I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate | Page 52 | The Popjustice Forum

I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by ohnostalgia, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    I come back from an accidental hiatus to THIS?



    I cannot deal with you lot today, this is atrocious.

    How DARE you?

    Fare thee well my sweet sweet


    #70. Olivia [6.036]

    High Score: 10 x 3 (@eccentricsimply, @First2Run, @Xanthippe)
    Low Score: 0 x 2 (@iheartpoptarts, @VivaForever)

    My Score: 8

    @(#%*@#([email protected])[email protected])!!%!$#@T$)*%@$. You all realize Love You Goodbye and A.M are still here? RIGHT? This is the greatest tragedy since Act My Age-gate. I'm honestly ashamed at you all. I could just!!!!!!!!!

    There's nothing where you used to lie
    The conversation has run dry
    That's what's going on
    Nothing's right, I'm torn.
    I'm all out of faith.

    This is how I feel.

    If ever people ask me why I love and adore Harry Styles I direct them to Olivia. If you could encapsulate Harry into a song, Olivia would be it. It's completely ridiculous, yet maddeningly endearing. It's over the top and pretentious, but in the very best way. It's some of his best vocals in a long ass time. It's lovingly plagiarized (Haim - The Wire), but you don't really care. You love it but you also hate how much you love it. Welcome to the world of Harry stanning!!! Any Harry stan who gave this a low score must hand in their badge. I don't make the rules, I simply enforce them. If I'd known how you'd all massacre this I would have bumped my score to a 10.

    As you probably guessed, Harry teamed up with John and Julian to write Olivia, the ninth track from that Minimally Impactful Trap of Awful Memories (MITAM). This is very Beatles-esque, which many of you clocked and disliked (?). Look I know it's popular to hate on the Beatles these days, but they had some bops. They were the original boy band! If I sound defensive it's because I may or may not have had a giant Abbey Road poster on my bedroom wall when I was a teenager. Anyways, don't you think it's almost full circle how One Direction released a Beatles tribute on their final album? Isn't that joyful and fun? ANYONE? RITA? ELEANOR? JULIA? SADIE? PAUL? Also for those of you who hate the Beatles it could have been worse- John and Julian stopped Harry from putting all the trumpets he wanted on this song. Harry to this day contends the song is unfinished because of that.

    To further prove my point that this song is pure Harry, please refer to this interview. One of the great questions threading throughout your commentary was who is Olivia?

    Harry: Is Olivia even a person? Is Olivia an emotion? Is she a place? We don't know.
    Niall: Or did Olivia just rhyme with live for ya?
    Harry: No, that's lazy songwriting.

    God I love when Niall calls Harry on his bullshit. #NarryIsReal.

    Anyways, let's see who I have to be angry at this time. The joke's on @iheartpoptarts (0) because there's no Olivia to hate this- "I bet even Olivia herself doesn’t like this song. Whoever she is." I, on the other hand, would consider a name change.

    @VivaForever (0) will be handing in that Harry stan card because I refuse to let her keep it after this- "Ghastly. Absolutely ghastly." I think that's your taste dear.

    @sexercise (2) apparently buys into the Harry is a Witch theory, "Get this devilry out of my face." HARUMPH.

    I've seen @Furball (3) make this exact post about 500 times now, yawwwwwwwwwwwwn - "Harry likes Beatles tributes, and I can't"

    @SophiaSophia (4) drags my dear Harry and I will not stand for it! I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. "I don't know who their A&R is but they have been doing a consistently crap job since Midnight Memories."

    Let me single out the other voters who are driving me to an early grave - @Up Down Suite (2), @Lost In Japan. (5) - REALLY SIS GIMME YOUR HARRY STAN CARD TOO, @Mr. Right (2.5), @MollieSwift21 (5.3), @With The Bands (5), @MarkB (2), @Reboot (4), and @Daniel! (5). I hope summer misses ya, please and thank you.

    MOVING ON. Hello lovely people who I adore and who deserve all the butterflies and summertime in existence. What do you all have to say about this wonderful joyful Harry Styles of a tune?

    @DJHazey (6) makes a comparison I suspect would delight one Harry Styles, "Another experimental track with subtle 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' bridges and Beatles-esque choruses. I guess it doesn't suck completely this time."

    @constantino (7) read Harry's mind (was it a scary place?)- "This is a sweet song. It’s a bit of light relief from all the sappy bullshit they subject us to on A.M. I don’t know who this girl is, nor do I care. In fact, I doubt she even exists, which is messy in itself."

    @wackseed (7) makes a strange comparison but okay- "This whole song feels like a lost track from a Barenaked Ladies album and I sort of like that? It's very tonally jarring, but it's a cute song. Also “summertime butterflies it's all part of your creation” suggests to me that Olivia is some sort of nature goddess."

    @Xanthippe (10) and I agree for once! "Love the butterflies part."

    Noted Harry hater @eccentricsimply (10) puts her differences aside and gets her life! "A fun song!!! This one is so good. It's silly but not a bad silly? I like it a lot."

    Yay, it's one of the times that @First2Run (10) and I agree! LOVE THOSE. "Olivia is Diana! It’s weird but I love their vocals on this song. It’s got such a poppy rhythm that gets to me." Were you around to see how tumblr started shipping Olivia/Diana?

