I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate | Page 34 | The Popjustice Forum

I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by ohnostalgia, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. Moments is just so cringe.
     
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  2. So are we just kicking out all the acoustic non-bops, then? It probably won't last forever, but I like where we're headed for now!
     
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  3. BTW Poor One Direction having to put up with all these intolerable Ed accousticjams, then Justin Bieber waltzes in and Ed hands him the best thing he's ever written
     
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  4. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    Last cut for the night......










    Have we moved on from the Ed Sheeran hate???????













    (not that one ever should)














    Ah yes, let's cut something equally as awful from my other favourite punching bag-










    [​IMG]


    #86. If I Could Fly [4.667]

    High Score: 9 x 1 (@With The Bands)
    Low Score: 0 x 3 (@eccentricsimply, @Mr. Right, @Up Down Suite)

    My Score: 1​


    GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Okay, I'm calm. I promise. Oh wait, Harry wrote this didn't he? G R E A T. Let me just fall into a deep pit of despair over his upcoming solo career. How could he betray me like this? I defended his hair, I defended his shouty singing, I defended his clothes, I defended him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    *deep breath*


    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


    Third time's a charm right? Okay, please bear with me during this difficult time. The sixth track from More Insipid Troubling Atrocious Melodies, If I Could Fly makes you want to fly..... off a bridge. Oh.... that's just me? Did you mute Louis' part? Is that how you survived? TELL ME YOUR SECRET.


    (Get a hold of yourself girl!)


    Okay. Who the fuck likes this tragedy? Who do I have to drag this time? I'm so tired, you guys. You have no idea. Oh look.... let's pick @With The Bands (9)- "Beautiful, I adore this!" Are you one of those charitable people who tries to find the beauty in everything? Please stop.


    How could @sexercise (8.7) betray me like this- "A surprisingly competent ballad." What on earth is competent about this?


    Unsurprisingly, @Sprockrooster's (7) brief foray with taste did not last long. Attempting a Fall Out Boy reference will not earn my leniency either- "I expected Elton John to pop up suddenly; oh wait that was an other 4-piece boyband"


    Nor did @First2Run's (7)- "This is nice but utterly uninteresting and sleep-inducing. It could really use a big moment." You give songs that put you to sleep a 7? ............ gurl.


    @DJHazey (6) actually listened to the lyrics for some reason- "This is a song that expresses the pain surrounding secret love and long distance relationships...I feel like we get one these from them on every album. I'm usually not here for their minimalist piano ballads, but the melodic chorus kind of works." This is the last thing that people in long distance relationships need, my god.


    Special hateful vibes to the following voters: @GhettoPrincess (7), @Txetxu (6) - AGAIN!!!!!!!, @MollieSwift21 (7.8), @MarkB (7) - AGAIN AND A LOUIS STAN!!!!!!!!, @Subwaykid (7), @Posh Spears (6) - OH DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!, @Rasterax (6), @Animalia (7.5) - PARIAH!!!!!!!!!!!, @Fever (6) - JESUS, and @Xanthippe (8) - you showed such promising taste when you submitted your ballot.... this hurts.


    Much like our previous cut, most of you didn't bother hating on this. Before I get to the comments, special shoutout to my sister in good taste @Petty Mayonnaise (2), since you complained about no mention last time. Get that attention!


    Let's start with @wackseed (5)- "Here the album uses the old “let Harry sing the first chorus all by himself” trick to try and make people emotionally attached to this song. It's...not very effective. Ehhh, the piano's nice, at least? " I hate to tell you that Harry's responsible for this, sis. I KNOW.


    @VivaForever (5.5) only hates half of this- "Very nice chorus. Very blah verses. Fuck Louis’ vocals." The Louis drag, as always, is appreciated.


    For @SophiaSophia (1) it was another day, another not slay- "Another boring ballad from One Direction what's new…"


    While @eccentricsimply (0) fell asleep - " *snoozes*"


    @iheartpoptarts (2) gets her wish- "Didn’t last long in the old rate, and I hope it doesn’t last long here, either! Forgettable."


    Last word to @constantino (1) who dared to doubt my Made in the A.M. hate- "Oh HERE WE GO! This is the garbage I was promised and the boys did NOT let me down! What a shitty song this is. Drag your album average down a bit, lads! Suffice to say, my puss did NOT fly when listening to this, quite the opposite actually."



    While I go cry over Harry's taste, here's a lyric video you could watch. I wouldn't recommend it.






    Alright, darlings. We conclude another night of @ohnostalgia's One Direction feelings. Stay iconic.​
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2019
  5. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU! LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS!
     
  6. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    F I N A L L Y
     
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  7. Subwaykid

    Subwaykid Staff Member

    Aw, Moments is the first one I'll actually miss. It gets so good when everything properly kicks up at the end.


    I....won't answer for my If I Could Fly score.
     
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  8. I kind of feel like ...Fly is just a bit unremarkable. Which is the best that Harry has been able to do largely as a songwriter (which is a shame because he is such a s-t-a-r. He should just get some people in and continue wearing good clothes for any solo record)
     
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  9. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    [​IMG]

    .... maybe that's best.
     
  10. These need to go soon:

    You & I
    Little Black Dress
    Alive

    Half A Heart
    One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks)
    Infinity
    Never Enough
    Wolves
     
  11. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    We've needed you to go for a long time yet you're still here, aren't you? I won't tolerate Wolves hate.
     
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  12. Drinking again?
     
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  13. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    Your existence is so terrible I don't need alcohol to come for it.
     
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  14. MollieSwift21

    MollieSwift21 Staff Member

    Ha If I Could Fly was one of my highest on Made In AM. I like piano ballads in general.
     
    sexercise likes this.
  15. You don't need it, but it'll make things easier for you.
     
  16. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    Trying to make an alcoholic out of me won't get you cookies.
     
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  17. Where's your mind? I just mean it'll make it easier for you to deal with my existence...
     
  18. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    Exactly.
     
  19. Poor Gaggsy.
    Poor Kate Ryan.
    Poor H & Claire.
    Poor Allie X.

    (This was originally just going to be the last one, but I couldn't resist a few drags, no matter how half-hearted, no pun intended.)
     
    ohnostalgia likes this.
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