I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate

I will never understand the praise of No Control, to be honest.

 

Oh I forgot to mention, but assuming my health cooperates, we will be losing yet another 11 today.

 

I disagree with Best Song Ever being the best song off the album but it's not surprising it ended up the highest on here.

I know you don't want other artist brought up @ohnostalgia but Broken Hearts sounds like a lost Belinda Carlisle track which probably helped it!

 

It's more like if you're going to bring up other artists make it relevant to One Direction so that it encourages discussion of 1D's work.

This is interesting because I've been struggling to think why Broken Hearts is resonating on a pop forum of all places.

 

Hiiiiiiiiiii.













Did you all have a fun day?

















I .... did not.



























AND NOW IT IS EVEN WORSE.

















WELL DONE YOU LOT.
















WELL DONE.

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#12. I Would [8.333]

High Score: 11 x 1 (@Mr. Right), 10 x 10 (@Animalia, @Fever, @Lost In Japan., @ohnostalgia, @Posh Spears, @SophiaSophia, @Subwaykid, @tylerc904, @wackseed, @With The Bands)
Low Score: 2 x 1 (@Up Down Suite)

AHEM.

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I AM THIS CLOSE TO DELETING WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO FROM MY ITUNES. I AM GENUINELY UNCERTAIN IF I CAN LISTEN TO IT WITHOUT GETTING ANGRY. SOMEONE PLEASE CONSOLE ME, I AM GOING TO SNAP. A MIDDLE AGED WOMAN CHEWED ME OUT OVER THE PHONE TODAY. THEN I FLOP TOP ANSWERS. NOW THIS!!!! HOW MUCH CAN ONE PERSON TAKE? I AM NOT A TEST SUBJECT. I FEEL!!!

* DEEP BREATH *
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My sweet sweet I Would, you deserved so much better. If the Top 10 had more of my tragically murdered favourites, I would be completely fine with this going at #11. But for I Would to lose to WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO is unforgivable!!!!! The 9th track from Take Me Home, I Would is my absolute favourite of the McFly co-writes. That acoustic guitar is like being hit by a refreshing wave on a hot summer's day. The verses are sublime, blessing us with the kii-worthy "I can't compete with your boyfriend, he has 27 tattoos." All of the boys sound great on their verses, yes even Louis. Probably because he's speaking more than singing, but whatever. Perhaps a new career path has emerged for that loathsome one. I absolutely worship that chorus in all its spelled out glory; the complete essence of a fun boyband track. I die at Harry on the bridge, so subtle and restrained. I need more of that Harry in my life and less of the screaming mess he is on a certain track that will not be named. One of you made a comparison between I Would and Zayn's Like I Would, because you still get confused about songs having similar titles. But reading that comparison made me think about how Like I Would is the more grown up and sexy version of I Would. Then I started thinking about time passing and getting old and shit. So thanks for that.


Fun fact: I Would received exactly TWO scores under 7. Who are these misguided fools?


Like clockwork I can usually expect @Up Down Suite (2) to underscore the bops. Absolutely no explanation was given for this injustice, but I doubt it would satisfy me anyways.


Besides that tragedy of a score, the second lowest was from @A$AP Robbie (6)- "It feels like McFly gave them this because they didn't want it, which I guess is a bit telling." Telling that they make terrible life choices? I already knew that from their sexist I Want lyrics.


@sexercise (7) calls it a "Mid-tier bop," but considering it's the second highest scored bop on Take Me Home, not many agreed with him.


@VivaForever (7) shut down that bicurious side real quick- "Okay, back to good stuff, but not as good as what came earlier. I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_ at the title. Especially with those lyrics."


@Xanthippe (7) has a nice kii- "“I can´t compete with your boyfriend, he´s got 27 tattoos” - I still love, that they made Louis sing this."


@Furball (8)- "I would too until the bridge." This better be attacking Louis and not my beloved Harry. Thank you.


