I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate | Page 39 | The Popjustice Forum

I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by ohnostalgia, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. Who has MOR aspirations these days, anyway? He's not even old yet!
    ohnostalgia likes this.
  2. Harry's MOR aspirations are deeply worrying post-1D
    ohnostalgia and iheartpoptarts like this.
  3. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    What are we getting rid of next?

    I'm honestly so happy right now!!!!!

    If there's anything I hate more than Harry's dumbass MOR, it's

    Louis and Liam cowriting Baby's First 80s Rock Tune-


    #84. Little Black Dress [5.147]

    High Score: 10 x 1 (@thefaceofyou)
    Low Score: 0 x 2 (@DJHazey, @SophiaSophia)

    My Score: 1​

    Ah yes, it's our first Liam and Louis cowrite with an assist by the not so dynamic duo John and Julian (of I Want to Write You a Song infamy). I'd like to put out a warrant for whoever introduced the Ls to 80s rock because it's all so incredibly tragic. Tuneless, half-baked, generic, uninspired.... take your pick. @wackseed (3) really hits on one of the major issues with her commentary: "Here's where this album falls flat for me. This is a song about a dress, not a person. A DRESS." That REALLY bothers me- way to dehumanize women in your songs, One Direction. FURTHERMORE way to imply that this woman wore a black dress to impress a man. Jesus. For a boyband who's primary audience is teenage girls, they sure struggle with respecting them sometimes. U G H.

    So who among us endorses dehumanizing, fury inducing, 80s rock rehashes, hmmmmmmmmmmm?

    I cannot believe this song got a 10 (@thefaceofyou), two 9.5s (@Txetxu and @Fever), and two 9s (@Remorque and @Mr. Right). You all realize that even @Sprockrooster didn't give this a 10? NOT EVEN @Sprockrooster!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats on being more tragic than him today.

    Speaking of the Sprock (7), this is what he had to share with me- "Ooow boys, I like it rough." Save it for your Louis Tomlinson fan letters please.

    That was the only completely positive commentary I received, but I did get some "it's not that bad" comments from the middle scorers-

    @First2Run (6.5)- "This song is actually incredibly boring unfortunately, despite nothing being inherently wrong with it." I hope @wackseed's feminist comments gave you a true reason to hate it, since apparently being an awful 80s rehash wasn't enough?

    @eccentricsimply (6)- "It's not bad but it's so messy and it doesn't match anything else in the album. Which is a big issue in MM - there's nothing that gives context to the mess these songs are." I actually think this song matches a lot of other horrible 80s rock imitations that I hope will be leaving soon.

    @sexercise (6) mentions some.... band- "Van Halen wants their song back. Actually kind of catchy but I’m not entertaining this."

    @A$AP Robbie's (6) comments match the song - "Bit basic."

    Before we move on to the people with correct opinions, I cannot forget to list the usual suspects: @Lost In Japan. (6.5) LOL!, @MollieSwift21 (6.3) HAHAHA, @Macsun (6) I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_, @MarkB (8) OMG, @Posh Spears (6.5) OFC, @Rasterax (7.5) PITY, and @Xanthippe (7) - Y? Don't forget them in your prayers tonight.

    Okay, let's bleed.... the rock out? I have no idea.....

    Me too, @iheartpoptarts (5.5), me too - "I liked 1D because they were a boyband, not a classic rock tribute. Where did my boyband go?"

    @Animalia (3.5) is betrayed!!! - "I kinda thought we, as a global community, had rightly decided that the Foo Fighters were dead and done with? Fuck right off with this one."

    While @CorgiCorgiCorgi (1) blesses us with a rare comment- "This track listing is such a mess. Why did they put this garbage right after the two best songs on the album?"

    @DJHazey (0) is afraid of offending 80s rock fans for some reason?- "A song with a title like this shouldn’t be this atrocious. I have absolutely no time for another second of this! Honest to God you’d think that somebody like, well I’d name drop a classic rock band but I don’t want somebody to clock me for inaccuracy...but it’s one of them and it sucks!"

    Although maybe he didn't want to pull a @constantino (3) who somehow thought of.. "EW. Bruce Springsteen you ain’t, lads. I don’t even like/listen to Bruce Springsteen; I just imagine that this is what a cheap imitation of his music sounds like. Anyway, this is just poor all round." Okay then.

    @Up Down Suite (3) worries me with this comment, but at least they give it a horrible score- "Kind of annoying to me, I have to REALLY be in the mood to like it."

    Last word to @SophiaSophia (0) who clocks the Ls- "This is like someone has discovered their Dad's vinyl collection for the first time and thinks it's cool. Just pointless really..."

    Unfortunately this was a tour staple and you can watch them "perform" this here-

    Last edited: Aug 26, 2019
  4. Sprockrooster likes this.
  5. Honestly? The words to that song are so generic, it's never occurred to me that it's about anything at all! I won't miss it!
    ohnostalgia likes this.
  6. Anyways, it's about fucking time that mess leaves. Should've been the first one gone!
    wackseed and ohnostalgia like this.
  7. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    Don't encourage him!
  8. I mean, I wouldn't have the guts to discuss such things with my commentary in a girl group rate. Heroic, teebs.
  9. MollieSwift21

    MollieSwift21 Staff Member

    Both of these songs were below my average that I gave for them as group. I also rated the songs based off the group. What was an 11 in this rate might only be an 8.5 in another.
    VivaForever likes this.
  10. Awwwww. My 11 in this rate is an 11 forever!
    ohnostalgia likes this.
  11. Subwaykid

    Subwaykid Staff Member

    I remember really liking Something Great when Midnight Memories first came out, but after going back to it for this rate it seems to have really lost it's shine. Little Black Dress was and always will be shit.
    ohnostalgia likes this.
  12. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    MollieSwift21 likes this.
  13. Is that a tiny teapot, or, more troublingly a mug you can pour out of? My brow is furrowed rn
    ohnostalgia likes this.
  14. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    Where can we vote to get @DJHazey out of the forum?
    ohnostalgia likes this.
  15. Slamming the door on your shade, my favorite time of the day. What is it this time, dear?
  16. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    It would be shade if I didn't @ you.

    I don't tolerate Something Great hate. It's not the song's fault that they chose Louis to finish it.
    ohnostalgia likes this.
  17. KAG


    They perform like they've only met each other a couple minutes before going on stage. There's no unity or presence. I'm glad 'Something Great' and 'Little Black Dress' are out - both dull and age inappropriate songs, however I expected the latter would last a little longer as I thought it was a 'fan favourite'.
    ohnostalgia likes this.
  18. I don't tolerate those who give Little Black Dress a half decent score.
    Remorque and VivaForever like this.
  19. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    Little Black Dress is better than The Beatles entire discography.
  20. Honeysweetiebaby, no.
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