I Kissed a Boy (Dannii Minogue/gay Love Island)

londonrain

Staff member
Just caught up on all this. Hello Matty what a attractive man, true bombshell introduction
Random pop fact: he used to date George Shelley from Union J.

iu
 
What is Ben even doing on the show? He literally sucks the life of an episode the moment the camera focuses on him.

Alongside Josh, I'm not sure if Ben is really a good choice for the show. I'm just not sure if Ben realizes this whereas Josh did and made for the door. Either way, he feels a bit of a dour drag and maybe just doesn't have the patience for what is, admittedly, a pretty weird process.
 

londonrain

Staff member
He very much does not seem ready for the speed at which people are required to couple up on the show, and he also seems overwhelmed by the attention he's receiving (which seems... disproportionate, but hey, he's a tall white bearded top with a Scottish accent, so I guess that must count for a lot in the masseria). It's bizarre how lacking in self-awareness he is. (On being told he was the most judgemental person in the masseria he then reacted by being really judgemental about people. I mean...) I really hope he's the next one to go home (along with Vitor, who seems to have lost the will to continue).

Meanwhile, the black guys seem to be getting less and less screen time. Joe seemed to have given up once the situation with Ross fizzled out, Ceejay seems to have the personality of a dishrag, and Subomi seems quite happy to stay well out of the drama and let Gareth get on with providing TV content.

I do like that the show doesn't keep harping on about whether people are tops/bottoms/vers/sides, but where people seem to be quite firmly committed to a sexual position for some reason it does seem to be a factor. I can't help but think that Mikey might have been less quick to pick Josh over Bobski had Bobski not said he was a "raging bottom", for example, especially given what Mikey later said to Dan about his own preferences.
 
But having an avoidant attachment style isn’t an excuse. In fact it’s quite a toxic personality trait and it will damage Ben in the long run.

Vitor is displaying classic anxious behaviour because he wants reassurance from Ben that the attraction is still there and Ben is showing classic avoidant behaviour because he feels stifled the moment someone actually shows proper interest in him.

(See also: his reaction to Ross saying he fancied him.)

With Vitor it’s a mask for the fact he thinks his value lies in the fact people want to fuck him, so he leans hard into that because he thinks he’ll get the affection he wants if he gives people what he thinks they want, which is to fuck him.

With Ben it’s a mask for the fact he’s got impostor syndrome about having multiple people fancy him, but also he struggles to figure out what HE actually wants and what level of attention he wants in a relationship. So when he gets in a match he gets an initial rush of new relationship energy but he doesn’t know how to sustain it because he can’t ask for what he needs if he doesn’t know what he needs. He’s severely emotionally closed off because for whatever reason he hasn’t found that being vulnerable is a good thing for him.

Vitor actually did come around to being able to just articulate what he needed, and Ben reacted badly to it.

This is basically a masterclass in the avoidant/anxious tango and it deserves to be raised in therapy sessions across the country. The more Ben pulls away, the more Vitor thinks “if only I changed X or Y he’d like me” and gets more desperate for Ben’s attention, and the more Vitor tries to get Ben’s attention, the more Ben gets scared and pulls away.

Ben thought Ollie wasn’t doing enough chasing. Now he thinks Vitor is doing too much chasing. The truth is that nobody will ever do the right amount of chasing for him because he will always start losing interest once he feels either that the other guy is not interested enough or that the other guy is too interested. It’s self-sabotaging.

Basically, earth to Vitor on the subject of Ben:

This is so spot on. Do you do this for a living?
 

londonrain

Staff member
On a separate note, it’s interesting to me that based on Instagram Q&As there are a couple of friend groups that have evolved post-show:

Dan/Gareth/Ben (Subomi does seem to still hang out with Gareth sometimes so maybe they did stay together?)
Kailum/Vitor/Josh/Ross/Mikey

(Also I love that Mikey said on his Insta Q&A that he and Joe did actually have a bottle of Prosecco with Dannii post-elimination. There seems to be a recurring theme of the boys going out of their way to say how invested she was in the show and how much time she had for the guys.)
 
