I Came, I Saw, I Conquered: The Madonna Discography Rate, Part III - The 21st Century

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Let's begin with a quote, shall we?​

Don't know if anyone has ever done this before, but I thought i'd give it ago. If there's not much interest I'll not bother. All you have to do is rate each of Madonna's UK singles out of 10 and send it to me by PM. I'll tot up the scores and averages and then count them down in this thread providing I get enough responses to make it worthwhile.

Note- I'm only including the UK singles- starting with Holiday and finishing with Celebration- no Me Against The Music either as she's a featured artist. Here goes- rates to the left please:

Blimey, that is a back catalogue and a half.
The first ever Popjustice rate. And look at all of us now. Graphics, new mechanics, extravagant countdowns; some so extravagant the rates couldn't even be finished. So as we begin the end, let's remember that if it wasn't for Madonna and her music, it's possible no one would have ever thought of this revolutionary little game where we mark scores out of ten and one person makes a thrilling countdown out of it. Hell, we could still be playing Song Survivors. How 2003. So thank you to The Visitor, who quite literally visited to change our forum lives forever before leaving as quickly as he came. Sniff!

(PS: Don't bother looking in that thread for any indication of how this will go. There are already several differences.)

(PPS: Looks like the decision about "Me Against The Music" spans generations of rates. Kii.)

Part of me wanted to do some kind of massive roll out of promo before opening this thread. I was booked to host SNL, I was meant to sit down with Cynthia McFadden for my most revealing interview ever, I had signed up to do a Google+ Hangout, whatever the fuck that is. I was going to do meet and greets in the three HMVs left in the world, and there was even going to be a tribute to me at this year's VMAs, where @Laura Vanderbooben, @Daniel!, @push the button and @Alchemy Jones v2.0 would have performed a medley of my greatest hits before I was given the inaugural RJF Rate Vanguard Award. It was all ready to go before I stopped it all. I realised: I have the music of the Queen of Pop here, from arguably the most divisive and in some ways most interesting period of career. There are highs, there are lows, but more importantly, there's you. Your scores, your commentary, your humiliation when I ridicule your terrible taste. So we have great but occasionally shit music, we have great but occasionally shit people. And most of all, we have me, who is great all the time. There is literally nothing else you need in this world for a good time, so let's do iTTTT.

Our rules are the exact same as the previous rates, and here they are:

- Rate the below songs with a score between 0-10.
- Half marks are allowed, and hell, even encouraged if it makes your scoring more accurate.
- Commentary is also encouraged. Give me the tea.
- Don’t fucking troll and force me to throw your votes out.
- One track, and one track only, can be granted the sacred 11/10 score.

I’m opening the thread early for preliminary discussion. I’ll provide links to all the music below when the voting is actually open. It’ll be up to you to hunt down in the meantime.

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Music (2000)

1. Music
2. Impressive Instant
3. Runaway Lover
4. I Deserve It
5. Amazing
6. Nobody's Perfect
7. Don't Tell Me
8. What It Feels Like For A Girl
9. Paradise (Not For Me)
10. Gone
11. American Pie
12. Cyber-Raga

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American Life (2003)

1. American Life
2. Hollywood
3. I'm So Stupid
4. Love Profusion
5. Nobody Knows Me
6. Nothing Fails
7. Intervention
8. X-Static Process
9. Mother And Father
10. Die Another Day
11. Easy Ride

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Confessions On A Dance Floor (2005)

1. Hung Up
2. Get Together
3. Sorry
4. Future Lovers
5. I Love New York
6. Let It Will Be
7. Forbidden Love
8. Jump
9. How High
10. Isaac
11. Push
12. Like It Or Not
13. Fighting Spirit
14. Super Pop

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Hard Candy (2008)

1. Candy Shop
2. 4 Minutes (Feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland)
3. Give It 2 Me
4. Heartbeat
5. Miles Away
6. She's Not Me
7. Incredible
8. Beat Goes On (Feat. Kanye West)
9. Dance 2Night
10. Spanish Lesson
11. Devil Wouldn't Recognize You
12. Voices
13. Ring My Bell

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MDNA (2012)

1. Girl Gone Wild
2. Gang Bang
3. I'm Addicted
4. Turn Up The Radio
5. Give Me All Your Luvin' (Feat. Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.)
6. Some Girls
7. Superstar
8. I Don't Give A (Feat. Nick Minaj)
9. I'm A Sinner
10. Love Spent
11. Masterpiece
12. Falling Free
13. Beautiful Killer
14. I Fucked Up
15. B-Day Song (Feat. M.I.A.)
16. Best Friend

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Rebel Heart (2015)

1. Living For Love
2. Devil Pray
3. Ghosttown
4. Unapologetic Bitch
5. Illuminati
6. Bitch I'm Madonna (Feat. Nicki Minaj)
7. Hold Tight
8. Joan Of Arc
9. Iconic (Feat. Chance The Rapper & Mike Tyson)
10. HeartBreakCity
11. Body Shop
12. Holy Water
13. Inside Out
14. Wash All Over Me
15. Best Night
16. Veni Vidi Vici (Feat. Nas)
17. S.E.X.
18. Messiah
19. Rebel Heart
20. Beautiful Scars
21. Borrowed Time
22. Addicted
23. Graffiti Heart
24. Autotune Baby

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B-Sides, Rarities, Compilation Tracks, Etc. (2000-Present)

1. Time Stood Still
2. Your Honesty
3. Hey You
4. History
5. Celebration
6. Revolver
7. It's So Cool
8. Broken (I'm Sorry)

VOTING IS NOW OPEN AND CLOSES ON SEPTEMBER 27TH.