    Last word to @CorgiCorgiCorgi (8) who blesses us with one of her rare comments- " It’s bonkers. I love it. I love it more than I should just because it’s one of the few songs on Made In The AM that isn’t generic as hell." PUHREACH!!!!!!!!!

    While I'm busy collecting some Harry stan cards, you may watch a lyric video here:

    I hate you all.
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2016
  2. From the people who brought you Steps' "Mars and Venus (We Fall in Love Again)," it's poptarts and Viva's "Greece and Cyprus (We Agree on a Pop Song Again)."

    And I always like to think Olivia is Olivia Newton-John. What other Olivias even are there.

  3. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    I hope it was worth forfeiting your Harry stan card, cyst.
    VivaForever likes this.
  4. Stanning for Olivia & coming for A.M.? Uh...
  5. You're right, they're both shit.
  6. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    I think you're talking out of your ass here.
  7. Joke's on you, I never had it printed. Nothing to forfeit, nothing for you to shred, presh.
  8. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    Can't understand Canadian? Let me translate it to American for you - "Olivia is the shit, A.M. fucking sucks."
    VivaForever and ohnostalgia like this.
  9. The backlash!

    A.M. is boring at worst. I'm consulting my lawyer about filing assault charges against them because of Olivia.
    VivaForever likes this.
  10. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    You're suing because your ears were "assaulted" by a good song? Get taste.
    sexercise and eccentricsimply like this.
  11. MollieSwift21

    MollieSwift21 Staff Member

    The scandal of ohnostalgia coming for everyone when they love Olivia!
  12. She can't help it that she has the taste of a middle-aged spinster!
  13. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    You're the one stanning your life for Adele, sis.
  14. Well did I say I (or Mollie) DIDN'T???
  15. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    Get back to me when you start liking my writeups.
    MollieSwift21 and VivaForever like this.
  16. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    Kiss me hard before you go

    Summertime sadness

    I just wanted you to know

    That baby, you're the worst

    I got that summertime, summertime sadness

    Bring back Olivia!


    #69. Once in a Lifetime [6.083]

    High Score:
    10 x 5 (@constantino, @eccentricsimply, @GhettoPrincess, @Up Down Suite, @Xanthippe)
    Low Score: 0 x 1 (@Mr. Right)

    My Score: 3

    Oh dear. This might be too much for poor @eccentricsimply and @Xanthippe to handle today. Normally I'd be happy to get rid of this, but I feel like I'm betraying my fellow Olivia fans. I probably could have bumped this up to a five-six, but it suffers a bit from being a John and Julian penned bonus track on the stellar Four. I would definitely take this over the irritating Love You Goodbye, though. While this is a bit slow, there are at least some good vocals and Louis doesn't dominate the track or sound too terrible here. The lyrics are a little eh, but they're not the worst we've heard either. What did you lot have to say about this one?

    I didn't get many negative comments, so let me just throw @VivaForever (4.5) to the wolves- "I’ve already forgotten what this sounded like, which is too bad after two great songs." I sense that you might be in danger!

    Also sorry @First2Run (5), you were the only other meh comment- "I truly appreciate what this song tried to do, but it did not work." I do agree with you though, because I just don't get the flow of positiivity that's about to swallow us whole.

    @iheartpoptarts (6.5) can use this sometimes- "Background music, but really pretty background music nonetheless."

    @SophiaSophia (7.5) singles this out as one of their good ballads- "One of the very rare cases where 1D have a good ballad just not a fan of the abrupt ending."

    (9) was pleasantly reminded this exists- "I forgot how nice this is."

    (9) bemoans the lack of slow songs on Four, which is just factually incorrect, but whatever- "One of the major issues with this album is there aren't enough slow songs. This one is therefore a breath of fresh air – just the guys and a guitar and some really lovely harmonies. That chorus particularly is breathtaking."

    Even @DJHazey (9) is a fan! "I never thought I would truly enjoy an acoustic ballad from these guys, but here we are."

    @Xanthippe (10)
    says this- "feels like a summer day in a deck chair."

    This is a special one for @Up Down Suite (10)- "So short, I can’t believe it’s only 2:38. One of the very few songs that can make me tear up. I was regularly playing this at a very tough time in my teens, so it will always have a special place in my heart. I played this a few time before I moved onto the next track. ’Once in a lifetime, you were mine...’ sigh"

    @eccentricsimply (10) continues her Liam stannage- "The most precious song 1D has ever put out. It's raw and it's beautiful and it's simple, it's lyrically beautiful and I want Liam crooning that song in my ear for the rest of my life."

    Last word to @constantino (10) who took a Journey with this rate- "WAIT at this getting me a little E·MO·TIONal…THAT I was not expecting. This is honestly one of the most beautiful songs I’ve heard in a long while (well, like in the last month or smthn). For once [in a lifetime] they all sound tolerable, good even. The vocal melody is fricking stellar."

    While I still don't love this you've all moved me with your commentary so I didn't drag you.

    That's all for tonight. See you all tomorrow. Don't kill me.
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2018

  17. Much improved.

    Remorque likes this.
  18. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    DJHazey, constantino and VivaForever like this.
  19. I don't remember what I gave Olivia help am I still in the Harry fan club???
    VivaForever and ohnostalgia like this.
  20. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    A 7. So yes. I somehow missed your commentary but I added it in.
    wackseed likes this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.