Thanks for the L O V E, @CorgiCorgiCorgi (7)? "The chorus is really weird but it works."


@DJHazey (8) is emotional- "The anthem for any guy would always feels like they don't measure up to the 'cool guy' that your crush is with. Amazing harmonizing in the chorus to help drive the point home -- I would give you all of things you'd really want in a relationship."


@Macsun (8) is on point (again)- "One of the many instances on this album were you are like 'where is this going?' then boom! It's all about the pre chorus and chorus."


@eccentricsimply (8.5)- "Such a bop! If it wasn't for the guitar it probably wouldn't be as fun. I personally think it's one of their best lyrically considering the context of this album, and it has a very catchy chorous so I couldn't be more pleased." STAN.


I hope it's not @constantino's (9) birthday any more- "This is SUCH a bop. The guitar in the verses is fucking amazing and the rest is just a rush. The chorus is far weaker than the verses…but I’ll forgive them that because those are some verses…"


@First2Run (9) continues to be thirsty- "I’m not sure who they are singing about, but they sure are confident they are better than him. I believe you, boys, I bet you would."


@iheartpoptarts (9) paints a touching scene- "Let’s repeat the chorus one more time, but bigger! Not a bad idea at all. I officially forgive McFly for ‘I Want’."


@SophiaSophia (10) also prays at the McFly altar- "I was a massive McFly fan back in the day so Tom, Danny and Dougie thanks for an amazing Pop song."


I hope @Animalia (10) took some footage for us- "That tattoo line is dumb as heck but I LIVE. I can't stop myself lip-syncing for my life and serving some fierce shoulder choreo in the library during the chorus aaaaahhh."


@With The Bands (10) tries to start a grudge war but I won't let ha- "Sorry Z, but this is better than yours."


@tylerc904 (10) keeps it simple- "What. A. BOP."


HOLD ME @Posh Spears (10)- "A super cute and fun jam!"


As I received no commentary from our 11 giver, I've appointed @wackseed (10) to speak on his behalf- "This is another one that's absolutely ridiculous and basic and catchy and I LOVE IT. Like, it gets a high rating simply for the line “I can't compete with your boyfriend – he's got 27 tattoos”. That's my favorite line in any song ever. "

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Do you also suffer from Where Do Broken Hearts Go related stress? Please join me at my anger management meeting, hosted from 9:00 pm to 11:00 pm EST in Random Thoughts. I hope to see you there.

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That was one of the low key ones.

Thank you!

Those are all genuine One Direction tattoos in my graphic.

It's a nice watch, half concert half behind the scenes footage. It also includes this:

 

I can't believe today is the day we find out our Top 10.
















It's been such a journey.















I think I've hated on every single one of you at least once.















But today is a celebration.

















VENGEANCE IS MINE!


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#11. Where Do Broken Hearts Go [8.356]

High Score: 11 x 1 (@Reboot), 10 x 10 (@Fever, @First2Run, @KAG, @MarkB, @Mr. Right, @Petty Mayonnaise, @sexercise, @Subwaykid, @With The Bands, @Xanthippe)
Low Score: 4 x 1 (@Up Down Suite)

My Score: 7

All those tens are a goddamn mess.
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I just don't get it. Four is a wonderful amazing album that deserves all the things, but this track... does not. I've had a long and complicated relationship with 80s music my entire life. I told this story during the Winner's Rate, but in high school my friend and I wrote short stories about a secret agent who destroyed all eighties music from the planet. That's how visceral of a dislike I had for the decade. I've obviously mellowed on the 80s since then, but there is one genre I will never ever understand: power ballads and hair rock. I didn't need this from One Direction, but I dealt with it. I learned to be okay with the incessant screaming and embrace Where Do Broken Hearts Go as part of Four. But its placing in this rate has reignited my old prejudices and I would be very happy to never hear it again. I'm rolling my eyes while listening to it right now. Since I obviously can't be objective, I'm not going to spend a lot of time talking about it. But I would please ask that you indulge me while I talk directly to Harry Styles for a moment. Harry, I adore you with my whole heart. But if you decide to pull out more Where Do Broken Hearts Go, WE ARE THROUGH. I (barely) dealt with your MOR, but I cannot cosign this. I don't care how much you wanted to rub all over poor Ronnie Wood, you will stop this madness right now. All the love, @ohnostalgia xoxo.



