I come back from an accidental hiatus to THIS? SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ??????????????????????????????????????/ I cannot deal with you lot today, this is atrocious. How DARE you? Fare thee well my sweet sweet #70. Olivia [6.036] High Score: 10 x 3 (@eccentricsimply, @First2Run, @Xanthippe) Low Score: 0 x 2 (@iheartpoptarts, @VivaForever) My Score: 8 @(#%*@#([email protected])[email protected])!!%!$#@T$)*%@$. You all realize Love You Goodbye and A.M are still here? RIGHT? This is the greatest tragedy since Act My Age-gate. I'm honestly ashamed at you all. I could just!!!!!!!!! There's nothing where you used to lie The conversation has run dry That's what's going on Nothing's right, I'm torn. I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel. If ever people ask me why I love and adore Harry Styles I direct them to Olivia. If you could encapsulate Harry into a song, Olivia would be it. It's completely ridiculous, yet maddeningly endearing. It's over the top and pretentious, but in the very best way. It's some of his best vocals in a long ass time. It's lovingly plagiarized (Haim - The Wire), but you don't really care. You love it but you also hate how much you love it. Welcome to the world of Harry stanning!!! Any Harry stan who gave this a low score must hand in their badge. I don't make the rules, I simply enforce them. If I'd known how you'd all massacre this I would have bumped my score to a 10. As you probably guessed, Harry teamed up with John and Julian to write Olivia, the ninth track from that Minimally Impactful Trap of Awful Memories (MITAM). This is very Beatles-esque, which many of you clocked and disliked (?). Look I know it's popular to hate on the Beatles these days, but they had some bops. They were the original boy band! If I sound defensive it's because I may or may not have had a giant Abbey Road poster on my bedroom wall when I was a teenager. Anyways, don't you think it's almost full circle how One Direction released a Beatles tribute on their final album? Isn't that joyful and fun? ANYONE? RITA? ELEANOR? JULIA? SADIE? PAUL? Also for those of you who hate the Beatles it could have been worse- John and Julian stopped Harry from putting all the trumpets he wanted on this song. Harry to this day contends the song is unfinished because of that. To further prove my point that this song is pure Harry, please refer to this interview. One of the great questions threading throughout your commentary was who is Olivia? Harry: Is Olivia even a person? Is Olivia an emotion? Is she a place? We don't know. Niall: Or did Olivia just rhyme with live for ya? Harry: No, that's lazy songwriting. CLOCK HIM NIALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.!!!!!!!!1 God I love when Niall calls Harry on his bullshit. #NarryIsReal. Anyways, let's see who I have to be angry at this time. The joke's on @iheartpoptarts (0) because there's no Olivia to hate this- "I bet even Olivia herself doesn’t like this song. Whoever she is." I, on the other hand, would consider a name change. @VivaForever (0) will be handing in that Harry stan card because I refuse to let her keep it after this- "Ghastly. Absolutely ghastly." I think that's your taste dear. @sexercise (2) apparently buys into the Harry is a Witch theory, "Get this devilry out of my face." HARUMPH. I've seen @Furball (3) make this exact post about 500 times now, yawwwwwwwwwwwwn - "Harry likes Beatles tributes, and I can't" @SophiaSophia (4) drags my dear Harry and I will not stand for it! I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. "I don't know who their A&R is but they have been doing a consistently crap job since Midnight Memories." Let me single out the other voters who are driving me to an early grave - @Up Down Suite (2), @Lost In Japan. (5) - REALLY SIS GIMME YOUR HARRY STAN CARD TOO, @Mr. Right (2.5), @MollieSwift21 (5.3), @With The Bands (5), @MarkB (2), @Reboot (4), and @Daniel! (5). I hope summer misses ya, please and thank you. MOVING ON. Hello lovely people who I adore and who deserve all the butterflies and summertime in existence. What do you all have to say about this wonderful joyful Harry Styles of a tune? @DJHazey (6) makes a comparison I suspect would delight one Harry Styles, "Another experimental track with subtle 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' bridges and Beatles-esque choruses. I guess it doesn't suck completely this time." @constantino (7) read Harry's mind (was it a scary place?)- "This is a sweet song. It’s a bit of light relief from all the sappy bullshit they subject us to on A.M. I don’t know who this girl is, nor do I care. In fact, I doubt she even exists, which is messy in itself." @wackseed (7) makes a strange comparison but okay- "This whole song feels like a lost track from a Barenaked Ladies album and I sort of like that? It's very tonally jarring, but it's a cute song. Also “summertime butterflies it's all part of your creation” suggests to me that Olivia is some sort of nature goddess." @Xanthippe (10) and I agree for once! "Love the butterflies part." Noted Harry hater @eccentricsimply (10) puts her differences aside and gets her life! "A fun song!!! This one is so good. It's silly but not a bad silly? I like it a lot." Yay, it's one of the times that @First2Run (10) and I agree! LOVE THOSE. "Olivia is Diana! It’s weird but I love their vocals on this song. It’s got such a poppy rhythm that gets to me." Were you around to see how tumblr started shipping Olivia/Diana? Last word to @CorgiCorgiCorgi (8) who blesses us with one of her rare comments- " It’s bonkers. I love it. I love it more than I should just because it’s one of the few songs on Made In The AM that isn’t generic as hell." PUHREACH!!!!!!!!! While I'm busy collecting some Harry stan cards, you may watch a lyric video here: I hate you all.