I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate

I cannot believe you posted this on the same day you said the new Tegan and Sara album underwhelmed you.

I'm dead inside.
Only because T&S have set such high standards for themselves! It's still a fantastic album.

On topic: If when Kiss You wins, I think this will be first time my 11 wins in a rate!? Yas.


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Time to say goodbye to another song.

Such a shame it couldn't stay for the Top 5.

Or is it?



#6. Tell Me A Lie [8.519]

High Score: 11 x 1 (@Up Down Suite), 10 x 11 (@eccentricsimply, @Fever, @Lost In Japan., @MarkB, @Mr. Right, @Petty Mayonnaise, @Posh Spears, @sexercise, @SophiaSophia, @Subwaykid, @With The Bands)
Low Score: 4.5 x 1 (@Xanthippe)

My Score: 7


Well I guess @Up Down Suite and I can stop talking in codes. I love how Where Do Broken Hearts Go distracted so many of you from recognizing the true Emma Bunton of this rate: Tell Me a Lie. I never expected this song to get out of the thirties and I'm still stunned you voted it the top track from Up All Night. It's a good song, but it also so clearly shows its Kelly Clarkson reject status. It's very "that'll do." As with much of Up All Night, I'd probably love this track more if they didn't over produce the shit out of it. There are far far too many synthesizers here and the vocals are completely overpowered. BALANCE IS KEY (see: Stole My Heart)!!! So many of you went on and on about Liam and Zayn killing this song, but honestly the life has been sucked out of them once again. I have not the foggiest idea what you are all hearing. I'll just go listen to What a Feeling and Don't Forget Where You Belong, please and thank you. I do like the bridge where they're all singing tell me a lie, probably because you can actually hear them properly. At one point in the voting period I was feeling bad for giving this a seven instead of an eight, but I no longer feel any guilt. I'm glad I didn't further enable this mess. And that's about all I have to say about Tell Me a Lie, it's such a non-starter oh my god what did you all do? I cannot deal with so much questionable judgement.

Of course. Queen of not giving a shit about things like vocals @DJHazey (7) says- "Really has a 'Since U Been Gone" style production working in its favor. The wobbly synths that peak through from time to time might make some people say 'over-produced', but it's all smooth enough sounding for me."

@Furball (7)- "Kelly did a solid for them here. The vocals are throughout so good here, for obvious reasons." You can actually focus on them without dying from synths?

@wackseed (7)- "Okay we're almost halfway through this album and so far almost every song has been about an extremely dysfunctional relationship. I guess there's something appealing about listening to five handsome young men sing about how much they want you/the nameless girl the song is directed to? I like the chorus on this, and Zayn absolutely overshadows every other voice on this, oops." You better watch out for those Liam stans.

@A$AP Robbie (7)- "According to Wikipedia, this was co-written by Kelly Clarkson, which means really it was written for Clarko and she worked on it and said thanks-but-no-thanks. I can weirdly imagine her doing it." She made the right call.

Glad to see some common sense from @CorgiCorgiCorgi (7)- "You can definitely tell Kelly Clarkson wrote this. But, the pop/rock sound works well here. It's not my favorite but I wouldn't change the station if I heard it on the radio."

@Rasterax (7)- "Have y'all heard the Kelly Clarkson demo? It is fantastic and the definite version for me, since I heard it several years before 1D was on my radar." I haven't, but here you all go.

@VivaForever (8)- "Okay, I totally get why this did so well in my rate now. A little basic but a total choon." Isn't it like rate law to listen to all the songs? I'm confused.

@Sprockrooster (8.5) "More of this please. Louis, I am looking at you!" ... you do realize Louis isn't on this? Right?

@tylerc904 (9) follows the money- "YES Kelly, reject this absolute jam so it could make you more coin on a 1D album!! They do this really well, definitely an album highlight"

Even though he sometimes makes terrible decisions, I always enjoy some stanning from @constantino (9)- " The production is very Selena Gomez & the Scene but I love that collaboration so it’s all good. The throbbing synths in the second verse onwards are kinda fantastic. Shit…am I really enjoying a One Direction album this much?! (Yes, yes I am)"

@Animalia (9.5) focuses on the important things! "Screaming at the PS1 Final Fantasy-esque harpsichord that kicks in before the chorus, where did that come from!? This goes awf a bit though, despite being a bit basic."

@Macsun (9)- "One of the best tracks on the album only rivaled by Stole My Heart. Funny how the the best tracks are sung mostly by the best singers in the band, Zayn and Liam. Still baffled at how this was not released as a single. Guess they didn't want to give Kelly Clarkson her coins? " #Justice4Kelly

@iheartpoptarts (9.5) needs to shut this line of thinking down right now- "Thank you, Kelly Clarkson. A lot of her hits would sound great done boyband style, come to think of it…"

@First2Run (9.5) you go girls them- "Tell it like it is, boys."

Oh shit, she's going to throw a fit. @eccentricsimply (10)- "One of my favorite 1D tracks. I'm probably biased because of the amount of Zayn, but I genuinely think this song is sensational. The beat, the distribution, the lack of Louis, everything about this is just great."

@Lost In Japan. (10)- "I’m happy for Harry to take a back seat (though his bridge is nice) because Liam and Zayn absolutely slay this. It’s a Clarko reject through and through but is that really a bad thing? The chorus fucking knocks. TELL ME I’M A SCREWED UP MEEEEESSSS" Well it's not a great thing...

@SophiaSophia (10) brings up That Relationship- "Just amazing [insert cheryl colefernandezvertweedy voice] it's right up my street"

@Posh Spears (10)- "I can't believe Up All Night and Stole My Heart both missed the top 25. I think I overrated this because I just wanted more 10s on their debut, but it's still a fucking catchy and undeniable bop." Remember how One Thing didn't even make Top 5?

@sexercise (10)- "The song that formerly belonged to Kelly Clarkson is a bop and a half." More like 3/4 of a bop.

@With The Bands (10)- "Zayn was the perfect lead for this. Pop perfection thanks to Kelly Clarkson and missed opportunity for a single. I do believe it would have smashed in the US." Maybe.

Let's hand over the spotlight to our stealth rate villain and Bunton in disguise @Up Down Suite (11)- "Whether a Kelly song or a 1D song, it’s just really well crafted. Would also make a great gay ballad with Zayn and Liam (which I’ve always secretly wish they dated cause they’d make a pretty couple lol). My true 11."

How dare you invalidate Liam's relationship with the Colonel?





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With what's left I would have liked Tell Me A Lie to go higher but never thought it would make the top 10 to begin with. With not being their largest fan I can't believe I was one of the top scorers for Up All Night!