very much like her interpretation. Can't beat the original but a good job anyway." So it's up to @CasperFan (8.5) to take up the mantle of excitable fan, as he says, "Great cover (don’t know the original) as usual she sings the hell out of it. I actually really, really love this - a new discovery of the rate."

    And for once @unnameable (8) is neither on top nor on bottom, but does deliver this gem of a comment: "She’s an even greater pluviophile than Shirley Manson with this and Summer Rain, but she is the best precipitation-bop performer."

  3. 50. I Need a Disguise - 6.99

    Highest score: 8.4 (@pop3blow2)
    Lowest score: 5 x 2 (@Hudweiser, @Cundy)​

    I think this is a cute little song that easily could have been a single in place of Magic. It's actually the one I alluded to yesterday as "the original Shades of Michelangelo," but it turns out I had it mixed up with something else, so you'll have to wait a bit longer for me to unravel that cryptic moment of shady whatever. This was actually another Steinberg/Kelly momenT, this time with the aforementioned Ms. Hoffs.

    @bonnieetclyde (8) thinks it "sounds a little bit like 'I Get Weak' when it starts. Lacking a big chorus but I enjoy the overall vibe." Hmm... okay. I'm more on board with @CasperFan's (6) comparison: "Not a bad little bop, bit of a Motown feel - not essential Belinda but I wouldn’t skip it."

    @pop3blow2 (8.4) calls it "sweetly cheesy 80’s," which I think is also apt. Speaking of sweetly cheesy '80s, here's a Bangles-related tidbiT from @Seventeen Days (7): "I read somewhere that this was apparently intended for a Bangles album, which makes sense. It sounds like it would fit perfectly on their album Different Light. I don’t super love this one, but it’s enjoyable and peppy." @unnameable (8) focuses on the non-Bangle songwriters, saying, "I love the 'cru-u-u-el' and 'lo-o-o-se' stretched notes (yes it’s true – a Steinberg/Kelly song I haven’t given a 9+ to!)."

    Final word to @Remorque (7.5). "Forgive me, but I've never really been all that invested in the Belinda era" (who can blame him) "and I seriously thought this was going to be some Footloose moment of whatever. Instead I got a breezy pop song that perfectly suits Belinda. I doubt I'll stay invested though."

    Speaking of the Bangles, I heard Manic Monday in the grocery store yesterday. One thing you have to say for Wegmans, their music selections knock.
    Last edited: May 2, 2019
  4. Aaaargh no-out far too early! Such a great song
  5. 49. Wrap My Arms - 7.01

    Highest score: 9 (@Cundy)
    Lowest score: 3 (@Hatbar)​

    Okay, now, that 3 notwithstanding, there was only one other score under a 6, and that was a 5.5, so I'm a bit less pressed about the only good song on Real that isn't Big Scary Animal leaving.

    This was one of my main rate discoveries. For obvious reasons, I wasn't familiar with it, and admittedly it's not groundbreaking nor amazing, but it's a cute summery semi-bop. The phrase "wrap [your] arms around [me]" will never not give me Agnetha, and obvi this isn't in WYAAM territory, but it's a solid 8 for me. Very nice for driving around with the sun roof open. (Sure, I don't have a convertible, but I have a sun roof, bitches!) It's also another instance of Belinda's rather endearing penchant for songs that feature the word "world" prominently (when will "rain"?). It was, incidentally, another Caffey/Caffey/Carlisle co-write. Not exactly Holland/Dozier/Holland or Stock/Aitken/Waterman, but a nice-sounding string of names nonetheless.

    @bonnieetclyde (6.5) gets my hackles up a little, saying it "sounds like a B-Side. Sweet but simple." @CasperFan (5.5) "like(s) the violin in the middle - not much else to say!"

    @Seventeen Days (7) is here to ask the important questions. "Why do I feel like this is the same drum loop on at least two other tracks on this album? At least the rest of this song has some decent vocals and production." @unnameable (8) makes me chuckle as they observe, "The opening to this sounds like the theme-tune to the most 90s teen drama ever written."

    Finally, we have someone with taste, as @Hudweiser (7) notes the "divine melody in the verses on this, a possible single if the label hadn’t bailed."

    Tomorrow, Belinda sings about blowjobs and/or Jesus, I make a couple of you very happy, and I'm the lowest scorer again.
  6. Big Scary Animal's out so soon?
  7. I suppose Jesus was a bit "too real" for Pontius Pilate.
    Eric Generic likes this.
  8. I am livid already about Kneel at Your Feet leaving tomorrow.
    WhipperSnapper likes this.
  9. Wrap My Arms out already? You're all disgusting. It's wonderful. Still, it's nice to be high scorer rather than low for once.

    As for that song from the debut. Who gives a toss?
  10. Sorry I didn't get around to eliminating anything on Friday. Life interfered.

    Okay, that "blowjobs and/or Jesus" hint was pretty heavy-handed, but I couldn't resist.

    48. Kneel at Your Feet - 7.08
    A Woman and a Man

    Highest score: 10 (@tylerc904)
    Lowest score: 4.5 (@Robsolete)​

    Another Caffey/Caffey/Carlisle opus. I use that term loosely.

    "I’m not sure if this is a love song or the Caffeys writing an I-love-Jesus song, but this is really good," says @unnameable (9). I disagree on the latter part - it's another totally bland album track. But like, literally is there any other interpretation of this song than being about either God or blowjobs? ANYTHING?