For once @Up Down Suite's (4) low scoring ways work to my benefit! "WAAY too arena rock for them."


@DJHazey (5) is over it- "This is your everyday ’I broke your heart and I’m feeling guilty about it’ anthem and I don’t really have any time for it."


Bless @CorgiCorgiCorgi (6)- "Cute but forgettable. One of the weaker tracks on a very strong album."


I wonder if your opinion's changed now, @A$AP Robbie (7)?- "Kind of admire its bombastic overconfidence "


@eccentricsimply (7)- "It's not bad, not bad. I don't like Harry enough to actually enjoy it all that much." SIS NEITHER DO I.


@constantino (7), why didn't you underscore this for me??? "The chorus melody reminds me of a watered-down version of Bon Jovi’s Living On a Prayer, with a bit of Don’t Stop Believing thrown in for good measure. As much as I hate power ballads, this isn’t too bad."


ET TU, @wackseed (8)? "There's a lot of great percussion on this album, damn. This song is weirdly short-feeling, with the bridge coming in way too soon, but other than that the guys sound pretty damn good."


I don't understand this comment. At all. @iheartpoptarts (8)- "Such an old 1D kind of chorus. I approve."


This is offensive. @tylerc904 (8)- "Whitney hew????? What a massive track."


Again with the early 1D comparisons? @SophiaSophia (8.5)- "It's got a touch of early 1D about it's just not Pop enough for me."


I cannot with this being one of her highest scores. Kill me. @VivaForever (8.5)- "I think I’ve heard this before! I remember it because it reminds me so much of Hit Me with Your Best Shot. Which is funny because I’d expect it to remind me of, you know, Where do broken hearts go? Can they find their way home? And if somebody loves you, won’t they always love you? SIay me Whitney. Anyway this is a big pop moment. This album’s going really well so far."


Get that praise, Niall! @Macsun (8.5)- "Niall starting the song is one of many instances where he's used effectively on this album. Everyone sounds great on this anthemic stomper."


GUESS WHO MOANED ABOUT THIS FOR AGES WHEN HE GAVE US THIS SCORE. I CANNOT. @Posh Spears (9.5)- "Fuck this for still being in over like 15 lower-ranked songs that are superior. Ew I can't believe I gave it a 9.5, it deserves like an 8.5 or a 0 or something."


@sexercise (10)- "Yes yes yes." ...........


@First2Run (10)- "Legendary." ??????????????


@Xanthippe (10)- "<3 I bet this one would sound amazing live." If they played it live at my concert, I forgot it. Whoops.


@With The Bands (10)- "Phenomenal. (Everytime I hear this song I have flashbacks to that XF performance with Zayn in leather and guyliner)" I'll just soundtrack a different song onto that video.


Although I disagree vehemently with everything he says, I've appointed @KAG (10) to speak for @Reboot (11), as he presents the most coherent of these strange defenses. "This should've been a single. It has a great chorus, exhilarating production and everyone sounds good, particularly Niall. His opening verse is easily his best moment on record. The X Factor performance of this song was also enjoyable and one of the rare moments I thought they came across like superstars on stage."

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Ha I just knew this was going to finish at number 11! I was surprised to not be able find a mash up of this and Heaven Is A Place On Earth on the internet. I love that 80's title so I'm a big fan of it!

 

I never said I completely hated it! I just don't understand why it beat all of the clearly superior songs that left in the 20s. That's why I was getting so angry.

 

Why? I gave out exactly 11 scores under 5 in a 90+ song rate. I saved my low scores for songs that I really hated.