Ben is better than me because I would have cussed Horrid Henry out. Not sure why he decided to insert himself into Ben and Vitor's business, but I think he's still miffed about Ben rejecting him. I don't particularly think Vitor or Ben have done much wrong. They're just very incompatible and need to work on themselves.
 
Never watched dating shows before but why do they keep saying "he's a bit of me"?

I'm in two minds about the show, on the one hand it just doesn’t work both on paper and on screen, but it's still endearing in part and its existence feels... important?

The last couple of episodes you can really tell the producers have been messing them around, and it's mildly entertaining to see which boys went for their regrettable Real Housewives moment and who was like, 'lol no thanks but I did bring a lot of small clothes so here's a silly runway show, you're welcome'

Dannii is fantastic.

Bobski was the one, they all missed out.
 

londonrain

Staff member
Ross is very much giving “I’m a straight talker who stands up for my friends and is HONEST!”, which is basically “I’m an idiot who can’t stay out of other people’s business and feels like he has to control every situation”.

Also, the way Mikey, Ollie and Ross have 3-4 times the number of Instagram followers that the others have (they’re averaging about 5-7k, barring Subomi and Ceejay, who are way behind)…

rLl.gif


I think Matty is the only one that’s come in with a substantial social media following. Imagine if he’d been paired off with Bobski…
 
I can’t at Ben changing his behaviour towards Vitor literally after turning around and kissing him. He just doesn’t come across as a nice person at all.

Also how is there 2 new episodes already? I checked BBC iPlayer all of last week and there were only 4 episodes and today there’s 6?
 
I can’t at Ben changing his behaviour towards Vitor literally after turning around and kissing him. He just doesn’t come across as a nice person at all.

Also how is there 2 new episodes already? I checked BBC iPlayer all of last week and there were only 4 episodes and today there’s 6?

It airs Sunday/Monday but iPlayer sometimes uploads both episodes together on the Sunday…
 

LTG

he/him
I can’t at Ben changing his behaviour towards Vitor literally after turning around and kissing him. He just doesn’t come across as a nice person at all.

Also how is there 2 new episodes already? I checked BBC iPlayer all of last week and there were only 4 episodes and today there’s 6?
They’ve been adding two episodes at a time every Sunday.
 
Not too sure about this upcoming twist. Think producers need to realise we need a bit of light with the shade - constant drama is jarring. Gareth and Subomi have essentially been edited out unless they're giving advice, and I'm sure they don't just sit in silence the rest of the time.
 

londonrain

Staff member
Not too sure about this upcoming twist. Think producers need to realise we need a bit of light with the shade - constant drama is jarring. Gareth and Subomi have essentially been edited out unless they're giving advice, and I'm sure they don't just sit in silence the rest of the time.
And it sounded like they were really reaching to find drama for Kailum and Jake to justify their screen time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: K94

londonrain

Staff member
It's a shame there are only 2 episodes left, it feels like it's just heating up. I'm really liking Matty and Jake W. Hopefully a second season might be longer.
I’m worried Matty will pick Ben and Jake W will be out with barely any time in the masseria.

At this point it must be between Dan/Ollie, Gareth/Subomi and Kailum/Jake to ‘win’ the final episode. I’m not seeing it for Ross/Ceejay or Matty/Ben, and Jake W and Vitor look like they’re on the way out.
 
I hate that I see so much of myself in Ben, especially after that brutally correct analysis. At least I'm self-aware enough not to put myself through a process like this I guess.

It kind of takes the fun out of it knowing how short the series is. The stakes feel super low now. I really hope if they get another series it can be reformatted.
 
I’m worried Matty will pick Ben and Jake W will be out with barely any time in the masseria.

At this point it must be between Dan/Ollie, Gareth/Subomi and Kailum/Jake to ‘win’ the final episode. I’m not seeing it for Ross/Ceejay or Matty/Ben, and Jake W and Vitor look like they’re on the way out.
My vote goes to Gareth & Subomi!

From following the guys on social media, it seems none of the relationships have lasted. I hope we find out what happened, if they instantly parted ways or how it went.
 
Top