    "This one seems like it’s headed for Celine Dion levels of 90s ballad cheesiness at first, then the guitars kick in. Not bad." Let's get one thing clear, @Seventeen Days (7). Outside of the diabolical Let's Talk About Love album, Slayline Dion would NEVER.

    "Not really feeling this one. Some the guitar stuff in the background is actually sorta distracting and a bit much." When @pop3blow2 (7.5) doesn't like a song... well.

    "Not really for me, a bit plodding, not very memorable except maybe for Belinda’s high notes in the chorus." I wouldn't even give it that exception, @CasperFan (5.5).

    "It definitely builds and gets better as it does. Some of the vocals here are a little too much but overall it's a good song." An opinion from @bonnieetclyde (7).

    Finally, our high scorer @tylerc904 (10) says, "Probably my definition of 'underrated Belinda tune'. I just love the whole vibe of it."
  11. Here @tylerc904, have a consolation elimination.

    47. I Feel Free - 7.12
    Heaven on Earth

    Highest score: 10 (@Remorque)
    Lowest score: 3.5 (@CasperFan)​

    For once we won't be doing another shot, as this time around I already knew this was a cover of a song by British psychedelic-pop-rock band Cream. Because I found that out while doing the singles rate dddddddd. I gave it a 6 but would definitely rank it toward the bottom of Belinda's singles.

    Now it's time for a shot! And we can thank @CasperFan (3.5) for this one. "Thankfully the UK were spared this as a single - more Go-Go’s than solo Belinda - and she really doesn’t need to do covers when her original material is so strong."

    Shot two, courtesy of @unnameable (6)! "Enjoyable, but feels like a Go-Go's track cut from an album."

    @Seventeen Days (8) "can’t hear this now without thinking of the book American Psycho, because Patrick Bateman mentions it playing almost every time he’s in a club. I do like this track though, it’s very bouncy and fun."

    Some other assorted praise:
    • "Haunting intro. Classic. That’s my fave part." - @pop3blow2 (9)
    • "Catchy, especially when she kicks into that second verse 'I could walk down the street...' etc. I don't know why but I could hear Alison Goldfrapp performing this track with it's odd and twisty synths and vocal production amped-up." - @bonnieetclyde (9)
    • "TUNE! The original Cream version is so dull; Belinda really brought it up several notches. No idea why this was a US-only single." - @Hudweiser (9)
    • "I know, I know, the lack of originality and creativity; but whatever I'm fucking bopping" - @Untitled (8)
    And finally, high scorer @Remorque (10) gives us some childhood memories: "This cover was darker territory for Belinda to tread, but she pulled it off fantastically. I remember this one being one of my mother's absolute favourites and she used to put it on every mixed tape she made. God, the woman gave me such good taste in music."

    Last edited: May 6, 2019
  12. 46. Tell Me - 7.15

    Highest score: 10 x 2 (@pop3blow2, @Cundy)
    Lowest score: 4 (me)​

    The Real album tracks continue to fall. Me. I Feel... Vindicated. (At Last.) And wouldn't you know it, it's yet another Caffey/Caffey/Carlisle song. I have no idea what this song even sounds like anymore, but I gave it a 4, so I'm sure it's crap. Also, the title is reminding me of Tell Me Bonita by Dana Dawson and Tell Me, Tell Me from Scooby-Doo, both of which I'm sure are better.

    I have neither the motivation nor the knowledge to respond to commentary, so here:
    • "Strong vocals and very emotive ones at that. The verses are a little weak but that chorus is pretty great." - @bonnieetclyde (7.5)
    • "Nice raw vocal in chorus but very average song" - @CasperFan (5)
    • "A bit grungey, but still pretty. I like the tension of the two syles. A raw undercurrent of anxiety run through this song. Her best vocals ever might be on this record." - @pop3blow2 (10)
    • "The choir synth intro really gives this one a bit of an icy tone. It actually feels quite different than most of the album to me." - @Seventeen Days (7.5)
    • "I like some angsty Belinda" - @unnameable (7)
  13. I was slightly irked when I saw Kneel At Your Feet had been ousted so early as it's one of my favourite album tracks on Woman/Man.

    But Tell Me?! It's utterly beautiful in all its doom like glory. It's a love song with a hatchet. An unhealthy, yearning tour-de-force that deserves much better. It reminds me if the days I used to lie on my bed at home reading the likes of Dream Date from the Point Horror series whilst all my friends were out trying to get into bars and clubs and slagging me off for spending all my money on music instead of going out and mindlessly getting pissed. It's a gem, a joy, an experience and you fuckers don't deserve it!

    Oh, and I Feel Free? Meh.
  14. Giving me:

    "What is it?"
    "It's a Belinda Carlisle."
    "No, what is this thing?"
    "Oh, this is Tell Me."
    "WHAT IS IT?"
    "It's a gem... a joy... an experience."
    "Oh, it's a song!"
  15. I never liked Tell Me (it was the b-side to Lay Down Your Arms). It just didn't take flight like the rest of the album.
  16. There is one bad song on Real. One bad song!
  17. There are at least three. And only two actually good songs. I don't make the rules.
    Deleted member 30181 likes this.
  18. Pah! It's Belinda's third best album. I do make the rules!!!
  19. 1. Live Your Life Be Free
    2. Runaway Horses
    3. Heaven on Earth
    4./5. A Woman and a Man / Belinda
    6. Real
    7. Voilà
    8. Wilder Shores

    And that's the tea.
  20. Even though I gave it a 9 (and Tell Me a 10) I'm more upset/surprised I Feel Free left in this recent batch.

    I guess it's possible I overscored some of Real a bit, but I was feeling it when rating.
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