For the final time: don't fuck it up.
 
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1. Hung Up - 9.412

2. Nothing Fails - 9.328
3. Get Together - 9.299
4. Don't Tell Me - 9.088
5. Die Another Day - 8.632
6. Sorry - 8.613
7. What It Feels Like For A Girl - 8.603
8. Jump - 8.534
9. Ghosttown - 8.387
10. Living For Love - 8.324
11. Forbidden Love - 8.279
12. Intervention - 8.25
13. Hollywood - 8.191
14. Devil Pray - 8.162
15. X-Static Process - 8.152
16. Isaac - 8.127
17. American Life - 8.108
18. Music - 8.039
19. Give It 2 Me - 7.961
20. Future Lovers - 7.922
21. Joan Of Arc - 7.912
22. Devil Wouldn't Recognize You - 7.902
23. Easy Ride - 7.853
24. Rebel Heart - 7.843
25. Bitch I'm Madonna (Feat. Nicki Minaj) - 7.735
26. Miles Away - 7.725
27. Love Profusion - 7.706
28. Gone - 7.701
29. Let It Will Be - 7.667
30. Time Stood Still - 7.662
31. Paradise (Not For Me) - 7.647
32. Iconic (Feat. Chance The Rapper & Mike Tyson) - 7.642
33. I'm Addicted - 7.623
34. Nobody Knows Me - 7.618
35. Celebration - 7.593
36. Love Spent - 7.588
37. How High - 7.49
38. Mother And Father - 7.348
39. Inside Out - 7.343
40. Impressive Instant - 7.284

41. Like It Or Not - 7.25
42. Hold Tight - 7.24
43. Gang Bang - 7.235
44. Push - 7.206
45. Addicted - 7.186
46. Veni Vidi Vici (Feat. Nas) - 7.088
47. Heartbeat - 7.025
48. Holy Water - 7.01
49. I Deserve It - 6.966
50. 4 Minutes (Feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland) - 6.961
51. Messiah - 6.946
52. Falling Free - 6.877
53. She's Not Me - 6.863
54. Beautiful Killer - 6.848
55. Best Night - 6.838
56. Body Shop - 6.804
57. HeartBreakCity - 6.765

58. Unapologetic Bitch - 6.76
59. Amazing - 6.677
60. Voices - 6.618
61. Wash All Over Me - 6.593
62. Broken - 6.588
63. Beautiful Scars - 6.564
64. Runaway Lover - 6.534
65. Borrowed Time - 6.5
66. Masterpiece - 6.471
67. I Love New York - 6.456
68. Beat Goes On (Feat. Kanye West) - 6.442
69. Nobody's Perfect - 6.368
70. American Pie - 6.314
71. Girl Gone Wild - 6.265
72. I Don't Give A (Feat. Nicki Minaj) - 6.225
73. Graffiti Heart - 6.147
74. I'm So Stupid - 6.142
75. Candy Shop - 6.103
76. Dance 2night - 6.088

77. It's So Cool - 5.99
78. Your Honesty - 5.98
79. I'm A Sinner - 5.961
80. Some Girls - 5.956
81. Illuminati - 5.897
82. Give Me All Your Luvin' (Feat. Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.) - 5.868
83. History - 5.784
84. Fighting Spirit - 5.77
85. Revolver - 5.71
86. Super Pop - 5.593
87. Best Friend - 5.5
88. Turn Up The Radio - 5.471
89. S.E.X. - 5.456
90. I Fucked Up - 5.441
91. Ring My Bell - 5.191
92. Incredible - 4.951
93. Autotune Baby - 4.471
94. Spanish Lesson - 4.049
95. Superstar - 3.873
96. Cyber-Raga - 3.657
97. B-Day Song - 2.912
98. Hey You - 2.765
 
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This is gonna be so fun. The graphics ITT are damn gorgeous.

Shame Queen is not listed.
 
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2014

Staff member
Rebel Heart is going to be such a slog to get through again. My 11 at the moment is between Don't Tell Me or Sorry.
 
he/him
I might get in on this since this won't require a lot of relistening. I can finally give American Life justice and save the good bits of MDNA.
 
...
there was even going to be a tribute to me at this year's VMAs, where @Laura Vanderbooben, @Daniel!, @push the button and @Alchemy Jones v2.0 would have performed a medley of my greatest hits before I was given the inaugural RJF Rate Vanguard Award...​

I'm pretty heartsick this was cancelled, for two reasons:

1) I was going to sing lead.
2) I'd already paid for Jody Den Broeder to remix Get Motherfucking Taste for a live television setting, and it was going to bring the house down.
 
RJF said:
...
there was even going to be a tribute to me at this year's VMAs, where @@Laura Vanderbooben, @@Daniel!, @@push the buttonand @@Alchemy Jones v2.0 would have performed a medley of my greatest hits before I was given the inaugural RJF Rate Vanguard Award...


I'm pretty heartsick this was cancelled, for two reasons:

1) I was going to sing lead.
ahem

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