I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate

Isn't is nice when you already know the winner xoxoxo?

 

I am the one putting my heart and soul into this rate and dealing with all the tragic underscored averages and bad taste.

I DESERVE TO LORD IT OVER YOU FOR ONCE.

 

I JUST LOST AN ELEVEN IN A DIFFERENT RATE. I AM EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED.

 

I have a 0 and 1 still in this. At this point I've accepted my 11 might leave before those.

 

I had most of my graphics made and your commentary copied, but now I'm just sobbing alone.

 

I am sometimes a good person, I didn't deserve this.

I was actually really looking forward to composing my next writeup, now I feel uninspired and empty.

 

No.

 

The show










*sob*










Must go










*hiccup*












On

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#17. Perfect [7.792]

High Score: 10 x 8 (@constantino, @Fever, @Petty Mayonnaise, @Reboot, @sexercise, @Subwaykid, @Txetxu, @Up Down Suite)
Low Score: 0 x 1 (@eccentricsimply)

My Score: 9

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are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? in the clear yet, good.



It's no secret that I love both Harry Styles and Taylor Swift, so of course I'm completely fascinated by their brief relationship. The musical back and forth we've had since their breakup has given me so much life over the last two years. Who cares if it's genuine or not? Honestly, that's hardly the point. Everything about these two has always been extremely calculated and controlled; you'll know what they want you to know and that's all. As a terribly private person, this is something I relate to endlessly. You'll take what glimpses I give you and you'll like it.


Released as the second single from Murder In The Adult-Contemporary Minefield, Perfect peaked at #2 on the UK Singles Chart and #10 on the US Billboard Hot 100. It was also rather infamously latched on to by some people as a Louis and Harry cowrite. HAHAHAHAHA. If I'm remembering correctly, didn't we later find out they wrote this in separate rooms? Or is that just my wishful thinking? Anyways, this is what I really love about Perfect: Harry borrows and twists Taylor's music to paint his own side of the story. He flawlessly achieves two goals: 1) playing Taylor's wink wink plausible deniability game, and 2) flipping his infamous womanizer image to his advantage. "And if you're looking for someone to write your break-up songs about, baby, I'm perfect. baby, we're perfect" has to be one of the best lyrics from 2015. He's confessional without confessing anything of substance. Remind you of someone?


Moving on to the music, Perfect and Style share the same underlying beat, syncing perfectly in the chorus. Don't believe me? Listen to this:

Dreamy sighhhhhhhhhhhh. Some might call it lazy, I think it's genius. Why wouldn't you echo the most famous song about your relationship? Not blatant enough for you? How about some expertly crafted referential lyrics?

Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights
Long drive, could end in burning flames or paradise

And if you like midnight driving with the windows down
And if you like going places we can’t even pronounce

So it goes he can't keep his wild eyes on the road
Takes me home, lights are off, he's taking off his coat

And if you like having secret little rendezvous
If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do

I say I heard that you been out and about with some other girl
He says, what you've heard it's true but I can't stop thinking about you
And I said I've been there too a few times

I might never be the hands you put your heart in
Or the arms that hold you any time you want them
But that don’t mean that we can’t live here in the moment
'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time​

Perhaps a visual callback?

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How about some coy promo?

UGH I LOVE THEM. WHY DIDN'T I GIVE THIS A 10?
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So. What does @eccentricsimply (0) have to say for herself? "Taylor Swift did it better." A ZERO THOUGH? REALLY.


So expressive! @With The Bands (4)- "Meh." Well I guess that's one more word than @Daniel! (4). Winning?


@Rasterax (5)- "So bland and Louis shouldn't get to start songs. The only interesting thing about this is how all the Larry conspiracy theorists were expecting this to be Harry and Louis' COMING OUT ANTHEM because they both have writing credits on it, and then it turned out to be about casual hook ups and probably Taylor Swift." Don't even try getting in my good graces with this Larry dismissal. It's not going to work.


@SophiaSophia (6)- "The lack of Zarry sharing lead vocals shows Harry just can't carry the band alone vocally. Also I can imagine Zayn's parts again I don't like this." Now I'm just sad Haylor and Zigi didn't happen at the same time. DAMN IT.


The following people are beyond help. Louis' on and off wife @GhettoPrincess (6), @CorgiCorgiCorgi (6), @Furball (6), and @Xanthippe (6.5). GO AWAY.


@Macsun (7)- "Simply ok but i can't deny the production." It really is ace, isn't it?


Oh ho ho! @First2Run (7.5)- "It’s anything but."


@A$AP Robbie (8)- "I kind of enjoy the dig at the paps that this needlessly has." I like to imagine it's about Dan Wooten personally.


NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. @DJHazey (8)- "The chorus is certainly catchy, rebellious, and feels like its soaring. However, it's also very repetitive and undercooked sounding. "If you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about - baby I'm perfect" is a rather clever lyric and when you see Harry as a co-write, it makes you wonder if it was about Taylor."


Will this be the second song in a row you possibly regret downgrading? @VivaForever (8)- "Okay, I definitely remembered this being better than it was. A bit of a bop though. Nice radio rock-pop." Never mind, I forgot she's heartless when it comes to this rate.


@wackseed (8.5)- "This is basically the “hey I'm kind of an asshole with nothing going for him but we can have some fun” theme, but Harry at least kinda makes that persona work for him. The chorus is the strongest part, and there's some nice harmonies too." The road to redemption is a treacherous path.


@Posh Spears (8.5)- "I originally found the lyrics too generic for the song to be thoroughly enjoyable, but it’s grown on me for sure." ??????????????????????????????


OH. @iheartpoptarts (8.5)- "The most boyband single choice they’ve had in ages. I can’t complain at all!"


I have no idea what this has to do with Perfect, @Lost In Japan. (9)!

Spoiler

@Up Down Suite (10) joins me in the psychoanalysis- "I quite like this, though you can tell that it’s not really what they wanted to do musically, I found it a bit mechanical, but it’s normal as they probably wanted to get it over with and finish the contract. Still, a great pop record"


@sexercise (10)- "Kind of sick of it since radio hammered it a bit but I still absolutely adore this. 2nd best single." Oh yeah, I guess this one still gets played too.


This was the only song @Txetxu (10) bothered to comment on! "Giving this to the Matoma mix, such a breezy reinterpretation needs a shoutout!"


I'll let @constantino (10) close us out- "I love Style. No but seriously, I love the shade of Taylor’s ex releasing a song that with an identical melody to one of her singles and outperforming it (#JusticeforStyle). But by default, this is an excellent song, so it gets a 10. SO TAKE ME HOOOOOMME!!"

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Remember when we couldn't take the heat? I walked out and said, "I'm setting you free. But the monsters turned out to be just trees. And when the sun came up, you were looking at me. You were looking at me, you were looking at me. I remember, oh, I remember......