I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate

Could ask the same thing about Diana.

 

But will you have an eleven left after today? Hmmmm.

 

I need to go to the doctor.
















Something's wrong with me.
















Or more accurately you.


















Stop traumatizing me please.

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#22. Heart Attack [7.625]

High Score: 11 x 1 (@Posh Spears), 10 x 6 (@Animalia, @DJHazey, @First2Run, @iheartpoptarts, @ohnostalgia, @Up Down Suite)
Low Score: 3 x 3 (@eccentricsimply, @Sprockrooster, @Xanthippe)


Call me an ambulance; I'm feeling way to many things. Blackout rage being first and foremost. I'm personally offended you all had the gall to kick this gem out before the Top 20. I also see that the bullying against @Animalia and @Posh Spears continues and you will all be reported to the mods. If I get you banned, can I remove your scores? Hmmmmmmmmmm't. That's an idea. I've got nothing left to lose at this point anyways. Written by our Swedish royalty, Heart Attack is that sunshiney bop we all need but some people apparently don't deserve. I just love everything about it with my whole heart (well, what's left of it after you all killed me a thousand times over in this rate). The boys (minus Louis) sound fabulous, there are amazing verses, and THAT CHORUS!!!!!!!!!!! If you don't get your life to those ows! and you---uus, then you're dead inside. That's my professional medical opinion. You might as well leave PopJustice while you're at it, because this ain't the place for you. This song is jam packed with the most poppy hooks, the most Swedish writers, and the most perfectly paced bpm. And you ungrateful lot threw it to the ground. What can I really expect from the crew that trashed Stole My Heart at 26 though? Why do I even bother hoping with you lot? There is no hope. Abandon all optimism. Turn back while you can. Only death lingers here.


So who betrayed me this time? Here's what our three low scorers had to say for themselves:


@eccentricsimply (3)- "Meh."


@Sprockrooster (3)- "I almost wish for one listening to this drag after drag."


@Xanthippe (3)- " I deleted this off my playlist."


So let me break this down: 1) spoil sport, 2) okay, 3) you don't deserve it anyways. NEXT.



Are you fucking kidding me? @wackseed (6)- "This is tragically not a cover of the Demi Lovato song. But it's cute enough, and it's largely a Harry and Zayn song, which makes it a winner in my book, even if it is a bit forgettable."


Wrong per usual, @VivaForever (6.5)- "This needs bigger production. But it’s got a good song at its core, unlike half of Up All Night."


Don't think I didn't see these scores @MarkB (5), @GhettoPrincess (6), @thefaceofyou (6), @Subwaykid (6), @Petty Mayonnaise (6), and @Reboot (6.5). DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEE.


Yeah, but this time it worked, @A$AP Robbie (7)! - "It's a bit like Savan and Rami are settling into a writing for 1D formula on this."


@Macsun (7)- "A solid enough track but never understood the praise for it. The "oww" chants are annoying as shit." GET BEHIND ME SATAN!


Thanks but no thanks to these people @Remorque (7), @MollieSwift21 (7.2), @Furball (7), @Fever (7). Shoo.


Before we move on to happier places, I'd like to present you a visual representation of what you've lot done to me.

ARE YOU PROUD??????

​

I'm so glad you saw the light, @sexercise (8)! "I used to hate this but it’s actually kind of great. Whoops."


@constantino (8)- "The chorus is fun and bouncy…it’s also apparent how much their voices had come along since their debut…" C'mon improvement!


I adore you, @With The Bands (9)- "A fun pop song and less cheesy than their UAN sound – love it."


Same, @SophiaSophia (9.8)- "Another favourite of mine off this album."


It's a rare day when we agree, @Up Down Suite (10)- "It doesn’t feel as insipid as other songs they’ve put out prior to it. The ’AWHH’s are quite in-your-face and give the song some personality."


Welcome to more straightness with @DJHazey (10) - "This song is whole lotta fun with it's bouncy melody and of course all the "Yows". This song reads like that moment that you see your ex-gf with a new boy and seeing it happen much quicker than you'd ever imagined = "I never thought it'd hurt so bad". However, the delivery seems so tongue-in-cheek that it's almost as if you've convinced yourself to look much stronger on the outside than you really are. i.e. "tsss, it's not even a big deal, I've already moved on too." When in reality, you just want to go home immediately and cry."


@iheartpoptarts (10)- "Why is basically every song named ‘Heart Attack’ amazing?" I think it's the law.


@First2Run (10)- "OW! Amazing! This song has character and also the most basic but amazing instrumental that makes me live." RIGHT!


AMAZING @Animalia (10)!- "OWWWWWW! Oh man, my friend I used to scream that all the time when this album came out, like some weird inside joke. I remember he played it at a house party one time and the whole room was just silently awkward-bopping while we danced for our lives."


I think you knew this was coming, but it still fucking hurts, @Posh Spears (11)- "Several songs were close contenders for my 11, but it just felt right to give it to this one, especially because Take Me Home is my favorite album of theirs so why not. Back when the album first came out, I always jammed to this even though I was annoyed by how overhyped they were as a group. It’s an amazing pop song and that “owwww” is Niall’s reason for being alive. Hopefully someone friendzones me soon so I can cry to this."

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Don't forget another 11 goes tomorrow:​

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Oh, today is such a good day to me I'm convinced I'm losing two of my 10s tomorrow.

 

A visual representation of you at this very moment:

 

Yes!!!!

 

You gave it 9.5 apparently.

 

You all know they'd give the screaming to Louis right?